Part 4. That's Amore
Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Charlie enter the gymnasium, which has been decked out with streamers and balloons for the dance.
Token, wearing a tuxedo and a frown, greets them at the door.
"Welcome to the Martin Luther King Day dance," he says in a tired monotone. "Please leave your coats in the storage closet. Direct all music requests to the DJ."
Kyle, Kenny, and Charlie head over to deposit their coats in the closet. Cartman doesn't: he stays rooted to the spot, looking around the gymnasium in confusion.
"Token," he says after a long pause, "…the fuck?"
"What?"
"Where are all the Cajuns and gangstahs and professional athletes?" Cartman demands.
"What are you talking about? It's a dance. Go dance," Token says with annoyance, gesturing toward the mostly empty dance floor.
Cartman glares at Token. "Goddamn it! I came here for soul and funk and rhythm and blues, not middle-class white suburban garbage! I want my racial stereotypes!"
Token, annoyed and now also offended, grabs Cartman by the front of his shirt. "I spent six hours getting this goddamn dance ready, and nobody even asked me if I wanted to do it! So you get out there and have a good time, you son-of-a-bitch!"
Cartman, looking intimidated, backs away slowly.
"Okay, man, it's all cool, it's all cool," he says in a low voice, holding his hands out in front of his body. "Just don't shoot me, man, alright?"
Token, enraged, charges at Cartman, who flees. Token chases after him.
Meanwhile, Charlie smiles as she walks past some of the other fourth graders at the dance. They stare at her oddly. She approaches the girls.
"Hey guys!" she says cheerfully. "What's up?"
Nelly smirks. "She really did it," she says to the other girls. "I can't believe she really did it."
The girls start laughing.
Charlie smiles, but looks confused. "Who did… what?"
Red flashes her a smile. "Oh, nothing," she says. She turns back to the other girls. "So anyway, it was Bradley this time. He's such a sweetheart. I almost felt bad when I had to tell him 'no.'"
"Tell him 'no' about what?" asks Charlie.
"About going to the dance, of course, silly," laughs Red. "We all get asked to dances, and we always say no, because boys are losers. I got asked by Bradley Biggle."
Charlie looks at the group. "You all got asked to the dance by boys?"
"Of course," says Bebe. "Clyde asked me… I said no, of course."
"Clyde asked me too," says Millie.
"And me," adds Heidi with a smile. "I was his third choice!"
"Jimmy asked me," Nelly says.
"I got asked by Jason," says Lola.
"Jason asked you again?" asks Nelly.
"Yes," sighs Lola. "He just doesn't seem to understand that the answer will always be the same."
Jason walks up behind her, looking sad.
"Why do you force me to relive my heartbreak? You wretched, wretched siren!"
He runs away in tears. Lola rolls her eyes.
"So who asked you, Charlie?" asks Lola with a sweet smile.
"Oh… Oh, Kevin asked me," Charlie says nervously, unaware that Kevin Stoley is standing just a few feet behind her.
"No I didn't," Kevin says, giving her a funny look before walking away.
Charlie looks at the girls, who all stare at her with stony expressions, before quickly explaining, "I meant Kevin McCormick. You know, Kenny's older brother."
"The seventh grader?" asks Red.
"Yes," Charlie says quickly.
The girls glance at each other for a few seconds without speaking. Finally, Millie chirps, "Kevin McCormick is so hot."
"I would give anything to go out with Kevin McComrick," sighs Bebe. "He's so—" Suddenly, Bebe seems to snap back to reality. She looks at Charlie with suspicion. "Wait a minute. There is no way that Kevin McCormick asked you to the dance."
Charlie looks nervous and doesn't respond.
"Hey, look, there's Kenny," says Bebe. "Kenny! Kenny!"
Kenny walks up to the group.
"(Hello, ladies. Looking for a ride on the Ken Train? All aboard!)"
Bebe, choosing to ignore his greeting, asks, "Did your brother ask Charlie to the dance?"
Kenny looks at Charlie, confused.
"Okay, okay, nobody asked me to the dance," Charlie admits.
"That's what I thought. Nobody as hot as Kenny's brother would ask out a fourth grader," Bebe says. Kenny looks a little disgusted, then he walks away.
"So what are we going to do now, guys?" Charlie asks, eager to change the subject.
"Hang out," says Red.
The girls all take out their phones and begin to text. Cartman runs by, panting, with Token hot on his tail.
"Angry black man! Somebody! …Call! …Police!" Cartman gasps.
A little while later, Charlie, who doesn't own a cell phone, is still standing with the girls (who are still texting). She sighs.
"Are we going to do anything else?" she asks
Bebe looks up at her. "Why don't you go dance?"
Charlie glances over at the mostly vacant dance floor in the center of the gymnasium. Then she looks back at the girls. "Just… by myself?" she asks, shrugging slightly. "Are you guys coming?"
"We'll be there in a few," Bebe says as she checks an incoming text. "Relax. People dance by themselves all the time."
"Oh. Okay."
Charlie walks to the dance floor, looking a bit confused. She awkwardly starts to dance around by herself. Kyle and Kenny stare at her from the snack table.
"(What the fuck is she doing?)" Kenny asks.
Kyle sighs and shakes his head. "I have no idea."
Butters walks up to Charlie. His hair is slicked back and he's wearing a light blue suit.
"Oh, uh, hey, Charlie."
"Hi Butters," Charlie says as she continues to dance solo.
Butters clears his throat. "Uh, may I have this dance?"
Charlie glances over at him. "Sorry, I'm supposed to be dancing by myself."
"Oh," Butters says, looking around. "Uh, well, can I dance next to you? I kind of feel like a loser dancing all alone."
"Yeah, I think that's okay," Charlie answers, looking over at the girls.
The girls start giggling as they watch Charlie and Butters dance next to each other. Kyle, who has watched the whole exchange, looks over at the girls, then at Charlie. He starts to look a little pissed. Clenching his fists, he walks up to his friend.
Charlie smiles at him. "Hi Kyle!" she says, not missing a beat. "Isn't this dance the coolest?"
Kyle scowls. "Charlie, what are you doing? Did those bitches put you up to this?"
Charlie stops dancing and glares at Kyle.
"Nobody put me up to anything. And they aren't bitches. They're my friends."
Kyle looks exasperated. "What? They aren't even nice to you!"
Charlie looks insulted. "Yes they are! They're nicer to me than anybody else ever has been! Now if you'd pardon me, I'm going to hang out with my friends."
She walks angrily away from Butters and Kyle and goes up to Bebe's group. They're huddled around Lola, who is doing something with her cell phone.
Charlie stops a few feet in front of them. "Hey, are you guys going to dance or what?"
Bebe smirks at her. "Hey, Charlie. Look what we have."
Lola shows Charlie her cell phone. She is texting pictures of Charlie dancing in the polka-dot dress to other kids in the school.
Charlie looks at the pictures and stops smiling. She looks up at the girls. "Why are you sending people pictures of me?"
Bebe rolls her eyes. The girls giggle.
"You really are stupid, Charlie," she sighs.
Charlie's eyes dart down, then back up. "What…?"
"You really thought we wanted to be your friends?" Bebe scoffs.
Charlie stares at the group. She doesn't know what to say. Ten or fifteen feet behind her, Kyle, Butters, and Kenny are watching.
Charlie finally asks in a shaky voice, "Why did you…?" Her voice trails off.
Heidi answers her question anyway. "We just needed something entertaining to do. So we gave you a makeover."
"A really crappy makeover," Lola sneers. "Keep rocking those polka dots, girl."
Charlie looks down at her dress as the girls giggle. She looks back up at them, surprised and hurt.
Red chimes in. "Nice dancing, by the way. You really know how to move."
Charlie stares at the group, wide-eyed. "But… I thought…" She holds onto the skirt of the dress and looks down at it. "You said the dress was cute."
Bebe smiles. "We lied. It isn't. It's ugly, just like you." The girls giggle. Bebe leans closer to Charlie and, in a low voice, she says, "Remember the List, Charlie."
Charlie bites her lip and looks down.
Kyle storms up to the girls, now fully pissed off.
"You guys are real bitches, you know that? Why would you do that to her?"
Charlie looks uncomfortably at Kyle.
Bebe rolls her eyes. "Oh please, Kyle."
"I'm serious!" Kyle cries, holding his arms out. "All she ever did was try to be your friend, and you just had to tear her down."
The girls begin to sigh and roll their eyes. Lola raises her eyebrows and smiles, saying, "God, it was just a joke. Have a sense of humor."
Kyle is more indignant than ever. "It was not just a joke! You pretended to be her friend, got her to do embarrassing things, and then told her what you were doing in the middle of a dance. That's the bitchiest thing you have ever done." He pauses for a breath of air. "And why did you call her ugly? She is not ugly!"
"She's a little ugly," Bebe says quietly, a little smile on the corner of her mouth.
"No she isn't!" Kyle yells. "Fuck you guys! Come on, Charlie, let's go."
He grabs Charlie's hand and pulls her out of the gym. Kenny and Butters glance at each other.
Charlie looks at the ground and taps her knuckles together as they exit the school, trying not to cry. Kyle stands a few feet in front of her. He sighs and looks at the ground.
"Sorry."
"It's okay," Charlie sniffles, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. "I—I'm sorry I didn't believe you. You were right. Th-those girls were bitches."
Kyle looks angry again. "I just don't get it. Why would they do that?"
"Because I'm stupid enough to fall for it."
Kyle faces her.
"Charlie, you're not stupid."
Charlie holds back tears. "Y-yes I am. I'm an idiot."
"You just wanted to be their friend," Kyle says.
Charlie sniffles and laughs. "Doesn't that make me an idiot?"
Kyle laughs weakly. Charlie sighs and sits down on the steps to the school. She still looks hurt. After a few seconds, Kyle sits down next to her. They both rest their heads in their hands.
Charlie sighs. "I thought I was finally making some new friends. I mean, apart from you and Stan and Kenny, and Cartman and Butters, if you count them, I haven't made any friends since I moved here. And that was more than a year ago."
Kyle glances over at her. "Well, why do you need more friends?"
"I don't know. I guess I kind of thought it'd be nice to have some friends who were girls. I mean, so far they all just think I'm ugly and weird. And now they probably think I'm stupid too."
Kyle sits up. "Charlie, listen to me: you might be a little weird, but you're not ugly, and you're not stupid."
Charlie sniffles and wipes her nose again. She stands up and walks closer to the curb, looking out at the mountains. "I kind of started to feel like I was going to fit in. Like… like maybe everything was going to start changing."
Kyle looks at her but doesn't say anything.
Charlie sighs. "I know it's stupid, but I sort of thought that if they could all change the way that I looked, and if they started to treat me like a friend, that I'd start to feel different. Like a different person, sort of. Does that make any sense?"
"Not really," Kyle answers.
Charlie looks down and swallows. She turns to face him but looks at the ground. "Kyle? Did you really mean it when you said I'm not ugly?"
Kyle stands up and walks over to her. He wears an utterly serious expression.
"Of course you're not ugly."
Charlie's lips twitch into a half smile. She continues, "Because, you know, they voted me the ugliest girl in class."
Kyle scowls and declares, "That's just because they're a bunch of retards who wouldn't recognize a pretty girl even if she danced in front of them in a stupid polka-dot dress!"
Charlie, still shell-shocked, looks up at Kyle. In a single quick movement she leans forward, kisses him, and returns to her original position. Then she looks at the ground again, embarrassed. Kyle stares at her, surprised. Neither of them says anything for several seconds.
Finally Charlie speaks. "Sorry."
Kyle looks at the ground too. "That's okay."
They're quiet for a few more seconds.
"I'm sorry I made fun of your hair," Charlie says.
Kyle looks up again. "Huh?"
Charlie looks back at him. "You know, a few days ago, when I laughed at your hair? I didn't mean it."
Kyle looks up in the direction of his hat. "Oh. That's okay."
Charlie scratches her shoulder. "Well, it was just bothering me. It was totally uncalled for. Your hair is very nice."
Kyle smiles shyly at her.
"Thanks. Do you want to come play X-Box at my house?"
Charlie looks at him again. She also smiles nervously.
"Sure," she says.
They walk down the sidewalk next to each other. After a few seconds, Kyle takes Charlie's hand. A few more moments pass. Then Charlie starts to sing.
"Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam; where the deer and the antelope play."
Kyle joins in.
"Where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day."
Awhile later, Charlie and Kyle are playing X-Box at Kyle's house. Charlie is still wearing her stupid polka-dot dress. Kyle has his hat off. They glance at each other and smile shyly.
Stan walks into the house. He looks relieved to see them.
"Oh, good, you guys are here. Kenny told me what happened."
Charlie looks over at him. "Huh?"
Stan looks confused. "About the girls being bitches?"
Charlie now remembers, but she doesn't look bothered by it. "Oh, yeah. Those chicks are total hoes. It's all right though. I don't really care so much anyway."
Stan looks at her oddly. "Don't you want to, you know, change out of that stupid dress?"
"Charlie doesn't care that her dress is stupid," says Kyle.
Charlie grins. "That's right. I like it."
Cartman walks in, his clothes sweaty and dirty from his probable fight with Token. He stares at Kyle.
"Kyle, dude. Put away the Jewfro, nobody wants to see that shit."
"Fuck you, Cartman," says Kyle.
"I like Kyle's hair," Charlie says. "I think it's awesome."
Charlie and Kyle smile at each other.
Cartman looks at the two of them. "Holy mother of Jesus, it's happened."
"What happened?" asks Stan.
Cartman begins to sing in a vaguely Italian accent. "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore. When the world starts to shine like you've had too much wine you're in looove…"
Kyle glances over at Charlie and smiles slightly. "Shut up, fat-ass."
Cartman ignores him and continues singing. "When you waaaalk… in a dreeeeam… but you knooow you're not dreaming… Signoo-ooreee… 'Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli, that's amore!"
Aw, I think it's cute. Probably not going to play into any of my future stories, but still...
And it ain't over 'til the kid with the orange parka sings, so stay tuned for one last part.