Addendum Two – How Sasuke screwed Everyone Over
Alternative Title: Screw Unhappy Endings
Right, so. The Hidden Leaf is now this utopian paradise, right? No wars on the horizon. No clan politics interfering with one another to get higher positions of power. And absolutely no psychos just waiting to defect and go on a world-domination gig.
Kushina's return had been a shock that had over half the population jammed into the Hidden Leaf emergency shelters for months at a time, but they were slowly adjusting to her presence again, even if she was every bit as traumatizing as they remembered her. This was manageable. They could handle this. The people of the Hidden Leaf were strong.
That plan went out the window about two years after everything settled down. You see, Kushina getting resurrected? They could handle that, no matter how traumatizing that one person was. But a whole clan? What-the-actual-fuck?
Okay, let's rewind just a little. The first sign that something was amiss was a rather sudden increase in raven-haired people in the village. A bunch of grumpy-looking raven-haired people. A bunch of grumpy-looking raven-haired people that would occasionally shoot red-eyed glares at the previously happy citizens of the Hidden Leaf. This wouldn't be so bad if they were all immigrants seeking refuge for whatever reason, but all these people had been recorded as dead. No longer living. For over ten years.
Kakashi had been receiving reports all morning the day this spontaneously occurred, but he hadn't seen anything concrete until a raven-haired ghost just so happened to pop by his office.
Well. What he considered to be a ghost, anyway.
"Kakashi … do you happen to know where the Hokage is?" the young man asked stoically. Despite feeling thoroughly confused himself, he knew to be cordial to old acquaintances… especially when he hadn't had the chance to for roughly a decade.
Kakashi simply stared at his latest visitor. And stared. And stared some more. He didn't blink once, which slightly perturbed his visitor.
"… Kakashi?" The visitor tried again. The silver-haired man sat frozen and unblinking, like a statue. His guest sighed and shook his head. Obviously he wasn't the only one confused with his new lease on life. "… Never mind. I'll see myself out. … I would recommend getting out of the Hokage's seat; she can be quite temperamental for a Sannin, after all."
Kakashi couldn't even find the words to correct the ghost. So with that, the young man stepped out and clicked the door shut, leaving Kakashi in that state. Kakashi would remain like that for hours, being unresponsive to even his Anbu. Kakashi swore that had been Itachi Uchiha speaking to him just now, albeit he seemed to be blind in one eye. Only one thought was going through Kakashi's mind… repeatedly…
What. The. Fuck?!
Minato knew something was up when he accidentally skewered his finger with a dango stick. As a reanimation, Minato didn't have the need to eat, drink, or do any mortal thing… But today he had experienced something he hadn't experienced in years. Hunger.
It was a small pang of hunger, but Minato always had an eye for detail. Not wanting to gorge himself on Ichiraku's like his wife and son, Minato went to the food stall that sold dango. He didn't know how he'd digest the meal as a zombie, but he attempted it anyway. And he'd been surprised when he pricked one of his fingers on the dango skewer – surprised not because he felt some pain from the poke, as he could still feel pain as a reanimation, but surprised because the wound wasn't healing up right away.
And it was bleeding.
Minato narrowed his eyes at the tiny, tiny wound. This called for an investigation. And he couldn't do that very well in a food stall. So, making use of one of the Flying Thunder God seals that he placed in the 'Uzumaki Mansion' as the village had come to call it, Minato flashed away from his table, leaving behind enough money to cover his meager meal.
"KUSHINA!" A raven-haired woman squealed.
"MIKOTO!" Kushina squealed right back, carelessly dropping her groceries. The two ran right at each other and engaged each other in a massive bear hug.
The happy reunion happened in an open street, among a throng of citizens going about their day. Passersby smiled warmly as Kushina seemed to rejoice in meeting someone again. True, Kushina was a ticking time bomb in most cases, but as long as she was happy, she wasn't going to blow up at anyone anytime soon.
But then some curious onlookers got a closer look at just who Kushina was hugging the stuffing out of. The younger people didn't recognize the young woman… but the older generation? The ones old enough to remember a couple decades back? Yep. They looked about to wet themselves – and some plain old civilians did. This only meant one thing.
Mikoto Uchiha was back. That meant the Dynamic Duo was back together. Now forever inseparable.
Of course some people outright fled, leaving the younger generation to take the fallout.
"Mikoto!" A man with stress lines all over his face barked at his wife. As he strode over to the cuddling duo, however, he got a better look at just who Mikoto's friend was. And he paled considerably as it dawned on him that the other woman before him was… "Damn. Well, there go those plans…"
Fugaku Uchiha had of course been speaking about the plans for the Uchiha coup d'état, which seemed to be back on track as everyone that was massacred had now returned to life for whatever inexplicable reason. Seeing how Kushina was back, however, his wife would never grudgingly follow him now. The loss of Kushina had deeply impacted Mikoto, and prevented her from seeking out new friends, seeing as the village suspected them to be the orchestrators behind the Nine-Tails' attack. Which worked out for Fugaku, because Mikoto could have kicked his ass instead of agreeing to the coup.
Whoever thought that Fugaku had any power over his wife needed to be stabbed. Slowly. The only reason that the coup nearly happened wasn't because Itachi had killed them all before it could go through… it was because the coup fell in line with Mikoto's objectives perfectly. She would have made it happen, somehow, someway. Tell her that she couldn't adopt Minato and Kushina's only living progeny, would they…?
On top of that, though, Fugaku had been rather unsettled by the pair of Tailed Beasts that stood watch outside the village walls. If Fugaku didn't know any better, he'd swear that was the Three-Tails and Seven-Tails that were looking at the seemingly new arrivals and wondering if they should flush them all out of the village to personally inspect each and every one of them.
Let it not be said that Fugaku was incapable of reading facial expressions. Fugaku knew those looks, and the Tailed Beasts looked like a pair of overprotective mother hens.
But of course the beasts couldn't really be there. After all, no one in the village seemed to be bothered by their presence. What Fugaku didn't know, however, was the results of the Fourth Shinobi World War. For if he had been there for that, he would have known full well that the Tailed Beasts were very real, and that they were in fact self-designated guardians of the child that saved them.
Kurama insisted everything was under control, but after he ended up extracted from his last Jinchuriki and nearly killing his current one when the boy was born? Yeah. Isobu and Chomei had some serious doubts that Kurama he could sufficiently guard the Meeting Place of all Tailed Beasts.
Thankfully, Fugaku was not aware of these facts, however. For if he had been, he might have committed Seppuku right then and there…
"Knock it off, Pervy Sage!" Naruto roared instinctually, seeing the giant white mane of a giggling pervert that was peeking into the hot springs.
Also on instinct, Jiraiya whipped around at the not-so-shrill-anymore scream of his one remaining student.
"I am not a pervert, you brat! Stop calling me that!" Jiraiya shot back.
"Then stop being a pervert, gramps!"
"C'mere, you little…"
It was only as Jiraiya was shaking the blond that the pair of them realized something – and it wasn't just the fact that Jiraiya only had one arm.
"What the hell is goin' on, y'know?" Naruto all but whispered as Jiraiya came to the same conclusion. Jiraiya was ashamed that he hadn't realized it until sooner, but to be fair, he had been coincidentally brought back near the hot springs, and he'd only been back for a good twenty minutes, so naturally he would fall back into old habits…
Something was very wrong here.
Similar to Kakashi, Obito found himself frozen like a statue as he, too, had a chance encounter with someone from his past. It couldn't be…
"Excuse me, mister, do you know where I could find Minato Namikaze or Kakashi Hatake?" The brunette innocently asked of who she believed to be a stranger.
Obito's thousand yard stare didn't fade away. It looked like her. It sounded like her. She didn't look like she had aged a day since he had last seen her…
"R-R-Rin…?" Obito experimentally tried to use his voice. It couldn't possibly be her, but…
"Hmm? Do you know me, mister?" The brunette cocked her head to the side in contemplation. Oh kami. It was her. Unless this was a very elaborate prank by his bastard teammate, this was Rin Nohara, the person that really gave his life meaning… "Mister?"
And now they were decades apart in age.
"It just isn't faaaaaaiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrr!" Obito frothed at the mouth, raised a fist at the sky, and promptly fell backwards unconscious.
Rin attended to him, of course, being the sweet medic-nin that she was. She couldn't help but wonder who this white-haired guy was, though. The right side of his face looked like it had been crushed at some point, but beyond that, the guy didn't seem much older than Minato-sensei the last time she saw him.
Returning to life was very puzzling for Rin, but that didn't stop her from being courteous to others. Now if only she could find Minato-sensei or Kakashi…
"Asuma…?" Kurenai gaped as she opened the front door to the house she had recently bought for herself and the baby.
"Kurenai…" Asuma mumbled longingly. He smiled and chuckled somewhat awkwardly. "What'd I miss?"
"H-Hayate?!" Yugao gasped. The aforementioned Jonin rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. He coughed somewhat violently, confirming that this was indeed Hayate.
"Hey, Yugao…"
Similar meetings were happening all throughout the Leaf Village. Those who had been caught up in the destruction of the Alliance's HQ, which included Shikaku and Inoichi, were taken in by shell-shocked families. Even Neji and Hizashi were brought back.
Perhaps the most shocking revived shinobi, however, came to visit Tsunade at the old Senju Compound.
"ALRIGHT! Where is Sasuke Uchiha?!" Tsunade barked at Shizune, who was just as caught off guard. She pointed in the general direction of the Hokage Tower with a glare that could melt boulders. "Get Hatake on this! I want Sasuke found now!"
Shizune squeaked and nodded in affirmation.
"Y-Yes, Milady!" Shizune scurried off with Tonton in her arms.
Tsunade turned her attention back to the pair of visitors. She tried to put on a congenial smile as best as she could, though the two males could tell Tsunade was very, very distressed. And who wouldn't be? If people like Dan and Nawaki were getting revived, that could only mean that a whooole lot of people were being brought back.
The only way that could happen is if a Certain Someone used some sleight of hand and kept a Rinnegan for himself when he used Amaterasu to burn the things…
This meant that the peace they worked so hard to achieve would be lost. Because no matter how well they tried to hide those recently returned to life, some village would find out. And then all hell would break loose, because the Hidden Leaf was in possession of the Rinnegan, and they weren't sharing.
Tsunade would be having words with the young Uchiha about this… Some very. Violent. Words.
Somewhere in a dark underground cavern beneath the Leaf Village, Sasuke stared down at the corpse of the White Zetsu uncaringly. A single Rinnegan was implanted in one of the Zetsu's eye sockets. His mission was at last complete. Sasuke had tried to leave the village, but oh no. They had to keep him here.
The initial plan was of course to have his clan revived outside the village, where they wouldn't be persecuted by the Selfish Senju and their bleeding heart garbage. Having Orochimaru perform the Reanimation Jutsu on his whole clan and then using the Rinne Tensei to restore them to life in those bodies would have been child's play.
But then Karin pointed out that the whole world would be in an uproar that he had lied about destroying the Rinnegan, and then the Uchiha Clan would be hunted down and killed again. While Sasuke couldn't care less about what other people thought of him, she did have a point about his clan possibly getting hunted down. Sasuke refused to let that happen. Why should this village of people gorged on Senju ideals be the only ones with a happy ending? His family had been slaughtered for their sake, damn it!
And so Team Taka held off on reviving the Uchiha Clan. They bided their time, and harvested personal DNA from all around the world for the sake of bringing them back to the mortal realm with the Reanimation Jutsu, and then reviving them with the Rinne Tensei. It was a foolproof plan. His clan would get to live again, and everyone would be too absorbed in welcoming back their loved ones to care about his Little White Lie.
Sasuke had been very selective in who was brought back to life. Only those who were less likely to start another War would be brought back. That meant little to no Akatsuki members brought back – Konan and Yahiko being exceptions to this; Nagato was sealed away in Itachi's Totsuka Blade. Two years of meticulous research, and Sasuke had determined the ones most deserving of a second chance at life.
Some DNA was a pain in the ass to retrieve, however. Jiraiya's corpse was irretrievable, but thankfully those Toad Summons had kept a tiny bit of Jiraiya's DNA… for whatever reason. Sasuke had never been more thankful for the Snakes and Toads mending burned bridges after the death of Manda.
And so it went. DNA was harvested from all over the world, Orochimaru performed some operation on hundreds of leftover White Zetsu corpses to temporarily revive them and use them as sacrifices, and Team Taka ensured that Orochimaru would perform the Reanimation Jutsu when the time was ripe. When the dead had been brought back to the mortal realm, Sasuke hypnotized the White Zetsu he had forcibly implanted the Rinnegan in, and the creature revived every single Reanimation.
Was it ethical? Hell no. But they were ninja, not glorified samurai. Would there be far-reaching effects that would come to bite Sasuke in the ass? He couldn't care less. If everyone couldn't be grateful that their loved ones were back, then that was entirely their problem.
True Uchiha do not regret their actions, no matter the potential consequences. That's just how they rolled.
Author's Note:
Well. That was fun. Who's for Chinese? XD
Of course I'm going to continue this now. It would be evil of me not to. So many fun interactions ahead. I barely touched the tip of the iceberg with all the returns here, since I wanted to show off so many people… Next time we might even see some reactions from the other Great Nations. I dunno. I didn't get to Sakumo yet, but I think he's the only unmentioned one that I didn't get to in the Hidden Leaf… Besides Iruka's parents maybe. :P
Hope you enjoyed, my duckies!
Review Replies:
TheSilenceIsVast: Hehehe…
reydrago: Well, here's one now. :D
Fallen's Child: Glad you enjoyed. :D
Kris Awesomeness: Kakashi might very well suffer… for not keeping an eye on Sasuke… Haha.
FictionLover12: My bad! I suspected I had the wrong idea, but it was a bit late when I realized that… So, my apologies.
Black' Victor Cachat: Yeah, I kinda marvel at Tora's 'evolution' sometimes. But it's much more fun to exaggerate. :D As for Sakura… Ehhh. I probably could have written out a scene for that; the gist was that it was 'for old times' sake.' She didn't hit him with a Chakra-infused punch or anything. Just a love tap. But you're right, of course. XD Do realize the ulterior motive of keeping Kakashi preoccupied… This is Obito, remember. Shared Kamui dimension and all that. Mwahahaha. :D I considered going that route… but then this hit me like a bag of bricks, wielded by an enraged Tsunade/Sakura/Kushina/some diabolical combination of the three. This is muuuch more fun. XD
Slmgr101: Glad you're enjoying it so far! :D