Hey hope everyone is good, thanks to all for R+R and to those who have added me to their alerts. I'm really enjoying writing this story at the moment and hope that you guys continue reading.

I know I said Ruby would meet her brother but it didn't fit well in this chapter hence why I'm going to add two chapters today, the second one will have their meeting . Hope you enjoy them.

Chapter 4 – Illusions

Heaths P.O.V

When I entered the room I expected to see Brax. Where was he? No one saw him go, as I was trying to figure out where my brother had gone, my eyes fell on the bedside table. What I saw shocked me to the core, it was something I never though I would ever see, there in all its glory was an empty bottle of tablets. I walked over and picked up the bottle, I expected it to be full with tablets; instead it felt like it was full of guilt. Everything was falling into place. It clicked what the empty bottle meant, at that moment the feeling that washed over me was something that I had never experienced. I was scared, I was rigid and I could not move. I could recall that bottle was full, now it sat empty, it was stating the obvious, it was conversing with me, it was telling me that Brax had given up.

I ran outside, Ruby was sat there; she was oblivious to what I had seen, what I had worked out. I ran straight out the door, there was no point in hanging around, there was no point thinking, there was no point in anything. I had to find him, he was my brother, he was the backbone of my family. He was the one person that we all would turn to, whether it was me or Casey or whether it was a River Boy, if there was trouble then Brax was there to help you, now he was in trouble, he needed someone, he had no one to turn to. I had to go to him, wherever he might be, I had to find him.

It was not fair; Brax was always dealt the same cards, the wrong ones. He was always making it through life, there was never a moment Brax lived in his life where it was personal choice, he went with compatibility, he went with everyone else's weight on his shoulder. He wasn't like anyone I had met.

My exterior showed that I acted like the tough one, I was in fact the brainless one, I was the loose cannon, I was the one who never felt anything, no emotion, no feelings. I didn't give a toss about anything literally but today I found that I was unable to display anything. If I found him I promise that I would never take him for granted again.

I ran frantically from the Diner, to the surf club to Angelo's. The longer it took for me to find him, the further his life was slipping away.

When I got to Angelo's, Liam and Bianca were there, they were laughing, talking, any other day I would have blown with jealousy, but not today. I asked Billy, one of the waiters if he had seen Brax, he replied no. I ran up to Liam and asked him, the words he spoke were both of dread and relief.

''Yeah he came in before, took a few bottles and then left''

There was relief because if he had taken the pills it won't have been long, but the words were dreadful because pills on their own were bad, pills combined with alcohol were even worse. Worry washed over my face, I felt the earth opening beneath me and I felt myself falling into oblivion. I was falling until I felt hands on my shoulders, it was Bianca.

''Heath what's up, is everything okay.''

Okay, okay, how can anything be okay I thought. It had just hit me that Brax might be gone. How was I going to cope, how was I going to tell mum, how was I ever going to get over it. Is this how it was going to be when your world is taken from you, you take yourself out of the world? Was this the circle? Charlie left, she was Brax's world, and Brax was gone now, next was me and so on.

For the first time in my life I felt something that someone else had felt. Today I felt what Brax must have felt. I could only imagine the fear of being on your own but today that image was fast becoming a reality. Real loss is when your about to lose something that you love more than yourself. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare, this dream, yes this dream because even then you still wake up.

I wasn't going to give up, I never gave up before and I wasn't going to start now. I was the dreamer and those who are dreamers get what they want more than the ones who have all the facts. I agree I had no idea where he was but that wasn't going to stop me.

I was running along the beach now, I was worn out, my feet were aching, they were giving up. I was running forward whilst the ground beneath me moved backwards, I didn't care, it didn't matter that I was running slow, the main thing was I carried on, I didn't stop.

Charlie's P.O.V

We drove up the same roads; the tarmac was the still the same, inky black in the setting suns gaze. The houses were the same, even the trees looked like they had not grown, withered or breathed. It felt like Summer Bay had stopped and I had come back to press the play button.

I looked over to Jack and then at JNR. Jack smiled at me, it was a smile that I had never seen on his face before, it showed contentment, it showed that we were back where we belong.

If at this point, the world was a person, if it had eyes, ears, nose everything that defined a person. If it spoke to me and told me to stop, don't go further, give up, I wouldn't because in my heart I could hear hope whispering, try it; try it one more time, give life another go. This was my war and I wasn't going to evacuate, not now. I was going to go further and I'm sure if I went far enough I would definitely stumble on something. Anything was better than accepting defeat and sitting down because no one stumbles upon anything if they sat down.

I wasn't the Charlie that everyone knew. I changed the moment I had met Brax. I had let my guard down.

Have you ever had the feeling to do something spontaneous, to do something that you would never get a chance to do again, have you ever felt like you should jump into the fire? I don't mean jump in and get burned but jump because of desire. I felt like that today. I don't know why but I wanted to jump. I had learnt to take each day, each hour and each second as individuals. If you lost a minute from the day, yeah it was a minute that you would never get back from that day but you could always make that day into a lifetime.

The pain I felt from my broken heart didn't kill me but it didn't let me live either, now I was going to live.

Jack drove up the drive towards the motel car park; it was the same motel where me and Brax met a many times in secret. It was the same motel that I never wanted to leave and definitely the same motel that I never thought I would return to. It felt a lifetime ago when we spent time in there, as a proper couple, we had fear in the back of our minds but it didn't stop us. We continued living our dirty little secret.

Call it coincidental, call it fate or call it God finally answering your prayers, I didn't know what to call it but the realisation of having the same room as before was magical. It was truly an illusion of reminiscing. I walked in the familiar door and it was like time stood still and I got drawn in to the secrets, the words and the vision that the walls had witnessed.

Our bodies had become one. We were the only two parts too the puzzle. We shared the air in this room, we shared our dreams and most of all we made love. It was physical attraction at first but then I began to fall for him, I started to love every single thing he was, every word he spoke, every step he took, I tried to stay reasonable but I wasn't able to and I had finally found true love.

I was brought out of my thoughts with the cries of JNR. I went up to him, he was crying. It was piercing but I knew it wasn't because he was hungry or because he was tired, call it a mother's intuition I knew my baby and he was crying because this place held his memory. This was the place where me and Brax had become one for the last time. Even though we were leaving, the night before the day that I supposedly died, me and Brax had come back here once for old time's sake.

My phone beeped, I took it from my pocket to see the text form Watson.

Hey Charlie, I know your back in the bay and everything but please be careful. Try not going out and exposing yourself. I know you will be careful.

Oh and I'll get the pictures printed and will make sure Brax sees them.

Georgia.

Oh bless her; she was going to do everything possible to keep her promise. Before putting my phone in my pocket, I saw the time; it read 9:00pm. I looked at jack with a over enthusiastic smile, he laughed,

''What do you want missy''

He knew me too well, I did want something, it wasn't anything big on his part, it was just to watch JNR, he was fed, changed and asleep. If he agreed I wanted to go for a walk. No where far just some fresh air. The oxygen here wasn't oxygen, it was elixir and I wanted to breathe its purity, to feel it run through my veins.

''erm if it wasn't a problem would you keep an eye on the bub for me. I'm going to go for a quick walk, its 9pm and I don't think anyone is going to be out but I will be careful.''

I looked at him with pleading eyes. I did my best puppy dog eyes and childish face. He knew that I wanted this so bad.

As I left, I picked up Jacks keys he hadn't noticed. I was being spontaneous; I wasn't going to regret anything so when I saw the keys I grabbed them.

I drove to the beach. It was familiar but it was the strangest place I had ever seen. It was like I had seen it but not in this form. The stars were shining, the ocean was swaying and the sand was calling me. I wanted to walk on the sand, feel something familiar, something from the past. Something to say I was home.

I took of my sandals and headed for the moonlit water. Life changed its beauty all the time, the shade, the sunlight, something's grow old and other things become familiar. You grow tired of watching them. Not this scene that was played out in front me. This was peace but why did I not feel it. I shifted my heels so they wouldn't sink in the wet sand. I kicked up the water and it lapped over my feet and ankles causing shimmering silver droplets. It was so childish but I felt free just kicking the water. I grew tired after a while and then walked away from the water and carried on walking along the beach.

I walked along the beach. The soft sand felt harsh against my bare toes. This was not the feeling I used to have. The sand used to run between my toes, soft and gentle, today it was like thorns. Was the sand trying to tell me that I should not be here? It didn't recognise me, was I an intruder. Was I about to upset the equilibrium? If today the sand was rejecting me then what was the point in coming back. What was I doing here? I shouldn't have come. I wanted to go back.

There was a reason, a purpose why I had come back, why I was walking along the beach, it was all supposed to cure my aching heart, it was supposed to fill the loneliness. I was definitely having a déjà vu moment, I was in different a place but one thing was sure I had had this feeling before. Loneliness. This feeling of being unwanted, this loneliness was definitely the most terrible poverty. It should all have gone as soon as I stepped back into familiar territories but it didn't. I needed to leave. I had to go.

My mind was telling me to move, go back but why would my heart not agree. I'm sure they just broke the pact. They were supposed to be fighting for me not against each other. My heart won, I was still on the beach, the time that is here now, I might not have it tomorrow.

I was walking towards the south end of the beach, I don't know why, normally I wouldn't have, it was dark, it was scary amongst the night's shadows. It always felt like the rocks were screaming it wasn't the most peaceful place if you were on your own but come with someone and it felt like you had travelled into another universe. It had felt like that and I knew, me and Brax had spent countless evenings sat here under the watchful eyes of the stars and the protection of the moon.

As I walked along and in the midst of the sand I glanced upon a figure. What was pulling me towards this figure, was it dependence, attraction, grief, in my heart I knew it was the same source as always, it was the human ability to connect with those you don't want to leave regardless of the odds. This figure felt like my own and I was connecting.

I had reached to the figure, in my heart I knew who it was but I had to make sure. He had his back towards me so I walked to the other side, I knelt to the ground, I pushed his arm away from his face and there I saw him. In comparison to the glistening of the waves, the shimmer of the moon and the whiteness of the sand that he was embedded in he was not comparable. These were some of the most beautiful things in this world but there was nothing that could out do him.

The wall that I had built around myself to keep not only sadness away but also joy, I found it breaking and crumbling and I whispered… ''Brax.''

Brax P.O.V

Nothing is real, absolutely nothing, even when you feel the pain nothing hurts.

The one who loves you whole heartedly, it is difficult to meet that person. Not really, this was easier than I thought. She had come just like I wanted; she had come to take me. She did listen, she was never going to give up on me, she whispered my name and I felt complete again.

She did love me and she had been waiting for me to come, I wasn't going to let her go, she was the most beautiful person and I was going to grab her hand and walk graciously through the gates of heaven.

Actually if this was heaven then why was it I was uncomfortable, why was I still laying on the floor, why was it I had not recovered from the intoxication of the alcohol. Was this my life hanging in the balance, was I half way into death but life was still holding on to me. Was this the time that God felt like having mercy on me and giving me a choice? Did I want to take Charlie's hand which was stroking my forehead and down my face or did I go back and continue living the life that I had resented the minute she left.

I wasn't confused, I knew what I wanted and it was not to go back. I just needed the strength to grab her hand, I just had to grab it and tell her to take me. I tried moving my hand and I saw her look at it, why wasn't she helping me?

Why was it that she looked at my face with regret, she could see my eyes longing for her, why did she move her hand from me and begin to walk away. No, NO! NO! She could not leave me, what had stopped her taking me, I closed my eyes for any sign to explain why she left, and then I heard it…

''Brax, Brax, is that you Brax''

Someone from life had stopped her from taking me.

Heaths P.O.V

I was tired from the running, my eyelashes were causing shadows on my eyes, they were telling me to stop, give up, go home and sleep. I couldn't do it; I only had one place left. If I knew my brother then he would definitely be there. It was dangerous but calm. It was one of the best places to surf, the adrenaline that pumps through your body as the wave rises and you ride it out.

I ran towards the south end of the beach and towards the rock pool. I could see two figures, one was kneeling on the floor and the other was laying motionless on the beach. I was too late, he was gone; he had left. There was no point even going to him, he had defied the meaning of brotherhood. Brothers don't leave each other; they stand next to each other. He had taken the easy way out. As my eyes lingered watching his motionless body, the person kneeling down was a woman, she looked just like Charlie. In the nights darkness it was hard to make out her features, but it looked just like her. As I continued looking up at her and she met my gaze, it was like her eyes were glistening with tears in the darkness. Could it really be Charlie, surely not, it was late, I had been running for ages and now grief had overtaken me. She was dead and she was the reason that my brother was gone. I saw her lower head and looked down towards where Brax's hands were, they moved, I forgot everything and started shouting hysterically,

''Brax, Brax, can you hear me''

I ran towards him, the distance increasing and him slipping further away. The mystery women was also getting further away, I looked up at her and she didn't look back once, I saw her slip out of my vision and she was gone behind the rocks.

''Brax, Brax, is that you Brax''

I hope you guys enjoyed that. I don't know what direction the story is going yet! I'm just going to write it out and hope it flows.

The next chapter should be up too so enjoy. And apologies or any mistakes regarding grammer.

Thanks again for reading.

Abz

XXX