A/N: Once again guys, thank you so much for all the support! At request of one of my friends, chapter five belongs to our main man, Gerald Johanssen. As I mentioned earlier, chapter six belongs to his little sister, Timberly, and after her, I'd like to get to Gerald's main girlfriend, Phoebe… (WHAT?) Don't deny it, Gerald. We both know the rumors are true, which we'll learn more about from Gerald's perspective in this chapter.

Dear writers,

I would have never found out about this website if it were not for my main man, Arnold. He called me one night and told of the stories that he had read.

I, of course, thought that he was now insane. I mean, unless they happened to be stalking us, how could you guys know so much about us… and at the same time, so little about us? You guys aren't stalking us, right? Please say no.

It turned out that he wasn't insane, because that website actually did exist, with all types of stories from television shows, books all that junk. I was surprised and slowly began questioning reality.

I'm still questioning reality, you know. Whether or not this is all just a television show and I'm a rich actor on another universe or something. I'm still unsure of that. I think it has me traumatized for life.

I mean, imagine living your life as a normal ten-year old kid, and then your homeboy calls you and tells you about this odd website. At first, you're thinkin' that he needs to be sent off to the looney bin, until you read about it yourself. And you feel so many different emotions. Surprise, fear, disgust, oh, I could name them for days!

Anyway, now that I've gotten over telling you guys how much this website has traumatized me, why don't I move on so that I can't be any more traumatized than I already am?

Why don't I begin with writing quality? Some stories have some of the best writing quality that I've ever seen (admittedly not as well as Phoebe's), while others have even worse writing quality than Harold's!

Some of you on this site can barely spell. It's sad. If you're going to write, know how to spell and check for spelling mistakes before you post it for the world to see. Didn't you learn about that in school? Gee, man, it's times like this when I realize that we really do need school. Otherwise idiots like that will come up in the future, maybe in ten to twenty years.

There are a few of you who have actual talent. You know, like you could actually publish a book or somethin', man. One story that I liked was called "Falsely Accused." Unfortunately, for that one Helga was a main character, although I have to admit that it was fitting. The author of that one is talented. I wouldn't be surprised if he went on to publish books and become rich.

Others, I wouldn't say such a thing. This is mostly on the older fics, although a few of them have the worst writing I have ever seen in my ten-year old life! Even Sid could probably do better than those of you who I have to say this about.

Now enough about the writing quality and all that, let me get onto what actually traumatized me aside from some of the terrible writing. I'll begin with what really bothered me; the disgusting ones.

While I do admit that as a ten-year old boy I should not have been checking out the M section, I have a few things to say to those of you who LIKE reading fanfiction where we TEN-YEAR OLDS take off our clothes. I truthfully don't know what happened next in those fics since I stopped reading after that, but I do know that it was nasty.

What is wrong with some of you people? Do you find pleasure in the thought of a naked ten-year old? Huh? Huh?

It's just disgusting. It's wrong. It's… that word that Phoebe always says… inhumane.

I feel uncomfortable even talking about this, so let's move on.

Another thing that bothered me were your unlikely couples. Let me start with one that is terrible. My main man, Arnold, and the bully of PS118, Helga G. Pataki.

I can't even begin to tell you how stupid the thought of those two ever hooking up is, yet you all "ship" it. Now, I admit that I suspect something there that's not either rivalry, friendship, or possibly a crush, but that doesn't prove anything. They wouldn't work out. They're too much of opposites and I don't doubt that they'd argue all the time.

Plus, why would Arnold go for a bully when he can practically get any girl in our school? I'm pretty sure that every girl in our class last year has had a crush on Arnold at least once. Well, except for Helga and Phoebe, which is pretty much my main point.

I don't see how they're the most popular couple in our archive. It makes no sense! I could stay up for nights and attempt to figure out why, but I wouldn't even waste my time. I'll just allow you guys to be insane and poison my main man Arnold with nonsense until it gets to be too much.

Another pairing that I see often would be Arnold and Rhonda. I can see them happening, but at the same time I can't. I'm pretty sure that Rhonda has a crush on Arnold, but I never said anything because I can't imagine what she'd do to me if it weren't true… or if it were true, for that matter.

Sometimes I think that Rhonda and Helga have power on the same levels; they really kind of do. Rhonda because she's rich and therefore every guy has to have a crush on her and every girl has to follow her, and Helga because she's a bully. It can be put simply.

Anyway, back to the topic. While I can see them possibly working out and maybe Arnold changing some of Rhonda's ways, I think that Rhonda would change Arnold too much. And in a bad way, too. She'd probably get Arnold to be obsessed about all her fashion froo froo stuff and ruin his optimism. Not that it doesn't need to be ruined sometimes, but she would turn my main man – and his house – into the worst of themselves.

Since we've already gotten into the topic of the fashion queen, Rhonda Lloyd, let's continue. There had been a story that I read where I myself was paired with Rhonda.

Let me ask this… why? I barely even like Rhonda, so why would I like-like her or love her? I can't see myself ever dating her. She would ruin my self-esteem. Heck, she'd probably ruin any guy's self-esteem with her unneeded comments. Yet, I bet that in high school there will be a lot of guys who will want to date her because she's "hot" or something.

I even heard of a pairing where she's with Curly. Are you people out of your minds? I have so much to say about this, but surely you wouldn't want your time wasted.

Enough about Rhonda, though. The only pairing with me in it that I can see happening is Phoebe and I. I have a few things to tell you about this pairing aside from that, though.

First of all, we aren't dating. I have no plans to ask her out and I'm pretty sure that she has no plans to ask me out. She just doesn't seem like that type of girl. Yes, I'd like to ask her out in the future. Maybe I can build up the courage this summer to ask her out before we go off to sixth-grade. Yeah. That'd be nice. And hopefully she'd say 'yes.'

Secondly, I know that it may look like we're going on a date whenever we're out together, but I promise that we're not. As I said earlier, we're both still single. Well, I'm still single. I'm pretty sure that no boy has asked her out this summer. Not any that I've heard of. Whenever we're out together, it's just as friends. I mean, it might look like a date to someone since we hold hands sometimes, but all it is a… friend date. Yeah. That.

Lastly, while I do have a crush on Phoebe, don't be so quick to ship us! I'm still unsure of whether or not my feelings for her are requited. I'm pretty sure that they are, but I won't be so quick to assume and neither should you.

Now let me move onto what else I disliked. Two things that I also disliked before I get into the things that I liked were my lack of roles and my role in some stories.

Some stories depict me as a player who would willingly cheat on any girl who crosses my path, even Phoebe. Let me tell you something, and get this into your heads… if I EVER got the chance to date Phoebe, I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON HER. The point of a relationship is trustworthiness and trust me, if Phoebe didn't trust me, I wouldn't ever come out of my room. I would be too upset.

Secondly, my roles really are disappointing. I mean, if you find that 80% of stories written about you and your town are about your best friend and the class bully, wouldn't you be extremely upset? I think that everyone who isn't Arnold, Helga, or Rhonda deserve a bit more screen time. I find it kind of unfair that I'm asked to state my opinion on something where I don't even appear all that much.

As for the things that I liked, let me tell you that I liked the stories where I was a believable character, or where we were all believable characters. There's this guy named Jose-Ramiro who made us believable characters, and I liked that.

I also enjoyed the essays that some of you wrote. Unfortunately, you guys can't post them here anymore since they have new unnecessary and stupid rules against non-stories. From my understanding it's why so many have quit.

Anyway, peeps, that's all that I really have to say in this letter. Oh, and tune in for my sister Timberly's letter next time. It had better be good because not only did I get in trouble with my mom for making Timberly cry because I told her that I wouldn't read to her, I stayed up all night reading to her. You know, your fanfiction stories. Worst experience of my life.

Your main man,

Gerald