Chapter 3: Road Trip

BlueTiger321: So now that Josh and Martin have made their decision, it's time for me to write about their adventure. If you hadn't laughed before, then you're definitely gonna laugh out loud now! Enjoy!

The next day had arrived and Josh and Martin woke up early to get on the highway to head for Aspen. Due to their lack of funds, they could not afford airline tickets and were forced to drive the whole way. But they both knew that it was going to be a great experience with just the two of them out on the open road in the van.

Martin drove while Josh sat beside him and was now clothed in his regular apparel: a black T-shirt with a big red stripe going down the centre, black fingerless gloves, blue jeans with a chain dangling from the right side, and black shoes.

Onward they drove down the winding highway with the Atlantic Ocean sitting right next to the road and geese called out as they flew. The drive may take a considerable amount of time but they knew that it would be worth it: Martin because he would expect some kind of reward for their good deed, and Josh because he would get the chance to see Korra again and confess his true feelings.

As they kept driving, Josh looked down the highway and moved his arms up and down to make it seem like he was jogging. Martin saw it out of the corner of his eye and looked at him like he'd gone insane.

"Josh, what are you doing?" asked Martin.

"It feels like you're running at an incredible rate, Martin," replied his friend.

"Would you quit it? We're not even through Connecticut yet and already you're annoying me."

Josh saw that he was bothering his friend so he sat back in his seat. "Sorry," he said.

"Jeez."

"We're really doing it though, aren't we, buddy?" Josh said excitedly.

"Yeah," agreed Martin.

The pair eventually drove down a regional road to get to the next exit, and that's when Martin noticed that Josh was snacking on a small bag of tortilla chips. "Hey, where'd you get those?" he asked.

"I bought 'em when we filled up," Josh answered.

"Well…" Martin then began to stutter as he believed that Josh just spent their money so recklessly on something as measly as a bag of chips. He eventually found the right words to say. "We're supposed to talk about all expenditures, Josh. We are on a very tight budget."

Josh ate another chip and said, "This didn't come out of our travel fund."

Hearing that made Martin relieved and he said, "Oh" like he understood it.

"No, I was able to raise twenty-five extra bucks before we left."

Now Martin was curious to find out how his friend was able to get that money. He looked at his friend while still keeping close attention to the road. "Where did you get twenty-five extra bucks?"

"I sold some stuff to Toph in 4C."

Martin then looked at Josh like he had done something incredibly wrong. "The blind kid?" he exclaimed.

Josh laughed and said, "Yeah!" It was then that he thought he should be ashamed of himself for taking advantage of a blind child. "Yeah," he said ashamedly.

"What did you sell her, Josh?"

Josh really didn't think it was that big of a deal, so he calmly said, "Stuff."

But Martin wasn't convinced by that. "What kind of stuff?"

Hunching his shoulders, Josh said, "A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles…" He then tried to hide the next item by coughing it out. "Paulie."

Martin noticed it and looked at Josh like he had truly gone insane. "Paulie? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?" Now he was truly flustered. "Josh, that-that… what are you…"Again he stuttered to find the right words. "Paulie didn't even have a head!"

"Martin," said Josh, "I took care of it."

Back in Providence outside of Martin and Josh's apartment building, the young blind girl Toph, who was dressed in green and yellow clothing with her black hair in a bun, sat in a wheelchair and happily stroked Paulie's body, not even noticing that his head had been put back in place with duct tape.

"Pretty bird," said Toph. "Yeah, can you say 'pretty bird'? Pretty bird. Yes, pretty bird. Pretty bird."

It was then that Cain and Harley walked past her and headed for the entrance. Harley looked at the child like she was making a fool out of herself for having a dead bird in her hands and thinking it was alive—while thinking to herself that it looked awfully familiar—but then she set her sights on what she and her cohort set out to do, which was to get the briefcase back.

"Polly want a cracker?" said Toph.

The two made their way up to Josh's and Martin's apartment only to find a note taped to the door. On it was written, Dear Gas Man: Packed up and moved to Aspin. Sorry about the $. Josh and Martin. Right after the last sentence, a smiley face was drawn. But the note did nothing but infuriate Cain and Harley.

"Those rat bastards," Cain said as he ripped the note off the door. "They're rubbing it right in our faces."

"Man," said Harley. "Andore'll have a goddamn hemorrhage if we don't get that briefcase back."

Cain looked at the note while he took out his medicine bottle and popped some of the pills into his mouth. "They must have been following us for weeks."

"Why you say?" asked Harley.

"'Gas Man.' How the hell do they know that I got gas?"

Not realizing it was just a coincidence, Harley said, "They gotta be pros."

Cain put the pills away and said, "Don't worry. We're gonna get that money back. And I'll tell you something else: they ain't never gettin' to Aspen. I'm gonna see to that." In a rage, Cain crumpled up the note in his hands and also demonstrated what he was going to do to the two who dared to interfere.

It was now noon and Josh and Martin stopped at a truck stop in Pennsylvania to have lunch. The van was parked outside and seemed like an eye sore to everyone who walked outside.

Inside the restaurant Josh and Martin sat at their booth while a waitress named Mrs. Turner (Fairly OddParents) walked over with their two orders of burgers and fries. Josh was busy looking through the mini jukebox on the table to see what he and his friend could listen to while they ate.

"They got The Monkees," said Josh. "They were a major influence on The Beatles."

"Yeah, I know," said Martin.

The waitress brought their orders and then walked away. Josh then thought of having a little fun so he called out to her. "Excuse me, Flo?" he said.

The two then cracked up, remembering that it was a reference to the TV show Alice. Mrs. Turner just rolled her eyes and stared at the two, and Martin could barely contain his laughter so he covered his face.

"Flo, like the TV show," explained Josh when he was finished laughing. "Uh, what is the 'soup du jour'?"

"It's the soup of the day," replied Mrs. Turner.

"Mmm… That sounds good. I'll have that."

"Anything else before I leave the area?" said the waitress.

"No," said Martin. He then remembered something and held out his glass. "Yes, yes, my soda's flat. It doesn't have any bubbles."

Mrs. Turner then took hold of the glass with an annoyed look on her face and blew into the straw to make bubbles, spilling out some soda onto the floor in the process. Martin looked up at her with a worried expression and then saw the waitress slam the glass on the table.

"Happy now?" Mrs. Turner said irritably and then walked away.

Martin looked at his soda and felt like he may have upset the waitress in some way.

"Feels good to mingle with these laid-back country folk, don't it, Martin?" Josh said happily. "I like it a lot."

Martin said nothing; he merely reached for his soda and brought it closer to him, not noticing that he knocked over something on the table.

"Uh-oh," said Josh.

"What? What's the matter?" asked Martin.

To make his point, Josh picked up the salt shaker and blew away whatever salt was on the table. "You spilled the salt, that's what's the matter." He then went on a superstitious rant. "Spilling the salt is very bad luck. We're driving across the country. The last thing we need is bad luck."

Josh placed the salt shaker in front of Martin so that he could help his friend. "Quick. Toss some salt over your right shoulder."

Martin, not knowing the real method was to toss salt over his left shoulder, picked up the salt shaker and tossed it over his right shoulder like he was told to do. A loud thump was heard after that.

"What the hell?" said an angry voice.

"Uh-oh," Josh said when he noticed who stood up. "Too little too late, Martin."

Just then, a burly man dressed in a purple shirt, dark green pants and orange armour plates covering various parts of his body stood up. His purple hair was straggly and he looked around with his enraged purple eyes to find whoever was foolish enough to throw something at him. This man was a trucker who went by the name Snipe.

"All right, who's the dead man that hit me with the salt shaker?" Snipe said angrily.

A murmur came up from the crowd. Martin looked up at Snipe with his heart beating a mile a minute and noticed that he was walking right up to him. He looked back at Josh for support but then saw Josh pointing at him to save himself from an unnecessary confrontation. Martin looked back at Snipe with fear in his eyes when he couldn't believe that his own friend sold him out, so now he would have to face up to the man alone.

Meanwhile, Josh looked out the window in nonchalance and hummed to himself to make sure that he had nothing to do with it, when in reality he technically told Martin to do what he did, but he still didn't want to take responsibility.

Snipe towered over Martin and looked at him like he was about to pound him into the floor. The rest of the crowd looked on and said and did nothing, also not wanting to get involved.

"Well, uh," Martin said to come up with the right words, "it was a terrible mistake, sir. Please, believe me. I would never do anything to offend a man of your size."

Snipe's trucker friends (the random Talons from Storm Hawks) all looked on and gave him some encouragement. "Kick his ass, Snipe!" said one of them.

Snipe thought of what to do and noticed the burger sitting in front of Martin. "You gonna eat that?" he said.

"What, that?" said Martin. He felt so nervous that he didn't know what to say next. "No… Yes… No. Well… no, it crossed my mind. Yeah."

Snipe heard enough, so he snorted really loud and hawked. Lowering his head, he took the bun off the top of Martin's burger and spit out a big lugey right on the patty.

Josh saw the whole thing and looked like he was going to vomit.

"Still want it?" said Snipe.

Martin took a second and knew that he would not want to eat something that another man spit on. "Nah, you go ahead."

Snipe had proven his dominance, so he willingly took Martin's platter and sat back down at his booth, leaving the poor man feeling emasculated.

A few moments passed. Martin and Josh sat at their both, with Josh enjoying the last of his fries while Martin did nothing. The previous incident was an unpleasant one and he would dare not speak of it again. But Josh, feeling good about himself since it didn't happen to him, decided to add insult to injury.

"You really wimped out, man," said Josh.

"What are you talking about 'wimped out'?" said Martin. "Well, did you… the guy hawked at my burger."

Josh leaned in close and said, "Hey, wait a second." A thought struck him about how he was going to make his friend feel better. "I think I just… Yeah, I just had an idea."

With his mind set, Josh stood up and began to walk away. He saw that Martin didn't follow so he walked back since he was a crucial part of his plan. "Follow me," he said.

The two walked up to the booth where Snipe and his buddies sat. Martin was feeling rather skeptical about the idea. If something went wrong then he was worried that the burly man would do something even worse than ruining his lunch, so he hoped that Josh would approach it carefully.

"Excuse me, guys?" Josh said to get the truckers' attention.

Snipe and his friends looked up and each of them had an expression that showed their dissatisfaction of the two talking to them. "What the hell do you want?" said Snipe.

Now that Josh got them in, he went forward with his plan. "Uh, I just want to apologize for that unpleasant scene a little earlier. My friend Martin and I would, uh, like to buy you guys a round of beers just to bury the hatchet."

Snipe figured that the idea of getting free beer was a pretty sweet deal, even if it came from two complete wimps. "Make it four boilermakers," he said.

"Whatever you want, sir," said Josh. "I'll have the waitress bring it over immediately." A feeling of pride washed over Josh when he had the truckers right where he wanted them.

So the two friends walked over to the counter. Josh had a smile on his face since he knew his plan was going to work, but Martin was now worried. They only had enough money for themselves, and the idea of buying beer for some other guys was going to make their journey to Aspen even more difficult.

"Josh, what are you doing?" whispered Martin. "We can't afford to buy them drinks."

But Josh would hear none of it so he did his best to shush Martin. They then approached the counter where another waitress named Kitt Wonn sat and read a book. She looked up when she saw that two people approached her.

"Um, excuse me," said Josh. "Snipe and the fellas offered to pick up our check. They said just put it on their tab." He then hunched his shoulders like he never expected them to do that. "They're very nice."

Kitt looked at Josh disbelievingly. She had seen Snipe come to the truck stop many times before and never known him to be so altruistic. "Snipe said that?" she said.

"Well, if that guy at the table over there is Snipe," said Josh.

To prove his point, he gestured over to the booth where Snipe sat and they saw him point a finger at himself while he and his buddies were expecting their drinks. Josh merely smiled at him, and now Martin smiled too when he finally figured out Josh's plan. It was the best way to get payback.

"All right," said Kitt, "if that's what he wants."

Martin then decided to add his own share by grabbing some newspapers and chocolate bars on the counter. "Put these on there too, okay?" he said.

"You got it," said Kitt, still thinking that Snipe was picking up the check.

A little while afterward, Josh and Martin left the truck stop and were headed down the road after their scam had worked. They had eaten for free and all they had to do was trick someone they thought they would never see again. Their van, while accelerating, let out a loud bang from the tailpipe.

Back at the truck stop, Snipe and his trucker friends rushed out to catch the two friends along with Mrs. Turner and Kitt after having been fooled, only to find them long gone.

Snipe was now seething with rage and he yelled, "I'm gonna kill those sons of bitches!" To him, anyone who tricks him into picking up their check and gets away with it would pay dearly.

Josh and Martin laughed out loud as they travelled down the road, thinking that the plan was perfect and they still couldn't believe they got away with it. The best part was that it hadn't cost them anything.

"That was genius, Josh, sheer genius!" said Martin as he drove. "I mean, where did you come up with a scam like that?"

"Saw it in a movie once," replied Josh.

"That was incredible! So what happened? So the guy tricks some sucker into picking up his tab, then gets away with it scot-free?"

"No, in the movie, they catch up to him a half-mile down the road and slit his throat." Josh then let out a chuckle when he remembered that one scene from the movie. "It was a good one!"

Martin shifted his eyes worriedly at his friend, hoping that the same scene from the movie wouldn't happen to them. But then he watched as Josh held his pelvis like he was in pain.

"Wow," said Josh and grunted. He felt a familiar sensation coming on and knew he probably should have done it before he executed his plan. "Martin?"

"What?"

"I know this isn't the best time, but when you get a chance to pull over…"

"Yeah?"

"I gotta pee."

Martin now understood his friend's predicament but knew that he was making good time. Plus, he wanted to put as much distance between him and Snipe as possible.

"What, are you crazy?" said Martin. "I'm not pulling over now."

"But I gotta go!" plead Josh. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Well, whiz in one of the empty beer bottles in the back." Martin then pointed with his thumb to the back of the van. "They're on the floor. Just get one of—"

Josh couldn't take it anymore: he unbuckled himself and walked into the caused him to accidentally knock into Martin while he searched for an empty beer bottle and forced him to swerve the van on the road.

"Jeez, Josh!" exclaimed Martin.

"Quit moving around!" said Josh.

Josh had gotten hold of one of the empty bottles, so he sat back down and unzipped his pants while he put the bottle close to the open fly.

Martin looked on and kept saying, "Watch the seat! Watch the seat!" The last thing he wanted was for his friend to miss in his van.

"Okay! All right!" Josh shouted.

Just then, a trickling sound was heard and Josh let out a sigh of relief when he was finally able to urinate. It wasn't long until he looked down and saw another problem about to occur.

"Uh-oh," said Josh.

"What? What's wrong?" said Martin.

"The bottle's almost full and I'm still going."

"So stop going."

"I can't stop once I've started. It stings." Josh reached out to his friend for support. "Quick! Get me another bottle."

"What?"

"Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Martin complied and reached for another empty bottle.

"Come on! Come on!" Josh said.

"Okay, okay, here!" said Martin and presented a new bottle.

Josh switched the bottles right before the first one overflowed. "Okay, okay," he said, and then gave the full bottle to his friend. "Hold that."

Martin took the bottle and said, "Jesus." Never did he ever think to hold on to another man's urine.

The van continued to speed down the road. Little did the two friends know that a yellow-skinned officer named Eddie was waiting behind a billboard. He noticed that a vehicle went right by him, so he held up his radar gun after taking a bite out of his donut and clocked the van's speed.

Back in the van, Josh gave another full bottle to Martin. "Hold that one," he said and requested another empty one. "Hurry, I'm pinching it."

By that time Martin held onto four full bottles between his fingers while he kept driving. "What are you, a camel?" he said to Josh, disgusted by how much urine was in him.

Josh merely sighed while he finally emptied all the urine out of his system and zipped up his pants.

It was then that the two heard a siren coming from behind them, so Martin looked into his rear-view mirror and saw an officer on a motorcycle driving up next to the van.

"Pull over!" said Eddie.

Martin rolled down the window, not even realizing that it was a bad idea to be holding on to beer bottles while he was driving. "Huh?"

"Pull over!" Eddie repeated.

Martin thought that the officer was referring to his clothes. "No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing."

"Yeah," added Josh and gave the officer a thumbs up. "Killer boots, man!"

"Pull your vehicle to the side of the road!" said Eddie.

This time Martin understood what the officer said, so he slowed down the van and parked it on the shoulder. Now the police officer was going to find out what made the boys speed the way they did and see if it was worth the attention of the law.

Eddie walked up to the van, then looked calmly at Martin and said, "License and registration, please."

Martin did as he was asked and presented his license and his ownership of the van. From the corner of his eye he saw Josh smiling at the officer, so he too smiled back to show that there was nothing wrong and everything was legit.

"You fellas were going a little fast back there, wouldn't you say?" said Eddie. It was time for him to employ his police training and see if the men were committing a serious offense. "You, uh…" He then made a gesture like he was drinking a bottle of liquor. "You fellas been doin' a bit of boozin', have ya? Suckin' back on Grandpa's old cough medicine?"

Martin thought that the officer was implying that he and Josh were drinking and driving, but even he wasn't dumb enough to do something like that. "No, oh no, sir," he said.

"No, no, no," added Josh.

Eddie's attention was focused on the van's floor. "Yeah, well, what's that?" he said, referring to the beer bottles, but not realizing they were full of Josh's urine.

There had to be a good explanation, but all Martin could say was, "That's nothing, sir."

"Yeah, nothing," said Josh.

But Eddie wasn't buying it. "Yeah, well, you aware that it's against the law to have an open alcohol container here in the State of Pennsylvania?" Now he was angry and demanded that Josh hand over the bottles. "Come on, give me that booze, you little rat's-nest-haircutted freak! Come on!"

Josh picked up one of the bottles and accidentally splashed some of its contents on to Martin, but soon wiped it off and gave the bottle to his friend, who then gave it over to the officer. Hopefully, Josh thought, the officer would see what it was and not have to arrest them.

Eddie took the bottle and then put his lips over it to see if it really was alcohol.

Martin saw this and knew that he and Josh would really be in trouble if the officer drank from the bottle "Sir, no, I-I—" warned Martin.

Josh joined in. "No, sir, don't. Don't drink—"

But Eddie would hear none of it. "You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew what was good for ya, buddy," he said.

Finally, Eddie took a swig from the bottle. A few seconds later, his face twitched as the urine travelled down his esophagus and its foul property stung his insides like they had been set on fire.

Both Josh and Martin gave worried glances at the officer and felt sorry for him as Eddie clutched his stomach and breathed heavily while he stared angrily at them.

"Tic Tac, sir?" Josh said in offering.

"Get the hell outta here!" said Eddie, not wanting to deal with the two anymore.

Not wanting to make the situation worse, Martin started the engine and drove the van away while Eddie kneeled over and coughed and retched to get the urine out of him.

It was mid-afternoon in Aspen. The home of the Stinsons—one of the most posh families in the State of Colorado—sat together in the living room. But all was not well for them as they had incurred a terrible tragedy: they had gotten word that the criminals who were trying to extort money from them had not received the briefcase as they had originally planned.

The one who was most troubled by the news was Korra, for it was her beloved who was at stake.

"How could they not have gotten the ransom?" said Korra. "It just doesn't make sense. I left the money exactly where they instructed me to."

In the living room Korra sat with her father, Tonraq, and her mother, Senna. They felt that Korra's husband had become a member of their family and so they were feeling distressed over the news as well.

"Oh, it makes perfect sense, Korra," said Senna as she walked in carrying a platter with two cups of tea. "We should've called the authorities the minute we heard that Mako was kidnapped."

Tonraq stood by the fireplace and had an opposing view to the situation. He knew that getting Mako back safe and sound was the most important thing, but he wasn't going to jeopardize that by going back on the kidnapper's demands.

"Now, Senna, we've been through this already," said Tonraq.

Just then the family's maid, a robot named Rosie, rolled in and addressed them. "Mr. Andore," she said.

(A/N: Again, another made-up last name for one of the characters.)

In walked a thirty-seven-year-old man who, like the Stinsons, had tanned-skin and blue eyes. His long brown hair was tied into three braids that hung down his back, and he was clothed in a light blue jacket over a dark blue shirt, blue pants and silver boots. This man was Tarrlok Andore, Tonraq's right-hand man and a friend of the Stinson family.

"Tarrlok," Tonraq greeted him.

"Tonraq," the man greeted back.

"Tarrlok," Senna said and accepted a kiss from him on the cheek.

Tarrlok shared the Stinsons' worry and he wanted so much to help them find Mako. He walked over to Tonraq and shook his hand. "Any word yet, sir?"

"No, nothing yet, Tarrlok," replied Tonraq.

The man was afraid to hear that, so he sighed, walked around his boss and then said, "I've been giving this a lot of thought. Maybe we should cancel the preservation benefit this weekend. It would be so easy to reschedule it."

"No, I don't think we should do anything out of the ordinary," said Senna.

"Yeah, she's right," Tonraq said in agreement. "It's imperative that we carry on as usual."

"Okay," said Tarrlok.

Tonraq's point became clear when he turned to his daughter and re-emphasized it. "Especially you, Korra."

Korra couldn't believe that her own father would say that to her instead of trying to help in getting her husband back.

"What am I supposed to do, just go about my life like everything's fine?" said Korra.

"That's exactly what you should do."

"Yes," added Senna, "go skiing, go to parties, act normally, you know."

Tonraq tried to make Korra see that everything would be fine as long as they played by the kidnappers' rules. "Yeah, don't you see, honey? We can't let on that anything's wrong. If the press or the authorities get wind of this, the kidnappers may panic."

It was then that Tarrlok added his own thoughts. He sat in front of the fireplace and took out a cigarette from his pack that he placed on his lips. There was a flick when he brought up his lighter to ignite the end and then he took a long drag. After exhaling some smoke, he looked at the girl and said, "I mean, you never know what they might do to him then."

Korra shuttered at the thought. All she wanted was to get the love of her life back, but she knew that her parents and her friend were right: trying to seek for help would make things worse. So, she figured that she would have to go along with their suggestions and hope for the best.

BlueTiger321: And there's another chapter done!

Korra: What? But I need to find Mako!

Josh: And I need to find Korra!

Martin: And I want this to be done with so I can get back to my life!

Josh: *sarcastically* Oh, thanks a lot.

BlueTiger321: Well folks, be sure to stay tuned when Josh will have his own dream when he sees Korra. So, until next time…

Josh, Martin and Korra: Read and review!