Authors Note- Okay you will all be glad to know that I am up to date on my review responses, so those reviews from 7 chapters, all responded too! I know the updates haven't been as frequent recently, I am going to be trying to get a chapter to two a day, I was just finishing up the responses, so now that they are all caught up on I should be able to update faster. Here is the update for today, I will probably post anoth chapter after my hockey practise tonight so look forward to that! Here you go-
I pull him closer to me I am not really sure why I am doing all this for him. Do I love him? Yeah. Can this work? God I hope so. But most importantly… Did he rip my son's heart and mine apart? Yes. For that, I don't know… its what keeps me from loving him completely It's what stops me from loving him with every fibre of my being. I feel lost without him, but at the same time I feel lost with him. He grips onto my shirt tighter, and I get the urge to push him away, I fight this, instead I just tense up at his touch. He pulls away from me slightly and looks at me. I can't help, but resent him at the moment. Maybe the only reason I am keeping him here with me is for my unborn baby. But do I really want another Richard in my life?
He sits up straight and looks at me, "what's wrong?" I shake my head, trying to act as though everything is fine. He doesn't buy it, god why would he. I probably have a look of hate and condemn on my face. "Abby…" He pushes, why can't he just leave me alone. I know this is weird, two hours ago I was kissing him and thanking the lord he was home, and now I want to scratch out his eyes, rip out his heart and kick him in the balls… personally I blame it on the pregnancy. Hormones. That's what it is, hormones. He doesn't know about the pregnancy though, so this will bring him no comfort what so ever, but right now I feel like ripping him a new asshole. That's harsh, I know. "Just-" I start unable to finish, he gestures with his hands for me to continue. "I just think you're an asshole." He looks puzzled, why wouldn't he? I was comforting him, now I'm angry with him. "What?"
"Look Carter, you come waltzing into our lives like nothing happened… Guess what something did happen."
"Abby- I didn't come waltzing in, I expected you to hate me. I expected you to slam the door in my face. You're the one who welcomed me with open arms."
"Oh- so now this is all on me?" I point toward myself, eyebrows crooked, my face stern. I mean business. "No." He says firmly, rising from the bed. "Its not on you- I am just saying, you opened your-"
"NO!" I scream standing up. "You slept with someone else and I let you in? What am I fucking crazy? Am I fucking nut job." I make my way over to the door of my bedroom. "You love me." He pauses; did he really just say that? In defence of himself, he says that I love him. "Yeah, I do." I push my hair out of my face, preparing for one hell of a battle. "So- we can work it out then. I don't expect you to take me back right away Abby!" He is getting angry. I don't care, that's not his right, right now. I am the angry one today baby. "Well you better not, because its not going to happen." He waves his arms in the air.
"What the hell do you two expect of me. YOU SHOULD BE MAD! YOU'D BE CRAZY IF YOU WEREN'T! BUT I AM AN ADDICT! A CLEAN ONE RIGHT NOW, just like you." He lowers his voice and looks at me with pleading eyes. "Be mad, but don't act like I did something wrong. Like going to rehab was wrong! Like trying to start fresh where no one knew my story wasn't my right." He sighs and then runs his fingers through his hair. "You're telling me, Abby, that if you had the chance to start over you wouldn't?" I can't argue with that, sometimes I just want to get away from everything here in Chicago. "I did…I got that chance." He says calmly.
"Why'd you leave it?" I ask slowly… "Why'd you leave the perfect life?"
"It wasn't prefect-"
"Why?" I push, I am really trying to milk this for all it is worth.
"You know why" He looks at me, our eyes lock. "If there is no reason, in your eyes, for me to be here I am just going to leave now." He turns towards the door, the knob turns, I don't know what to do. Do I want him to stay? If I tell him to stay I will just be giving in, and at a time like this I need to make sure its right. I need to make sure he loves me and I love him. He slowly walks towards the front door slipping on his shoes he opens the door, he gets one foot out and I decide it's the right time. "I'm pregnant," I say barely audible. For a moment he doesn't move, nothing does. Its like the world has become silent. We are frozen, frozen in time. Then suddenly he turns around and looks at me… His eyes seem hopeful, happy even. I take a deep breath and he starts to smile. I can't stand this. We are hurting each other over, over and over again, but why? We will only hurt our child if we keep going like this so I do the only thing I can think of… "It's Ted's." He looks enraged, like he might hurt me again. I can't do anything. I can't move a muscle. A small bitter laugh escapes his lips. I can barley hear it, but I know its there… I know he heard me. He shakes his head at me. "So you got mad at me and fucked him, you kissed another guy while we were dating and now you are pregnant with Ted's baby?" He scratches his forehead.
"That's not fair." I counter; he looks at me in utter disbelief. "I was kissed by that guy, I didn't like it, he forced himself on me. Don't attack me just because you are angry." I hiss, neither one of us is happy at the present time.
"I can't believe this." He continues to shake his head. I don't know what I just did, or why I did it. I say it to get back at him for all the pain he's causing me… "No its not." We both look behind Bryce is standing behind us. "Seriously guys grow up." He scoffs. "You do the worst things to get back at one another." He walks towards us, the dim light on his face… "I mean, you love each other, but you just end up ripping each other apart." He looks from me to Carter. "I hate what Carter did too mom, but he made a good point- he got a chance." He sighs. "Maybe you guys should grow as individuals before you
end up together." Are we really getting advice from a ten year old? "Learn to be friends first- cause I don't want Ernie to come into this world with a mom and dad who can't even get along." He pauses. "You love each other, you're meant to be together, but you got to let yourselves be together." Carter looks at me nodding. Bryce is right and we both know it. I don't know how he got so smart. I reach forward and hug my son. "Thanks baby." He smiles and walks off to bed.
"He's right you know." Carter says.
"I know. We should break up?" The words sting my throat. I love him more then anything. How can I let this happen?
"Yeah. Just for now though- till we learn to be our own person without each other. Recover you know?" He says, I can see he is choking out the words.
"Yeah," My foot plays along the outline of the carpet. We are actually making this decision mutually, and without screaming at each other. "So when we finally get together, and we will, it will be perfect." Carter smiles slightly.
"What we have now is hardly perfect." I laugh I look up and meet his gaze. Both our eyes clouded over with tears. "It will be awkward at work." I swallow I want all this pain to go away. "Yeah- but only if we let it be." Carter nods.
"Technically we aren't breaking up. I mean we never got back together, we are just taking a bit of time to our selves, to get perfect." I explain this to both of us.
"You're right, we will just you know take it slow, as in not together for a while slow. Can I still see you- you know-"
"For the baby?" I ask.
"And just to see you, and Bryce." He smiles.
"Yeah, we will all love that." I sigh and he smiles at me.
"Hey, no matter what- I love you Abigail Lock…"
"Wycenzki." I cut him off.
"Changed it for the baby." I explain he nods understanding.
"Love you." He smiles. "You know that though."
"Can never hear it enough though." I grin. He looks at me seriously, then reaches over and pulls me into a hug. I respond by nestling my head into the crook in his shoulder. We stay like this for a few moments. "I've got to go." He says pulling away.
"Oh and John?" He stops and turns to me. "I may need a favour from you every once in a while, for the baby." He looks confused. "Casual sex, John." He starts to blush. "We did it once, but it was good so I want it again when I get into the horny stages."
"Which is???" He looks excited.
"Well now. But not this minute, but it will be soon." He bites his bottom lip and smiles; "I can do that for you." He turns and leaves, the easiest, non-break up, break up I've ever had to do.
***REVIEW RESPONSES***
Tilde8884- I think Bryce acted the way I would have. Carter left and Bryce likes to hold grudges lol. There was totally chemistry, not Kemistry, but chemistry lol, between Carter and Abby, there was not Kemistry :P
Mandi- I'm glad you enjoy the story so much! Yes I am glad so many people agree that there was some Chemistry (NO KEMISTRY) In the last episode:)
hyperpiper91- haha yes Ernie is a hermaphrodite... right now at least lol Ernie is a girl/boy eventually. lol I'm glad ernie is good.... I hope he is not eating too much, making Abby fatter and more tired?
carbylobsterandavrilfan- booooooooo Kem... If she was with Pratt or someone else I wouldn't mind her.
CamilaC - I don't forgive Carter... Yet! I think he and Abby need to get back together in the show and quick like right now would be nice!
Vicki- Exam's suck. A LOT!
Amanda- Carter and Bryce just need to talk a bit more. Or maybe even time.
Caitlin015- Thank yah for the review :D
MrsWyle- Nope We LOVE hearing how great our fic is :) so thank you. I'd say you're right Carter loves Bryce even though he left, he still loved him more then anything in the world, and I think Bryce will realise that. You're right at least he was there for Bryce emotionally even if he wasnt physically.
Ashley- Thanks! Nope not ending it yet.
Kaitlin- I like Sam and Luka together too! I kinda like Alex too, I mean he is kinda weird, but he did grow up in hospitals basically, so being interested in hospital stuff is just a normal thing... I think.
Kaitlin- Thank yah, we were on an updating roll and then I kinda stopped lol.
LumiKat1540 - Hey thanks for reviewing! I have read some of your stuff, it is awesome, I really like your work! Me too, Bryce rocks, good for him for knocking Carter down! I like Ashton too. Ashton Kutcher... YUMMY!!!!
Amanda- Thats good, we don't want you to know how we end the story!
JanBry- Don't worry I will try and post at least once a day.
Kaitlin- I would totally name my kid after an actor... a hot one haha.
Kaitlin- I knew you were psychic!!!! We love loooooong reviews... Haha I would kicked him and then told Kem all about his kinky sex fantasies and all the bad things he's done.
Tilde8884- hehe noah hehe.... That would be interesting to say the least if she named her son Noah!
Tilde8884- hehe nothing is ever easy in our fic. That would be impossible.
smilez4va- haha I want some bacardi!!! I dont know if anyone has tried posting a story in a review that would definetly be amusing though!
Mickey- I feel that way about the show, they make Carter out to be perfect and Abby imperfect, and then bring Carter in this beautiful perfect women to have his baby... BLAH! Not freaking real, I love the way they dropped his addiction just like that... Boom its gone... BLAH!
Kaitlin- Well as long as the couple is in love and want the baby... I dont think the baby can fix them though, they have to do that for themselves, sometimes htey are just too freaking stubborn though:)!
CamilaC- I think Kem and Carter are too in love, like they don't see each other for who they really are. Like Kem doesn't really see how he paraded her around the hospital announcing the first minute they got there that she was pregnant, not really considering htat she may want to wait a minute and get to know these people first. I didn't like the way Kem said to luka 'your the reason we got together' right in front of Abby, I blmae this on Carter though because he didn't tell Kem ANYTHING about Abby, and if I were Kem, I would want to know about the man I'm havings babies Exs (haha make any sense?) and most importantly the most recent ones. Carter loves abby and did for 3 years, him not telling Kem about her just leads me to believe its because he is trying to cover something up... He is seeing Kem as perfect, and better then Abby, he doesn't really love Kem though he loves that she is not Abby, he does not want to love Abby even though he does :)
CARBYforever- Bryce is Carters son, although Bryce is kinda pissed at Carter right now, with good reason!
Amanda- I want the guy from season 8 to come back on the show hehe I love him.
CamilaC- yeah chapter 67 was screwed up for a while, I accidently uploaded chapter 66 and 67 as the same chapter.
maura fan- haha no! lol no luby in this fic, although they had some wicked awesome chemistry!
hyperpiper91- hey dude, sacred Ernie huh? hehe, hmmm! lol
cate- Glad you like the story, Annette isn't gone for good though, I will tell you that much!
MrsWyle- Don't curl up and die, we will make it better
***PREVIEW***
We are finally not working on the same day. We need to figure some things out without Bryce in the house, I hate yelling around him. That's probably a reason he hates me, is we always end up yelling at each other like three year olds bickering over a broken toy and shifting blame.
I pull him closer to me I am not really sure why I am doing all this for him. Do I love him? Yeah. Can this work? God I hope so. But most importantly… Did he rip my son's heart and mine apart? Yes. For that, I don't know… its what keeps me from loving him completely It's what stops me from loving him with every fibre of my being. I feel lost without him, but at the same time I feel lost with him. He grips onto my shirt tighter, and I get the urge to push him away, I fight this, instead I just tense up at his touch. He pulls away from me slightly and looks at me. I can't help, but resent him at the moment. Maybe the only reason I am keeping him here with me is for my unborn baby. But do I really want another Richard in my life?
He sits up straight and looks at me, "what's wrong?" I shake my head, trying to act as though everything is fine. He doesn't buy it, god why would he. I probably have a look of hate and condemn on my face. "Abby…" He pushes, why can't he just leave me alone. I know this is weird, two hours ago I was kissing him and thanking the lord he was home, and now I want to scratch out his eyes, rip out his heart and kick him in the balls… personally I blame it on the pregnancy. Hormones. That's what it is, hormones. He doesn't know about the pregnancy though, so this will bring him no comfort what so ever, but right now I feel like ripping him a new asshole. That's harsh, I know. "Just-" I start unable to finish, he gestures with his hands for me to continue. "I just think you're an asshole." He looks puzzled, why wouldn't he? I was comforting him, now I'm angry with him. "What?"
"Look Carter, you come waltzing into our lives like nothing happened… Guess what something did happen."
"Abby- I didn't come waltzing in, I expected you to hate me. I expected you to slam the door in my face. You're the one who welcomed me with open arms."
"Oh- so now this is all on me?" I point toward myself, eyebrows crooked, my face stern. I mean business. "No." He says firmly, rising from the bed. "Its not on you- I am just saying, you opened your-"
"NO!" I scream standing up. "You slept with someone else and I let you in? What am I fucking crazy? Am I fucking nut job." I make my way over to the door of my bedroom. "You love me." He pauses; did he really just say that? In defence of himself, he says that I love him. "Yeah, I do." I push my hair out of my face, preparing for one hell of a battle. "So- we can work it out then. I don't expect you to take me back right away Abby!" He is getting angry. I don't care, that's not his right, right now. I am the angry one today baby. "Well you better not, because its not going to happen." He waves his arms in the air.
"What the hell do you two expect of me. YOU SHOULD BE MAD! YOU'D BE CRAZY IF YOU WEREN'T! BUT I AM AN ADDICT! A CLEAN ONE RIGHT NOW, just like you." He lowers his voice and looks at me with pleading eyes. "Be mad, but don't act like I did something wrong. Like going to rehab was wrong! Like trying to start fresh where no one knew my story wasn't my right." He sighs and then runs his fingers through his hair. "You're telling me, Abby, that if you had the chance to start over you wouldn't?" I can't argue with that, sometimes I just want to get away from everything here in Chicago. "I did…I got that chance." He says calmly.
"Why'd you leave it?" I ask slowly… "Why'd you leave the perfect life?"
"It wasn't prefect-"
"Why?" I push, I am really trying to milk this for all it is worth.
"You know why" He looks at me, our eyes lock. "If there is no reason, in your eyes, for me to be here I am just going to leave now." He turns towards the door, the knob turns, I don't know what to do. Do I want him to stay? If I tell him to stay I will just be giving in, and at a time like this I need to make sure its right. I need to make sure he loves me and I love him. He slowly walks towards the front door slipping on his shoes he opens the door, he gets one foot out and I decide it's the right time. "I'm pregnant," I say barely audible. For a moment he doesn't move, nothing does. Its like the world has become silent. We are frozen, frozen in time. Then suddenly he turns around and looks at me… His eyes seem hopeful, happy even. I take a deep breath and he starts to smile. I can't stand this. We are hurting each other over, over and over again, but why? We will only hurt our child if we keep going like this so I do the only thing I can think of… "It's Ted's." He looks enraged, like he might hurt me again. I can't do anything. I can't move a muscle. A small bitter laugh escapes his lips. I can barley hear it, but I know its there… I know he heard me. He shakes his head at me. "So you got mad at me and fucked him, you kissed another guy while we were dating and now you are pregnant with Ted's baby?" He scratches his forehead.
"That's not fair." I counter; he looks at me in utter disbelief. "I was kissed by that guy, I didn't like it, he forced himself on me. Don't attack me just because you are angry." I hiss, neither one of us is happy at the present time.
"I can't believe this." He continues to shake his head. I don't know what I just did, or why I did it. I say it to get back at him for all the pain he's causing me… "No its not." We both look behind Bryce is standing behind us. "Seriously guys grow up." He scoffs. "You do the worst things to get back at one another." He walks towards us, the dim light on his face… "I mean, you love each other, but you just end up ripping each other apart." He looks from me to Carter. "I hate what Carter did too mom, but he made a good point- he got a chance." He sighs. "Maybe you guys should grow as individuals before you
end up together." Are we really getting advice from a ten year old? "Learn to be friends first- cause I don't want Ernie to come into this world with a mom and dad who can't even get along." He pauses. "You love each other, you're meant to be together, but you got to let yourselves be together." Carter looks at me nodding. Bryce is right and we both know it. I don't know how he got so smart. I reach forward and hug my son. "Thanks baby." He smiles and walks off to bed.
"He's right you know." Carter says.
"I know. We should break up?" The words sting my throat. I love him more then anything. How can I let this happen?
"Yeah. Just for now though- till we learn to be our own person without each other. Recover you know?" He says, I can see he is choking out the words.
"Yeah," My foot plays along the outline of the carpet. We are actually making this decision mutually, and without screaming at each other. "So when we finally get together, and we will, it will be perfect." Carter smiles slightly.
"What we have now is hardly perfect." I laugh I look up and meet his gaze. Both our eyes clouded over with tears. "It will be awkward at work." I swallow I want all this pain to go away. "Yeah- but only if we let it be." Carter nods.
"Technically we aren't breaking up. I mean we never got back together, we are just taking a bit of time to our selves, to get perfect." I explain this to both of us.
"You're right, we will just you know take it slow, as in not together for a while slow. Can I still see you- you know-"
"For the baby?" I ask.
"And just to see you, and Bryce." He smiles.
"Yeah, we will all love that." I sigh and he smiles at me.
"Hey, no matter what- I love you Abigail Lock…"
"Wycenzki." I cut him off.
"Changed it for the baby." I explain he nods understanding.
"Love you." He smiles. "You know that though."
"Can never hear it enough though." I grin. He looks at me seriously, then reaches over and pulls me into a hug. I respond by nestling my head into the crook in his shoulder. We stay like this for a few moments. "I've got to go." He says pulling away.
"Oh and John?" He stops and turns to me. "I may need a favour from you every once in a while, for the baby." He looks confused. "Casual sex, John." He starts to blush. "We did it once, but it was good so I want it again when I get into the horny stages."
"Which is???" He looks excited.
"Well now. But not this minute, but it will be soon." He bites his bottom lip and smiles; "I can do that for you." He turns and leaves, the easiest, non-break up, break up I've ever had to do.
***REVIEW RESPONSES***
Tilde8884- I think Bryce acted the way I would have. Carter left and Bryce likes to hold grudges lol. There was totally chemistry, not Kemistry, but chemistry lol, between Carter and Abby, there was not Kemistry :P
Mandi- I'm glad you enjoy the story so much! Yes I am glad so many people agree that there was some Chemistry (NO KEMISTRY) In the last episode:)
hyperpiper91- haha yes Ernie is a hermaphrodite... right now at least lol Ernie is a girl/boy eventually. lol I'm glad ernie is good.... I hope he is not eating too much, making Abby fatter and more tired?
carbylobsterandavrilfan- booooooooo Kem... If she was with Pratt or someone else I wouldn't mind her.
CamilaC - I don't forgive Carter... Yet! I think he and Abby need to get back together in the show and quick like right now would be nice!
Vicki- Exam's suck. A LOT!
Amanda- Carter and Bryce just need to talk a bit more. Or maybe even time.
Caitlin015- Thank yah for the review :D
MrsWyle- Nope We LOVE hearing how great our fic is :) so thank you. I'd say you're right Carter loves Bryce even though he left, he still loved him more then anything in the world, and I think Bryce will realise that. You're right at least he was there for Bryce emotionally even if he wasnt physically.
Ashley- Thanks! Nope not ending it yet.
Kaitlin- I like Sam and Luka together too! I kinda like Alex too, I mean he is kinda weird, but he did grow up in hospitals basically, so being interested in hospital stuff is just a normal thing... I think.
Kaitlin- Thank yah, we were on an updating roll and then I kinda stopped lol.
LumiKat1540 - Hey thanks for reviewing! I have read some of your stuff, it is awesome, I really like your work! Me too, Bryce rocks, good for him for knocking Carter down! I like Ashton too. Ashton Kutcher... YUMMY!!!!
Amanda- Thats good, we don't want you to know how we end the story!
JanBry- Don't worry I will try and post at least once a day.
Kaitlin- I would totally name my kid after an actor... a hot one haha.
Kaitlin- I knew you were psychic!!!! We love loooooong reviews... Haha I would kicked him and then told Kem all about his kinky sex fantasies and all the bad things he's done.
Tilde8884- hehe noah hehe.... That would be interesting to say the least if she named her son Noah!
Tilde8884- hehe nothing is ever easy in our fic. That would be impossible.
smilez4va- haha I want some bacardi!!! I dont know if anyone has tried posting a story in a review that would definetly be amusing though!
Mickey- I feel that way about the show, they make Carter out to be perfect and Abby imperfect, and then bring Carter in this beautiful perfect women to have his baby... BLAH! Not freaking real, I love the way they dropped his addiction just like that... Boom its gone... BLAH!
Kaitlin- Well as long as the couple is in love and want the baby... I dont think the baby can fix them though, they have to do that for themselves, sometimes htey are just too freaking stubborn though:)!
CamilaC- I think Kem and Carter are too in love, like they don't see each other for who they really are. Like Kem doesn't really see how he paraded her around the hospital announcing the first minute they got there that she was pregnant, not really considering htat she may want to wait a minute and get to know these people first. I didn't like the way Kem said to luka 'your the reason we got together' right in front of Abby, I blmae this on Carter though because he didn't tell Kem ANYTHING about Abby, and if I were Kem, I would want to know about the man I'm havings babies Exs (haha make any sense?) and most importantly the most recent ones. Carter loves abby and did for 3 years, him not telling Kem about her just leads me to believe its because he is trying to cover something up... He is seeing Kem as perfect, and better then Abby, he doesn't really love Kem though he loves that she is not Abby, he does not want to love Abby even though he does :)
CARBYforever- Bryce is Carters son, although Bryce is kinda pissed at Carter right now, with good reason!
Amanda- I want the guy from season 8 to come back on the show hehe I love him.
CamilaC- yeah chapter 67 was screwed up for a while, I accidently uploaded chapter 66 and 67 as the same chapter.
maura fan- haha no! lol no luby in this fic, although they had some wicked awesome chemistry!
hyperpiper91- hey dude, sacred Ernie huh? hehe, hmmm! lol
cate- Glad you like the story, Annette isn't gone for good though, I will tell you that much!
MrsWyle- Don't curl up and die, we will make it better
***PREVIEW***
We are finally not working on the same day. We need to figure some things out without Bryce in the house, I hate yelling around him. That's probably a reason he hates me, is we always end up yelling at each other like three year olds bickering over a broken toy and shifting blame.