He kept his eyes alert as they walked in the endless woods.
One week had passed.
They were hoping he knew what was next. But he didn't. He was just relieved they hadn't seen walkers in about an hour. His feet walking, his mind traveled back to his brother. These were like the woods Merle lost his life in. If he had not learned anything from his brother, it was to be careful for what you wish for. He had often thought his brother would die. The torture he brought to other people they crossed. The torture that he himself helped create. But things were not the same. This time changed him. His daughter changed him. He had only hoped her mother was proud of him.
He would keep his promise to Courtney. He had been there from the beginning. When she told him, there was no disbelief that this girl was his. And the paternity test proved what he already knew. Courtney was a lot of a things. But mainly his friend. His best friend who helped him become a man. She did better than his mother and father did. He loved her for that.
Just because they were casual didn't mean he didn't carry her with him in his heart. She was one of the good memories he had before the apocalypse. The bartender who could drink as much as him. And smoke more than him. They did have fun times. But when Shelby became pregnant, she changed. No more drinking. Smoking. They would be the parents they wished they had. And it was good until it ended. Watching her use all her strength to give him Shelby still broke his heart. The moment she didn't wake up. It still shook him to his core…
He looked down as he felt his daughter hold his hand.
"What's on yer mind squirt?" The girl bit her lip. "C'mon. Tell yer old man." The child gripped her crossbow.
She learned to live with fear. But seeing her father today. The way he was willing to get killed for them. She was upset and happy at the same time. She had finally had a mother and father. And he was willing to throw that away. Why?
"Its just that. I was really scared this morning. When those walkers….I thought you were gonna die. Just like Uncle Merle. And Mom." She said as the warrior and Kennedy listened. Straggling behind them.
"I know I never met her, but sometimes I dream about her. And I talk to her. And she is more beautiful than the picture I have of her." The man patted her head as she kept talking. "I don't want to have to remember you in my head." He was surprised by her mature comment.
"Yer mom was a special person. She had to be to deal with meh." The two chuckled as they looked to make sure the other two were behind them.
"She tells me how much she misses me. And she holds me." Her sad smile nearly made him cry. He had lost so much in his past that he tried to bury it. But somethings needed to be kept alive. For Shelby's sake.
"Ya are so much like her too." Daryl finally spoke as he stopped in their tracks. "ya have this life inside of ya. Nevah givin up. Yer a fighter. And that is what yer mother did. She fought so that ya could be alive. She don't regret it. I don't regret it either."
His words would have to suffice. Situations like these made him feel powerless. But he always felt like this. Being a parent was one of the hardest things in this world. Looking a child in their eyes. Having to explain predicaments that you knew they could not grasp until they were older. It was never enough for them.
Catching the ebony queen's eyes, her lips tugged slightly upward. A bittersweet smile. Somehow, they were able to talk with their eyes. She was telling him that he said the right thing to the child.
Daryl really cared for Shelby's mother. Of course he did. Even she had respect for Mike. He gave her Ken. They both faced the problem of keeping their resentment from their children. Hating the fact that they left them alone with this hard task to do by themselves. Were they really strong enough to watch over them? Holding Ken's hand, the chocolate girl smiled sweetly.
Holding her father's hand, his words were all Shelby needed to hear. He was talking more about her mother. That was all she ever wanted. A picture and cliché comments like "she loved ya" were not enough. And he understood that. And though she was gone, there was another woman who was able to love her in a way her mother could not.
"Was mom like Michonne?" Shelby asked as Daryl blushed. Were his feelings so obvious that a 10 year old saw?
"In a lot a ways she was." He admitted as the child shrugged. Her pigtails messy. Dirt and dried blood on her clothes. On all their clothes. But they were alive another day.
"Then maybe Michonne and Kennedy were sent by her. So that we won't be alone." Hesitantly saying as she looked up at him.
Listening to her words, he liked how they sounded. Maybe Courtney had some pull up there. He nearly laughed as he envisioned her with wings.
"Yeah. Maybe so."
TWDTWDTWDTWDT
His gut had not lead him wrong. The abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods. It seemed as if this place had not been touched by this harsh world. Bright flowers grew. Tall trees with healthy leaves gave them cover from the sun. wiping the sweat off of his forehead, he caught his breath as he released a sigh. Falling to his knees, the three smiled too. The warrior was smiling.
And he had put it there. This was a place that could keep them safe for a little while longer. But for much longer? He would not think of it.
The cautious mother looked at the fallen pecans on the ground. And the ripe tomatoes and berries in the bushes around the cabin. Was this too good to be true? She had to stop being pessimistic. There were good things in this world. Her daughters.
Daryl.
Helping the man off of his feet, the four became alert as they heard moans inside the wooden walls.
Well at least they knew what happened to the occupants. Taking charge, the father opened the door, walking slowly. Warning the two girls to be careful with his eyes. Entering the living room, he held his crossbow tightly as he saw walker on the ground. Stretching out his arms. No legs could be seen. Without thought the man shot it in his head.
"Girls ya alright?" He yelled as they searched the bedrooms, kitchen, bathrooms and closets. God was in their favor. This place was small. But it was good enough for them now.
"He was probably a diabetic or war veteran." Michonne looked at the carcass as they spotted the wheelchair.
"Don't matter no ways." Daryl effortlessly picked up the body as he laid it on the ground outside. Turning his head to berries as he picked some. Handing them to his family. The mother rejected the kind gesture as her girls took advantage.
"Ya got tah eat 'Chonne." Chastising her as she still refused. Her purpose was making sure the girls were getting enough. This place was giving them shelter. It would be too much if it gave them food too.
Daryl rolled his eyes at her as he picked some tomatoes handing them to the children. He never thought he would see the day when kids would love eating vegetables. Tomorrow he would focus on their means of protection. Right now he would make the mother eat.
"Michonne."
"Daryl. I am fine. The girls need nutrition."
"And so do yah. I ain't gone stop." He held up a berry as he put it in her mouth. Rubbing her bottom lip gently.
"Ya don't want to become invested in this place. But look at the smaller picture. We got a little food to tide us over. I saw some deer prints too. Let's make it work for now." She could not disagree as she chewed.
The moment happened so fast to register it. He was trying to get her to eat. To not think about the negative. Or the corrupt. He kept his ears on their children. But his eyes were on her. Hearing her gasp, the archer was waiting for her to stop him. Licking his lips, he leaned down as her hands pressed into his chest.
"Mom. Dad. Can we have a picnic?" The two ran up to them as they quickly jumped apart. Seeing the flushed looks on their face.
And the silence between them.
"Let's get this house settled in first." He looked at Michonne as she followed suit.
TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD
She was confused. Was she supposed to pretend that it didn't happened? It seemed as if he did. Then why couldn't she? Because she didn't want to. For once she was thinking about herself and her needs. But the moment was gone now. And she didn't know if she could get it back. Not with her walls so high again. And her body in control. How could she let him get so close to her?
Once again, the irrational side guided her thoughts. The past nights, they could not go to sleep without the feel of each other's skin. She never thought that in this world she would crave the feel of a man. But he wasn't just some man. He was Daryl Dixon. A jack of all trades. A man who underestimated his own power. The man who she was for sure would beat this world.
She was only Michonne. The single mother who hid behind her cold exterior. Shutting off her mind as she did what was best for her daughter. Their daughters.
Here they were. Using the little supplies they had left to clean up their new home. Everything was unknown again. But she had to admit that she hadn't really had another "home" until she met the gruff hunter and his daughter.
They had to find some form of protection.
And a car.
And the nearest town to get supplies.
The unconventional man's presence had this toll on her. She could not focus with him this close to her. Unpacking boxes they found in the narrow hallway closet. Sitting on the floor together, her mind made her see them as a regular family moving into a new home. Listening out for their daughters in the other room, they relaxed as they heard them giggle. It was as if the cracks in the walls and floors did not exist. Nor the dry plaster that was scattered on the blood stained carpet.
"Daryl." She began as her throat grew tight. Asking the question with her eyes as he licked his lips.
Years without a woman did this to him. She wasn't going to stop him. He was expecting to get rejected. Even worse. But the moment she leaned into him, the archer knew it was alright. He was new to this.
Women were the ones who approached him. Even Courtney was the one to approach him. It was like this world brought out a new side of him. A side that scared himself more.
But that gave him no excuse to push himself on her. This woman was the mother of their children. He had to respect that. He had to put her needs before his. Her eyes demanded an explanation. She wanted the truth but she couldn't handle that.
"I." He couldn't put her through this. "I don't know what to say. I mean. What happened earlier. I mean what was about to happen." Stuttering as the two tried to address the awkward moment.
"I ain't the guy to force myself on yah." Shamed as Michonne touched his shoulder.
"No. No." Daryl listened to her soft tone that was no longer threatening. He never heard her sound so gentle before.
"I wanted it to happen. I did. " Her heart controlled her tongue as she spoke without thought.
"It's just." She paused as the man lowered his shoulders in disappointment. The warrior had to make this right.
"It's been so long since I have had this. And I don't know what to do next." She was honest as he nodded.
"I just don't know why you keep doing so much for me. For us. This house. You have given so much to us and I have given you guys nothing. Absolutely nothing." Defeat in her voice as the man moved the boxes to the side.
"Michonne. Ya have given meh more than ya know. I don't feel like I'm in this all by myself. Ya don't let meh doubt my instincts. Yer…." He paused as she licked her lips. "We all need a fresh start. This is ours." He stated.
"Do you really believe that? That we can rely on this? How do you know that everything will work itself out? We are searching boxes for anything to help us survive another day."
His eyes were so blue. And she was so close to him. but she didn't know how to take what she wanted. Her hands shook as she gripped her pants.
"Tah be honest I don't but something keeps makin meh try." He read her eyes as he leaned in again.
Please don't stop this.
"and what's that?" She whispered as his lips caught hers. No cringing. No flinching. Only the feel of his hands on her face. And hers on his. His tongue twirling with hers as she felt tears in her eyes. But this was not of hurtful flashbacks. She was waiting for this moment. To feel as if she were floating.
The bruising sensation of his lips on hers. It was as if he needed to breathe. Her warm tongue with his. He had waited so long for a woman like this. To not find his silence as a fault. Or his hard nature as repulsion. But that was what this world did. It made you see past all the insignificant. All the materialistic things that didn't matter.
All that mattered was that there was another day. And that you had food. Shelter. And the most important people in your lives at your side.
TWDTWDTWDTWD
Shelby looked at their room that they just cleaned up. Well attempted too. The old wall paper that hung from wall. The blood stains on the carpet. The broken door of the closet. It wasn't like before the apocalypse, but it would do for them. It was no use for her mom and dad to tell them this was their last move. And she understood why Michoone was so resistant to stay. Looking at her little sister attempt to place books on the old wooden shelf, she sat on the queen sized bed. At least it wasn't a twin.
At least she had a light hearted sister to share this world with. A girl who did not think she was crazy for "talking" to her mother. The same girl who taught her how to pray. Not saying that she believed in God, but there had to be some force keeping them alive. And for giving her the family she had longed for.
"Here you go." Ken broke her concentration as she gave the archer an empty picture frame. "I know its plastic but at least you can put your mom's picture in it." The little warrior bit her lip as she sat beside the other.
It wasn't the most comfortable bed. But it was theirs. At least there was a spread. And dusty cabinets to put their clothes in.
"thanks Ken." She took the crumpled paper from her pocket. Placing it in the little frame.
"she was really beautiful." the chocolate girl said as the other looked at the picture with sadness.
"Yeah. She was. Dad says I have her personality. I'm just glad that he is finally opening up to me about her. But in a way he doesn't get it like you do. There is just that part of me that wants to accept things for the way they are, but I wonder why I can't." Ken listened to her sister as she put the girl's head on her shoulder.
"Nothing is wrong with you. She is your mother. she always will be. You love her. And no one can blame you. at least she was taken. My dad had the choice to be without my mom and me." Shelby saw the girl try to be strong.
She had no right to unload her problems on this girl. She could create memories of her mother. Her last memory was not of her mother leaving out the front door. Unlike Ken. Sitting up, she hugged the curly haired girl.
"Kennedy. I'm sorry. I am. I don't want you to think that I don't want you or Michonne as my mother. The moment I met you guys I knew you two were going to be a part of me and Dad's life. And I…"
"No. No. its alright. I love you and Daryl but there is still that part of me that envisions my dad still alive and he comes back for me and mom. Not to be a family again, but just to tell us that he was sorry. I remember when he tried to apologize to mom before. Once again I was listening on the other line. He didn't even come to the house. He accepted no as an answer. He stopped trying. I will always hate him for that. That's why I love Daryl so much. He loves me and Mom so much."
"Just like Michonne loves me and Dad. She's hard around the edges but inside she cares with all her heart. I was so scared when I thought you two were leaving us. I'm glad ya decided to stay."
"Me too." The two laughed as they heard their stomachs growl. Grabbing their weapons, they gasped as they saw their parents kissing. Biting their lips to keep from squealing. It did not help as the two adults jumped apart as they collected themselves.
"Mom. Dad. We're hungry." The two knew not to address what they saw. Even though their parents knew they had some explaining to do.
TWDTWDTWDTWD
The two adults looked at their children as they hid their embarrassment. Not of their feelings. But that they were caught. What was their title for each other? Were they boyfriend and girlfriend? Rules from the past did not apply to now. And to be honest she did not care about the title. All she wanted was to feel his lips again. And feel his body against hers as they slept in the same bed. Watching the rugged man attend to his task, she felt her girls stand at her side.
"So does this mean that you two are together now?" Kennedy asked as the mother looked down on her.
"Kenn. We are all together." The warrior tried to play it off.
"You know what I mean mom." The mother looked at the two growing girls. They were getting a little bit taller. And their hair was growing. But their bright eyes remained the same.
"Girls what ever happens between me and your father. I want you two to know that we are in this together. Even if something bad does happen, I will still be here. " The mother saw Shel's immediate distress.
"Does my father still scare you?" Her light voice struck her heart.
"No baby. "
"Then why do you think something bad will happen?" Ken concluded as Michonne grabbed both their hands. Sitting them on the floor as she took a deep breath.
If she didn't speak to them about this, then she would not be a good mother. She did not want her two daughters to endure this torture. Her fingers fidgeting, the two girls waited patiently as their mother opened her mouth. No words coming out as she gained her nerve.
"Girls. My past." She paused. "My attack." She looked at their saddened faces. "I don't want you guys to ever be put in that position. People can hide behind their smiles and their kind gestures. Waiting for you to drop your guard. And you can't do that. You couldn't do it before and you can't do it now. No one should be forced to experience something they are not ready to. What that man did to me…..people don't care anymore. Especially children. It doesn't matter as long as they get what they want." She cried as the two girls embraced her.
"You girls have to promise me that you two will always look out for each other. If anything happens to me or your dad. You have to promise me that." The mother held onto them tightly as the redneck entered the home.
Staring at his girls on the ground, he set the four dead snakes on the cracked kitchen counter. Sitting beside them, the girls wiped their eyes. And he found himself drying his own. To think of Michonne bearing that excruciating pain hurt his …..he had to let her know that he was here with her. And with his daughters.
Pulling them close to him, he sat the two girls on his lap as he rested his affection next to him. holding her hand. Nervous that she would pull away. But she did not. Looking at him, her eyes said everything her mouth could not process. She was waiting for him to say something. To make her feel safe. Protected.
"Michonne I know their aint no cure. But all I want is fer ya and tha girls to believe in meh. And this family." He paused as their eyes widened in surprise. He had never spoken so firmly about his emotions before.
"I never had an old man tah look up too. It was practically meh and Merle. And he wasn't the best teacher either. But one thing I wanted growing up was to feel wanted. To get a good nights sleep, to just have somebody. And now things have changed." He felt the woman tighten her hold on his hand.
"I want to be that man that I never had in my life. The father to ya two. The man that ya need." He told them.
Michonne was changing him in every way. And she didn't even know it. It was the simple fact that she chose him to depend on. What was so special about him? In his eyes, she was his….she was the person that made everything alright with her sharp tongue and nurturing ways. And somehow he had the power to break through her defenses.
Right now the two were alone. The warrior was resting her head on his shoulder as the two girls began to wander in the small cabin. The berries feeding their hunger for a while longer.
If the dead had not have started walking, she would have never met this man. And she would have never grown with the man. She had gone through so much pain in her life to finally get to this point. To finally let this man inside.
"I know it don't make no difference, but if I were there. I would have stopped him." He stated.
"I know that." She listened to her daughters laugh and play. "The girls know that too. I couldn't tell them everything. They are too young to experience those kind of nightmares. And even in this world, I want to save the littlest amount of innocence they have. And what I told them was enough. For now."
"But what about you?"He asked.
"I'm good. I've been waiting to feel this way for a while now." She stood up as she helped him up. Hearing the grumble of their stomachs worsen.
"How bout we do that picnic?" He grabbed the dead snakes from the counter.
"I would really like that." She aided him as she gave him a gentle smile. "Me and my parents would have a picnic in the park every Saturday with Ken. And everything just seemed right in the world. "
"I know I can't give ya that feeling but….." Daryl began as Michonne touched his wrist.
"No. no Daryl. You do give me that feeling. More than you know." She licked her lips as he stared at her lips once again. "I mean. What I am trying to say is. I. you. me. Us." She shook her head as she paused.
"Michonne." He savored her name falling from his lips. His hard voice did not scare anymore. It only gave her comfort as her shoulders relaxed. "We. If 'we' is what you want then….."
"Daryl what do you want? I mean. Since the moment we met you have been doing everything for us. Now it is your time do you want?" She asked as her heart stopped beating. She hoped he flet the same way.
His eyes focused on her as his mouth became dry. It was as if there were no words created to explain his feelings for her. They were not strong enough to explain the passion and innocent pleasure he had from touching her. Kissing her. Being near her. She was telling him to not think. Just act. But what if his actions scared her away. Or worse. His words. But he had to say something to her.
"You." He said as the warrior stood still. Her lips forming a bright smile. That one single word was all the promise she needed for a better future. No matter how long that would be.
Grabbing his hard hands in hers, Michonne realized how his hand was made for hers. And hers for his.