A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, they mean a lot. I'm glad you're all enjoying the story.

Chapter Four

When her cell phone starts blaring Katy Perry – she really needs to do something about that, both the volume level and maybe it's time to change to a new song – at 2:46 in the morning on Christmas Day Tina's heart sinks. Because she knows what this is before she answers it.

"Hello?" she says hastily as she untangles herself from the bed and darts into the washroom, not wanting to wake Mike up. Her parents letting her stay over at his house for Christmas wasn't so much an accomplishment. It was his parents agreeing to it that was such a big deal. And she doesn't want to ruin it by waking the house up in the wee hours of the morning.

"Hey, look, its Mindy again!" Santana's taken to naming the voices she recognizes from the call center, finding it easier to talk to them if she gives them a name; that way she knows who she's told what. When she gets someone she doesn't know she has to start from the beginning, but with the people she recognizes she can jump right in.

It's a sad thought, really.

But Tina is Mindy, the quiet one. The other two people - actual people who work for the helpline, unlike Tina – that Santana recognizes she's dubbed Geoffrey and Alice.

"Amy," Tina replies softly. "Merry Christmas." She had to give a fake name for Santana simply to keep herself from saying the Latina's name when trying to comfort her. She's almost slipped up way too many times to be called lucky anymore.

"Ugh, whatever."

Tina frowns as she sits down on the side of the bath tub; she had been hoping Santana's happiness from Sectionals would last through until the New Year. She deserved that.

"Not so merry?" she asks gently.

"No. Not the fuck at all." Santana gets sidetracked for a moment, "But how can it be merry for you, Mindy? You're working at a call center on fucking Christmas morning. Who'd you piss off to score that shit?"

Tina takes a slow breath, "No one. I… I want to be here. I want to help you."

"Whatever."

"Not doing so well?"

Santana says, "No," and Tina can hear the tears she's holding back. No is an understatement.

"Did you want to talk about it?"

"I… I guess," Santana says meekly, her bravado fading. "That's… that's why I keep calling. To talk to someone."

"And I'm here to listen."

"Right… so. Brittany. I'm losing her," she sniffles before she continues. "She wrapped my Christmas gift in the wrong colour."

Tina takes a moment to glance in the mirror and check that she isn't suffering from a head wound, because, what? "I… I'm not following."

"She always wraps my Christmas gifts in green. For birthdays I wrap hers in yellow and she wraps mine in red. And for Christmas I wrap hers in pink and she wraps mine in green. We've been doing it since we were four. But, last night, the box she gave me, it was stupid red wrapping paper with penguins with bow ties on it."

She can tell Santana is trying not to cry, but Tina is on the opposite side of the spectrum, trying not to smile at how cute the sentiment is.

"It's never happened before, her using the wrong colour."

"Maybe she forgot? Maybe she didn't have the right colour?"

"No," Santana says so viciously that Tina can picture her shaking her head. "It's whatever this stupid thing is that's going on. I can't fucking get a grip on my feelings and she… she's forgetting me."

"She isn't forgetting you."

"Yes, she is! I can see it. Every time she holds that cripple's hands I can see her forgetting me. We used to be so close. You know I haven't been over to her house in months? And she hasn't been to mine? We're just pretending to still be friends at school, but there's nothing else.

"It was so much easier before. We had a rule. Sex isn't dating. We date whoever we can to help us get higher on the social ladder. We sleep with them if necessary. But we mainly slept with each other. Sex isn't dating. Sex isn't dating. There were no feelings involved. It was just something we did." Santana's talking really fast now, her words blurring together like the tears Tina knows are sliding down her cheeks.

"I mean, yeah, it's probably not what every pair of best friends do." No, Tina thinks, probably not. "But it just happened the one time, we were sneaking stuff from my dad's liquor cabinet and we were all giggly and she just leaned over and kissed me."

Tina's never heard this part of the story before and she's not sure if she should stop Santana or not. Santana thinks she's safely relaying this information to a stranger somewhere in another state, not a girl she knows and goes to school with.

"And then it just kept happening, the kissing. And then we were sleeping together. And it wasn't about the feelings. It was just about the sex. Making each other feel good. We had it totally worked out." Santana makes a frustrated noise, and Tina figures she's violently trying to wipe her tears away with the heel of her hand. She frowns at the mental image. She doesn't really like to see anyone cry, much less on Christmas.

"But of course, I went and fucking blew it and now I can't so much as touch her hand without feeling like I've been set on fire. And she acts like she doesn't notice. Like it isn't that big a deal, dating him and only being friends with me. She acts like it isn't killing her."

A strangled sob breaks through, but before Tina can respond the Latina is talking again, "Oh God, what if it isn't killing her the way it's killing me? What if she likes it better like this? What if she never wants to go back? What if she-"

"S-Amy," Tina catches herself, "From the way you talk about this girl, I think she cares about you just as much as you care about her. I don't think this is easy for her, either."

It isn't. She watches Brittany sometimes too. Brittany is better at putting on a happy face than Santana is, but Tina can see the sad glances she sends Santana's way every so often. The strain on their friendship is killing the both of them.

"But it's my fault!" Santana insists tearfully, "Twice over! I'm the one that developed feelings, and I'm the one that shot her down."

Tina chooses to deal with each of those separately.

First of all, "Amy, I don't think you're the only one who developed feelings. You two wouldn't have gotten this far if she didn't feel something too."

"Brittany feels something with everyone! That's the whole point! That's who she is! She's sunshine and kittens and I'm fucking dark storm clouds."

Except when you're around her, Tina adds silently to herself. You used to be sunshine whenever you were around her.

"Amy-"

"You don't know her. Brittany developing feelings – whatever kind they are – isn't the problem. She knew the rules. No feelings involved. Keep them to yourself. I'm the one that developed feelings where I shouldn't have. I'm the one that fell in l-" she chokes on her own words, crying.

Tina wishes she wasn't sitting in Mike's bathroom in her pyjamas holding her cell phone. She wishes she were sitting next to Santana, able to rub her back and whisper soft words to calm her down.

It hurts, knowing Santana is crying. But it hurts more knowing she can't see it, that Santana won't allow anyone to see her cry. That she's hiding behind anonymity. Tina wants to reach out and comfort the girl so badly.

She settles for murmuring words of encouragement into the phone until Santana's tears lessen.

Santana speaks again after a while, her voice raw with emotion, "I'm the one that fell in love with my best friend. With my girl best friend. I did this too myself."

Tina's never heard Santana use that word before in their late night conversations. Love. She's in love with Brittany.

It's pretty clear. Even if she and the Latina weren't talking like this, Tina's pretty sure she'd be able to realize the two were meant for each other.

But, Tina thinks, it's a big step that she can say it out loud. That she's in love with Brittany. Even if it is only to a stranger and not to Brittany herself, it is a big step for Santana.

Santana's ranting to herself again, "I caused this. I did this. Stupid, stupid. I shouldn't have blown up at her."

"What happened?" Tina asks. Santana has mentioned this before, this one big thing that happened that set the ball into motion, that set Brittany dating Artie the first time around, but she's never come out and put to words what happened.

"Oh no, we aren't going there. I've locked that away. It happened and I'm dealing with it, but I do not want to bring it up and relive it. It was hard enough the first time."

Tina tries to think back to when Brittany and Artie started dating the first time – sometime after Finn's whole I've found God thing maybe? She can't remember exactly. She and Artie weren't on the best terms then. They've gotten past it, but back then it was still a little rough.

But she doesn't remember Brittany and Santana having a big, huge fight. When Santana was feuding with Mercedes, everyone knew about it. When Santana was battling with Quinn, everyone knew about it.

But Tina doesn't remember Santana fighting with Brittany. They may have gotten a little tense, but the dynamic they portrayed to everyone never changed. They fought silently, standing next to each other with fake smiles on their faces.

Kind of like what they're doing now.

She wonders how many other times the pair have fought and no one noticed. She hopes it isn't many.

If Santana isn't ready to talk about whatever she thinks is her fault that caused the mess she's in, then Tina won't push her. She wants to know, wants to try and help, but if Santana isn't ready to deal with it, then that's her decision.

"Whatever, I'm done talking. Merry Christmas. Go kill a fucking reindeer or something."

The line goes dead.