CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Sins of the Past
Chapter Four
Grissom ended up staying with Sara, knowing that the group would cover for them. Sara was lying on her side, her tired eyes looking up at Grissom. He touched her face gently.
"Go to sleep, honey," he told her, "I'll be right here."
The woman closed her eyes and Grissom leaned back against the headboard of her bed, watching over her as she slept. She had a strength and passion that he had always admired and now, he admired her even more. Sara's face tightened in her sleep and she let out a muffled cry. Grissom automatically reached out and touched her hand.
When Sara visibly relaxed and sighed, Grissom felt his heart melt. This woman had been and would always be his undoing. But she was slowly slipping away from him with each case and each day.
The next day, Grissom talked Sara into taking the day off. It had taken him over an hour to convince her that she didn't need to work and she'd still been unhappy with the decision when he left. Now she had to find a way to keep herself busy. That's why when Nick, who also had the day off, called and offered to take her out for a drink, she accepted.
The pair went to Club Rio, sidled up to the bar and ordered drinks. The music was deafening and they had to shout to be heard over the rock music that blasted through the club. The bartender placed their drinks in front of them; his: a beer, hers: a Jack and Coke, and Nick paid for both. They people watched as they sipped their drinks, when they finished, Sara studied Nick with a grin.
"Wanna dance?" she asked.
"Sure." Nick set down his glass, got off his stool, and offered his hand to Sara.
The woman took his hand and got up. Nick gave her a twirl before he led her out onto the crowded dance floor. He brought her close enough that they could dance and not get separated. When the music changed from hard metal to a bouncy punk-ish song, Sara smiled and got into it, the music freeing her. She swiveled her hips with the beat and moved instinctively closer to Nick as the floor became flooded with more dancing bodies.
Between songs, the pair had a few more drinks; this time, tequila shots. The next time, they had margaritas. After their drinks, they returned to the dance floor to work off the liquor in their systems.
The song changed to the saucy Latin beat of Sting's Desert Rose and Sara, deeply into the music and the atmosphere, slipped a leg between Nick's and moved against him. Nick responded by wrapping an arm around her waist and moving in perfect harmony against her. Their eyes met and Sara felt a jolt run through her. She had never really been attracted to Nick, but being pressed up against him like that…she felt like being reckless and jumping his bones. By the look in his eyes, Nick felt the same and was just as confused as she was. He dipped his head down the two inches that separated them in height and spoke in her ear:
"C'mon, let's get out of here."
Sara nodded and as she parted from him. Nick grabbed her hand, ensuring that he wouldn't loose her in the insanely large throng of dancing bodies. Once outside, they made their way to his Tahoe in silence and remained that way as they pulled away.
After a fifteen-minute silent car ride, Nick and Sara arrived at her apartment building. The Texan parked and let the engine idle as she unbuckled her seatbelt.
"Wanna come in?" she asked, "We should talk."
"Yeah." He said after a slight pause.
He killed the engine and they got out of the SUV. The duo walked to the door; Sara unlocked it and they both went inside. She flicked on the light as Nick shut the door behind them. Sara tossed her keys on the kitchenette counter and headed over to the couch in the living room. She sat down and kicked off her shoes, Nick followed her example.
"So, Nick, what happened to you that you gave me that look yesterday?"
Nick's eyebrows rose and he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Wow, umm, that was blunt."
"It's a flaw." She shrugged and met his eyes in sympathy, her voice went soft, "Who hurt you, Nick?"
Nick cleared his throat but it tightened none-the-less. I have to tell her. "I was, uh, nine-years-old…just like you." He couldn't stop the tears that filled his eyes, "She was a last minute baby-sitter and…she…she…raped me." The last two words came out as a whisper.
He bowed his head and sobbed softly. He had finally said the words, words that he'd never allowed himself to connect to his experience. Sara's revelation had released him, allowed him to acknowledge something that he hadn't been able to, those 25 years ago. Sara moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his wide shoulders, allowing him to hide his face in her shoulder. She held him until his body stopped shuddering with sobs.
"I know, Nicky." She whispered, "I'm here…no more tears…we're strong now. We survived." Tears fell down her cheeks and mingled with his.
Nick pulled back just far enough to turn his head to look at her. He cupped her cheek with one hand, his thumb wiping away her tears. Then he leaned over and placed a light kiss on her lips in thanks. When they parted, their eyes clashed for a moment, and his hand curled around to the back of her neck. Their lips met again, sharing a deeper, more passionate kiss. He pulled her into his lap as they kissed again and again.
When they parted, both were panting with the effort to drawn in air. Sara met his eyes and nodded, unable to bring herself to say the words. Nick picked her up and carried her into her bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and they shared a small, almost shy smile. They kissed again as they undressed each other, in a rush of hands and flying clothes. The touch of his warm skin against hers brought her comfort and her inner demons were chased away when he entered her. Their eyes held as his hips picked up a steady rhythm.
An unspoken understanding moved through them; this joining was more about comfort than it was about sex. And it was the only time that they would ever be together like this. When they were finished, Nick collapsed on top of her, tired and spent. Sara wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him as her body stopped trembling with the aftershocks. After a few minutes, when his body became too heavy to remain on top of her, she shifted uncomfortably and Nick pulled out of her to roll onto his side.
His hand gently touched her cheek and a small smile graced his lips.
"Thank you." He whispered, "Thank you for chasing away my demons."
"And thank you for taking mine away."
He rested his forehead against hers, the moment binding them together. Their friendship was stronger now, not ruined. They would acknowledge that they had had sex, but they wouldn't get hung up on it. When Sara pulled away from Nick, he felt confused.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She smiled as she slipped out of the bed. Sara turned around and gave him a reassuring smile.
"Nothing." She laughed softly, "I was in the wet spot and I'm going to get a towel, because I don't feel like changing the sheets."
Nick chuckled. "Sorry about that."
His laughter trailed off as his eyes caught the glimpse of color and design that decorated her upper thigh.
"You have a tattoo." He stated, in awe and surprise.
"I have three. One on my foot, one on my ankle, then the one on my thigh."
"It's a butterfly."
"Yeah. It's a very common tattoo choice."
"I've seen butterfly tattoos before, but not like that."
"That's because mine's in the shape and color of a real butterfly, not just what the artist felt like drawing."
"What kind is it?"
"It's an Adonis Blue Butterfly."
"Wait a minute…isn't that Griss's favorite butterfly?"
Sara's brow furrowed. "How do you know that?"
"I've seen that butterfly in his office."
"Oh."
Sara looked down at her feet. Now that Grissom had been brought up, she felt awkward and shy.
"Did something happen between you two?" Nick asked softly.
"We were lovers, back in San Francisco. It was a while ago."
With that the woman turned on her heel and went across the hall to her bathroom and got a towel out of her cabinet. Her relationship with Grissom relationship might have been a while ago, but she still felt the burn from their break up. She wasn't sure how long she'd been standing there when Nick walked into the bathroom and found her holding the towel to her chest, her gaze far away. He embraced her from behind, his arms encircling her waist, his eyes noting the faded scars that criss-crossed her back.
"I'm sorry I asked." He said, "I've always thought there was something between you guys. He doesn't trust anyone easily or completely. Yet, he trusted you completely; he told us that when he informed us you would be investigating Holly's death. Also, we've all seen the way he looks at you. He still loves you."
"I know he does. But he's too afraid to do anything about it. We were together for a few years Nicky and then he left me and moved to Vegas." Tears fell down her cheeks.
Gentle hands turned her around and wiped away her tears. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"No more talking about Grissom tonight," he said, deciding that it would be best to forget about everything else but them for the time being. "Let's get some sleep."
Sara nodded and they re-entered her bedroom. She spread out the large towel she had almost forgotten she was holding and Nick climbed back into bed. The woman shifted nervously on her feet.
"I like to listen to music when I go to sleep, is that okay with you?"
"Of course."
Sara left the room and turned on her stereo. She turned up the volume and returned to the bedroom. She got into bed and lay beside Nick. The pair drifted off to sleep, waking off and on, through out the night, as nightmares haunted their dreams. In the end, they slept facing each other, their hands laced in a strong grip; hoping that, that would somehow keep the bad dreams at bay.
"I think we should check on Sara." Greg said as he walked out of an interrogation room with Grissom and Brass after the end of their shift.
They had been interviewing a potential suspect that had been picked up earlier. Unfortunately, he wasn't their guy. He had a rock solid alibi. The case was getting more and more frustrating. Yet another victim had been reported that day.
"Yeah." Catherine agreed, her voice shocking them all.
The guys turned around to see Catherine and Warrick standing together in the hall behind them.
"I was going to later. I want to make sure she's not hitting the bottle. That girl was headed towards a burnout before…and now with this…" she trailed off, shaking of her head.
"She promised me that she'd curb her drinking, but after yesterday, I'm not sure that she'll be able to," Grissom acknowledged.
"Why are we still talking then?" asked Brass.
"No shit. I'll drive." Warrick offered.
Within fifteen minutes, they were once again walking into Sara's semi-quiet apartment. Like before, music played through the uninhabited rooms.
"What if she's asleep?" Warrick demanded in a stage whisper as he shut the door behind them. "Y'know she doesn't like to be disturbed."
"We're here outta concern." Greg replied, "She'll forgive us."
The group approached the closed bedroom door. Grissom, who was leading the way, again, opened the door slowly and stopped dead. Catherine, curious, pushed him out of the way so everyone else could get through. The sight that greeted them was shocking, but for Grissom, it was like a bullet through the heart. Sara lay asleep in her bed beside Nick, their naked bodies barely covered by a sheet.
"Shit!" whispered Brass. Catherine thoughts echoed his sentiments exactly.
But her heart clenched as she saw that the pair were holding hands like two frightened children, not entwined like lovers. And as she looked at Grissom, she knew he hadn't noticed that detail. She bit her lower lip as Sara moved, stirring slightly as sleep had left her. Despite the intimacy of the previous night, Sara was self conscious enough to hold the sheet to her as she sat up slowly. She rubbed her eyes sleepily with her free hand and finally noticed her visitors. When her brain processed what she was seeing, Sara's eyes went wide and she felt a shock go through her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaimed.
Her expression contorted from surprise to sorrow as she looked at Grissom. Thunderous anger played across his featured and his eyes blazed. Nick sat up, feeling Sara's absence from beside him. His gaze followed hers.
"Oh, shit!" he cursed.
Sara felt tears sting her eyes and she started to rise to go to Grissom, before she realized that such an action would expose Nick. Collapsing back onto her bed, she pleaded with him.
"Griss, please. This isn't what it looks like."
He gave her a cold look that chilled her and cut to the bone. Then he turned his back on her and pushed his way between Warrick and Greg. Silence filled the room and the lyrics of the song suddenly became clear to everyone in the room.
And I missed the last song
And I'll miss you
And this time, this one's for us
I missed the last song
I blame myself for just standing there too long
I missed the last song.