"You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level."
― Eckhart Tolle

XXXX

"What do you have to say for yourself now?"

"I'm sorry Bigmama."

"Don't shed those tears now, Sasha. You should save them for the day you going to need them the most."

"I was in a bad way Bigmama."

"How bad was it?"

"It broke me. I fell to my knees and asked GOD to forgive me for everything."

"It took that scar on your face?"

"No, Bigmama."

"You a pretty girl. I still say to this day Sasha would be beautiful if she wasn't so downright ugly on the inside. Just mean. Wicked. What you use to call me when I would be sitting on this porch telling you to take your fast ass home to Mama Ms. Jordan?"

"Bald headed, big titty Nobody."

"Who am I to you now?"

"Bigmama."

"What do you want with me?"

"I need a place to stay. I have absolutely no where to go."

"Now, tell me the truth, what happened?"

"I was in a recovery program. A year. I ran out of money and couldn't stay longer."

"What kind of drugs?"

"Crack."

"Oh hell."

"I've been one year clean, Bigmama."

"I am going to tell you this and I will tell it to you plain. If I so much see you with a remote control in your hand going out the door, you better not come back here. You haul anything out of this house it will be you and me out in the street. I promise you this bald headed big titty nobody will put you down. You hear me?"

"Yes, Bigmama."

"You been to jail?"

"Yes, Bigmama."

"What lessons have you learned?"

"I've learned that the true bottom isn't 'til the casket drops."

"I would say that is accurate. You don't want to hit true rock bottom it sounds?"

"My words caused bridges to be burned with most everyone I know."

"Trust me baby your words didn't destroy bridges. It was your actions. You never did me no harm but I am letting you know how your actions will have me flip you off any bridge attached to me and that is to do drugs in this house, deal drugs in this house, or conspire to haul my shit out for drugs or anyone else's shit that live in this house. I have some men up in here. They are in a bad way for different reasons than you. I have some kids up in here. I have a young girl name, Beth and my own grandbaby Michonne. I don't live in disorder or confusion. Chaos stays outside on the bottom step where you are standing right now. I have room for you Sasha if that is what you are in need of but I need to hear your plan. You got to have a plan."

"I was hoping to go to cosmetology school. I was able to get a job washing hair for right now at Jessie's Boutique and Salon. I am really good at makeup and Jessie handles alot of Brides to be. She says I am real good."

"That Jessie Anderson, you talking about, down by Herschel's Market area."

"Yeah. Just about."

"Hmph. I am not sure how I feel about that woman...seems to me she likes keeping up confusion in town and with a man that lives here with his children."

"She likes him is all. Left her husband to make a way for him and his kids but the deputy Sheriff felt a different way about moving so fast. He wasn't ready. He didn't ask Ms. Jessie to leave her husband like that."

"Yes indeed. She sound crazy? Yeah. I just don't know what to make of what you are telling me but I guess the picture will become clearer as the days and months wear on if the Lord says the same. Everybody has a story for why they are here or in a situation. This is suppose to be a Safe Haven. Peace lives here or you find Peace here. Are you sure you want to step foot in my house?"

"I want peace."

"Good. I made some beef stew with plenty of meat and a little kick. I made some fresh bisquits to sop it up with when you get to the bottom of the bowl. You ready Sasha?"

"I am. Thank you Bigmama."