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Never Let Me Go
Chapter 4
Hell, Day Five.
Buffy coughed loudly, she couldn't breathe.
She hunched over and covered her mouth. Angel held her, whispering soothingly as she bent forward and spat out a hunk of black sludge. She sobbed and put a hand over her mouth. "Gross," she muttered, before she started coughing again.
It was getting worse, as the hour's past she could feel her body getting weaker. She hated it. "Angel" she murmured weakly, before she started coughing again.
"Ssshhh, darling" he whispered, stroking her cheek. "Don't speak."
"I'm dying," she told him, looking up at him through hazy, fever bright eyes. "It's this place" he said to himself, "Only the dead can survive hell." She started coughing again, tears streaming down her face as her whole body started shaking. Angel wrapped her in his arms, holding her against his chest. "What am I going to do?" she said to herself. He glanced down as he continued to stroke her hair "I…" he paused, "I think I know a way…" "How?" she asked, glancing up at him hopefully.
He looked away, unable to meet her gaze.
"Angel?" she managed to choke out between coughs, "tell me, please."
He swallowed the lump in his throat and bent down to kiss her softly. She looked up at him in confusion. "I could always make you a vampire," he said, almost cringing from the words as they left his lips.
Her eyes opened wide and she stared at him in complete shock, never would she have thought to hear those words from him. He wanted her to stay human, how many times had they argued that she deserved a normal life, a normal boyfriend, someone who could take her into the light and live?
She swallowed. "A vampire?" she said quietly, "But Angel, I wouldn't be me." She was wondering why he hadn't thought of that. He knew what would happen if she became a vampire, she would cease to be her, leaving her body with a demon inside.
He shook his head slowly. "I think it would be different here," he tried to explain.
"How?" she asked quietly.
He sighed and sat back on his heels. "It's because we're in hell. You can't leave this place. It is for the dead, their souls are trapped here. Your soul will have nowhere to go, it will be stuck here too." He reached out and put a finger to her chest, "in here."
"It's a risk, I don't know if it will work, but you'll die if you don't, and then…" he looked Buffy straight in the eye. "Then your soul will be stuck here regardless, forever, without a body, no hope of getting out."
Buffy's eyes widened and she grabbed his upper arm, squeezing it tight and sat up a little straighter. "That's you're plan?" she hissed, "you want to find a way out?"
"Don't you?" he countered. "You don't belong here Buffy."
"Neither do you!" she said forcefully. "Don't I? After all the things I've done?" he shook his head. "This is the place I'll end up Buffy, but not now, not with you here with me, I'll be damned if I let you suffer because of me." "If there is a chance to get out I'm gonna take it, and for that I need your soul here."
"What if it doesn't work?" she asked sadly before she started coughing again. When she pulled her hand away it was covered in blood, a trickle running down the corner of her mouth.
Impossibly, Angel turned even paler. Buffy watched his face as a mirror of emotions flashed across his face. She looked down at her hand before wiping it on her pants. "Angel, I'm ok," she whispered. He shook his head sadly "You're not Buffy, you're coughing up blood, I've known too many people who have died from that."
"I'm a Slayer, Angel, we're tougher than the average bear."
He gave her a look, not getting the reference but understanding what she was trying to say. "I know that Buffy, but even you can't survive your lungs starting to rot."
Buffy flinched at his cruel words and looked away. The harsh landscape stretched before them, fires burned in the distance, thick black smoke clogged the air. "I don't want to die, I don't want to stay here either."
"I'll get you out of here Buffy, I will."
She looked away again. "Ok, she whispered, "but don't turn me until the very end."
He blinked back tears before wrapping his arms around her, kissing her softly. They sat on the hard earth wrapped in each other's arms, neither of them in any hurry to move. A few minutes later Buffy had to pull away as she started coughing again. Angel held her as she shook, rubbing her back soothingly. When she continued to cough he stood up and took her into his arms and started to walk again.
It was getting late and soon they would need to find shelter. For the past five days they had managed to find shelter under a dead tree or bush, or even beside some rocks that offered a little protection from the wind. Angel insisting on taking watch most of the time, Buffy needing more sleep then he did, but even he couldn't stay awake all night.
Hell was not like earth. A moon shone in the sky, and followed a path across the sky, but a sun never appeared. Tree's grew, but they were different from the ones on earth. They were twigs and bark, no leaves in sight. Fires burned on the ground and in the sky, thunder and lightning seemed to be everywhere.
It was strange and scary, but Angel didn't have to worry about the sun.
After a while she stopped coughing, relaxing into his arms. He heard her breathing start to slow and even out as she fell asleep.
He kept a look out, finally spotting a rocky outcrop jutting out past the trees, in the rock was a cave.
Carefully he walked up the rocky hill, holding Buffy close he walked toward the small cave. He peered in, his nostrils flaring, searching for anyone inside. He couldn't smell anything and cautiously walked inside. The cave was empty. He put Buffy down on the ground, watched her for a seconds then walked back outside to grab any wood he could find. A fire would keep them warm tonight.
His head was full of thoughts, Buffy was dying. He knew it, he couldn't kid himself anymore. He stood outside the cave and wiped the sudden tears in his eyes.
In a few days she would be worse and then he would kill her, make her like him, all so he could save her soul and make sure she could get out of here. "I love you Buffy," he said to himself as he scrambled down the small hill and walked towards the trees.
(v)
Hell, Week Two.
They had spent the last few weeks in the cave, it was small and isolated, and there was wood nearby for a fire. After that first day they quickly found out that they weren't the only ones here. Demons were everywhere. The place was primitive, with technology common centuries before. They had carts that were pulled by ox-like demons, only with scales and talons. Some demons wore clothes in various styles of cotton, wool and leather, while others went naked.
Most importantly they had weapons, which Angel and Buffy discovered after they had crawled out of the cave and up the cliff, hiding in some bushes as a troop of soldiers marched past. Exchanging glances Buffy and Angel kept out of sight, not speaking to each other until the demons were well out of sight. "What type of world is this?" Buffy asked, "Soldiers?"
Angel shrugged. "The Army was very important back in the day, they acted as law enforcers as well as their military duties."
A few days later a huge, hulking demon ambushed them as they were coming out of the trees not far from the cave.
With an angry snarl Angel killed it, and drunk his blood, making himself sick as a dog for days. He made a mental note to avoid that species of demon in the future.
They also managed to find a relatively clean water source, where they could finally wash the blood off their skin and Buffy could drink a few sips of water. But she was weak now, every breath she took sent her into a coughing fit.
It was time.
(v)
It was night time, and inside the cave Buffy looked up from her place beside the fire as Angel walked back into the cave, looking even paler than usual. Dust covered his skin and hair and made him look older then he appeared. She smiled up at him, then winced as she started coughing again.
Angel knelt down beside her, wiping her sweat soaked hair back from her forehead, "Are you ok?" he asked her softly.
She sighed softly, "I'm ready," she whispered.
He swallowed, his eyes showing his distress. "I don't want to do this," he whispered, a lump in his throat.
"There's no choice, I can feel it Angel, I'm dying. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to be stuck in here forever. I don't want you to be stuck here alone," she cried desperately.
He leaned down and kissed her slowly, both of them savouring the contact before he pulled away, He took a deep breath then settled beside her. Buffy sat up and curled up against him. Slowly he brushed her hair back from her neck, holding her close. He started kissing her neck as Buffy kept her eyes closed.
His face shifted and he took a deep breath through his nose, her scent filling his nostrils. He could feel the veins in her neck pulse underneath his lips, his body started to react. He was hungry, he was half starved already and the smell of Buffy's potent Slayer blood was testing his control.
He hesitated for an instant before he carefully sunk his fangs into the side of her neck. The sharp fangs sliding in easily, the blood spilling out of the wound and into his mouth. He moaned quietly despite his best intentions and clutched her even tighter against him as he slowly drank her blood.
Buffy gasped quietly before relaxing, getting weaker with every gulp he took.
He pulled his mouth away, licking his lips before bringing his wrist to his mouth and opening a vein with a quick slash of his fangs. Blood flowed and he quickly pressed the wound to Buffy's mouth. "Drink," he told her.
She closed her lips around the wound automatically, seeking any moisture she could. The blood flowed down her throat and she gasped, the tangy liquid tasting strange to her tongue, but she kept drinking anyway.
Angel kept his wrist pressed to her mouth until it had healed.
He settled her in his lap, smoothing her hair back and holding her close as she slowly died. She stared at him her big hazel eyes looking up at him in complete trust before they slowly started to darken. "I love you," she whispered before her eyes closed. Her chest stilled and as the last breath left her lungs a single tear rolled down Angel's cheek and splattered onto Buffy nose.
"Please god, let this work" he whispered over and over, praying for the first time since he had been a small boy. The irony of praying to a god while in hell not lost on the vampire. "Please, make her right, let her soul be hers."
(v)
Hour's past as Angel sat on the other side of the fire from where he had laid Buffy down in the dirt and loosely covered her with earth. He was starting to lose hope. Had he done it right? It had been years since he had turned another, what if he had forgotten something?
He was staring at her, unblinkingly when suddenly her hand twitched. He froze, his eyes focusing on the small movement. "Buffy?" he said quietly. Her whole arm moved and her eyes snapped open. She sat up with a harsh scream, her face shifting into the vampire's true face.
"Buffy!" Angel yelled this time, desperately.
She turned towards him, a snarl on her face and for a second he was worried, but then within the yellow iris's he saw her soul shining through. She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and sobbed into this shirt. "Oh Angel," she whispered over and over.
"Sshh, sshhh. It's ok." He murmured soothingly, clutching her tight, putting his chin on the top of her head. He couldn't believe it had worked. He couldn't believe she was still Buffy. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. Her forehead was rigid, her eyes bright yellow, he could see the points of her fangs under her lips. He reached up and slowly stroked a hand over her face. "You're beautiful," he murmured.
She sucked in a gasping breath and slowly her face changed back to human. "You think so?" she asked in a small voice. He nodded and leaned forward, kissing her.
He held her for a few minutes, just letting her get her bearings, then she leaned back and looked around, her nostrils flaring. "I knew you could smell, see, and hear better but this is amazing, and I'm hungry."
"Did…did you want me to get you something?" he asked quietly.
She shook her head. "I can do it. I'm no damsel that faints at the sight of blood," she said as she stood up.
Angel smiled and followed her out of the cave. They walked down the rocky outcrop and into the small strand of dead trees, they picked their way over the dead branches and walked further away from their makeshift home. Angel took the lead and every now and then he pointed things out to her. Showing her how to distinguish smells and sounds, how to tell what was another predator and what was potential prey.
The ground was rough, nothing green was in sight, the wind picked up and dust and dirt started blowing up from the ground creating large dust clouds, making visibility low.
Suddenly Angel stopped, his head turning to the side and his nostrils flaring as he caught a new scent. "Do you smell that?" he asked her quietly.
Buffy followed his actions and nodded. "What is it?"
"A demon,"
"Can we eat it?" she asked, matter of fact.
For a second Angel was jolted out of reality, and he had to remind himself that Buffy was a vampire now. He turned his head towards her, still silent.
Buffy seemed to realize what she had said and winced. "Sorry," she whispered.
He shook his head. "No, no don't be, I need to remember you've changed." He looked right into her hazel eyes, seeing the relief in them at his words.
"Yes, we can," he answered her question, "It tastes a bit like goat. You'll like it." She snorted in amusement and he grinned, knowing what she was laughing at. "Not often you'll here that when you go out for a meal." "No, never."
He chuckled and led her across the plain. Both of them keeping low to the ground. They crouched behind a boulder and waited for the demon to come into view. It was slightly humanoid, but not. Its head was elongated like a deer's, it had large horns coming out from the top of its head like an antelope, but it's eyes were facing forward, it had fangs and it was scaled. It walked on two legs, its hands were humanoid and it even carried weapons. It walked on cloven legs, its tail whipping out behind it like a lizard.
Angel adjusted his grip on his broadsword and shifted his weight to his other foot, ready to spring forward. They only had one sword between them, but neither of them were worried. With a glance at each other they both jumped over the boulder and headed towards the demon, their faces changing.
The demon turned towards them, a growl forming in its throat. It raised its battered sword and turned towards him, focusing on him.
While it was distracted Buffy ducked around and came up behind it, with a snarl she pounced on its back grabbing its head and wrenching it upwards, digging her fangs into its neck. The demon cried out, its sword arm going limp.
Angel stepped forward, grabbed its arm and wrenched the sword from its grip before stepping up next to it, grabbing its shoulders and biting into the other side of its neck. Both of them held the demon tightly between them. It's blood flowing down their throats.
A demon isn't a vampires usual fair, and this type of demon wasn't even seen on earth. But it provided sustenance, enough to get by. Buffy growled softly, and dug her nails into the demons skin.
They drank until its blood stopped flowing, then let the demon fall to the floor. Buffy licked her lips looking at Angel as he did the same. He bent down and retrieved the demon's sword, handing it to Buffy. "Are you ok?" he asked her quietly.
She nodded, "yeah, I'm fine. I can do this."
He stepped forward, wrapped his arms around her waist and bent down to kiss her. He could taste the demons blood on her lips, and feel its lifeblood coursing through her veins, keeping her here, alive next to him.
"I'll be here with you, I'll always be here with you," he said to her.
"I know," she murmured, reaching up and putting her arms around his neck and wriggling against him, "I'm looking forward to it."
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