"The process is nearly complete." Granac stated.
John barked out a shout as a stronger-than-comfortable electric tingle made its way up his body. He'd been stripped naked and was lying in what looked like a glorified bath-tub full of blue liquid of a strange consistency. There were tubes running from pumps into the tub and the whole thing vibrated in a horribly disturbing way that made his skin feel thick.
"What the hell are you doing to me?" He asked through gritted teeth.
"You are being doubled." Granac explained. "And doubling you doubles our reward."
There was the sound of shouts and P-90 gunfire outside the door.
A guard stepped forward. "My master, we have intruders!"
"Your teams rescue attempt has only handed themselves to us." Granac sneered down at John.
Suddenly the door burst open and Teal'c appeared followed by the rest of SG-1. It was probably a spectacular sight to see but John's eyeballs were vibrating in his skull which spoiled it a little.
Granac stood up from his chair. "Your bravery as a fighting force is indeed legendary throughout the galaxy and your attempt to rescue your leader is noble. But there is no hope-"
A short burst of P-90 fire cut the speech off and Granac's lifeless body slumped back into the chair.
"God that guy was pissing me off." John said through chattering, gritted teeth.
"Don't mention it." Sam said and joined Teal'c in securing the room.
Cameron and Daniel approached the machine. "John, are you alright?" Cameron asked.
"Uh, not really." He breathed a laugh and shivered. "You think you can get me out of this thing?"
"Sure." Cameron reached forwards to grab John's forearm. Where their skin touched, a green sticky substance appeared. Cameron made a face. "Ew, what? What is that?"
He managed to pull John up and out of the tub and held him up by the shoulders. Daniel took his jacket off and handed it to John. After a moments consideration he decided on tying it backwards around his waist to protect his dignity.
The green jelly on Cameron's arm was drying and becoming tacky. He tried to wipe it off but his hand almost got stuck to it. "Urgh, that's just gross."
John shuddered. "Let's get out of here."
...
"Hey, Sheppard." Cameron said softly as John drifted awake. He was in an infirmary bed, clean but extremely bruised, with SG-1 at the foot of his bed.
"Hey." He mumbled back.
"How are you feeling?" Sam asked.
"Exhausted."
"You look like you took a hell of a beating." Cameron asserted. "What were they doing to you in that tub?"
"Trying to clone me," John said, closing his eyes with a sigh.
"Clone?" Daniel furrowed his brow.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "For what reason?"
"The guy was a bounty hunter." John shrugged. "Thought he'd get twice as much money by selling me to two different people."
"Now that's a business plan." Cameron had to agree.
"Did he manage to do it?" Sam asked concerned.
John frowned. "He said the process was nearly finished just before you arrived. But I didn't see anything." He shook his head
"Could he have been bluffing?" Daniel asked.
"Possibly." Sam concurred.
"Maybe it didn't work at all." John shrugged. "But it sure as hell hurt like a bitch."
Cameron smiled and nodded. "You do look like shit."
"Gee, thanks, Mitchell." John said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.
"Well, it's great to see you're okay, Sheppard, but I've got to go." Daniel turned to leave. "See you later."
"I too am required elsewhere." Teal'c stated.
"Okay, see you round, Teal'c." Cameron waved as the Jaffa left.
John opened his mouth to speak when suddenly his face twisted in pain and he sat up, doubling over and holding his stomach.
"What? What is it?" Cameron asked in panic.
Sam went round the side of the bed and tried to hold him still. "John, are you okay?"
"John?"
He gasped and squeezed his eyes tight. "Get the doctor." He breathed. Sam and Cameron exchanged worried looks and Sam hurried off to find Dr Lam.
"John, what's happening?" Cameron tried to sound calm. John groaned and continued writhing in pain until Dr. Lam appeared.
"Okay, Colonel." She said calmly, stepping towards him and holding his shoulders lightly. "Can you just lie back for me? Okay, that's it." She injected a sedative into John's arm and he seemed to settle down a bit.
"Carolyn, what's going on?" Cameron asked with concern.
"I don't know yet." She admitted. "He seems to have severe abdominal pains. Stay here, I'm going to run some tests." With that, two nurses wheeled John's bed into another room.
...
"You realise these pictures never look like anything, right?" Cameron said as he handed the ultrasound image to Sam to have a look.
Her eyes widened. "Is that what I think it is?"
Dr Lam frowned and nodded. "That image is almost identical to that produced in the second trimester of pregnancy."
There was a silence.
"Pregnancy?" Cameron raised his eyebrows. "Are we still talking about John?"
Sam ignored him. "How?"
Dr Lam shrugged. "I really don't know. All I know is that there is currently a foetus growing inside Colonel Sheppard."
There was a moment of silence before Cameron clicked his fingers and turned to Sam. "Cloning..."
Something visibly clicked inside Sam's mind. "Cloning, of course. John said the bounty hunter was trying to clone him."
Dr Lam looked confused. "But the cloning process creates a genetic replica of something." She shook her head. "That doesn't explain why the foetus is so developed."
"No." Sam agreed. "But he wasn't trying to create a clone baby. He wanted another fully grown version."
Dr Lam still wasn't convinced. "But that's not how cloning works."
"That's not how our process of cloning works." Sam pointed out. "Perhaps this method involves some kind of mitosis, or something."
"Accelerated growth."
"Precisely." Sam looked proud of working out the problem. "Which could be why there was no sign of pregnancy when we rescued John."
"Hang on." Cameron interrupted. "Accelerated growth? That means we're gonna have two fully-grown Sheppards walking around in a few hours?"
...
Cameron stared at the very large baby bump protruding up under the bed sheet. "Geez, John. Planning on slowing down any time soon?"
John sighed in frustration and scowled at Cameron. "This is horrible. And you're not helping."
"Sorry." Cameron said with a grin.
"The doctor said something about – mitosis."
Cameron grimaced at the image. "Yeah. Gonna be one hell of a show. Forgive me if I don't stick around for that one."
John jerked suddenly and brought his hands to the sides of the bump. Cameron made to stand up and get the doctor but John stopped him.
"No, I'm fine." He assured. "It's just my skin tearing itself slowly apart. You know, I'll never look the same again."
Cameron stuck his bottom lip out in mock sympathy and they both cracked up.
"So, what are you gonna call him?" Cameron asked after a moment.
"Urgh!" John threw his head back. "I'm trying not to think about it. John Junior, I guess. It's as good as any."
Cameron frowned. "You're not taking this very seriously."
"You try it!" John spat back. "Knowing that at any time your stomach's gonna rip open a la Alien and an accelerated-growth replica of yourself is gonna pop out-"
He stopped his rant and looked genuinely scared as he clutched at his belly again.
"John?" Cameron asked hesitantly.
"I- think it's starting."
-..—
"Wake up, Sunshine!"
John stirred but kept his eyes closed. "Is it over?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
Cameron looked down at the tiny baby in his arms. "He's gorgeous."
John scrunched his face up. "Don't get too attached to it. It'll be a full blown carbon copy of yours truly in a few hours." He sighed in frustration.
"So when did you get the ears?" Cameron asked curiously, ignoring John.
John frowned. "What?"
"The whole pointy-ness." Cameron explained. "When did they start doing that?"
"What do you mean? They were always like this."
"Really?" Cameron raised his eyebrows. "Coz this little guy doesn't look like an elf."
"Hey!" John snapped his eyes open to glare at Cameron and risked a look at the baby and frowned again. "But you're right. And he doesn't look much like my old baby pictures,"
"I thought he was your clone." Cameron looked at John.
"Yeah. Me too."
...
"Well, he's not actually a clone." Dr Lam announced as she returned with test results.
"He's not?" Cameron and John asked together.
"No. He definitely has DNA from two distinct parents."
Cameron looked confused. "So the bounty hunter mixed a bit of someone else's genetic-juice in there by mistake?" He guessed.
Dr Lam shook her head. "No, actually we know both of the parents."
"We do?" John asked in surprise.
"One, obviously, is Colonel Sheppard himself." She nodded her head in his direction and paused. "And the other is you, Colonel Mitchell."
"Me?" Cameron looked dumbfounded.
"Apparently so. Somehow you managed to contaminate the clone with your own DNA somewhere along the process."
John groaned in realisation. "When you pulled me out the machine."
Cameron nodded. "Of course. I grabbed his arm and this goo appeared all over my arm. Took ages to get that off. That must have been it."
Dr Lam nodded. "Quite possibly."
Cameron sighed. "So now we won't have a Sheppard-clone walking around, we'll have a Sheppard-Mitchell hybrid instead."
"Essentially." Dr Lam glanced at the test results page. "But not walking just yet."
"Huh?"
"The contamination and interruption of the cloning seems to have slowed the growth acceleration." She explained. "Little John Junior here should grow at the same or similar rate as a normal human. Excuse me." She added as her pager went off.
Cameron turned to John with a forced straight face. "You know what this means?"
"That I just had your baby?" John guessed.
Cameron cracked a smile. "No. We have to change his name."
...
The night before the Daedalus was scheduled to leave for Atlantis a month later, John and Cameron lay on the bed with the baby asleep (finally) between them.
"So, are you gonna stay on Earth?" Cameron asked in a soft voice.
"I can't, Cam, you know that." John replied quietly. "I have responsibilities on Atlantis. That's where my life is."
"Your life could be here. What about Junior?"
"You really think the Air Force would let us keep him?" John asked doubtfully.
Cameron shrugged. "They have so far."
"There's only so much Landry can say to defend us."
"This doesn't even have to be against regulations." Cameron sighed. "Anyone could've helped you out of that machine. You could have found you were having Teal'c's kid, for Christ's sake."
"True." John agreed. "But raising him together would still draw attention and beg questions."
"And essentially ruin both our careers." Cameron's shoulders sagged a bit.
"Exactly."
Cameron went silent then sighed. "I just don't want my son to be out of my life so soon." He let his fingers brush through the dusting of hair on Junior's head.
John paused in shock. "Is that what this is about? Cam, I'm not taking Junior away from you."
"What?"
"Don't get me wrong, Atlantis is an amazing place." John said and ran a finger down the baby's soft cheek. "But I wouldn't want my son to grow up with no other kids his age and in a city that's constantly at risk." He paused. "I want him to stay here. If that's alright with you?"
Cameron looked down at Junior and smiled. "That'd be perfect with me."