Nick opened his eyes and saw the back of his lover's head. He remembered what happened earlier in the day when he came home and wondered why Greg reacted the way he did towards their new neighbor. Was he really that tired and grumpy or was it something more? He worried more about him since he started working, knowing he was in an environment that was not exactly the best one for a former drug addict to be in. Sure, the bar was upper class and frowned on drugs but nowadays there is always some, somewhere. He knew that, he was a narcotics officer. Sometimes the business man was the most frequent of users. They hid it the best until you heard about them dying from an overdose. Nick remembered when Greg came close to dying from one. He prayed he never had to see that happen to him again.

He reached out and put his arm around Greg. He felt Greg move into his touch with no sound. Had he been awake all this time, he wondered?

"You awake?" he asked. Greg turned over and looked sleepy. "I am now," he smiled a little. Nick studied him closer and noticed dark circles under his eyes.

"Did you sleep at all?" He asked him. Greg opened his eyes wider. "Yes, I did sleep some. Why?" he asked in return.

"You just look tired."

"Well I just woke up. You look tired too, did you sleep?" Greg asked back, trying to cover his own lack of sleep by making Nick look at himself.

"Yes, I slept great," Nick replied.

"Well, then I am not the only one who might not look like they slept well but they did," he told him. He was hoping to just have Nick let him be about sleeping.

"Okay fine. So since we are talking, what is up with you and your rudeness to Joe?" Nick asked him, not wanting Greg to forget his actions earlier.

Greg sighed. He really didn't feel like explaining himself to Nick but he knew he would have to say something. "Look, I said I was tired and yes, I was grumpy. I probably was rude and am sorry."

"Well you should be apologizing to him and not me," Nick said to him. Greg rolled his eyes. "Seriously? We just met the guy and you want me to apologize to him? What is up with that? Is he like your new best friend? Should I warn Jack that he has competition?"

Nick's eyes darkened. He knew that Jack, Nick's work partner, and Greg never have gotten on good terms but he was being ridiculous now. He sat up in bed and stared down at Greg. "What is your deal? Is work that bad that it's making you an ass again?"

Greg didn't like Nick staring down at him so he got up out of bed and stood so he gazed down at him. "I already told you it's not my dream job, but I am doing it to help with the bills. I know I still owe you a ton of money for what you paid to get me in that clinic. I know we are struggling with the bills and you try to deny it but I see your frustration, so I am working a job that pays minimal just to help a little. Give me a break, will you?" He then stormed off out of the bedroom.

Nick ran a hand through his hair with frustration. He threw back the sheets and jumped out of bed to go after Greg. He stood in front of the patio door, looking outside at the early evening sky. He walked over to him slowly and wrapped his arms around his waist. Greg pushed his arms off him though and stood off. "Don't coddle me," he scolded.

Nick grunted in anger and grabbed Greg by the arm and turned him around. "Look, I never asked you to help pay the bills. If you rather not work, then don't. I'll just pick up some extra shifts."

"Argh, see that is what I mean. You might not be asking me but by you saying you have to work extra shifts is pretty much saying I am a slacker and not helping out. So forget it, I will keep my job and just deal with it. It's not that bad. I just had a bad night was all," Greg said exasperated.

Nick just looked at him. "What is happening to us? Is it like before?"

Greg was confused. "What do you mean, like before?"

"Am I going to lose you because you are so unhappy again?" his eyes serious. Greg closed his eyes a moment and took a deep breath. He opened them back up and took Nick's hands. "Look, I'm just having a bad week or two. I'm happy with you, I am. I guess it's me I am unhappy with."

Nick clutched his hands tighter. "Perhaps you need to see Dr. Fry again. When was the last time you saw him?"

Greg sighed. "Over a month, I guess." Nick scowled at him. "Greg, you need to talk to him if you are feeling this way, you know it."

Greg finally nodded. "Okay I will schedule an appointment."

"Good, that will make me feel better. Now how about we just make some dinner and forget all this other crap for now," Nick smiled, wanting to leave it all behind for now.

!

A couple hours later there was a knock at their door. They were catching up on watching some TV shows before heading to work. Nick got up to get the door. "Hey Jack, why are you here?" Nick said as his tall, blond haired partner came in.

"I thought I would pick you up tonight. Boss wants us to join a stakeout of a known drug house," he told Nick. He looked at Greg. "Hey Greg," he said to him. They were on friendlier terms but Greg still felt like Jack disliked him because of his past drug use.

"Hey," he just responded and went back to watching the program. Whenever Jack was around and talking about work with Nick, he felt like he was still an addict because they seemed to talk in code around him. They never said where they were going or what kinds of drugs were involved probably fearful he might hear and take off to get some. Maybe it was all in his mind but nonetheless it was how he felt when the two of them talked work.

They were talking off to the side for a couple minutes before Nick came over to Greg. "Look I have to leave early. So I will see you in the morning when we are both back from work." He leaned down and gave Greg a quick kiss on the lips. "Don't stress about work. Just take it easy," he told him. Greg just nodded and told him to be safe.

He watched Jack take Nick with him and out the door. He sat back and turned off the TV. He could never admit it to Nick that he was still incredibly jealous of him being able to work in a job he loved. Greg doubted he would never have that experience again.

He decided sitting around pouting was not getting him anywhere so he decided to get ready for work. He put on a blue button down shirt and black pants. He grabbed his jacket on the way out.

As he walked out the door, he saw their new neighbor Joe coming out of his garage. He decided he should probably say something to him to make Nick happy. He whistled over to get his attention. Joe turned and saw Greg walking towards him.

Greg noticed Joe stood rather firmly as he came over. "Hey, I just wanted to apologize for being a jerk earlier today. I was in a mood from work. I promise I'm not always that way." Greg said to him.

Joe seemed to gaze at him a moment before saying anything. "Yeah well I guess we can all have bad days. Apology accepted." He reached out his hand to shake Greg's. Greg smiled at him for accepting it.

"So did Nick already leave for work?" Joe asked. Greg nodded. "Yeah his partner picked him up earlier. They have a stakeout. Uh, I am assuming he told you what he did for a living." Greg suddenly said.

"Yes, he's a detective on LVPD. You must worry about him a lot, having a job like that," Joe said to him. Greg thought about it a moment and realized he really didn't ever worry much about him. He was always too wrapped up in his own issues to think about anything happening to Nick.

"Yeah I guess," he lied, realizing how self-absorbed he could be at times.

"I know I would freak out if he was my boyfriend, working a dangerous job like that," Joe said. Greg thought about it and realized something he had not before. Nick truly was in a more dangerous job but all he could think about was years ago when they were both CSI's and he was buried alive. He actually shivered at the memory.

"Yeah, there has been a moment in the past that was bad but he got through it," Greg said distantly, remembering how Nick had sort of distanced himself from Greg after that incident until Greg forced him to let him in.

"Well it was nice talking but I got to go. Fourth night on the job, don't want to come in late," Joe said to him.

"Oh you work evenings too?" Greg asked.

"Yes, mostly with a mid-shift on the weekend. I have weekdays off. Have a goodnight and say Hi to Nick for me if I don't see you all in the morning."

Greg smiled. "Will do." He watched him get into his Mercedes and drive off. Greg frowned as he got into his old beat up Volkswagen that he still drove. They definitely could not afford a new car with their money situation. He really wished he could make better money. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the business card of Shane Barnes and looked at it a moment. He thought of the money he made when he was selling himself but he blew most of it on drugs, but some of his clients paid well. Rocco of course took a cut of it but it was better than he made now. He put the card in his glove compartment as he shook his head of the thought even coming up. He would lose Nick if he did anything as stupid as that again.

At work Greg was luckily having a fairly uneventful night. None of his former clients came in and tried to get his services. He had a few guys flirt with him as he served drinks as was normal. He didn't mind that seeing as it was harmless.

He was helping Terry close up the bar when his cell phone went off. He looked and saw it was Jack, Nick's partner calling him. He thought that was odd, as he never called him. He walked off to the side to take the call away from Terry's ears.

"Hello?"

"Greg, its Jack. Nick's been shot. They are taking him to the ER at Desert Palms. When he was still conscious he asked me to call you."

Greg couldn't think for a moment. All he heard was Nick was shot. He thought of losing another loved one and knew he could not handle it.

"Greg, are you there?" He heard Jack ask again. "Yeah, yeah…where was he shot?" He had to know.

"In the chest, we didn't have vests on because we didn't expect anything to happen. I'm going to the hospital once I finish filling in the boss here. I'll see you there?" Jack asked him. He was not sure how Greg would handle the news, he only hoped he would not freak out and do something crazy.

"Okay, yeah okay, I will leave now," Greg said to him, not really completely knowing what he was saying. He just kept thinking Nick was shot in the chest and he could die. He disconnected the call and walked back into the back room where Terry was.

Terry looked at him, he looked pale. "Hey, everything okay?"

Greg shook his head. "No, Nick's been shot and is on the way to the ER. I…I need to go," he said, seemingly lost.

Terry waved him off. "Go, go be with him. I can finish closing up here. Just be sure to call me or Chad and let us know how he is. I know you are off the next two days so that you will have time to spend with him."

Greg just nodded and took off out the door.

He arrived at the hospital ER twenty minutes later. He rushed in and asked about Nick being brought in.

"Are you family?" the nurse asked him. "I'm…I'm his partner, Greg Sanders. Yes, I am family," Greg responded rapidly.

"I'm sorry but your name is not listed as his next of kin. I can't give you any information," the nurse told him.

"I live with him. We love each other! I don't care if he doesn't have me listed as next of kin. I want to know how he is!" Greg demanded as tears threatened.

"I'm sorry Sir. I can't give you any information on Detective Stokes," the nurse said to him.

"This is fucking ridiculous. No one knows him better than I do and I want to know if he is going to live," Greg shouted at her. He was so scared of losing another loved one that he didn't care if he made a scene.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun around and saw Jack. "Look, Nurse Richards, I am Detective Spires. Mr. Sanders here is telling the truth. Why don't you just tell us how Detective Stokes is doing," Jack told her.

The nurse sighed at seeing his badge. "He's still in surgery so honestly I don't know what his condition is at the moment. Now if you both would just have a seat, when he comes out of surgery you will be the first to know."

"Okay, thank you," Jack said to her. He then turned his attention to Greg who looked like a nervous wreck. He took pity upon him, knowing he really didn't have anyone other than Nick left in his life and it had to be tough.

With his hand still on his shoulder, he guided Greg to a row of seats in the waiting room. Greg seemed to be in some kind of a daze. Jack hoped it was just shock and not drugs. "You okay there, Greg?" Jack asked him.

Greg stared out towards the doors to the innards of the hospital. "It's so weird, I was talking to our new neighbor before work today and he asked if I ever worried about anything happening to Nick and I said I really didn't. I guess I've been absorbed in my own shit for so long, I have forgotten how dangerous of a job he has." Greg turned to Jack. "What happened?"

Jack could see that Greg was anguished and he now assumed he was in some shock. "Nothing was supposed to happen. We didn't have our vests on because we didn't expect anything. We were sitting outside this drug house, waiting to see if anyone came or went from the house. Once we saw something, we were going to call for backup. The thing is we were there for hours and we saw no one come or go when suddenly we heard a scream. Well, Nick being Nick said we had to go check it out. So he gets out of the car before I even get a chance to say something and runs up to the house. I run out and next thing I know I hear shots being fired and see Nick go down outside the front door. I rush up, firing at whoever was shooting and hit the person. It was some female Meth head who had been holed up in the house and must have seen us waiting outside."

"Anyway, I rushed to Nick and he was bleeding out. He was still conscious. I called it in and sat with him, putting pressure on his wound until the paramedics showed up. He told me to call you." Jack stopped a moment. Greg was wiping away tears that were falling. He never was a big fan of the ex-drug addict but he knew he loved Nick and Nick loved him. Nick said something more and he felt weird passing it on but seeing Greg right now he knew he had to.

"Hey, he also told me to tell you that he loved you," Jack said to him.

Greg buried his face in his hands. "I can't lose another one, I just can't." Jack felt really bad for him. He knew he had to say something to him.

"Look, Nick's a tough guy. He's been through bad stuff before and made it through it. He'll make it through his too."

Greg nodded as he pulled his hands away from his face. He gazed down at the carpeting. "Yeah he is tough. I mean he's a guy who survived being buried alive and being eaten alive by ants. I would have never lasted like he did through that." Jack didn't know Nick at the time but he knew exactly what Greg was talking about. He had heard about it on the news at first when it happened and then when Nick became his partner, it came up in conversation once. He remembered Nick telling him how important Greg had been to him at that time. Nick had given him the credit for pulling him through it.

"Yes, he's told me about that. He also told me it was you who helped him get through his recovery," Jack said to him. Greg snorted. "Yeah right, he pushed me away from him at first but I kept at him. He can be damn stubborn when he wants to be," Greg told him.

"I believe he says the same about you," Jack smirked.

Greg's expression hardly changed. "Yeah he probably does." Greg stood up and started pacing. "How long has he been in there? What's going on?" he asked at he looked towards the doors still.

Jack shrugged. "Look it's not really been that long. It's only been about an hour or so. Surgeries can take a while," Jack was trying to ease his mind but know he was not being that successful. He was worried too. Nick had been working with him for several years now. He cared about the guy in his own way too. He was not the best at dealing with these types of situations.

"Det. Spires, can we talk?" He looked up and saw his Captain standing there. "Yeah, just a moment," he said and looked at Greg who had stopped pacing. "I'll be back," he said to him. Greg just nodded as Jack left him alone in the waiting room.

He decided to sit back down. He looked around the room at people waiting on word about their own loved ones probably in surgery too. He was the only one sitting alone. He felt that same loneliness before after hearing his parents had died.

He wrapped his arms around himself and curled up in the chair. He was all alone again and unfortunately his first thought was how much he wanted to shoot up right that moment.

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