Chapter 4
Author's Note: If I was casting this as an arc on the show and could have my pick of any performers/actors, Rachel's grandparents (and Hiram's parents) would be played by Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme', and her aunt would be played by Bette Midler. Puck's grandmother would be portrayed by Lainie Kazan. All great musicians.
Rachel enjoyed visiting her grandparents; there was always music playing on the stereo, a pot of tea brewing in the kitchen, and the aroma of fresh baked goods wafting through the house. Music was as natural to them as breathing. Her Bubbe and Puck's Nana had been singers with a local band shortly after World War II. When her Zadie was going to college, he was hired as a trumpet player in the same band, and when Jerry Lieberman met Esther Solomon, the rest, as they say, is history. They were married within a year; he became a high school band director and science teacher, and she "retired" to raise their children: Sophie, who was a music professor at OSU and one of the best (if not the best) vocal coaches in Ohio, and Hiram, an MD specializing in physical medicine.
Upon arrival, Rachel and her fathers were welcomed with hugs and kisses all around and a table laden with food. Even though her Bubbe knew that Rachel vas a vegan, she still encouraged her to eat something of a more animal-based nature. "Come, darling. Have some lox and cream cheese with your bagel. It's almost sacrilegious to not at least taste a piece of lox."
Rachel sighed. "Thanks, Bubbe, really, but I'm good with this lovely salad and some soy cheese with my bagel." She smiled hopefully at her grandmother, who knew she was fighting a loosing battle and decided to back off, at least for the present.
After lunch, Rachel went into the room she slept in when she came to visit. She had decided to take her Dad's advice, and, rather than reading an assigned book, she was absent-mindedly thumbing through some of her grandmother's magazines. Apparently, there is just so much "Ladies' Home Journal" that a teenage girl can tolerate, and as Rachel was gathering the energy to go for a walk, she received a text on her phone from Puck: "U busy?" She texted back: "Not really. What's up, Noah?" He responded "U want 2 go 4 coffee?" She thought about it for a second and typed "Thank you, Noah, that would be lovely." He replied "Gr8. C U in 10 ;-)".
Rachel briefly considered changing her clothes. She liked to be comfortable when she traveled, and was currently wearing a pair of yoga pants and a cropped sweater. She decided that she looked presentable enough, ran a brush through her hair, applied some lip gloss, and left the room. She found her Daddy sitting in the living room, watching TV.
"Daddy," she approached him.
"Yes, dear?" he inquired.
"I'm going with Noah to get some coffee, if that's OK," Rachel replied.
"Of course," he responded. "Be sure to be home for dinner."
"Yes, Daddy," she acknowledged. Before she had a chance to put on her coat, there was a knock on the door. She looked through the peephole, verified that it was Puck, and opened the door.
"Hello, Noah," she said.
"Hi, yourself, Rach. Lookin' good today; you should dress like that more often."
He smirked, then broke into a genuine grin, and she demurely looked down and said "Thank you, Noah."
Her father cleared his throat loudly, and Puck entered the living room and said "Hi, Dr. B!"
They shook hands, and Hiram responded "Hello, Noah. I've told you before, please call me Hiram. After all, we've known you since you were born. How's your Nana?"
"Great, Dr…I mean, Hiram. Thanks for askin'." They chatted briefly while Rachel left and came back with her coat. She was about to put it on, when Puck said "Here, Rach, lemme get that for you." He approached her and helped her on with her coat, while Hiram looked on bemusedly. He found it endearing how Puck behaved so protectively toward Rachel. He had seen Finn under similar circumstances, and although Finn was always very polite and treated Rachel respectfully (in his company, at least), he did not recall Finn ever assisting with her coat when they left for a date.
The teens said their goodbyes, and headed out to travel the block or so to the neighborhood coffee shop. As they walked, Puck said "Thanks, Rach, for meetin' up with me. I needed to talk, and thought this was better than over the phone."
"Is everything all right, Noah?" Rachel asked, her voice laced with concern. "Is your Nana OK?"
"She's fine, everybody's fine. I…I just heard something today that I thought you would want to know, too." He saw the consternation in her face, and reassured her "No worries, Rach." He smiled tentatively and held the door open as they entered the restaurant. "Carmel mocha latte' with soy milk, Rach?" he inquired. Rachel was surprised and flattered; Finn never remembered her favorite anything, unless it was something he liked, too.
"That would be perfect, Noah. Thank you. Let me give you some money."
"I've got this, Rach. Just go find us a table, and I'll be back with our drinks."
Rachel selected a booth and settled in. She took off her gloves and beret, and loosened her coat, mulling over what Puck could possibly have to tell her. She decided that for once, she was not going to jump to conclusions, and wait to hear what he had to say. He came over to the booth with their coffee, placed them on the table, and slid in opposite of her. She thanked him, took a sip, looked tentatively at him, and asked "So, Noah, what's on your mind?"
Noah began: "This is just too weird, Rach. I was sitting at the table after lunch, reading the sports section and my mom and Nana were talking." Puck then described the following scene:
Nana Connie looked up from her coffee mug and said "So, nu, Deborah, you'll never guess who I ran into at Macy's last week."
"I have no idea, Ma. So tell me, who did you see?" Mrs. Puckerman asked.
"Shirley Kaufman." Nana Connie stated, as if Mrs. Puckerman should know exactly who that was, and, based on her facial expression, she did.
She looked at Puck oddly, and he picked his head up and said "Am I supposed to know who you're talkin' about? Are you tryin' to fix me up again, Nana? Who is this 'Shirley Kaufman' that Ma seems to be all weirded-out about?"
Mrs. Puckerman sighed and said "Rachel's birth mother, that's who she is."
Puck's head snapped up and he asked "you mean Shelby Corcoran?"
"Shelby…Shirley…poTAYto…poTAHto …whatever, yes, Rachel's birth mother," his Nana replied.
"Wait… you know her? What was she doin' here? Was she with Beth?" He asked incredulously.
"Yes," she replied, "she had her little girl with her. Beautiful child; blondish hair, big hazel eyes. That shiksa you knocked up must be very pretty, Noah."
"You know about that, Nana?" he asked, embarrassedly.
"Of course, bubbeleh, I know everything. You should have figured that out by now."
She winked and gave him an inscrutable smile, and he stammered "Did…did you talk to her…I mean them?"
"Yes," she said "I introduced myself. You know, her aunt has been in my maj group going on 50 years. Anyway, she seemed to remember me and introduced me to her daughter: 'Beth, this is Mrs. Cohen.' I bent down to her level and told her 'you must call me Nana Connie, dear, everyone does.' She seems to be a well-mannered child, although a little shy with strangers. I guess that's natural for her age. She must be around two by now, right, Noah?" She looked at Puck decidedly, raising one eyebrow.
"Yes, Nana, two years old," he replied. "How do you know Shelby, Nana? I thought she was a stranger to the Berrys; I know Rachel did," he continued.
"Well, as I said," she replied, "I've known her aunt for many years. I don't know her parents, though, but based on Marjorie, they must be nice people. As I recall, she was a graduate student at Ohio State and a pupil of Rachel's Aunt Sophie. Seems to me that Sophie was quite impressed with Shirley; thought she showed great promise and had a real chance at a career in the theater, which she desperately wanted. Unfortunately, there was no money, and Shirley was resigned to life as a teacher. It was around that time Rachel's fathers decided to hire a surrogate. Sophie thought that Shirley would be an ideal candidate and broached the subject to her. She was more than amenable and, well, I guess you know the rest."
"So, I figured you'd want to know, and here we are," he concluded.
Rachel's face had paled, and she was momentarily speechless. They actually knew Shelby and had never told her, especially after her Sophomore year fiasco with Jesse St. James and then Shelby. She felt confused and betrayed, as if everything she believed had been built on lies.
Puck felt relieved for having shared this conversation, Rachel's expression left him feeling worried. "Rach, are you OK? I didn't mean to upset you or anything."
"No, Noah; I'll be OK. I'll talk with my dads about this later, after I have time to process it all."
"Actually, Rach, since we're on the subject of Shelby, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a while." He took a deep breath and continued "Rachel, no matter what you think, I did not sleep with Shelby."
Rachel quickly countered, a slightly pained expression on her face. "Look, Noah, it is none of my business with whom you share a bed; you don't need to placate me. This is something that is way too uncomfortable..."
"No, Rach, please hear me out," he pleaded. "I won't lie about this; I totally would 'a done it, ya know? After all, I am a guy, and she is kinda hot, and she is Beth's mother and all." He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, and Rachel momentarily looked away in embarrassment. "Anyway, as I was sayin', we were pretty into it, ya know, and, well," he hesitated, and then quietly said "I called her somebody else's name. She kicked me out pretty fast after that."
Rachel was surprised by his confession and confused as to why he chose this particular time to share it with her. "So, in the 'heat of passion', so to speak, you called out someone else. Who, Quinn? Wait…I…I really don't want to know," she stated matter-of-factly and glanced away again.
"No, Rach, not Quinn. Who do you think?" he quietly prodded.
She turned her head again to face him, he looked into her eyes softly, and she gasped "Oh. My. G-d. Noah, you called her 'Rachel', didn't you?"
Rachel turned bright red and looked down at her hands. Puck chuckled nervously and ran his hand through his Mohawk. He replied "Well, she kinda is an older, less hot version 'a you, after all." Rachel didn't know whether to be flattered or mortified. She realized, though, that his admission was probably as important for him to share as it was difficult for her to digest.
After a few seconds, she quietly spoke again: "Well, Noah, then why did Quinn tell me that you slept with her?"
"Because," he replied, "I tried to tell her the whole story, but stopped when I realized that it would embarrass the Hell out 'a you. I never thought she would broadcast the whole friggin' thing, especially to you."
Rachel felt a sudden surge of realization. "Of course; that would explain why she never said a word to me when she left, just bolted out of town as soon as the Troubletones disbanded. As usual, I thought I had done something wrong."
They sat quietly for a while, each digesting the conversation in their own way, and sipped their now-tepid drinks. Rachel glanced at her watch and said "Well, Noah this has been most revealing. I appreciate your honestly in sharing this with me, but I need a little time to process it all. I think we'd best be getting back." He nodded solemnly in agreement, and they both slid out of the booth, fastened their coats, tossed out the remainder of their drinks, and left to head back to the condo complex. Rachel shivered in the sudden chill, and Puck instinctively put his arm around her and drew her close. "Sure you're OK, Rach?"
"Yes, truly, Noah," she replied. "I just need to think it all through." She did not pull away, and, instead, wrapped her arm around his waist. They walked the rest of the way in amicable silence.
Author's Note: Yes, I know, another note… in case you aren't aware, "shiksa" is a Yiddish term for a non-Jewish girl. It is slightly negative in connotation, but only slightly. "Tsatske" is a more derogatory term, as it means a cheap (read: slutty) girl. It is derived from "chatchke", which is an inexpensive decorative object (i.e. a cheap, usually gaudy thing that sits on a shelf).
FYI, Jewish people are taught to write 'G-d' in place of spelling the word out. Additionally, we only use the specific Hebrew pronunciation during prayer or in a classroom environment. Otherwise, the term "HaShem" replaces it; it is not "Yaweh", "Yaveh", or (shudder) "Jew G-d".