Disclaimer: The characters are property of Janet Evanovich and I am not making any money from this story. The story line is mine.

Warning: Angst

Finding Yesterday 04

By, Elissahara30

September 2004

Fall is my favorite time of year. Just when the leaves begin to turn from green to yellow to that really startling red and the air starts to develop a slight bite in the evenings. I was almost afraid after having such a horribly hot summer that September might be dragged into an Indian summer. Thankfully my fall arrived and my evenings became cooler.

And in those quiet evenings I find my thoughts increasingly focusing more and more on Ranger. Ranger has been gone for two weeks and I can't help but feel his departure with a bitter sweet sense of longing. Bitter because we were starting to become more and sweet, because he had told me all the reasons why he loved me. No one had ever told me the reasons why they loved me before, and it meant more to me than just simple words. I realized what it really was like to be cherished by someone, where I truly mattered.

Then not long after he confessed that he really loved me, he told me he had business that was going to take him away for an extended period of time. He couldn't tell me where he was going or when he'd be back and I didn't press. It was my turn to trust him and so I let him go with a, "Don't get dead" comment.

And now here I find myself at the most exclusive restaurant in Trenton with Joe and instead of feeling elated and happy, I felt hollow. I should be happy; I'm here with my boyfriend. We were essentially on our first real romantic date, and it was meaningless. Sure the restaurant was nice, with fairy lights and soft music. The tables had burgundy cloths on them and crisp white napkins and each table boasted a beautiful rose candle floating in a vase of oil. But no amount of lighting could resemble the intimate feeling of what Ranger had given me, and I felt bad for Joe for he was playing second fiddle on this occasion.

"Cupcake are you listening to me?" Asked Joe, as he shook my hand to get my attention.

I raised my eyes from my plate of noodles and sauce to look up at Joe. His expression was closed and his eyes intense and I couldn't help the sigh that escaped my lips, "I'm sorry Joe, my mind is a million miles away," literally.

He frowns at me and then clears his throat nervously as he starts to fidget with the pocket of his dinner jacket, "We've known each other for a long time," he says as he clears his throat again, "And when two people who have been together for as long as we have well . . ." his voice trails off.

I start to feel the overwhelming panic begin go bubble in my chest as Joe fished around his pocket and pulled out a small black box. Oh, dear Lord, I thought.

"Stephanie Plum will you marry me," he opens the box to reveal a nice diamond ring.

"Uh, Joe, um . . .," I would do anything right now if my car just exploded into a million pieces, "Joe you know I love you its just, well . . ."

"It's a yes or no question, Stephanie," he says between clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry Joe, I can't," and I felt tears start to prickle at my eyes as Joe's face closed down and I was faced with the cop.

Joe stood up slowly and put money down on the table and turned and walked away. I stood up and chased after him and finally caught up to him in the parking lot. I reached out my hand to stop him, "Please don't do this."

He spins around angrily, "I love you. Why wasn't I enough for you?"

"We want different things out of life Joe; we would only make each other miserable. I'm so sorry," I try to touch him to let him know that I still care but he batted my hand out of the way and with the momentum of his brush off and my heels send me down to the pavement with a thump.

"Jesus, Stephanie," Joe said as he reached down to pick me up. And as he got closer to me, he noticed my necklace for the first time and he froze. "He gave you that didn't he?" he asked as his voice grew hard and brittle.

I didn't need to ask who he was; we both knew who Joe was referring to, "Yes." I simply said.

Joe eyes bore into mine and I saw so much there, hurt, anger and betrayal, "All that key holds is nothing but empty promises." And Joe turned away, got into his SUV and left me sitting there on the sidewalk. I wanted to curl up on the sidewalk and just sob, but I got myself up and brushed myself off and walked to my car and made my way home.

SRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSR

Present Day – Banko de La France, Paris, France

Paris the City of Love, Paris the Mecca of fashion, Paris a powerhouse in a financial world. Standing outside the Bank of France, I worked on quelling my unease, because this was nothing like the banks we had in New Jersey. The very building exuded prestige and wealth and a deep sense of history. I hadn't even gone through the lobby doors and I felt myself want to turn around and walk away. I wasn't the same person I was months ago, and Jersey could do this, I could do this and I will. Because in this building I prayed held the some of the answers I've been searching for and it led me closer to Ranger.

I entered the lobby area and worked hard on maintaining my cool detachment and not gock at the amazing museum feel of the place. If I wasn't careful I'd start to look like a tourist. I walked with my head high and posture telling everyone that I was important and I am not to be bothered by anyone. I wore a Versache bold green silk skirt and matching jacket and my hand bag and Parada shoes. My make up was understated and I felt slightly naked without my mascara on. I walked my way to the reception desk and taped the desk impatiently to get the woman's attention.

"Yes?" She asked me, her tone imperious as she looked over at me.

I gave her a cool smile and said, "I am here to look over the contents of my safe box."

"Name?" she asked as she turned her attention to her computer screen.

"Miss Julie Newmar," I said as I inspected my nails in an effort to quell my nerves. What I really wanted to do was fidget, but I had to maintain my composure.

"Oh, my," I heard the receptionist say and then she looked up at me and gave me a nervous smile. I just returned her look with a cooler one and hoped to hell that I wasn't about to get in any serious trouble. She stood up abruptly and walked around the desk, "Please let me escort you to Monsieur Bonne, and he is in charge of our customer relations here at the Bank of France."

I followed the receptionist's rapid footsteps and wondered what her computer screen had said about whom Miss Newmar was, and for the first time I wished I had my ear piece in with DM's voice on the other end goading me on. I could use his annoying voice to distract me right about now.

We walked up a wide marble staircase to the third floor and stopped in front solid dark wooden doors. The receptionist knocked on the door and opened it up to a man in his early fifties wearing a dark blue business suite, "Monsieur Bonne, Miss Newmar is here to view the contents of her safe box."

I walked into the room with confidence and Monsieur Bonne stood up and offered me a seat in one of the plush guest chairs in his office, and I sat with poise and covered my surprise when the receptionist handed me a cup of tea. I accepted without thanking her acting like I was regularly treated with such care. And turned my attention back to Bonne and waited for him to tell me why I was in his office.

Bonne sat behind his desk then steeple his fingers as he looked at me carefully, "I am quite pleased that such a prestigious client has come to us, Miss Newmar."

"Do you not receive prestigious client's often Monsieur Bonne?" I asked as I took a sip of my tea.

He gave me a tight lipped smile, "When Mr. West opened the safe box for you he gave very specific set of instructions for us to follow when you arrived."

I mulled over Bonne's words carefully, "And what do I need to provide you Monsieur Bonne to ensure you of my identity."

I watched as Bonne relaxed slightly, and I couldn't help but wonder what Ranger had asked of him, "Mr. West said he had given you a necklace and also indicated that the necklace would have the proper identifier for you Miss Newmar."

I couldn't help but smile at the cleverness behind Ranger's use of the necklace. If by chance anyone had gotten the key and discovered the name the box was under, why would anyone keep a gold necklace? "Yes, of course." I said as I slipped the gold chain off from around my neck and gave it the Bonne.

He took the necklace and pulled out a small handheld electric device from a locked desk drawer. He tapped a couple of buttons and scanned the necklace. I watched as he looked at something on his screen and he nodded his head in satisfaction. He handed me my necklace back and said, "If you will follow me Miss Newmar I will take you to your safe box."

I followed him down to the vault room and I was amazed yet again by the splendor of the financial institution. There was a line upon line of solid white doors with golden handles and hinges and I was almost afraid of touching the glossy surfaces in fear of leaving it smudged. We walked until we reached a room that was slightly furnished and he indicated for me to take a seat and he took my key and left me alone. I only had a few minutes wait when he came back and set a long rectangular steel box on the table, "I will leave you alone to examine the contents. Please push this button here and I will be back to escort you out of the vault."

"Thank you," I said sincerely, he inclined his head and left me alone.

I sat and stared, and my heart rate increased and my hands became clammy and I was half afraid of what was inside. I felt like Pandora, and I briefly considered just leaving and never opening the box. I took in a deep breath and lifted the lid, and topmost in the box was this quote:

"The face is the mirror of the

Mind, and the eyes without speaking

Confess the secrets of the heart."

- Saint Jerome.

I wondered what Ranger had meant by the quote and I took it out and set it on the table beside me, and under the paper was a photo and I felt the tears prickle at my eyes and with trembling hands I took it out.

It was of us on the day he left. I'm not sure who had taken the photo, but I felt heavy looking at it. He stood tall and strong and so alive and I was leaning against him, my head resting on his shoulder. It was the very last time I had seen him. I brought the photo up and laid it against my chest over my heart and held back the sobs that desperately wanted to escape. My breathing became harsh as I worked hard against the overwhelming grief that wanted to swamp me.

I reined in my emotions and put the photo face down on the table and continued to look over the contents of the box. Much of it was passports of Rangers under various names and an ID for the SGO, and I couldn't help but smile at that, if Lula only knew that her ideal of Ranger as Batman wasn't so far from the truth after all. Under the passports was money, and if I had to guess it was several thousands of Euros' in it. I pulled out silver disks and on the very bottom was a thick file, and I carefully pulled it out.

I opened the first page and my heart stopped at what I was seeing and a whole new emotion swept over me. I pulled my large bag out and started shoving everything that was in the safe box into it. I shut the lid on the safe box and pushed the call button. I suddenly felt like a prisoner and I wanted out now.

When Monsieur Bonne escorted me out, I couldn't help but feel exposed and when I exited the Bank of France I knew someone was watching. All those times when Ranger said I needed to be aware of my surroundings, I couldn't have thanked him enough. I walked for several blocks and made my way into The Coleridge and walked up to the check in desk, "Yes, there should be a reservation for a Miss Newmar," I said calmly.

The young man behind the counter smiled and handed over the room key, I took it calmly and entered the elevator and rode it up to the third floor. I entered my room and dumped my hand bag on the bed. I pulled off the green jacket and threw it on the floor and then pulled off the shoes and then I reached into my hand bag and pulled out a folded up light weight back pack. I started transferring the contents to the backpack all the while mentally counting down how much time I had to make the change.

I pulled down the skirt and reversed it so it showed solid plain black; I took out a black hat and put it on my head. Then I put on overly large sunglasses. I took out a bright red scarf and tied it around my neck. I slipped my feed into a pair of red sandal pumps and applied red lipstick to my lips. I checked myself briefly in the mirror and walked out the room.

I made my way to the stairwell just as the elevator dinged for my floor. I didn't look back once. I made my way to the lobby, out the front door and to a waiting cab. I got in and asked the driver to take me to a park not far from here and pulled out my cell. I pressed one and when DM answered all I said was, "I got it."

A/N: This was a tough chapter to write, and I hope it turned out good. Please review and let me know. Also I give red day glow sticker who guessed that Adam West played Batman and Julie Newmar was Catwoman.