Authors Note: Hey guys! OMG thanks so much for the awesome reviews you guys seriously push me to update more and more I'm glad your loving it as much as I'm loving writing it! Anyways I decided to update Chapter 4 for you guys I hope you like it stuff really starts to pick up! Also Read and Review!
StephaniieC: Britt is definitely apart of her love story and I can't reveal why I didn't change her name but it plays an important part trust me stay with this and you'll find out soon!
Quinntana2: Thanks so much for your reviews I really enjoy reading them and I'm glad your enjoying it! Please feel free to review more!
Doodle91xxx: Thanks for the great feedback! Please feel free to review more I enjoy reading your comments!
Chapter 4-Ring
"Okay so let me get this straight?" Anita says as I pause the story because I really can't handle it at this point. How did I not realize my feelings in the past? All these feelings coming out as I tell the story is really irritating I was so stupid and young. Realizing I left Anita hanging I quickly nod to urge her to continue "So Dianna said no to marrying you-" she says but I cut her off "she didn't say no technically I didn't even ask we just… broke up" I say realizing that came out a little more pained than I wanted. "okay whatever, Dianna 'Broke up' with you" she starts while using finger quotes and I can't help but laugh "and Britt is leaving you to go on tour with Beyonce? Mommy why does nothing work out for you?" she says with a small pout and I can tell she's really sad. "Oh Anita hun the story isn't finished there's a happy ending" I say but her pout doesn't go away "But mommy it doesn't! there is no happy ending! You still end up divorced!" she cries and I realize she's crying at this point. This is the first time I really see the divorce take its toll on her and I realize its best to just stop the story "Mija I think I'm going to stop now-" I say but she immediately jolts up "No! I wanna know who mommy is so please keep going!" she cries as she wipes away her tears, I just give her a slight nod and kiss the top of her forehead "Okay hun so this takes place about 1 and a half years later…"
June 2005 New York
As I sit on the couch with Finn, we sit there in comfortable silence looking at all the post cards Britt has sent me from all the cities she's been to since touring with Beyonce. Rome, Japan, Spain, LA all the cities someone dreams about I'm insanely proud of her but the fact that I haven't seen her in a year really depresses me. Over the year we've sent emails, letters, skyped and texted but nothing is compared to the actual Britt, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, and perfect flowing blonde hair I could literally talk about how perfect she is for hours, I never realized how much I actually cared for her I knew she gave me this weird feeling but I never really looked into it though but damn she's just well I can't even explain. Brittany is my best friend though I tell her everything I'm glad I found a best friend in her actually, yeah I have Finn too but Brittany is so easy and comfortable I really miss her. As Finn and I reminisce in the old post cards she's sent me I realize that something was caught in the middle Finn grabs it immediately and smiles his goofy grin "Ooo Lopez someone got an invite to a performance from one Lea Michele" he says in a sing-song type voice. I roll my eyes and rip the invite from him I haven't heard from Lea since that night after I dropped off the Diary when she kissed me so immediately I'm intrigued. That kiss gave me weird feelings too like really new feelings. as I examine the invite I see nothing special it just looks like all the other invites Finn and I get, since becoming heads of the Indy department a little over a year ago we get invites like this all the time the only difference is that its for Broadway and the star is William Shuestar. I smile because as a kid I watched all of his performances, this one just so happens to be tomorrow mine and Finn's only day off. I look to him and he still has that 'Finn grin' plastered on his face "So San are we going?" he says with a wink, I just roll my eyes "Well Finnocence I don't see why not?" I say in an equally intriguing tone he had. "well how bout the fact that the girl sending you the invite kissed you not so long ago?" he asks and I tense up a bit at the memory and a single butterfly flutters in my stomach. "Finn that was over a year ago and besides I love Broadway so why not?" I say, Finn just shrugs "Okay Lopez we're going I'll be your wingman" he says as he scampers away before I can hit him with the pillow I'm holding. "Little shit".
"Mom! Are you and Lea going to date?!" Anita asks in a high-pitched shriek so loud I have to cover my ears. "Dios Mio Anita! I'm not done the story yet now am I?" I say slightly annoyed at all the little interruptions "Okay, okay mommy but just so you know if Lea ends up being my mom I'm becoming a Broadway star!" she says with so much excitement, I just roll my eyes "okay Anita can I get back to it?" I ask cause I actually want to explore this deeper. Weird. She gives me a little head nod "Okay so…"
The night of the performance I decide to wear my nice heels and flaming red dress that shows just the right amount of cleavage not that I'm trying to, you know impress anyone I just figure it would be appropriate to dress nicely. As I head out the door my phone rings and I recognize that ring tone anywhere its 'songbird' and I know that its Britt I eagerly pick up my phone "Britt?!" I say with the same amount of excitement, as a little kid on Christmas would have. "San! Oh. My. God. I miss you so much! I can't wait to come home and tell you all about it!" she starts "not that I don't enjoy sending you postcards but I just… I really want to be able to hug you and stuff" she says and I can feel the butterflies. Again. It's the same feeling I get every time I hear Britt's voice or see her picture my palms get sweaty and the bundle of nerves in my stomach tightens even more. "I know Britt-Britt but you'll be home in 6 months then I can take you out and we can hang out all you want!" I say and I hear a small giggle on the other side "God San I have so much to tell you, well so much I want you to know…" she says a little more serious and I get nervous "you can tell me anything Britt you know that, but if you want to wait until you get home I respect that" I say hoping to lighten the mood a bit. "Thanks San I-I really appreciate it, and you" she says and I can tell she's smiling which automatically makes me smile, suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder and its Finn signaling me that we have made it to the theatre and I immediately become sad again because that means I need to say bye to Britt. "No problem Britt but listen I gotta go I'll call you later okay?" I say and I can hear the sad sigh coming from her lips "Okay San I miss you! Bye" she says trying to muster up as much excitement "Bye Britt you too" I hang up the phone and a pang of guilt hits me I really do miss her. As I enter the theatre I hand the usher our tickets and he directs Finn and I to our seats "Wow" I mutter as I realize how close we are to the stage "yeah I know holy shit Lopez your girl hooked us up" he says and I give him a subtle punch as we take our seats "she's not my girl!" I say a little louder than intended and the whole row in front of us turns around "sorry" I mutter and they just scoff. Assholes the show hasn't even started yet. "who's not your girl?" a small voice comes from beside me and Finn jerks his head but I already know who it is. I turn around and I see the small, beautiful brunette I haven't seen in a year. Lea. Finn's eyes go wide and suddenly a lump has formed in my throat "L-Lea its so good to see you" I say with a slight stutter and a smile. Her brown eyes light up and her pearly white smile can be seen even in the slight darkness of the theatre "Hey Lopez nice to see you again" she says and I can feel the butterflies form its not the same feeling as Britt gives me but it's a nervous feeling. "Well you did invite me" I say with a laugh and she just shakes her head and nods "Well is it so surprising that I wanted to see you again?" she says and I'm a little confused its been well over a year but then I realize she's flirting and I can't help but smile back "No not really and to be honest when I saw that you invited me I kinda wanted to see you again too" I say with a slight wink and she just laughs and punches my shoulder which should hurt but I just don't want her to stop touching me. A sudden "eh hem!" breaks our contact and I look over to Finn with his grin on. Great. "Oh Lea this is my partner Finn and roommate" I say and he sticks out his rather large hand to shake her petite one, I notice a pained look on her face which confuses me "So you two are like? Dating" she asks and I can't help but laugh and neither can Finn, we laugh for a solid 5 minutes "No No! me and Finn? No way I'm gay and he's straight" I say with a laugh and I can sense the relief in her smile. Weird. Again. "Yeah me and Lopez would never work out we fight like cats and dogs but I do love her" he says with a warm smile and I can't help but giggle "Ditto he's like the big brother I've always wanted" I explain. Lea nods her head and laughs to probably realizing that Finn and I would never work out in a million years. I look at her up and down and I notice how gorgeous she really is. Really she gives me chills "you look beautiful" I say and I didn't even realize I said it until I see a blush creep up on her face "thanks, you look stunning but I'm sure you knew that" she says and now its my turn to blush. I'm about to make a flirty comment until the lights in the theatre go down and I notice it's time for the show, during the entire show Will seriously kills it but I didn't even notice him half the time cause I was too pre-occupied with my arm brushing up against Lea's. It sent me chills like good chills and I couldn't help but smile the entire show. After the show was over I'm about to stand up when Lea grabs my arm "did you want to come backstage? I'm sure Will would love to see you again?" she says and I can't help but smile "sure I would love to Finn?" I say looking at him he gives me a slight smirk "Nah I'm dead tired Lopez I'm going to go home I'll see you later okay?" he says I can tell exactly what he's doing. "Uh okay I guess I'll see you at home" I say as he waves goodbye to Lea and I, suddenly I'm being pulled away from the rows and through a door that reads 'backstage' we come to a stop as Lea looks around. I give her a perplexed look "what are you doing?" I ask her in a slight whisper she just shrugs and starts pulling me again "Finding Will" she says and then I realize something isn't Will her boyfriend? "Hey Lea?" I say getting her attention she stops and looks back at me with her brows furrowed urging me to continue "Aren't you and Will dating?" I ask not being able to handle it anymore. She just smiles and shakes her head I don't know why but I'm happy to hear that "we broke up last year he left me for a sophomore but it's totally okay we stayed really good friends" she says with a smile and I can't help but smile back. As we reach the end of the stage we see Will grasping a drink talking to a much seemingly younger girl, when he sees us he stops talking to her and walks straight for us "Lea sweety how are you?" he says while kissing both of her cheeks "Just swell darling you did amazing tonight" she says in a very theatrical way. Will just smiles and turns his attention to me "Santana Lopez nice to see you again I heard you were running the Indy department at Jones Records?" he asks sticking his hand out to me I shake it and smile at his tone "Yes I am me and my partner Finn are actually" I say a little boastful but Will admires it and smiles "That's fantastic! How's that going?" he asks and I decide to be honest with him "Great, better than ever we signed this artist recently but she said if I don't have a new song for her ready to go in 6 months she's leaving the label" I say a little upset. Will just shakes his head "That's just awful damn Diva's" he says but then a sudden light shines over him "Lea! Why don't you write Santana her song for this artist I know you've been working on some songs!" he says with almost fake enthusiasm. Lea smiles at me and I can't help but smile back I nod at her "I would love if you could write the song" I say with a huge grin, she just smiles bashfully "really? You would?" she says. "Of course! Why don't we meet up tomorrow and you can show me some of your material you are on Broadway" I say and I didn't even think her smile could grow that much "Okay how bout 8? At the 'Coffee Bar'?" she says and I nod "It's a date" I say without thinking and she just blushes and giggles. I can't help but giggle at her I haven't felt this way in a long time not since Dianna that is, "Well it has been nice talking to you Miss. Lopez I'm sure I'll be seeing you around" Will says snapping me out of my Lea gaze. "Yes definitely see you around" I say and with that Will walks off. I look back at Lea who still has that wide grin. As we walk off into the night air I offer to walk her home, which is only a few blocks away, she nods and we walk in silence for awhile. "So" she starts breaking our comfortable silence "How are you and Dianna?" she asks and I tense up a bit "Um we broke up a year ago" I say and she looks shocked "Oh! I-I'm so sorry Santana I didn't know" she says I just shrug "It was for the best" I smile and soon enough she smiles back even bigger. When we get to her apartment she stops in front of her door "Well I had fun I like spending time with you San" she says while rubbing her hand on my arm which feels really soothing "Yeah me too I'll see you tomorrow then right? To discuss the song?" I smile, she just smiles again and nods "Absolutely" I give her a small peck on the cheek and I can tell she's blushing as she walks into her apartment. I leave her building with the biggest grin in the world and for once in about a year I feel happy again. And that's the scary part.
"Yay! Mommy and Lea! You guys sound cute!" Anita exclaims as I watch her reaction "Yes Mija we were very cute but I'm not done yet!" I say and Anita just smiles urging me to continue. I give her a tight-lipped smile and continue…
Around 8 the next night I show up at the 'Coffee Bar' what an original name, I roll my eyes at the sign and walk in to find a smiling Lea looking at me, I eagerly walk over to her and my smile grows. "Hey" I say as she stands up to give me a hug, I embrace her back and I can feel my smile fade a little. Weird hug. She pulls back "Hey San how are you?" she asks I look at her and I notice how nicely dressed she is for this 'date' if you could call it that "I'm great you look gorgeous" I say and she blushes just like last night. How cute is she. "Thanks" she says and I can feel the silence creep over us but its not awkward "so" she starts "I brought some material for you to look over" she says as she hands me a stack of music sheets. I look over the sheet music for 20 minutes and I can't believe how good they are but to me there's only one that really fits the artist I signed "This one" I start "Is perfect" she looks up from her coffee she ordered while I was reading and smiles "That's my favorite one so far but its not finished but I could definitely finish it by the time its needed" she says and I nod "yeah that sounds perfect 'heartbreaker' that's a great title for the song" I say and she blushes. Again. I look up at her and I see how cute her dimples are when she smiles too much and that instantly makes me smile more. "Hey why don't we go for a walk? I'm tired of work stuff I found the song we'll work out the details later what do you say?" I ask and she frantically nods while standing up. We exit the 'Coffee Bar' and go straight towards the park the silence over us is nice and we really enjoy the night sky and city sounds. I look down to the short brunette to my right and I notice her humming I smile at how musically gifted she is, we come up to a park bench and I run over it and sit down Lea gives me a perplexed look but doesn't sit down next to me "Sing" I ask her and she just becomes more confused "huh?" I smile at her "Sing for me please my own little private show C'mon" I say and she just blushes and nods "Okay I'll sing but then you have to do something for me okay?" she counters and I frantically nod. She takes her place on the path in front of the bench and suddenly the most amazing voice consumes my ears.
"When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love"
I immediately know the song, I love Adele and Make you feel my love is a song I've wanted to sing for a while she continues through the chorus and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. She comes to the ending line.
"To make you feel my love"
the song ends and my heart is literally pounding in my chest her voice is so soft and strong at the same time I can't even explain the chills it gives me. She walks slowly to the bench but instead of sitting on it she sits on my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. "Now you have to do something for me" she says and I smile "Anything" I say and she slowly leans in "I want you to…kiss me" and without hesitation I take her lips in mine and I can feel the electricity her tongue swipes across my bottom lip demanding access and I allow it. She deepens the kiss but then she pulls away and presses our foreheads together, my breathing is rather ragged and so is hers the kiss was ONE of the best kisses I've ever gotten there was a lot more feeling then Dianna's but not as much as when I kissed… Brittany. I find it weird after I kissed Lea I immediately thought of Brittany but Brittany is just a friend. Nothing more. Lea breathes in my scent and I can tell she's smiling "That was amazing" she whispers and a smile tugs at my own lips I nod the best I can with her forehead against mine. That was one of the best feelings I've ever had and in that moment I realize I am finally happy again for the first time in a year but the reason for my previous unhappiness wasn't from my break up with Dianna which is weird it was from the void in my chest that no one could fill… Brittany.
"Mom! You and Lea are seriously so cute!" Anita yells as I try to shush her because it is 12am after all. I didn't realize how fast time was going as I told the story "Yes I know baby" I say a little exhausted Anita just smiles at me "Yeah but I think I like you and Britt-Britt better" she says and I jolt up shocked "What makes you say that?" I ask a little confused "Because you guys sound like soul mates best friends that fall in love!" she says with even more excitement my eyebrows furrow as I realize what she means I just shrug it off though cause I don't want to show what she's saying is really making me think. "Okay so can I continue now?" I ask and she just nods. "Okay so about 5 months later…"
I'm sitting in Ms. Jones' office with Finn for what seems like an hour, Ms. Jones never calls us into her office anymore unless its something serious. She walks in with a very stern look on her face, which really worries me "So you guys how's that song coming for Sugar?" she asks, Sugar is the hottest new Indy artist I signed a couple months back Lea's been working on her song for some time now but we've been so pre occupied with other things we must have made it slip. Lea and I have been dating for 5 months now and its safe to say I'm in love she makes me feel so much better than Dianna ever did. I zone out thinking about Lea and forgetting Ms. Jones question I quickly snap out of it "Oh its coming along it should be done in about 2 weeks" I say but in all honesty I don't know exactly when it will be done. Ms. Jones perks up a bit and smiles "Okay good I was getting worried and Sugar has been really demanding she will be happy to hear it" she says and with that we are dismissed from her office, Finn gives me a slight smirk and grabs my arm "Is it really going to be done in 2 weeks? Cause if its not were done here Sugar is the only thing we got going for us right now and if that songs not done and she leaves were fired" he says with a slight edge in his voice "Calm your shit Finnocence it will get done my girls got it" I say with a small wink, Finn breathes in a sigh of relief "Okay good I'm gonna head home I'll see you soon" he says and with that he's out the door. Lea and I are meeting for dinner to discuss the song I quickly grab my bags from my office as I'm just about to walk out of the building my phone rings. Unknown Caller. I suddenly get really suspicious "hello?" I say with a little confusion "Ms. Lopez? I have a secret about you and I'm going to tell everyone" the muffled voice replies I get a little nervous secret? What secret? "Oh really now? And what might that be?" I counter "You know what it is but you can easily find me" the voice says, I slowly walk into the lobby looking around to see if the person I'm talking to is around. "I'm very close by your warm" the voice continues and I take a few steps forward "Super warm" I smile cause I think I know who it is "Hot, hot" and I look up too see what I have been looking forward to for 2 years "Hot your so hot!" the voice says and I instantly feel like the happiest person in the world. I see the Blonde push her way through the crowd to me and embrace me in a hug "Brittany!" I scream lifting her off the ground and twirling her "Santana! I've missed you so much!" she says and I can't wipe the stupid grin from my face. I put her down and her perfect blue eyes are sparkling "I have so much to tell you!" she says and I can't help but grin even more. We walk outside and she begins to talk about some guy but I'm to pre occupied with my thoughts to listen but I do anyway "So his name is Jared and were dancing and I feel like I'm the happiest girl in the world but something is missing" she starts and I nod my head to make sure she knows that I'm listening "Then when he tries to kiss me I jolt back because I realize I can't kiss him, I-I can't kiss him because-" she gets cut off when she notices where we are. "San why are we at a jewelry store?" she asks with a slight frown "You'll see" I say holding the door open for her she giggles a bit we walk in and I hand the man a blue slip he nods and goes to the backroom to retrieve my order. "Continue your story" I say and she quickly nods "Anyway Jared he tried to kiss me but I couldn't because there was something missing and I realized that something missing was something here I-I shouldn't have left-" she says but is once again cut off this time by the jeweler "Here you go Ms. Lopez I hope she says yes" I smile and nod as I grab the 18kt gold diamond ring, Brittany just stares at it in disbelief and the pained look on her face tells me something. "I-I'm proposing" I say and I can tell Brittany is upset, suddenly she storms out of the jewelry shop and I chase after her "Britt!" I scream and she stops right on the spot "You didn't think to tell me you were this serious about someone?!" she yells and I feel a pang of guilt "I told you I was dating someone-" I say but she cuts me off "You didn't say you were deeply in love and ready to propose!" she says. I frown at how hurt she seems to be that I didn't tell her I was in love, truth be told I don't know why I never told her "I-I'm sorry Britt I thought you would be happy for me?" I say and Brittany takes in a small breath and a smile tugs at her lips "Of course I'm happy for you San your-you're my best friend come here" she says as she opens her arms for a hug. I can see the pained look on her face and I feel so guilty for not telling her but for some reason I know it goes way deeper than not telling her I just don't know why I choose to ignore it.
"Oh. My. God mommy! Brittany came back to tell you she's in love with you! But you were going to marry someone else! Mommy no!" Anita cries as I pause the story because just like it hits Anita it hits me like a ton of bricks did she really love me then? is that what she wanted to tell me? I shake the thought off "Yeah I guess she did" I say a little skeptical. "Okay mommy seriously your love story is messy!" she says with a giggle and I can't help but smile and nod "Your so right Mija" I say and she nods at me to continue…
After Britt and I discussed her tour and my life I told her all about Lea somehow thinking it would fix everything that happened before and it does she smiles and gets all excited about how in love I am but there's apart of me that thinks its fake which I think is weird. She's my best friend shouldn't she be happy for me? I'm so confused right now and then I notice the nagging feeling is back. What. The. Fuck. I shake it off best I can before I see Lea smiling and giggly as ever "Hey babe!" she says and I give her a chaste kiss to the lips "Hey sorry for being late I ran into someone" I say and she just nods her head "Its alright I ordered for us anyway" she smiles and I can't help but think her smile is infectious I wouldn't mind waking up to that everyday. As the night passes we discuss anything but the song for about 2 hours I avoid it but I eventually woman up and ask "Hey hun how's that song coming I'm really going to need that soon?" I ask and her smile instantly vanishes "Actually I've been meaning to talk to you about that" she says and I become instantly worried "I sold it to another company" she says and my heart stops "What?!" I say completely shocked and mortified "Well I went to see Will the other day because I ended up getting 2 offers for the song and I really needed advice and he asked me if I wanted to further my career or not so I based my decision off of that" she explains and my jaw literally drops "Lea I can't believe- I-I trusted you with this we won't survive this loss!" I say and I can see the tears well up in her eyes "Babe I'm sure the Indy department will be fine-" she says but I cut her off "No not the Indy department I meant us" I say shortly as a tear escapes my eye. She looks like I told her, Broadway is dead "You listened to Will and instead of helping your girlfriend you decided to listen to your ex-boyfriend? What is that? Its clear you still love him!" I say realizing I'm shouting now. Lea doesn't reply she just looks at her hands I scoff "You do still love him don't you?" I say in utter disbelief "well I hope you are very happy with him" I say and get up to leave. I feel her hand around my arm "Please San! I love you I just I don't know what I was thinking" she says and I rip my arm away "no you obviously didn't" I shout and I leave her in the restaurant. I walk out onto the sidewalk and I feel the cold air hit me like a ton of bricks, I decide walking is the best think for me right now I stick my hands in my pockets and my hand hits a hard object. The box. As I feel my hands tighten around the box I feel the tears pooling out of my eyes "Fuck" I mutter as I grab the box and I throw it in the sewer along with my job, my best friend, my life.
"Wow nothing ever does work out for you" Anita says with a pout as she crosses off Lea from her notebook. I let out a content sigh who knew telling this story would be so hard? "I know baby I know" I say giving her a re-assuring nod. She just pouts more and engulfs me in a hug "I'm sorry mommy" she says and I feel my heart clench "Mija please don't" I start "That was for the best too I loved Lea I really did but just like Dianna it wasn't happening" I said and she pulls out of the hug and nods. "did she break it?" she asks and I give her a confused look "break what hun?" I ask "Your heart?" I just nod and Anita frowns. After about 5 minutes of frowning she smiles again "Okay mommy lets continue" she says and I do without hesitaion…