I felt the box shifting in my hand. I entered the living room and Tony ushered me over to the counter top. I set the box down next to him.
"Can you read this?" He looked at the box.
"No. What language is it?"
"I can't tell. The words are moving."
"No, they're not. I can see it just fine. I just can't read it."
"But… Fury. He left it for me. I wonder why?" I tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge. Tony tried, and also failed.
"What is gluing this thing shut?"
"I don't know." I looked at the box, then looked away.
"What's wrong?"
"I get a headache when I look at the words."
"Why?"
"I don't know, but it stopped when I changed." He looked at me. "No, don't you dare! Tony!" He had reached the sink, and turned it on. He grabbed the sprayer, and covered my face and chest. I fell to the ground, and he looked down at me.
"Really, Stark? You really are a nuisance, aren't you?"
He looked me up and down, then handed me the box. I rolled my eyes, and looked down at words stopped scrabbling, and I could read it. It wasn't a language I was familiar with, but I felt I knew it by heart. "It says 'The sea isn't the same, anymore. Is it?'. Thanks Fury." I rolled my eyes again, and set the box on my lap. Tony looked at it.
"You can read that?"
"I don't think i've seen it before, but I feel like its my native tongue or something. I wonder why the words were shifting?"
"Because it's mermish." Fury came up behind me, and looked down at the box. "Only mermaids can read it."
"But why did the words shift when I was me?"
"Because you are a Moon Pool- made mermaid, not a born one. You aren't a underwater native. You're an … invasive species. A half species, so your brain couldn't figure out which mind to use."
"Oh." I looked down at my tail. Fury took the box from my lap.
"Did you open it yet?"
"No."
"You should." I took the box back, and it popped open at my touch. Inside were photos of Fury and another young mermaid. I also found various tips written by this girl. 'Tips on how to live as a half fish' I read. I laughed.
At the very bottom of the box was a small fake book. Inside was a ring with a small stone imbedded in the top. 'Use this well' I put the ring on my finger. I reverted after about ten minutes, but I barely noticed. Fury touched my shoulder. I put a hand over his and thanked him. Tony had stood there the whole time, and I looked up at him.
"Maybe you should let me go."
Tony had been playing with my fins, and I had ignored him, caught up in the photos and notes, but now I was totally focused on his hands gripping my feet. He had obviously had a one man party. He was drunk, again.
"Right. Uh..." He shook his hands off me, and I stood up. Fury left not long after, and I retired as well.
The next morning…
I stretched my arms upward, and let them flop back down by my sides. I rolled upward so I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I looked over at the clock, and it was 10:00 am. I instinctively looked down at my body. Human. I sighed in relief. The boys hadn't come into my room last night, or at least didn't leave evidence. Not that they could do much. No, the school took care of that for me.
I dressed in my suit, which I planned on doing more, now that they knew how to mess with my temper. I looked in the mirror, and brushed the hair out of my face. I brushed my teeth and returned to my bed. I picked up the box and ran my hand over the top. I didn't look at it, but I traced the words with my fingers.
It was weird to see them moving, but feel them staying still. I put the box back on my nightstand, and I leaned my back against the headboard of the bed.
I stared ahead, examining the wall and my feet. I got up and moved into the hall. I strolled into the living room, my focus on the windows. I stood in front of them, and stared down at the city. I sighed. I didn't belong here, not anymore.
I hugged myself with one hand and touched the window lightly with the other. I let my hand float away from the glass, and into a mimicking position of the other.
Someone came up behind me, and instinctively I turned quickly and held my hands in front of my body. Bruce put his hands up in a calming way, and I put my hands down. He pulled me into a hug, and I returned it.
"I can't do this anymore. I don't belong with the Avengers. I belong… I don't even know anymore." I shook my head.
"Where'd your confidence go, Tash?"
"I lost it, I guess. I just feel so different. So… far away from everyone."
"It comes with the whole world knowing your secrets." When he said 'whole world', I felt my stomach flip upside down.
"I wish I never went to that stupid island and I wish I had never got in that stupid pool and I wish I had never swam under that stupid moon." I crossed my arms over my chest and looked down at the city again. Bruce moved so he was next to me. I put a hand on the window and leaned closer, then pushed and turned away. I stepped toward the table, and Bruce followed.
He sat next to me, and I buried my head in my arms. He looked down at me. I began crying. This was the first time he had seen me totally break down. I put my hands over my head. I didn't know. I just didn't understand. I was so confused and I was mindless at the moment. My body wasn't responding and I just cried. I hated the sound of my own crying. It made me feel weak, but at the moment, I was.
Bruce didn't understand most of what was happening. He knew how I was feeling, but he'd didn't know how to help. He'd never had to help. I was crying for the first time in front of one of my co workers, and I could feel how uncomfortable I was making him. I lifted my head and turned away.
"I can leave." I brushed my hair back and looked toward the hallway. "I'm being totally irrational." I stood, and he grabbed my arm. I looked down at his hand, then up at him. I was still able to feel the tears running down my face. He pulled me back into my seat. He moved his hand over my cheek, and I laughed. He smiled at me.
"I may not understand, but you're my friend. I want to help."
"Thank you, but you don't have to do this. Bruce, I can feel how uncomfortable this makes you."
"That doesn't matter. You are more important than my comfort." I smiled at him. He and I began to talk. We talked about how I got my powers, and why I liked the rain. I like the rain because it was a way I got to sleep at the school, it kept me tied to the outside, and I was drawn to it because of my powers. He shared a few of his passions with me. It soon became a 'get to know each other' talk.
We laughed at each other, and Bruce got me to spill a few secrets about the ocean. I told him that Fury had a few things he wanted me to do, and Bruce agreed with him.
"It will be a good chance for you to break this shell you've developed over your powers. I think you make a beautiful fish." I laughed. He brushed my hair out of my face, and I looked at him.
"The shell is more of a coping mechanism. It makes me feel secure, and now that it's broken I would expect more of these episodes. My shell is cracked, and that makes me feel like i'm a leaky bucket. I can't keep myself together. I fear that Natasha Romanoff we all know is gone."
"She'll never be gone as long as I have a say in it. I need her. She keeps me under control. Now, i'll return the favor. Here." He held his hand out to me. I took it, and he pulled me out of the chair. He took me down to the lab. I looked around. I immediately was hit by a hard wall. I covered my eyes, and I held my head. He looked at me.
"Are you alright?"
"The writing. I can't look at it like this. It hurts my head. It's mermish. In my eyes, it's all shifting uncontrollably. It doesn't happen when I change." He quickly ran around moving all the words off screen. "Jarvis, please open the DNA files."
"Yes Sir."
"DNA files? How did you get my DNA?"
"I didn't, yet. I need you down here. Can I?" He held up a needle. I looked at it. I sat in the chair and nodded. He pushed the needle into my arm, and I winced a bit. He drew my blood, and he loaded it into the program. I watched as Clint and my DNA generated in the middle of the room. I examined them.
With how many differences between my signature and Clint's, I was surprised that the school hadn't noticed.
"Why Clint?"
"He was the only one who had no powers. It wouldn't be a good test if we used a corrupted sample."
"True." He examined the signatures. He pulled a few bars off of mine, and he looked at them closer.
"These are weird."
"Thanks." I rolled my eyes.
"No, I mean look." I stood and kneeled in front of the projection. I zoomed into the parts. They looked different. "Fish?"
"No."
"Then what?"
"Human, but they've been altered. They are infused with something else."
"Hmm. Do you need another?"
"Another what?"
"Blood sample. I could change for this one. It might give a different result."
"Good idea, Natasha. How'd you come up with that?"
"You and Tony aren't the only science nerds." He looked at me, and I smirked. I returned to the chair. I pulled water out of the air, and placed it on my skin. I changed and picked up the needle. I pushed it into my tail, and pulled the blood. I handed it to Bruce, and he loaded it.
I watched as my DNA was put next to my Human one, and I saw how withered the bars looked. The few that looked different were brighter and smoother than the rest.
"Well, now I know what I look like on the inside. I'm broken in and out now."
"Natasha?"
"What?"
"Why do you keep saying things like that?"
"I can't help it. I just feel so broken that I can't think of anything else. I feel like i'm too open to the world now, even though I haven't even used my powers in public." He stared at me. I looked down at my tail. I ran my hand up and down my lap, and I sighed.
"I can't think of how this is going to go over with the people out there. I just.. when I was a kid I believed in thing like this, even though I was forced to train and go through terrible things. I can just imagine the little kids out there, fangirling over me." I watched as he stood and picked up my hands.
"We'll be right there with you." I smiled.
Later…
"Natasha! Hurry! The crowds are waiting!" I began to breathe heavily. Tony dragged me out on stage. He sat me in a chair, and poured a bucket over my head. The scientist picked me up and pushed me into a truck.
After a while,we exited the truck, and we entered a lab. They strapped me to a table, and I screamed. I lashed out at them as the began to cut me and poke me. They strapped down my arms. They pulled a drill over my head, and I yelled at them as it came closer and closer…
I shot upward. I was hyperventilating, and I glanced around nervously. I touched my forehead. Nothing. I backed up until my back was against the headboard. I hugged myself. A knock came to the door. It scared me, and I screamed. The door opened, and I stared at the figure in the doorway.
"No! Leave me alone! Don't cut me!" I covered my face and the figure came closer. I tucked my knees closer into my chest, and I felt a hand grip mine. I screamed again.
"Nat? Are you alright?" I heard Clint's voice. "You were yelling in your sleep."
I attempted to catch my breath, but it didn't happen. "I was? Sorry. I had a dream. Tony was showing me off to the people, and the scientist took me. I felt like I was back at the graduation."
"What happened there?"
"You don't wanna know."
"Ok. Are you going to be ok? You're still sweating and your breathing is a bit, uh… off."
"I'll work on it." I relaxed, but my knees were still clenched against me. I felt Hawk put a hand around me and sit down.
"No one will get you. I promise." He slipped his other hand under my knees and picked me up. He carried me to the living room, and set me down on the couch. He pushed me down so I had my head rested on the arm. He sat on the other couch, and layed down.
"I won't move. I promise." I smiled. Maybe they all really did care. I wasn't alone. I rolled over, and I drifted slowly back into sleep.