Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
"He's got a small a light saber......... he'll make you lift up big rocks with the power of your brain..... long eared green and stout, live'n la vida Yoda, oh err.. Listening to a Weird Al song, Live'n La Vida Yoda, now I know some of you may be shocked to find out that J.K. is Dumbledore. Now I was the heir of Slytherin, but I vowed never to be evil. The basalisk is evil, but I told him to go domn in the Chamber of Secrets, but he said he would be good, so I let him stay out and he killed a muggle born, so I made him go back into the Chamber. Why is Draco mean? Well he is mad that his father makes cookies, what is wrong with him? What's wrong with cookies? I love cookies, oh my gosh! Spongebob is on, I'll be back to write more!"
"Oh that was a good episode! Mystery came and Mr. Krabs told Spongebob to get rid of her. Am I gay? God no! Why do you think that the basalisk killed that girl? I dated her and she dumped me, I complained to the basalisk and he killed her."
"Why does J.K. hate me? Well for one thing he is Dumbledore, and I think it's because he is afraid that I will take over Hogwarts, I won't all I want to do is start a Catering Business.