My home state is in this chapter! Yaaay! And more Cali in this chapter! Yaaaay! Also there's going to be a little Civil War tension in this chapter.
Rated T because of language, minor themes, and some (comedic) violence.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
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Cali was eagerly chattering away with Italy about some weird American food he was interested in. After America proved Cali wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, he kindly offered the countries a few nights at his house so they could get to know his children. And so they wouldn't consider the children international threats.
America's house was huge. There were so many doors. England had lost count at 27. also there were multiple portraits of young children; some of the children looked identical to America, and some looked nothing like him. It all made England very uneasy.
"And that's Californian pizza!" England heard Cali say.
"Uh…..it sounds….great." England could tell Italy was trying to sound enthusiastic. In England's eyes, Italy had failed, but Cali was too much of a ditz to figure that out.
"Anyhow, you're rooms are just, like, a few hallways….away! Ha ha! That was funny." No one but Cali laughed.
"Cali Jones you stop in yer Goddamned footsteps right NOW!" A loud voice called out from behind the group.
"Shit….." Cali said under her breath. England turned around to see a boy, who looked about the same age as Cali (give or take a few years), coming straight towards the group. His eyes were dead set on Cali. He pushed past England and the others. He grabbed one of Cali's wrists and she let out a yelp. The boy had a cowboy hat on so it covered the details of his face but England could tell that the boy had brown hair and lightly tanned skin.
"What do you want, Texie-Rexie?" Cali asked in a cheery voice, despite the fact she radiated fear.
"An apology." The boy said. He had a very strange accent. Back when England still ruled over America, people in the southern part of the colonies had the same accent, or at least a variation of it.
"I, like, don't know what you're talking about. Nobody does, Texie-Rexie." Cali smiled innocently. The boy, Texie-Rexie, laughed sarcastically.
"You're a dipshit, Cali." Cali's nostrils flared.
"Fuck off, Texas!" Texas (at least England hoped that was his real name) seemed to finally notice the countries. He let go of Cali's wrist and glared at the countries before him.
"Who're they?"
"Dad's friends. Or, like, acquaintances. Or whatever. They think we're, like, threats? That's sooooo silly!"
"Not as silly as you think." Germany muttered.
"Funny soundin' folks." Texas said. "I'm Texas, by the way." He took off his hat and bowed.
"Texas….." England heard France say to himself. Then France spoke up, "Didn't you once belong to Mexico?" Texas's eyes darkened.
"Yeah. I don't really like to talk about that." Texas sighed and then turned his attention back to Cali. "We'll get back to you kind folks in a second. Now, Cali, apologize."
Cali was looking at her nails, obviously uninterested in Texas. "For what?"
"What you said."
"The Carolinas told me that you said, and I quote, 'Texas, like, stole Dad's glasses from him durin' the Civil War'." Texas was fuming.
"First of all, I'd never say 'durin'. Second, I was only saying that because the Carolinas said I did nothing during the Civil War. They, like, worship you so I thought if I made fun of you it would bother them. Mission, like, success." Cali smiled proudly. Listening to her ruin the English language made England's brain hurt.
"How dare you!"
"How dare you! At least I'm not the one who stole Daddy's glasses!"
"At least I did somethin' durin' the war!"
"Yeah, fighting against your own father is really something' to be proud of."
"Why you little-" But Texas never got to finish. Cali lunged at him and the two landed on the ground and began pounding on each other mercilessly. The countries just stared at them. It was nice to see someone besides them fight for a change. Just as the fighting was starting to get really intense, England felt someone push past him. The next thing he knew, another boy was tearing Cali off of Texas as she screamed obscenities at both of the boys. Texas got up of the ground and both he and Cali were breathing heavily.
"We all good now?" The new boy asked, with one eyebrow raised. He was an odd looking boy. Not that he was deformed or ugly; it was just the fact that England could spot a lot of nationalities in this one boy. Irish, Polish, French, German, English, etc. England could go on all day. His accent was even stranger than Texas's. It sounded very nasally. England couldn't remember ever hearing that accent when he used to rule America. But the strangest thing about this boy was the old burn wounds that ran along his arms and the tips of the wounds that were poking out from underneath the collar of the boy's shirt. The wounds were obviously old but England could only imagine how painful it was to get those wounds.
"We will be when she apologizes." Texas said stubbornly. The other boy sighed.
"Cali, just apologize. It's not dat hard. And Texas, don't be so rude to Cali. Perhaps if you had just asked her nicely, she would have apologized immediately." England tried not to throw up at the use of the "word" 'dat'. Just when he thought this boy might be different, he was let down.
"Fine. But only because you're asking nicely. Texas, I'm sorry for my, like, rude remark." Cali said sarcastically. Texas smiled triumphantly and the other boy turned to look at the countries.
"I'm Illinois. Sorry about my little brother and sister. Dey don't understand manners." Illinois smiled slyly as his two siblings frowned. Maybe he isn't so bad after all, England thought, well except for that whole 'dey' thing. But other then that, he seems quite all right.
"Do I know you, mon ami?" France asked Illinois. Illinois blushed slightly.
"Marquette and Joliet." Illinois was staring at the ground and dragging his foot across the carpet.
"Oh, oui. Zey went zrough your territory before the English even imagined what was west. I remember. Tell me, what has become of Illinois?" Illinois paused for a moment. He seemed to be contemplated France's question carefully.
"De third largest city in the country is in my state. Abraham Lincoln spent a lot of time here so they call me 'The Land of Lincoln'. I hate New York and Wisconsin. And…one of da most important things to da people of my state is…DA BEARS!"
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My home state is Illinois! Over here in the northern part of Illinois, most people have a really nasally voice and we have a tendency to replace 'th' with'd' (i.e. dese, dat, dem, dose, etc.). Illinois has old burn wounds on his body because of the Great Chicago Fire. He hates New York because people in New York City sometimes refer to Chicago as 'The Second City' and he hates Wisconsin because of the rivalry between the Bears (Illinois) and the Packers (Wisconsin). Also, Chicago used to be in Wisconsin but because of where they were building train tracks, Illinois was extended a bit and got Chicago. But at the end of the day, Illinois still loves New York and Wisconsin, even if they annoy the crap out of him. Also, if you don't know who Marquette and Joliet were, allow me to tell you. They were basically two French guys looking for the Northwest Passage (a passage through North America to the Pacific) and they used the Great Lakes to get to what would be modern day Illinois. They used the Illinois River and the Mississippi River for travel. Like all who searched for the Northwest Passage, they weren't able to find one. There's a statue of the two of them right near my house. Enough about two of my favorite French explorers! Don't forget to review! Tell me what you guys think of Illinois; I'd really appreciate! Thank ya'll sooo much!