"You need to reply to the letter no matter what you decide". Joe stated as Vera shut the drawer.
"Oh do I now". She snapped "All my life I have had people telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing, well you know what Joe, I will decide if I am going to reply or not".
Joe shook his head "That letter took guts Vera, the least it deserves is a response".
Vera raised her eyebrows. "Healed wounds".
"Wounds don't heal unless they are treated" Joe stated "and judging by your reaction to the letter I would say they are anything but healed, so there's no point kidding anyone let alone yourself".
Vera sat at the table and placed her head in her hands.
"Peter" she whispered as she lifted her head while a tear escaped and made its way slowly down her cheek.
Joe nodded as he watched her intently.
"I loved him". Her lip wobbled as she bit down on it.
Joe gently took her hand and held her fingers as she wrapped them around his thumb, while he waited for her to continue.
"We started the force at the same time, we trained together, we were best friends". Vera released her grip on Joe and ran her fingers through her hair. "I fell in love with him".
"And the feeling wasn't mutual" Joe asked.
"It was" Vera replied sharply "It was, we were seeing each other for a while, a long while the future, we were making plans for the future".
Vera shook her head as she tried once again to compose herself. "He died, on a job, it should have been me, he was covering for me".
"You can't blame yourself" Joe whispered.
"I do Joe, every single day. He was so kind always looking out for me, he protected me. We were called to a disturbance and he was stabbed. If I had of gone to the call instead of him I would have waited for backup and he would still be here ".
"You don't know that Vera, no matter what happened it wasn't your fault, it was the lunatic with the knife". Joe explained.
Vera shook her head as she closed her eyes. "I had just told him I was pregnant, that's why he went instead of me. After that day things were never to be the same again. Weeks went past and I eventually told my Dad I was pregnant. He went ballistic, told me to get rid as I could barely look after myself at that time".
"That's awful" Joe whispered
Vera nodded in agreement "It was far too late to 'get rid' as he put it".
"So you had the baby" Joe asked.
Vera nodded as she gave a small smile "I had the baby, I couldn't look at her but I will never forget hearing her cry. I knew if I saw her I wouldn't want to give her away so it was easier to just pretend it wasn't happening".
"Did you think about keeping her" Joe asked.
"When I thought it was going to be me and Peter, there was no doubt, but I couldn't bring a baby into that house, not the way he went on, not that he would have given me that option, he made it quite clear what I needed to do. He resented me so he certainly wasn't going to have an illegitimate grandchild."
Joe reached out and took Vera's hand again. "I am so sorry, that must have been awful".
Vera gave his hand a squeeze "I just blocked it out , it makes life more bearable".
"Didn't you want to find her" Joe asked quizzically.
Vera poured herself a whisky and took a large gulp. She placed the glass on the table "I am not what she is looking for".
"You are exactly what she is looking for" Joe explained as he watched her pour another whisky.
"She is looking for a family, a glamorous mother, siblings...a story Joe, not me, not this".
Joe smiled "She's looking for you, an amazing caring woman who is fantastic at what she does".
Vera gave a warm smile. "She will be disappointed if I turn up, I know that much, anyway Joe, don't you have criminals to catch.
Joe stood up and placed his cup in the sink. "Open those curtains and let some light in, and Vera you know where I am if you need me".
"Thanks". She whispered.
Joe made his way to the door as Vera followed. He turned before leaving and tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear he gently kissed her on the cheek. "I would be made up if you were my mother".
Vera's eyes welled up and she swallowed hard keeping the tears at bay as Joe disappeared.
The next Joe arrived just as the morning briefing had started. Rushing to his desk he hung his coat over his chair and quickly made his way over to the team. He tried his best to hide his smile as he realised his boss was back.
"Michael Sykes, I want to know all of his movements over the last week, Kenny I want you to check all CCTV on West Street on Friday night, Joe you are with me we are going to give him a call". Vera stated as she drew on the white board.
Joe gathered two cardboard cups from the hot drinks van and made his way back to his car. Handing a cup to Vera she placed her two hands around it and enjoyed the warmth.
"Do you think he is guilty". Joe asked as he lifted the plastic lid and blew on the hot coffee.
Vera nodded as she carefully took a sip "I have no doubt Joe, but we need to be careful before we bring him in". Vera began blowing on the hot drink as she looked out at the view from the car.
"I have replied to the letter " Vera stated not wishing to make eye-contact.
Joe turned to her "Really, oh Vera that's fantastic".
She pursed her lips "We will see".
Joe watched Vera as she stared out of the window. "It will be fine".
Vera shook her head "I don't think you have any idea how terrified I am".
"Probably not half as terrified her" Joe replied "But if she is anything like you then you have absolutely nothing to worry about". Joe paused and smiled "or maybe you have".
Vera smiled as she hit Joe's arm "Cheeky bugger".