double1squad: Sorry for not updating sooner, I had two trips in a row and no access to a computer during one of them while the other one did have a computer, but it didn't have my halfway completed chapter on it.

Naruto: double1squad is telling the truth, this time at least.

double1squad: Thank you, I think.

Naruto: I suppose you're going to force me to do the disclaimer

double1squad: *Nods*

Naruto: Fine, double1squad does not own Naruto, I will not say anything else because I have a feeling that she would be mad at me

double1squad: I'll ignore that last comment

"I still can't believe that you got beat up by a couple of fangirls!" Anko started laughing.

Ibiki glared, "It's been a month; so will you let it go?"

She grinned at him, "Of course not! You should know me better than that."

"I know," Ibiki admitted. "But it doesn't mean I won't complain."

Naruto pulled on Ibiki's coat, "Will you two please not argue while we are interrogating prisoners? It kind of ruins the atmosphere."

Both of the chunin scowled but followed the one year old blonde's advice.

They were in the middle of interrogating a prisoner that was obtained from an Anbu mission. At first the man laughed at the fact that Naruto was helping with the interrogation, but it quickly became apparent that the container was no novice in the art of torture. In fact, Anko and Ibiki only needed to be there to make sure that nothing went wrong, plus they provided some intimidation that Naruto lacked.

"Where is the attack supposed to take place?" Naruto asked as he slowly ran a kunai up the paralyzed shinobi's arm.

The man watched as it came closer and closer to his neck. The blond wasn't even shaken at the sight of blood running down the already cut up skin.

"I don't know!" the man suddenly screamed. "They were just planning on it; I was sent to scout ahead to find a good place to attack!"

Naruto smirked, "He's good for now. Anko, Ibiki, you can put him back in his cell."

Anko scowled, "Why couldn't you let us have some fun, brat? I haven't had a good interrogation in a week."

"It's because you've been teaching me," Naruto told the snake mistress as he packed up his supplies. "You will get better prisoners once you finish my education in the delicate art of torture."

She rolled her eyes, "You have a way with words."

Ibiki looked up from the paperwork he was filling out, "Actually, he does."

"Shut up."

Ibiki ignored Anko.

"Ok," Naruto said as he put away the last tool. "Now we only need to decide who is going to get me out of here?"

…

"So I take it that the torture session went well," Hiruzen stated at dinner.

Naruto grinned, "Anko was disappointed that she didn't get to help me."

"Shut up, brat!"

"Well it's true."

"Naruto!"

The blond stuck his tongue out.

"Stop that!"

Ibiki looked up from his bowl of ramen, "If you two don't stop arguing, both of you will be banned from the interrogation chambers for a month."

"Fine."

"I know I'm going to regret this," Hayate started to ask before breaking into a coughing fit, "but what exactly did you do today?"

Naruto grinned at him, "I think you will, but I'm going to tell you anyways."

"Oh joy."

Naruto launched into a lengthy discussion of how they had tortured the spy and what they planned to do the next day with him. It was lovely dinner conversation, all that blood and pain. They even discussed how the other prisoner was going to be interrogated to find out if their stories matched up, if they did, then that is the truth, if not then there would be more work finding out what was the truth.

The Hokage had a pale face when Naruto finally finished, "I think almost everyone agrees with me on this, don't ever tell us about that during dinner!"

Everyone stared at the normally calm village leader, this was the first time most of the people sitting around the table heard him raise his voice.

"Ok," Naruto decided to try and take advantage of the situation, "but only if you let us have ramen for dinner for a whole month."

Hiruzen thought for a moment, "Deal."

"What?" Hayate protested. "Hokage, you can't be serious. Naruto is a growing boy and that much ramen will stunt his growth!"

"So?" the Third said picking at his food, he had lost his appetite after hearing about torture.

"S-so?" Hayate spluttered. "Is that all you can say? It seems that you don't care about Naruto's health!"

"I'm more concerned for our health, if Naruto tells anymore of his experiences with prisoners, we will starve," the Hokage calmly stated. "I have a feeling that Naruto would say that at every meal till we agreed to his conditions. I think that all who are not immune to it at this point would starve before gaining immunity as well."

Everyone except for Naruto, Ibiki, and Anko paled when they realized that the Hokage was telling the truth. Naruto had a nasty little habit of torturing people with their weaknesses until he got what he wanted, that was part of the reason that he was being trained by Anko and Ibiki.

Hayate broke the silence, "Naruto, it's time to get to bed."

"But…"

"No buts," Hayate said sternly. "You have a long day tomorrow, you have to torture another prisoner, you are heading out again to tour the village some more and in the afternoon you will start your training with Team Gokuhi."

Naruto nodded and trudged out of the dining room.

"So, are you now the mother?" Anko asked with a smirk on her face.

Hayate glared at her, "No, it's just that I'm the only one responsible enough to make sure he sleeps, eats, clean and under control."

The Snake Mistress blinked, "I still think that you act like a mother."

Hayate groaned and slammed his head on the table before erupting into yet another one of his soon to be famous coughing fits.

…

Naruto was pouting when he entered the underground training area. The day had started out badly when Kakashi told him that the Third was called in for an emergency meeting and couldn't take him out of the compound. Then, the prisoner he was interrogating did not take him seriously at all and Anko had ended up taking over for the blond. Naruto could only hope that the training session would turn out better than the rest of his day.

Well, he did suppose it was kind of fun watching Anko make a grown man cry. Who knew that she could make a non-lethal poison that caused that much pain? Actually, Naruto had already known, Anko had given him a small amount in his torture kit that he had received for his birthday.

"YOSH!" Gai was evidently the first to arrive. "NARUTO YOU ARRIVED SECOND! IT IS EVIDENT THAT YOU ARE FILLED WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH!"

Naruto covered his ears with his hands and glared at the blur of green that was his ultimate enemy. The blond never did forgive him for calling him a child.

After standing around for about an hour Naruto went over to where Gai was now doing pushups at an incredible speed, "Do you know when everyone else will be here?"

Gai finished his 'light' workout warm-ups, "I have no idea, but we will be Youthful and train without them if necessary!"

Naruto paled a little before he thought of something strange, "Gai?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"How can I hear the capitol 'Y' in youth whenever you say it?"

Gai gave Naruto one of his nice guy smiles, "The answer is quite simple, my Youthful friend! It is because… actually, I don't really know."

Both of them began pondering about this before they heard someone call to them from across the cavern.

"Naruto! Gai!" Hayate yelled before erupting into a coughing fit resulting in both boys rushing towards the sickly teen. "Sorry about that, but I was trying to tell you that you two will be the only ones here today. Inoichi and Shikaku have to attend the same council meeting that then Hokage was at while Itachi has some family matters to attend to."

Gai grinned and turned towards Naruto, "YOSH! I shall take it into my own hands that the YOUTHFUL Naruto will become one of the best at taijutsu!"

Naruto gave Hayate a pleading glance, but the chunin had already left him alone with the Green Beast of Konoha.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

…

The Council was debating about what to do with all the empty properties that were left from the Kyuubi attack. They had already agreed to make one of them into a museum and memorial for what happened that day.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Hiruzen laughed a little when he heard the scream, apparently Naruto had found out about the training session. Then he started wondering about how he could hear what was happening in the compound when it should have been impossible. Oh well, that was just another mystery that he would have to solve later.

Omake

"Naruto!" the blond heard Hayate call. "It's time for dinner!"

Naruto raced towards the dining room eagerly only to turn up his nose at what they were having, "We are going to eat vegetables!"

Kakashi nodded, "I don't like it either, but you wouldn't want to get her angry."

"Whose this her you are speaking of"

Everyone in the dining room froze, "N-no one!"

"Good."

In the doorway stood Hayate looking as he usually did around this time, caring another dish of their meal, wearing a dress, and looked slightly ill as always. WAIT! HE'S WEARING A DRESS!

…

Hayate woke up from his nap suddenly. He leaped up and began making sure that he was wearing his usual clothes before sighing in relief.

"What are you doing?" Ibiki asked as he walked into the main room carrying a cup coffee.

Hayate looked up at Ibiki, "I was making sure I wasn't wearing a dress."

The interrogator decided to ignore what Hayate had just said and left the room.

"I really should stop Naruto and Anko from mentally scarring him anymore," Ibiki muttered as he walked through the halls. "Eh, they'll ignore me and do it anyways, so I won't bother stopping them."

Ibiki nodded to himself and continued towards the kitchen to get his self another cup of coffee.

Hayate: Why are you torturing us?

double1squad: *Shrugs* I don't really know, maybe because it's fun?

Ibiki: Maybe it's because you are too much like Anko?

double1squad: Maybe. But anyways, review and if you have read any of my one-shots, check out the poll on my profile page!