Chapter Four-

"Bad news," Snape said after opening a letter a grey owl had dropped onto the kitchen table, "The Death Eaters are regrouping."

Lily raised her head from her book, "Told you they weren't gone," she muttered, "You'll be joining them?"

Snape opened another envelope that appeared to have been stuffed into the first one.

"Yes," he confirmed after a few seconds, "I will. This letter was sent to me a few days ago. Dumbledore intercepted it."

"He reads your mail?!" Lily asked disgustedly.

Snape looked surprised at her tone, "Of course," he replied, "It was sent by Lucius Malfoy."

Lily grimaced. Lucius Malfoy had been several years ahead of her in school and had had a reputation for cursing Gryffindors while their backs were turned.

"He turned Death Eater, then?" Lily asked heavily.

Snape gave a snort, "Of course. He was already one at school, mind you."

Lily frowned, "Really? And he never got caught?"

Snape shrugged, "Well, pretty much all the Slytherins knew, but we obviously weren't going to say anything. And the Ministry didn't develop a way to detect Death Eaters until several months ago."

It took all of Lily's willpower to not point out that it was she that developed the way to detect Death Eaters.

"Oi, Snape," she asked, "Why'd you turn anyway?"

He stiffened and glared at her, "None of your business," he said tightly.

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Any news about when I'm leaving this dump?" she asked, changing the subject.

"No," Snape replied, still sounding irritated, "Now bugger off."

Lily scowled and returned to her book.

James' P.O.V.

"We've got problems!" James called, striding into Dumbledore's office where the rest of the Order was convened, "Word around Knockturn Alley is that Voldemort is calling all his followers to him."

There were grumbles and James' parents looked accusingly at Dumbledore, angry that he had let him go to such a dangerous place. James clenched his teeth at this. Here they were, in the middle of a war and they were still mollycoddling him. He wasn't a child anymore. He was eighteen for Merlin's sake!

The grumbling continued and Professor McGonagall, whom James still had a hard time believing was involved in a secret organization, had to create a loud noise with her wand to silence them.

"Quiet!" she said fiercely.

The grumbling died down and all eyes turned to Albus Dumbledore, who looked quite grave indeed.

"So, he said seriously, "Lord Voldemort is not even attempting to hide his intent to regain power. This is both a blessing and a curse. The majority of the Wizarding World will soon know that he is not, indeed, dead. However, he is recovering his strength far sooner than I had anticipated."

"His followers must have found him," Alice Prewett said, a woman James remembered from Hogwarts. He noted with surprise that she was wearing an engagement ring.

"But what could those bastards do for him?" a scarred Auror that James only knew as 'Moody' barked out, "Being hit by Avada Kedavra, isn't a walk in the park, you know!"

James saw Dumbledore's mouth move, saying something to himself or perhaps Professor McGonagall, but he couldn't make it out.

The Order members all started arguing again and James clenched his fists, feeling annoyed and out of place. Sirius had just started working at Gringotts, Remus was off doing a job for Dumbledore, and Peter…

To tell the truth, Peter hadn't seemed particularly enthusiastic about joining the Order. He had come to the first two meetings with them, but after a while he started making excuses as to why he couldn't come.

"What a coward," Sirius had hissed contemptuously, but Remus had had an entirely different opinion.

"He's scared, Prongs," he had said seriously, "Peter and I…well, we're not like you and Sirius. We're not brave like you two."

"But you're here!" James had argued back, "You haven't run!"

But Remus had laughed, "No, but I don't have a family to protect. My parents are gone."

Remus' parents had moved to Canada shortly after they were attacked by Death Eaters a year and a half before. They had desperately wanted to take Remus with them, but Remus refused to go, and it was unlikely that the Ministry would've allowed a werewolf to leave the country in the first place.

"He still has his mother and siblings to worry about," Remus had continued, "I know they go after everyone's families, but let's face it. Mine are in Canada, yours are already in the Order, and Padfoot's don't give a damn about him." He had smiled sadly, "And I'm a werewolf, James. No one will give me a job but Dumbledore, so here I am."

So James had let go, and stopped bothering Peter about showing up to meetings anymore.

"James," his mother said coming to put her hand on his arm after the meeting ended, "James, I'm worried. You shouldn't be doing this. You…You should start looking at Quidditch teams, right? Didn't you get an offer from-"

"Forget it, Mum," he said softly, "There's a war going on, alright."

His father frowned, "James…"

But he turned away from them and as soon as he left the grounds, he Apparated to Sirius' place.

"Had another fight with your folks?" Sirius asked when he returned.

"Not really," James said, tired all of the sudden, "They just want me to quit the Order."

Sirius made a face.

"Yeah," James chuckled, "You know, even though they're in the middle of it, I feel like half the time they don't know what's going on."

Suddenly, he was on his feet and pacing.

"It's just that…that…I mean, there's a bloody war on and they think I should try out for…for Puddlemere United or something!" he raged.

"I know, mate," Sirius said, looking quite startled, "That's totally out of order, but you don't have to yell at me over it."

"Sorry," James grumbled, "But…really! It's just-"

Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled several bottles of Fire Whiskey and some plastic cups out from under his bed.

James grabbed a cup after he filled it and downed it in one gulp.

"Now we're talking," Sirius grinned.

James woke up, slightly disorientated and groaned. He rolled over onto his side, trying to shield his eyes from the light streaming in with the least possible effort.

"Padfoot," he said sluggishly, "I hate you."

Sirius let out a dry laugh, "Right about now, I hate me too."

"No, really," James groaned, using Sirius' dresser to pull himself into a standing position off the floor, "I really, really…"

He stumbled and covered his eyes, "Bollocks to that, Sirius, where are your hangover potions?"

Fifteen minutes later, the both sat at Sirius' kitchen table. James flipped through the real-estate section of the Muggle newspaper.

"Mate, are you sure you want to move out, though?" Sirius asked, buttering his toast, "I mean, they are your parents."

James opened his mouth angrily to point out that he shouldn't be talking, only to see the look on Sirius' face and shut it abruptly.

"Yeah, well," he muttered, adjusting his glasses and running a hand through his hair, "I…I want to be there, you know, just in case something happens again, but…"

"But?" Sirius pressed, looking worried.

James felt kind of bad now. He had forgotten how grateful Sirius had been when his parents had taken him in.

"I mean, they won't stop badgering me! I don't think they understand what's going on! They…they weren't conscious last summer, they weren't at the Battle of Hogsmeade, and they came in the last half an hour at Hogwarts. They don't know what it's like! And…it's strange, but I do! We do." He looked up at Sirius. "We've been there while they're in their little meetings, planning everything out, and I…" he sighed, "I know they worry, that's what parents do, but…I'm not a child anymore. I-I killed someone, Sirius."

Sirius' mouth fell open a little and he stared.

"You…what?"

James gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, "At Hogwarts, right…right before Lily got hit. I used Reducto and cut…" He bite his lip, but forced himself to continue, "And cut a Death Eater in half."

There was a long silence.

"Me too," Sirius whispered.

James jerked up and stared at him.

"When…when we split up…I set one on fire. He…he screamed and then…"

"We're such prats," James said after a while and closed his eyes.

"Yeah," Sirius said, and he couldn't tell whether he was laughing or crying, "Yeah."

"When they find out what it's really like?" Sirius asked carefully, after the moment had passed, "What then?"

James wiped his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"They're not fighters," he said, "They want to do the right thing, but they're afraid. The incident last summer, really shook them. Almost more than me, and that's when I first saw Lily…" he trailed off and looked out the window at the grey morning sky.

"They're going to leave, Padfoot," he said softly, "Just like Moony's. I can't say how long I've known it, but it's going to happen. I don't want them to," he clarified, "But at the same time, I'm glad. Glad they'll be out of the way."

"I know, mate."

"It's just…they're older than most people's parents, see? My dad's nearly sixty-five now, so…"

"You don't have to say anything more, James," Sirius said, "It's alright."

James smiled a little sadly at him.

"I'm scared," Sirius murmured, "It…things weren't like this a year and a half ago, you know? I mean, the Death Eaters were there, but…they seemed so far away. Even in my family," he said with a little disgust.

"It's funny how things change," James said and laughed because he sounded like and old man.

"Hey, I've a good a idea," Sirius said leaning forward in the same way he did when they were planning to dye Snape's hair or cause the Great Hall to rain Butterbeer, "We should have a get-together with Moony and Wormtail."

James raised an eyebrow, "Even Wormtail?"

"Yeah, well, I'm still pissed at the tosser," Sirius said flippantly, "But we may all die tomorrow, so what the hell."

James snorted, "Cheers, mate," he said, raising his mug of coffee mockingly.

Sirius swung at him and they were kids again, messing around on a warm morning in late June.

Lily's P.O.V.

"Come on then," Fenwick said coolly, "We're going to Hogwarts for a meeting."

Lily was tempted to ask why they had shut her up for almost two weeks, but bit her tongue. She glanced at Snape, but he had an unreadable look on his face.

"Alright," she said, getting up from her seat, "I don't have any baggage with me. Let's go."

Snape rose too, but Longbottom stopped him.

"You aren't coming with us," he said and handed him a letter, "Here are your orders."

Snape opened the letter and his face contracted for a split second. The it was gone.

"Alright," he said calmly, pocketing it.

"Good luck, Snape," Lily said turning her back on him.

He made a grunting sound in response.

They Apparated to right outside the gates of Hogwarts and within a few minutes Professor McGonagall walked down from the castle and opened the gates for them. She gave Lily a tight nod, but did not say anything to her. Lily didn't expect her to.

Lily felt a certain sense of elation as she breathed the warm night air in deeply. It was nice to finally be outside once again. She hadn't even been allowed one step outside Snape's house for the past days and it was torture for a person who had spent most of their life outside. She was unused to being cooped up all day. When she first started Hogwarts, she had almost had a panic attack from being inside so much.

"We'll leave you here," Fenwick said, and her guards turned and left.

McGonagall led the rest of the way up to Dumbledore's office in silence. Lily felt nostalgic as she passed by the many whispering paintings and the suits of armor.

"Go on up, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said once they reached the stone gargoyles that guarded Dumbledore's office.

Lily frowned, "There's not a meeting?"

The older woman shook her head and turned and walked away, heels clicking down the tile floor.

Lily sighed and turned to face the gargoyles.

"Let me in," she said stiffly, remembering her last experience with them.

"Password?" they said predictably.

"Do we really have to go through with this?" Lily asked, looking around for McGonagall in vain.

"No, not really," the one on the right said, "But it's the only amusement we have."

Lily glared.

"Alright, alright," the one on the left said and they leapt aside.

"It's been a while, Miss Evans," Dumbledore greeted her with.

Lily still felt slightly resentful over him dumping her with Snape but she was an adult now. As much as she hated to admit it, McKinnon had been right. She was too old to be impulsive, not when there was so much at stake.

"I trust Severus told you about the secret of Lord Voldemort's so-called immortality?"

Lily frowned, "How did you-"

Dumbledore laughed softly, "Miss Evans, I lent Severus those books right before your arrival to his dwelling with a specific purpose in mind. I did remember how much time you spent in the Hogwarts Library while you were a student here."

He spoke like it was so long ago. It was only July, after all.

"Why didn't you just tell me at the hospital?" Lily asked, frowning.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, "Well, lately you've had trouble believing anything I've said, so I decided it was best if you figured out Voldemort's secret on your own."

Lily felt herself blush, "Sir, I-"

He waved her apology away, "I've collected several memories that contain information about the man once called Tom Riddle."

Lily frowned, "'Tom Riddle'?" she repeated.

"Tom Riddle," Dumbledore continued, "was an exceptional student who attended Hogwarts more than thirty years ago. He was a half-blooded Slytherin who was very charismatic and almost from the first day he stepped within these walls, he gathered a group of loyal supporters around him. It was he who opened the Chamber of Secrets, and he who eventually became known as 'Lord Voldemort.'"

Lily stared, "Voldemort is a half-blood?!"

"Is everyone a half-blood nowadays?" she wondered thinking of Snape.

Dumbledore frowned, apparently not expecting her surprise, "Miss Evans, many so called 'purebloods' do have some Muggle blood in them, but are simply pretending otherwise." He looked vaguely surprised that she didn't know this. "It just isn't possible that there could be so many purebloods left."

"Oh," Lily said.

To tell the truth, she hadn't really thought about blood purity all that much. For some reason it seemed such a concrete issue at school and not subject to question. Either you were or you weren't. That was it.

"These memories, I believe, are very important. They might show what objects he might have made into Horcruxes."

Now Lily was listening.

"Because of Voldemort's imminent and speedy rise back to power, I won't show you all of them, but will briefly summarize them."

"Sir," Lily asked, fighting the impulse to raise her hand, "May I borrow some parchment and a quill? I'd like to take notes."

The look on Dumbledore's face was priceless and he began to laugh.

Several hours later, Fenwick and Longbottom returned and escorted Lily to a small flat in the middle of London.

"You'll be staying here when you're not at Order meetings," Longbottom told her.

"Don't worry," Fenwick said, seeing her face, "It's only until Voldemort shows himself again. Which, unfortunately, appears to be happening soon. We just want to get you out of the press."

"Alright, alright," she grumbled, "But none of my clothes or stuff is here."

It had been real annoying wearing the same thing everyday at Snape's.

"Your trunk wasn't sent over at Snape's?" Longbottom asked in surprise.

"No," Lily said, trying hard not to sound immature about it.

"We'll send it over then," Fenwick muttered and they turned to leave.

"Wait," Lily called after them, sick of being left behind, "What about food? Am I allowed to leave here? If I'm going to fight a war, I'm going to need my stuff. All my stuff. That includes the weapons at my place!"

"We'll send someone over to go with you," he replied without turning around, "Don't leave until they get here. Try not to use magic. Food is in the cabinets."

They Disapperated and Lily swore.

She turned on the lights of the flat and sat down on the mattress in the bedroom, one of the only pieces of furniture in the small flat.

"I hate being left behind," she whispered to the darkness.

"Evans…Oi, Evans! Wake up!"

Lily did. She sprang up from the underneath the sheets, brandishing her wand and knife. She was just about to curse the intruders when she realized that it was only Dorcus Meadows and a man that she vaguely recognized as something Fletcher. She thought he had been two years ahead of her in school.

She also became aware that she had taken off her shirt before going to sleep and was only in her bra.

There was an awkward silence, and Lily lowered her weapons. The scared looks on their faces eased away.

"Yes?" she asked in embarrassment, pulling on her shirt.

"Er…we've brought yer trunk," Fletcher said, not looking at her in the eyes. It wasn't because he was embarrassed, Lily realized. He was scared of her.

"Oh, thanks," she said and lifted it onto the bed with one arm.

They stared.

Muttering a few charms, she unlocked it and opened one of the secret compartments she installed. She pulled out her spare wand, several more knifes, and some potions.

"The rest of my stuff is at my place," she told them, "Did Dumbledore tell you to come with me there or something?"

Meadows shook her head. There was a scar right under her eye. She must have acquired it during the battle at Hogwarts.

"I think he's going to send either Black or Potter," she said, "Someone you know better."

Lily was surprised at Dumbledore's tact.

"We 'ave these for ye, too," Fletcher said, holding up a package that Lily hadn't noticed before. It looked like a stack of books.

"He said yeh were to read 'em, while yeh were 'ere."

Lily saw Meadows roll her eyes at his heavy Cockney accent. She frowned in disapproval. She had spoken like that once, too. It hadn't been until fourth year that she had gotten rid of the accent completely. It was the first thing people at Hogwarts had made fun of her for, she also remembered.

"Thank you," she murmured and took the package of books.

"Good luck, Evans," Meadows said, "You'll need it."

Lily smiled, "I know."

A/N: Dun, dun, dun! The battle's just beginning! Next chapter there will probably be some fighting, and I promise it'll be more interesting. This was sort of a filler. It had to be done for the next chapters to make sense, but kinda dull.

Anyway, sorry for the wait, I've had Writer's Block (for everything, really.) Many thanks to my new beta and please review!