Psychoticbunny: The reason I haven't updated in a while is because I'm writing another fic and I switch off between updating both every three chapters. It's good because it gives me time to refresh my brain and the chapters come out better. The bad side it, I'm writing it in past tense, so I might get confused about that and switch a bit, but I always read the chapter over and edit so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. Now, to the review replies and away!
SilentAbyss- I'm taking it in… middle school. Yeah. I'm really young. I hope you don't hold it against me. It's the only year they offered it so I took it right away. Anyway, Temari is fourteen and Kankuro is sixteen. Their father is living with (and abusing) them and what happened to their mother will be explained later. Can't be giving anything away! ;D A lot of the Naruto characters names are weird. Who on Earth is named fishcake? But Itachi is my favorite. Hehe, ferret. I know that Orochimaru means something like son of Orochi, which is an evil 8 or 9 headed creature in a game called Okami, which is based on a Japanese legend. Oh well. I should shut up now and let you read the chapter.
Disclaimer: Somehow, I don't think Kishimoto would appreciate it if I barged into his house at one in the morning and demanded the copyright to Naruto.
Warnings: Cursing, extreeeeeemly brief mention of rape, and now sexual reference! XD XD XD (It's shounen-ai sexual reference too because my inner shounen-ai fan is getting restless.)
Psychoticbunny: Enjoy the chapter while I drool at Gaara! 'drools'
Gaara: Uh… this is kind of unnerving. 'looks disgusted at the buckets of drool the author is producing'
---
"Really! Don't laugh!" Gaara begs me for what must be the fiftieth time this day.
"I won't! I won't! How many more times to want me to tell you!" I'm getting a bit testy. Can he just relax? We're friends, and friends don't laugh at each other if they don't want them to.
He bites his lip and looks away from me. I've grown used to this and recognized he does it whenever he's embarrassed. I'm fine with whatever his apartment looks like, so long as his room has absolutely no pink whatsoever.
"Okay," he says. "We're here."
We've stopped in front of a tall building. Gaara is shifting through his backpack, searching for a key. He finally finds it and inserts it into the keyhole, holding the door open for me. That's surprising. I didn't think Gaara would have any manners.
I mutter, "Thanks," while I step in.
A blond girl coming down the hallway stops when she catches sight of us.
"Ah! So this is your friend. You know, Gaara just won't shut up about you so I'm really excited to meet you. I wish I didn't have work. Kankuro's coming home at five thirty. Don't lock him out like last time. He got really upset with me for because he thought I was getting back at him from yelling at me. Anyway, I'll be home at eight. Make sure you eat something and please try to sleep tonight."
Gaara talks about me? I feel a blush rising up on my face, yet I suppress it.
"You know I have insomnia," Gaara protests.
Oh. I guess he didn't wear eyeliner after all. To have all of those bags under his eyes, though. When was the last time he slept?
"I know, I know. Still, there's more of a chance of you getting sleep if you lay down instead of sitting at that table and moping all night, throwing dictionaries at the closet."
Gaara looks really angry with her, but all she does is chuckle playfully and ruffle his hair a bit before waving goodbye and exiting. Dictionaries? What on Earth did Gaara have against dictionaries and his closet?
"Let's go. Just don't-"
"Laugh," I complete for him. "You're way too worried. And who's Kankuro? Why'd you lock him out?"
"Kankuro's my older brother and I locked him out because he's an ass," he replies bluntly. Okay then.
There's a pause in the conversation until I decide to break the silence. "I didn't know you have insomnia. I always thought you were wearing eyeliner." I giggle, but Gaara just glares so I make my laughter die down.
Now I feel very uncomfortable so I shut my big, stupid mouth for the rest of the trip upstairs.
He opens the door to apartment 403 and holds the door open again.
"I know it's really small compared to your house and…" I tune him out, not in the mood to listen to him being insecure. I instead take a look around.
There's a small kitchen part of it with a table in the center. There are several cupboards, a sink, and a refrigerator. There's a closet opposite on the wall opposite of the kitchen. I assume it is the one Gaara's… actually, who is she? She's too young to be his mother so I guess she's his sister or neighbor.
Moving right along, there's a living room further back and three doors. They're probably bedrooms. I believe Gaara shares one with his brother and his parents have another. If he has a sister, she either has the third room or it's a bathroom. Speaking of bathrooms…
"Gaara, may I please use the bathroom?" I ask.
He nods and points to the middle door. I thank him and head there to relieve myself. This reminds me of how we first met. It's hard to believe that the only reason we're friends is because I needed to go to the bathroom.
When I get out, Gaara is working on his homework. I still don't get any due to the fact I have no idea what it says. After I learn English I'll be able to get homework too. The advantage is I have more time to study.
I take this chance to examine him, now that he's off guard. He's actually really pretty when he's not glaring at me (which he usually is). Although his fiery red hair sticks out all over the place, it looks cute. His nose is also abnormally cute.
…
Did I just call my friend's nose abnormally cute? This couldn't be good for my health.
I cough to alert him of my presence. He jumps, startled.
"Oh!" he sighs. "Jeez. You gave me a heart attack."
"Sorry," I say, inspecting my feet.
"That's fine. You just scared me."
Scared him? For some odd reason, I never expected Gaara to be scared of anything. He was kind of my idol. He was always so strong. He'd never let anyone push him around. He even locked his brother out of the apartment.
He was staring at me and I found myself blushing at his intense gaze.
"Um… Your nose is really cute, you know!" I exclaimed, desperate to advert his attention. I'm ready for him to insult me and give me his classic "You idiot" look. However, nothing of the sort happens. He simply turns head to the side, not at all succeeding in hiding the deep red hue his pale skin has transformed into.
"L-let's just get started!" he stutters?! Where's Gaara and what has that imposter done with him?
"Okay," I agree. "Oh, by the way, where are your parents?" I wanted to check for Ge ge's sake.
"Out."
"Out?" I repeat.
"Yeah. You know, the place other than your home." I have the feeling he's trying to make me feel like an idiot.
"Yes, I know what the outside is," I say more irritably than I expected. "Let's get to work already."
So that means we're all alone. Ge ge wouldn't like this at all. He dislikes it when I was alone anywhere, let alone in another person's home, especially a boy's. I'd have to make sure this information 'slips my mind.' I can't help feel a bit fuzzy inside my stomach when I sit down next to Gaara. I ignore the sensation.
---
This study date was certainly going in a bad direction. First, Temari has to go and blab that I 'never shut up' about Hinata. (This means I mention her a couple of times. I never talk much in the first place so it's equivalent to never shutting up.) Next, I make her feel uneasy by glaring at her. I didn't mean to. I just despise it when people say they think I wear eyeliner. It's really insulting. Besides, we can't afford any makeup. Temari gets teased for not wearing any. Then, Hinata says my nose is cute. No, it didn't make me feel good. Not at all. Nope.
…
Okay. I was really happy when she complimented me. Really embarrassed, yes, but also overjoyed. She thought I had a cute nose!
Maybe I was sick or something. It's not at all like my character to obsess over someone liking my nose. I always feel weird around Hinata too. Am I allergic to her or something?
"Um… Gaara?" Hinata waves her hand in front of my face.
"What?" I snap unintentionally. I see her recoil in her seat. I feel terrible. I'm really horrible to whomever I care about. I'm surprised anyone will come near me anymore. I murmur an apology so quietly I'm sure she has to strain her ears to hear, but her expression lightens considerably once I do.
"I've been trying to get your attention. Someone's at the door."
Kankuro. Now he's going to be pissed at me. Well, he's always pissed at me.
Nonetheless, I jump up and unlock the door to face my older brother. I haven't seen him in a while, not since I locked him out and he stormed up to me to scream at me for it. I tend to avoid him. I'll just say that we don't get along as well as we could.
"'Bout time," he mutters. We glare at each other for a moment until he pushes past me and enters our room. I know he'll scold me harshly later, however it seems as if he has something more important to take care of now. It could be anything, considering I was probably one of the least important things in his life. Perhaps I was somewhere near the value of the annoying drunk man who will occasionally come out at night and sing 'Mary had a Little Lamb' until he falls unconscious. I would think that he aggravates Kankuro more, for he's usually attempting to squeeze some sleep into his busy life, while I only sit at that table and get a headache. And people wonder why I'm so ill tempered all the time.
---
Gaara looks absolutely nothing like his sibling(s). They bare no resemblance. If that girl is his sister, then how in the world did he get that hair of his? Or how did she get her hair? Or maybe it was his brother. It's possible to not have the same hair color of either of your parents though. My friend in China had black hair along with her brother, mother, and father, but her sister's was a light brown. (1)
Still, I could see some similar traits between his brother and his sister. I'll call her his sister, regardless of whether or not she actually is. I could always ask Gaara…
"SHIT!"
It came from the room Gaara's brother went in. I'm immediately concerned.
"Is he okay?" I question.
"Why the hell would I know?"
I flinch. I didn't anticipate his reaction to be so… nasty. I get the feeling something is wrong.
I don't get the opportunity to think this through because a second later, Gaara's brother (Karnoku, right?) comes bursting out.
"Gaara! What the fuck did you do with those papers?" he seethes, approaching his younger sibling.
I can't help but gasp. He said the F word!
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Gaara responds coolly, paying no notice to my intake of breath.
"Yes, you do, you dumb ass! I need those papers for my new job! You already made me late by locking me out! I'm doing this for Temari! If I get this job, she can quit one of hers and rest a bit, you spoiled brat! I don't see you supporting this family at all! I don't even know why we still feed you! You're lucky Temari likes you, or else I'd have you in the orphanage in a blink of an eye!"
I want to cover my ears and block all of it out. I hate it when people shout. It makes scared. I start shaking all over. I feel like crying.
"I didn't do anything with those papers, I swear!"
"DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME!"
He now does something I would never dream of. He slaps Gaara across the face. The younger of the two clutches he cheek, but doesn't complain.
"I told you I didn't do anything with the papers, jackass! Why do automatically think everything's my fault!"
No, no. Stop. Please stop. There are other ways of solving your problems. There's no need to fight.
"Why do I think that? Because everything is! If you weren't born, none of this would have happened! We would've been a normal family! And I don't see you doing anything to repay us for still caring for you, you monster!"
"I'M NOT A MONSTER! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS HIM!"
I can't take it any longer. I begin sobbing uncontrollably.
"Stop it, the both of you! You guys are brothers!" I pause to heave in a giant breath that hurts my throat. "Fighting only makes everyone upset!"
I have to stop now. I'm crying too hard to say anything more. Still, it works. I don't hear any screaming. Instead I hear a door open and close. I can't see anything anymore for tears blocking my vision.
I feel a pair of arms wrap around my body. Is Gaara hugging me? I don't care. I just throw myself on him and bawl into his shirt. I bet I look like a moron, getting so riled up about a fight I'm not even involved with. I think Gaara definitely owes me some explanations after I calm down.
Eventually, my cries die down. Gaara is stroking my head peacefully. He's hushing me quietly. I hadn't noticed before.
"Gaara," I whisper hoarsely. "Why did he do that? Why did he seem like he hated you so much?"
"I… I… he was just mad. That was all."
I know it's a lie. I want Gaara to tell me what's going on in his life. I want to help him.
"Gaara. He slapped you. He was more than temporarily mad. That was built up anger he was letting out. Tell me what's wrong, please."
He's trying to wriggle out of the hug, but I wrap my arms firmly around his waist. He's not escaping.
"Gaara, trust me. I trust you. It's not fair that you don't trust me. I told you about what my parents made me do. I want to know, Gaara. I want to help."
"No one can help me. I can't trust anyone either. You should go home. It's almost six." There's no emotion in his voice. It's killing me. "You can go online and study some more English."
He isn't looking at me. His fingers are prying mine apart so he can be freed.
"Gaara," I say. He momentarily drops the task of detaching my arms from his waist and glances at me, moving only his eyes. "Never mind. My cousin's waiting."
I remove my arms and leave him standing in the kitchen section of his apartment.
---
The weekend passes without incident. I got injured, but thankfully it's on my back, so no one will notice the wound. I keep on thinking of how cold and unfeeling Hinata's last words to me were. So distant…
Like I am to her. She had revealed her whole story to me. She had broken down in front of me, cried in my arms, and I'm refusing to tell her anything at all. She's earned the right to that knowledge. I can't help treating her like I don't give a damn about her. It's simply part of my nature. I had rarely been given any love; therefore I had no idea how to show it to others. Ironic, really. The boy with the love scar barely has any impression of the foreign emotion.
No, the character on my forehead is not a tattoo. I don't get why people think so. It's a scar from a long time ago. My "father" had carved it into my forehead to show that I was only to love myself and to fight only for myself. It had never completely healed, turning to a faded red instead.
"Hey you!"
I spin around to the sound of the voice. Is that a boy or a girl? I can see he/she has some masculine features and has a fairly deep voice, but that hair is really confusing me. It's called a hair cut.
"You're Mistress Neji's friend!" he (?) claims. "What did you do to her?"
"Nothing." Was this her cousin? I do remember her telling me he's a bit overprotective at lunch on Thursday.
"I doubt that." Yeah, well, too bad.
"Why?" I feel a need to add on a question of what gender he/she was, but refrain. I don't want to make it more infuriated.
"She's been completely out of it. She's shut herself in her room and won't come out. She's barely eating anything and she missed a very important meeting. This is nothing like her at all, as you should know, but she looked very displeased when I had walked her home from your house. She described you to me. Now I want to know what happened there and why she's so… so… why she's acting this way," he demands. He was definitely Hinata's cousin then. Were all Hyuuga's forced to act like the opposite gender? Maybe I misheard Hinata and she actually told me her cousin was female.
"I haven't the faintest idea. May I see her after school today?" There was no way I was going to telling her (I've decided it's a girl by this point) all of the shit that goes on between my brother and me.
"No, you may not. I want to know what's wrong with her."
"Yeah. And I want your gender-confused ass out of here! Seriously, why the hell is your voice so deep?" That probably wasn't the wisest response. I see some veins bulge on Ms. Let's Baffle Everyone with my Unknown Gender.
"My. Voice. Is. Deep. Because. I. Am. Male." He seems to be too enraged to speak the sentence without pauses.
"Oh shit," I cuss in my native tongue. Unfortunately, I have forgotten that because he's Hinata's cousin, he probably speaks Chinese too.
"You! You are corrupting my innocent little cousin! How dare you!" Okay. This guy's officially more bothersome as the musical bum on the street. At least he shuts up.
"I don't give a damn! Just let me see her!"
"Never! You will never lay your filthy hands upon my dear Mistress!"
I raise my middle finger on my "filthy" right hand at him, smirking.
"You bastard!"
"Yes?"
Wait a minute. Damn it. I need to get on this guy's good side if I want to talk to Hinata's. Why do I realize that now? How the hell am I going to get on the good side of someone who hates my guts? Well, usually guys like this are able to convince with a certain strategy…
---
(2) Okay. Three words: What. The. Hell. I come down to Mistress Neji's school to find out what this bastard had done to harm her and now he's shamelessly flirting with me.
"You know, I don't know why on Earth I was thinking I was thinking you were a girl. You're so muscular," he says, smirking at me seductively and, gulp, admiring my body.
"Um… I… uh…" Truth be told, I was still unsure which ways my doors swung.
"Maybe we should get to know each other better so I don't make any more of those silly mistakes." He's now uncomfortably close to me. He glides his hand down my face, stopping at my chin. He gets up on toes to reach my lips and brushes against them with his own lightly.
I have to admit the boy's pretty cute, minus the eyeliner. His nose especially. In fact, I find I can't tear my eyes off him.
Wait. I'm about two or three years older than him, and I have no intention of dating anyone that young. Still, I've always thought pale skin is attractive… Oh. What would Master Hiashi do if he saw me in such a disgraceful act? I wonder what has possessed destiny to do such a cruel thing.
"I think we should definitely spend some time together alone in my room."
With the way I'm blushing, I feel and most likely resemble a lovesick schoolgirl now. I feel weak in my knees from the boys gaze. It's so focused, so concentrated. Oh god. Please tell me I'm not falling for this asshole. Oh please. This can't be my fate! Why does my cousin have to befriend probably the only gay boy in her school? Why does he have to be so good-looking? I have to distract him. I have to get out of this situation as soon as possible.
"Y-y-you c-can s-s-s-see Neji after s-school t-today. I'll p-p-pick you up," I stammer.
"Okay. See you later, cutie!" He winks and struts off.
I can't get any intelligent thought in my head. I'm too busy chanting under my breath.
"Must not stare at his ass. Must not stare at his ass."
---
One- Yes, this is possible. I actually have a friend just like that. Her brother, mother, and father have brown hair, yet her sister's hair is really light blond. Lighter than mine, that's for sure. My hair's dirty blond. I'm getting off track.
Two-Yeah. I just had to switch to Neji's p.o.v.
Psychoticbunny: Oh my god. I totally wasn't planning that whole scene with Gaara flirting with Neji. I was giggling for the whole time I was writing it. Oh my god. That was so much fun. Well, the next chapter should be out in a day or two! Bye!