Ranma and The Doctor
Chapter 4
Of Spells and Curses
A few seconds earlier
The TARDIS
"Wow…"
Ranma looked appraisingly at the interior of the TARDIS, looking at the walls in particular.
"So, it's bigger on the inside, huh?"
"That's right…" The Doctor was mildly surprised at not having to calm someone at seeing the impossible dimensions. He smiled inwardly at being refreshed at this new perspective. "Just a little benefit of flying this thing."
The redhead strode up to the central pillar, hands behind her head.
"So, this must be where you control it, right?"
She tentatively poked at a large pumpy handle, and was interested in how the Doctor did nothing to stop her.
"Does this thing actually work?"
The Doctor merely strode up to her and nodded. "Yes, but you need to do..." He laid his hand on the air pump. "THIS!"
The solitary pump made the TARDIS lurch about, as the column began screeching and rising up and down. Ranma, used to sudden movements, rapidly grabbed a nearby handrail and held on tight.
A monitor on the TARDIS flashed up red, and the Doctor looked perturbed. Whilst the floor skewed to a sharp angle, he clambered up the metal grates and stared at the monitor.
"This is odd..." He began typing away at the battered keyboard, as Ranma made his way to the Doctor's side.
"What's wrong?" She asked, only taking one look at the multitude of lines of code, cellular structure and text before getting dizzy.
"That." He replied, flicking a finger to another monitor just beside his.
Ranma checked it out and sweatdropped at the large words.
"Anomaly Detected?"
"Yes, that's right; the TARDIS has picked up something weird when we left from your home..." Pulling a large handbrake, the moving landscape stopped, and Ranma looked around cautiously.
"What happened?"
The Doctor stared at the screen, no longer frowning, but still cautious. "We stopped. If you open the door, you'll be in the middle of the Third World War."
"Th-Third World War?!" Ranma's eyes lit up and she bolted for the door, only for the Doctor to speak in a warning tone.
"Don't go outside. My TARDIS can withstand anything, but you're only human. There's not much you can do against whole battalions of Nazi vampires and Vatican Special forces..."
Ranma's hands were itching to open, but the Doctor was right. One vampire might be easy enough, but hundreds might take time.
"I'm not sure; I bet I could be a good vampire hunter." Ranma smirked.
The Doctor returned the smirk. "I bet you could, but now's not the time, nor the place to test that."
He pulled another handle, and the TARDIS began its familiar shaking, as the breathing lung in the centre expanded and contracted. Ranma bolted for the centre parts again and let the TARDIS ride him about.
The Doctor frowned again at seeing the Anomaly notice flare up once again, but this time shook his head.
"I don't get it, the old bird is getting on a bit, but I've never seen this sort of signature before..."
He grabbed a small wheel and began turning it anti-clockwise, while also twisting some switches on the panel. Ringing a typical bicycle bell three times, he hit the clutch and the TARDIS became silent and still once more.
Ranma, by now, had grown used to the sudden mood changes of the Doctor, and that of the TARDIS. As she dusted herself off, some loose panel from during the transportation had peeled off and released some into the air, she pointed at the door.
"So, what's out there? Where, and when, are we?" Her excitement wasn't well hidden, and her need for adventure was growing.
The Doctor meanwhile was running some tests, still tapping at the keys and activating some scans, before acknowledging her.
"Sorry about that, busy times and all that..." He checked out the time and location from the screen, and pursed his lips slightly.
"Ah yes... This is the year 3000AD, not too far from where you live, somewhere else in Tokyo."
Ranma sensed his apprehension and wanted to know more. "And...? What's so special about that place to make you nervous?"
The Doctor's beaming smile came back. "Nothing at all! This is the one thousandth anniversary of the Silver Millennium, and that of her queen, Serenity."
Ranma scratched her head, as it made it about four years or so ahead of her current time. "Okay... But I'm sure we don't develop some super technology, how does she live for so long?"
The Doctor waved her off. "Nothing technological, pure magic! After World War III, the devastation and seas rose slightly, but not enough to ruin the world. Someone in Tokyo released some magical ice barrier that still protects the nation of Japan from any and all disasters. She alone saved countless lives from global warming, wars, earthquakes, everything. She and her guardians were granted eternal youth."
"Sounds great!" Ranma jumped at the doorknob. "Let's go meet them!"
"Perhaps another day..." The Doctor put on a wry grin. "Setsuna gets real mad with me; I just wish I knew why!"
"Oh..." Ranma seemed down heartened, and let go of the release catch. "So, where do we get off then?"
The Doctor saw the expression on her and changed his own to a kinder one. "Where do you want to go, any place, any time, however..." He held up one finger. "One exception, don't try to change your past, it can't be done, and if you do try, let's just say that you'll destroy the universe." His smile didn't change, which made Ranma gulp loudly. "So, any ideas on where you want to go?"
"Well..." She picked at her nape, casually flipping some red hair out of the way. "I kinda have a curse and it's been permanent for some time now..."
"Oh?" He raised his eyebrow, but moved in, quite interested. "Do tell, I love curses!"
"Nah... you wouldn't like this one..." She remarked offhandedly. "So, I was wondering, could we go see some sort of expert, to get it cured?"
"Expert curse breakers..."
He mumbled to himself. He began pacing backwards and forwards, eventually moving around the pillar, occasionally turning to go both clockwise and anti-clockwise.
"Curses based on humanoid life forms..." He paused in his musings. "How did you get it?"
"I... uh... fell into a pond... From then on it was a part of me. I could get back to normal with hot water, but cold water would change me back."
"Ah..." His eyes widened in understanding, then paced faster and faster, his speech even increasing in speed. "Liquid based curse... Temperature extremity limits. Expert curse breaker."
He stopped moving.
"THAT'S IT!"
He slammed his palm down on the gear stick and the TARDIS shifted faster than ever before. Even Ranma had trouble holding on; she couldn't even sense his mood altering to such an extent that she flew for a second before latching on to something.
Meanwhile, the Doctor moved with purpose to certain instruments at the desk. Kicking a cupboard beneath them, a series of sound emitted, and made him smile. Using the air pump, he sent in six brief pushes, and began to rotate two wheels at the same time. His cursory glance at the 'Anomaly Detected' image didn't affect his motions.
"Ranma!" He didn't look at her, clinging on for dear life on one of the metal support beams, halfway up the room. "Make yourself useful, come down here and press that big red button, just don't touch the mauve one."
As her face screwed into disbelief, she let go and hopped over to the panels, and saw a large mauve button, but ignored it, seeing as it didn't look red. Beneath it were two unlabelled red buttons with no difference between them.
"Umm, Doctor, there's two red buttons here."
"Press the cardinal one, NOT the crimson!"
Her brow screwed up in confusion, and indicated the one on the left. "Th-This one?"
"Yes!" He said, without looking across once, his voice was very agitated. "Press it now!"
Getting very scared by now, Ranma pushed it with her index finger, and the TARDIS tumbled faster for a few more seconds, before stopping suddenly.
The Doctor looked up in shock, and moved slowly to the console. "Which one did you press?"
Ranma paled. "Umm..."
He moved to the doorway and held his hand on the door. "If you pressed the wrong one, we would end up in a very bad place indeed..."
The sliding doors parted and light streamed in. His yell was heard inside the TARDIS.
"Doctor!" Ranma ran out fast, but held her hands over her face from the light. "Th-This is..."
"Excellent, I knew you'd press the right one, or was it the left?" Chuckling inanely at Ranma's gawping face, he continued. "So, here we are, Sector Omikron-Orange/#16$7, date, roughly 527,713AD, around three point two galaxy jumps away."
Ranma's eyed swirled slightly at the information overload. "Okay, can you just give me the name of the planet?"
"Sure, this is Katadesmoi, the planet of curses."
"Why's it so bright?" Ranma's pupils were miniscule.
The Doctor jerked his head upwards to the luminous green sky. "There're two suns around this planet. So one full day on this planet is roughly 35 hours in Earth time, night is only 4 hours long."
"Heh, I'd hate to be working late here..." She recalled the problem with the TARDIS. "What about that Anomaly?"
The Doctor shrugged. "Dunno, I'll just leave it be, it might be due to your energy, I've never seen anything like it before, so the TARDIS might have problems dealing with it for now." He clapped his hands together and shared her smile, walking forwards. "Now, we'd better find out where that curse breaker is..."
Ranma wandered off on the alien planet, and was surprised to find that the TARDIS had materialised in the centre of a market square. However it seemed to be deserted, stall abandoned and even some goods lefts behind.
"I wonder why everyone ran off..." Ranma muttered.
"I scared them away." His thumb was over his shoulder at the TARDIS. "You see, the thing about a planet exclusively being the source for millions of curses around the universe, is that the residents here are a little jittery about attacks, or people trying to curse them back." He shrugged. "Yeah, my TARDIS randomly popping up in the middle of your square isn't something that happens everyday, but even things going missing from their home are seen as a curse."
They turned several corners in the tight and narrow streets and soon met up with some people that even Ranma would call strange. "Ah, finally!" The Doctor held out a hand and waved at them, talking louder. "Hi there, could you help us for a moment?"
The short people were humanoid, but only reached to around mid level on the Doctor, and were a full head shorter than Ranma. Their clothes were similar to Earth style, but with richer materials, and more suited to their stature. Their skin was green and seemed fairly smooth, given that they were young. They were all bald, had normal mouths, and instead of ears had slits in the side of their heads. They also had no visible nose and their three eyes were on stalks from the conventional position. Each stalk was moving above the head, and could move independently. They peered at both Ranma and her companion.
He raised his hands. "Be at peace, we do not come for you. We curse you not." They relaxed remarkably at hearing these words, and Ranma quickly tried to memorise his words.
The one on the left spoke first. "How may we help you, honoured traveller?"
Ranma smirked at hearing the same tone from the Jusenkyo guide, then realised that she understood them perfectly. She whispered to the side. "How come they speak Japanese perfectly?"
He whispered back fast. "The TARDIS translates for you; did you really think I knew Japanese fully?"
As Ranma stood there in shock, he carried on with his question. "Yes, I was hoping you could direct me to the current Chief Curse Purveyor."
They both looked at each other, surprised he knew of the correct term. The right one spoke this time. "Yes, you'll find it towards the presidential sector, in the third tier of the city. Her home is well known."
"Thank you." the Doctor held up one hand parallel and hovering near his left ear. "May your life be curse free."
They both did the same, but with their right ears. "Traveller, go with our blessings."
As they parted ways, the Doctor made his way through the small streets, as Ranma jogged up beside him.
"So, what were all those weird words about?"
"Well, remember what I told you about the fear of curses?" Ranma nodded. "Thanks to that, the Katasdemians are also very superstitious, and their leader years ago blessed safe phrases to say to each other. When you say them on this planet, it's physically and mentally impossible for you to put a curse on them. The one I used is the most respectful of all."
"That sounds useful..." Ranma noted, wishing it was somehow true for his own home. As they passed by small shops and houses, she saw that the buildings were becoming taller and less whiter. "You know where we're going?"
"Course I do, I've been here before."
Ten minutes ago
Several miles away on Katasdemoi
Two figures stood alone on the outskirts of the capital, staring at the white outer circle, and the inner black part.
"Where am I?" Ryoga moaned; the green sky and two suns made him worry.
"I demand you return my pig-tailed girl at once!" Kuno held the bokken at Ryoga's throat.
"Great, not you as well..."
Kuno's eyes were moving from one spot to another, gauging his surroundings. "This illusion is getting you nowhere. First you show me London in flames, then a glorious crystal palace, now this?!"
Ryoga sniffed the air, and felt a little uneasy. "There's magic here... Lots of strange ki too..." He took full notice of Kuno for the first time. "Look, I don't know where we are, this isn't an illusion. I'm going to try to find a way out of here..."
The kendo master approached him, both hands on his bokken. "You will answer my questions!"
"I told you before, when I knocked out that person who jumped you, cosplaying as a Nazi; the only person who would know is that man he - she - went with."
"Hmph." The bokken slid away into the sash around his waist. "Very well, I shall search for her. I do not require your assistance in this matter."
"Fine by me..." Ryoga turned away and moved one step, before realising that he too wanted to find Ranma. "Umm... Now that you mention it, we should stick together. Who know what we'll find here?"
Kuno gave him a calculating stare, before accepting. "If we are indeed on another planet, then I may need someone else to place in the line of fire."
"What the hell?!" Ryoga put his fist up, one hand circling above his shoulder to grab his umbrella. "I'm not cannon fodder. You are!"
"We shall see about that..." Kuno pulled out his bokken, and charged.
Unbeknownst to them, easily visible from where they were standing, a glowing ball of yellow electricity materialised from the sky, and opened out into a portal. A wide missile flew out and rocketed into the land below, a hundred metres away from them. The portal shut rapidly, leaving no trace of it.
Meanwhile
"What was that, sounded like an explosion...?" Ranma commented.
"You're right... But, it's none of our business right now. We're nearly there..."!
A peddler came out from the shadows. "Curse preventers, dream amplifiers, nightmares begone!"
"Not interested, thanks..." Ranma blanked her face. This was fifth person trying to sell them fake necklaces and trinkets that could apparently stop anything.
"True magical items can't be found like this, you need to earn them somehow, and only the strong and famous areas have anything of value." The Doctor said. "Maybe we can find something that will break your curse."
"I sure hope so..." Ranma grinned, then looked at him. "Hey, Doctor, do you know of any strong people, maybe some you met..."
"Strong, huh?" He thought for a few seconds. "Yeah, definitely. I've met loads of people and aliens who would be a good fight. Some are just too dangerous though..." His eyes darkened. "Those ones you will hopefully never meet in your life. They'll kill you the moment they see you."
Ranma swallowed and began sweating, but her heartbeat accelerated. "Heh, they sound like a challenge to me..."
The Doctor didn't reply to that, and stared up at the huge black building in front of him. It seemed to be partly based on a haunted house and a castle. It wasn't perfectly straight; there were twists, towers, fortifications, and lots of vines crawling up. Runes, talismans and multiple symbols were engraved in the surface of the stone walls. The entrance was also decorated at such, and had two large guards there, easily three metres tall, completely covered in black medieval armour.
The Doctor walked up to them. "I am here to see The Chief Curse Purveyor."
They removed their broadswords and held them at the Doctor. They spoke in tandem, every second word being said by the other.
"State. Your. Reasons. For. This. Meeting."
Unperturbed, the Doctor looked at both of them. "Divination and curse breaking." At seeing them pause at such a mundane request, he added something. "My name is the Doctor."
They immediately pulled back their blades, sheathing them faster than Ranma could see.
"Enter. Now. Access. To. Ascendance. Level. Granted. Welcome. Doctor. And. Guest."
"Hey! My name's Ranma! I'm no guest!" She put up her fists, seeing such power in front of her made the redhead quiver with unbridled exhilaration.
"Guest. Identified. As. Ranma."
The doors opened automatically and the Doctor pulled Ranma in by her sleeve.
"Trust me on this one Ranma; you don't want to fight them, unless you want the entire building of drones to come after you."
She looked back at them strangely. "I can't tell how strong they are. Their ki is all twisted, but I know they'd be a good fight…"
"Well, they're the bodyguards for the CCP." They stepped onto a circular white space in the centre of the dark room, laden with runes, wards and banners. "They were genetically engineered. Living and breathing machines, built only to protect selected people from birth."
The white disc rose higher and faster into the tower, Ranma and the Doctor didn't feel any breeze.
"So, they're just guards huh?" She seemed disappointed. "What can they do then? Is it just those swords?"
"Well, yeah, getting cut by one of those is pretty much a death sentence." Two seconds later they reached their destination. "Good, we're here…"
They walked off to the ornate door, built with a mixture of magic and technology; wards, runes, symbols and carvings meshed intricately with gears, locks, pistons, and security systems.
The Doctor and Ranma waited outside for a few more seconds, before a monitor blinked on, as well as several floating devices; three were technology based cameras, turrets and biological scanners; the other three were magical, organic life forms flapping their wings observing them with eyes, poison darts armed and sometimes coming in to bite them to sample their DNA.
Ranma flinched at the magical bites, and grew angrier at the incessant jabbering of the vampire bat-like things, and her ki expanded. The Doctor laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Relax, they're not going to hurt you. This is all part of that superstition; people can copy appearances, so they are checking to see if you really are what you appear to be."
Her ki dissipated, but her mood didn't evaporate quickly. "Fine, but they'd better finish soon, or else someone is going else is going to see some things floating above their head, in the shape of stars."
The Doctor chuckled, and stood patiently. Two of the devices hovered above one pocket and whined at a high pitch. Carefully, he removed his sonic screwdriver and held it in his palm. The organic hand grabbed it fast.
"I'll want that back later; I'm leaving it with you only for safe-keeping."
The door hissed, and figures glowed and began activating gears, latches were heard to be moving, steam poured out the edges, and heart pumping echoed through the floor as bones retracted from the door frame. Unwrapping themselves, the seals pulled the door apart to reveal a room filled to the ceiling with books.
A large desk had stack of papers on top, with a crystal ball was propped up on a claw on the left side. In the corner was a large basin of sorts, with something silvery swirling about continuously, with the odd image appearing in the surface.
"Well, Doctor, I'm surprised, it's rare to meet someone like you twice in one's lifetime…"
He looked up to see a person sitting upside down on the ceiling, reading a dusty old tome. He beamed his smile at seeing the familiar face.
"Well, well, if it isn't old Mrs Althaea!" A cane hit his head sharply. "Ouch, what was that for?!" He seemed put out by it, but his slight pain was muted by his smile, as if this was a game they played often.The short, wrinkled, green woman landed on the floor softly, walking with her cane. "It's only 'Miss' these days, my husband died a few centuries ago, and I warned you before about calling me old!"
Her three eyes stared deeply at the Doctor, before Ranma casually pointed at her. "How come your eyes aren't like the others we saw?"
Althaea turned to look at the newcomer, at the subtle rudeness in her remark. Indeed, they were in her face, two of them on normal levels, the third eye being between the two, and slightly above them to rest in the mid-forehead.
"Only those who've lived a long life have their eyes return to the body. With age comes the wisdom to look straight ahead, without having to worry about what is around us at all times."
She walked over to Ranma and looked at her up and down. "Yes, I can sense a curse without even needing to concentrate. Come sit, child, and we'll delve deeper."
Ranma smiled graciously, and for once he met someone familiar, yet different. "Guess I should speak to that old crone better when I see her next time."
Ranma sat, and Althaea began reciting words and forming glyphs in the air, her fingers leaving glowing marks. "Please sit still, this will take time."
Ranma sighed, and waited. She had all the time in the universe.
Meanwhile
Elsewhere in the capital
The smoking missile had not been disturbed since its landing in a quiet residential district in the white sector; some people had come out of their houses and looked at it from behind their shutters and using their doors as shields.
Two children, excited at seeing something new and too young to be afraid of superstition, bundled out of one of the houses and ran out to greet the newcomer. The parents, too slow to catch them, and too afraid to pull them back inside, stayed at the door to watch, calling for them to come back.
Their smiling faces only widened when they approached the missile, never seeing such a smooth piece of metal before. The side hissed open, and smoke poured out, as well as heat. One of them backed away, but the girl didn't care and peered closer.
Something glowed from inside the missile, and a strange transparent slimy substance grabbed her face. As she tried to pull it off before she choked, it dragged her inside, and the sounds of bones cracking sent chills through everyone.
When the thing emerged from the hatch, the people all screamed their last.
---
Author's Notes
Damn, it's a shame the Face of Boe already gave his last words; I knew them before the episode appeared. Still, I know what he was talking about, and you'll see when we finally move back to Earth (which will be in '2 episodes' according to my script here).
We're not quite finished with this planet, the tale will end next chapter, and we'll be visiting New Earth, (with a different adventure, not a copy of the car episode), and then we return to (old) Earth, where my surprise will hit you.
- J