Chapter 4

Syed's POV

Tam is so sweet worrying about me like he does – but he does not understand that I don't have choices anymore. After all I have put him through, I can't blame Christian for not wanting me – and just look how happy Mum and Dad are to have Bushra and the Aunties visit us. This could be a gateway for our family to gain back some respect from the wider community. What price is my happiness against that?

The chances of Bushra being able to find a new wife are nonexistent, after such a public disgrace what reputable family is going to allow their daughter to marry me! All I need to do now is keep my head down, work hard, build up the business and do whatever Mum wants me to do. I don't think I need to worry about the spectre of entering into another marriage in the near future. If and when it ever happens I will be older and wiser and I won't have someone like Christian tempting me into sin.

Not that Mum agrees, as I retreat to the kitchen to escape the spotlight, she is assuring me that somewhere out there is "the one". How can she be sure?

Zainab "Because it is destined Syed, because everything we have been through, everything has brought us to where we are now. You were never meant to be with Amira, I understand that now. Everything happens for a reason even if we don't know what it is, all this – it was meant to be."

What if she is right? If there is only one – then how could it be anyone else but Christian!

If I walk out this house now, right in the middle of this party, there will be no coming back. My family will never understand but if Christian is destiny I have to find him now – I have to make him understand, I have to fight for him.

I say goodbye - Fi Aman Allah!

Christian's POV

Do I hear him out or walk away? I am hot and tired from my run, I really want to turn around and quench my thirst in the Vic, but there is something different about him. He is calm and determined, but no more determined than I am not to be dragged back into a destructive relationship.

And then I hear him asking for help. Help to be proud of who he is both gay and Muslim and suddenly the prospect of Allah who "will always know" no longer being a barrier changes everything. With my help he could just possibly win round his family but I never stood a chance trying to fight against his God.

With trepidation I offer that help. I am rewarded with a gentle but fearful touch of his hand on my face; I reassure him with a butterfly kiss on his fingers and feel a surge of hope that this time his heart has finally won the battle.

Then I see his parents, and as he turns to face them his hand drops away and my heart is in my mouth waiting to see if he retreats from me. But no – he stands his ground.

The look on Masood's face is clear, Syed knows it as well as I do, there is no going back now. Not for the first time I actually feel sorry for Zainab. Her heart is breaking, I know she loves Syed dearly, and she just does not understand how to do so without destroying him. She will have her choices to make too.

And so here we are, arm in arm going home. Today I moved forward so far – I actually reached my destination.