Left Behind

a/n: I had a few qualms with the last chapter. As much as I really wanted to make Chapter 3 a cliffhanger (a part of me wanted to end that chapter with Zero "lunging forward"), I really had no room to add everything else in this chapter, so I kept it in Chapter 3.

Vampire Knight © Matsuri Hino

When I opened my eyes, my first thought was of a glimpse of my own blood.

My hand automatically reached for my neck, only to find a bandage patch on the space between my neck and collarbone. Perplexed, my eyes instinctively searched for traces of blood on my nightgown and bed sheets, but they were pristine and free from any stains of blood. I winced as I tried to make sense of what had happened. I was in my room… and Zero visited me… and he was telling me things I didn't understand… and then… My mind raced from the memory of his hateful eyes to the memory of the sight of my own blood.

"Ah, Sayori-kun. You're awake."

I flinched and turned to find the Chairman standing by my doorway. "Ch-Chairman Cross…," I stuttered with wide eyes. What was the Chairman doing here?

He smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm okay. But why are you—"

"—Good. Zero and I were worried about you."

"Zero-kun…," I whispered.

Chairman Cross gestured me to relax. "He told me you weren't feeling well. You were dizzy and fell unconscious. We took you to the infirmary, and you were left with a nasty bruise on your neck," he explained with a sigh. "Kaito told me about the incident in the park. I fear you may have overexerted yourself, so perhaps it would be best of you rested until you've fully recuperated."

I blinked rapidly, not sure what to make of all this. The Chairman's explanation confused me. "I fell…?" I repeated, my eyebrows furrowing. "B-But… I remember blood. I remember a lot of blood! A-And Zero-kun… He…"

"It was probably all a bad dream, Sayori-kun. There's no need to dwell on it any longer."

I wanted to say more, but I didn't want to risk sounding like I was completely mad.

The Chairman continued to smile reassuringly. "You must be tired. I'll take my leave," he said. "You're excused from your classes today, so just rest, Sayori-kun."

I forced out a smile and nod, but when Chairman Cross shut the door, my smile faded. The Chairman is lying. I know he is. I'm remembering something he doesn't want me to remember. Come on, Sayori. Think, I told myself. What really happened last night? Remember! I was in my room… and Zero visited me… and he was telling me these things I didn't understand… and then… Blood. How did the blood happen? And why was there so much of it? I scrunched my eyes shut as I desperately tried to recall last night's events. Zero… He… He did something. Something happened. He called out my name, didn't he…? And the blood… Zero… He…

My eyes widened.

Zero bit me.

He bit me, and there was blood everywhere, and…

I clutched my blanket around myself. Why was the Chairman lying? I shook my head. I don't remember falling, but it was difficult remembering anything. I pressed my lips together. Zero did bite me… right? I remembered the blood, so… My eyes narrowed as I glanced at the bandage patch.

Without a second thought, I ripped it off. It hurt doing that, but what I found hurt even more. There was no bruise. In the space between my neck and my collarbone were two distinct and deep holes. I reluctantly pressed my fingers against them. A chill ran down my spine.

Zero really did… He…

I lifted up my head. I hastily put back the bandage patch over the two holes and jumped out of bed with only one thought in mind.

… Zero.

Zero wasn't at the horse stables or at a desolate area in one of the corridors or in the courtyard like I thought he'd be. From what my classmates told me, he skipped classes and didn't show up all day. He wasn't at the Chairman's office either. There was really only one other place I could think of—Zero's apartment, the apartment he convinced Chairman Cross to allow him to have in the city. No one really knows about this. I had never been there before myself, but when I went shopping with Zero once a few months ago, he pointed the apartment out when we passed by it. That had to be it. I was somewhat hesitant to venture into the city after that vampire attack yesterday, but right now, under the circumstances, it was least of my problems. Right now, Zero mattered to me the most.

I stood by the door to his apartment for what felt like the longest time in the world. I didn't know why, but I couldn't find the courage to knock on his door. I just lingered there, weighing over what I should do, what I should say. Nothing came to mind.

"What are you doing here?" I heard Zero's voice from the other side of the door. "You shouldn't be here… Wakaba."

"Eh…?" The sound of Zero's voice made me flinch. How did he know I was here?

"I know it's you. I can smell you."

I frowned. Smell me? Weird, but I decided to ignore what he had just said. "Zero-kun, we need to talk," I told him quietly.

"There's nothing to talk about," Zero replied.

He was shutting me out again. How typical of him. I pursed my lips and twisted the knob on the door, only to find that it was unlocked. I opened the door to find Zero slumped on his bed with a metal container in his hand. Small round-like pills were scattered on his bed and the floor. I was a little disturbed by the sight of him in such a state. Zero must have noticed my staring because he avoided my gaze.

"What are you doing here, Wakaba?" he questioned me. "Why are you here?"

Strange. It felt strange. It was like our roles were reversed. This time, I was the one visiting Zero. This time, I was the one who was considered a bother. I wasn't sure what to make of this abrupt change.

"We need to talk about what happened last night," I repeated firmly.

"Nothing happened last night."

"You might have gotten the Chairman to go along with that little lie of yours, but I remember what happened. Maybe you should have erased my memory while you had the chance… because I'm not leaving until we talk about this," I persisted. I turned and shut the door behind me, locking it.

I looked over my shoulder and stole a glance at Zero, who slightly twitched by my bold move. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to fix things, Zero-kun," I told him with a sigh. "So, why are you trying to pushing me away?"

He glared at me. "I'm pushing you away, Wakaba… because I'm still hungry," Zero gritted his teeth.

I flinched. I didn't expect that. "You… You won't bite me again, Zero-kun," I insisted, shaking my head. "I know you won't."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because I believe in you… even if you don't."

Zero stared at me, meeting my gaze for once. "I was never always like this. I was turned into one when I was a kid. The Chairman tried to prolong my humanity for as long as he could," he explained. "Yuuki… was my victim, Wakaba. She let me feed off of her to quench my growing blood thirst. Now killing vampires and the tablets are the only things that can barely sustain myself."

"What are those, anyway?" I muttered, wanting to distract myself from all of these revelations. "Those pills…"

"They're blood tablets. They're a substitute for blood to ease the hunger of vampires."

I narrowed my gaze. This was a lot to take, maybe even a little harder than everything Zero told me last night. "Zero-kun, what did you mean yesterday?" I asked, taking a step forward. "What did you mean when you said… that I was a replacement for Yuuki?"

Zero looked down at the metal container in his hands. "I thought… that if I began relying on you, then little by little, you could replace my longing for Yuuki," he admitted quietly.

Yuuki… Her absence continued to pain him as much as it pained me. "You're suffering, aren't you, Zero-kun?" I realized. "Without her… Without Yuuki…"

Zero gulped down more blood tablets. I clasped my hands together as I decided something deep inside myself.

"I'm suffering too. I lied about yesterday, Zero-kun. I'm not fine. I never was. I'm lonely too," I reassured him softly. I walked over to Zero and placed my hands over the metal container he held.

Zero lifted his head too look at me. "Wakaba?"

All this time, Zero had been suffering too. Never once had it occurred to me that he was the lonely one with Yuuki gone. I knew he missed Yuuki. I just never realized the extent of his yearning. Never once had it occurred to be that Zero had been in pain this entire time, struggling to retain what little humanity he had left. I really had been blind. Blind and selfish. And foolish too.

I inhaled stiffly and turned away. My fingertips climbed to my clothes, and I began unbuttoning my uniform. After I removed my black blazer and red ribbon, I moved my fingers to unbutton my white collared shirt when I felt Zero's hands from behind me, gripping onto my arms.

"What do you think you're doing, Wakaba?" he pressed.

"Zero-kun…," I said. "Take my blood." Zero spun me around. He glared at me intensely, searching for answers. "I may not be able to quench your thirst, but if it stops your suffering… even for a little while… then—"

"—Wakaba… You just said you believed in me. You said I wasn't going to bite you. … I'm not going to bite you."

"That was before I realized how much you've been going through. I think we've both been being selfish, Zero-kun."

I gently removed his hands from my arms. I continued to unbutton my white collared shirt half way and let it slip off of my shoulder and sag by my waist, revealing my bra and midriff. Zero turned away. It was probably out of modesty. Never in my life had I ever exposed myself like this before. I should have felt embarrassed, but I didn't. I felt calm. Absolutely calm and utterly determined.

"You don't know what you're saying," Zero tried to convince me. "This is enough. This—your company… That was enough for me."

"But it's not enough for you now, isn't it?"

"…"

"Let me do this."

"Why? We… We're not even friends."

I smiled at Zero. "We may not be friends, but we don't have to be friends to do this. We'll just give and take. There's all there is to it," I told him, placing my hands against his arms. "Besides… I'm Yuuki's replacement, remember? So, go ahead, Zero-kun."

Zero lowered his head and pressed his forehead against mine. "Wakaba…," he muttered.

I looked up at him and continued to smile. "Let's suffer together, Zero-kun…," I whispered. "… Okay?"

He paused for a moment as our eyes met. Then Zero complied and sank his teeth into my neck once more.

[rxr]