Chapter 4

"Ikumoto," greeted Commander Captain Sensei-Senpai-Sama-San-Kun,"We need to talk."

"Hey," said Ikumoto, noticing the bulge in his pants, "Do you have a banana down there or are you happy to see me?"

"A banana," he pulled out a banana from his trousers,"Putting fruit in your underwear keeps it fresh." When he saw the puzzled expression on her face, he sighed. "Anyway," he continued, returning the fruit to where it once was, "How would you like to join the Lewd and Offensive League of Ingenouses, or, L.O.L.I. for short?" he popped the question like a new bottle of viagra.

"But why me?" Ikumoto questioned.

"Because, you took that raping last night like a man."

"But I'm a girl."

"Exactly."

So, it was with these words that Ikumoto was inducted into the L.O.L.I. Army.

"Sir," Ikumoto huffed while she was training,"How is your Rock Lee?"

"Fine," he grumbled,"But please use its other name. Its called Dill Dickinsion now." Dill Dickinson squirmed in approval. "You'll have to meet the main leader of the L.O.L.I. Army. Oh, there she goes now."

Her hair flowed in thick tendrils down her back, reflecting the sunlight in such a way that it shimmered softly. Her strut bore grim determation and kawaii-ness only a moe could achieve.

"Armin!" Ikumoto cried,"Is that you?"

"Well, yes, fair lass!" Armin stood before her in all of his feminine glory. "Is tho thy new commrade? If that is the case, ye need this." He pulled out a pistol.

Ikumoto concurred: "I don't know how to shoot one.."

"Ignoramus! Digress, for shooting it shan't!" He pushed her to the floor and stuck it where the sun shone, but only on Tuesday's."Tis the latest in thy Anti-Rape defenses. Any friend or foe that dares enter, shall get a forts-night of pain."

C.C.S.S.S.S.K. grabbed his Dickinson. "Don't say such things around him! I just got out of surgery!" He ran away crying.

"I must be going. We are planning a raid tomorrow. Blood shall be spilt! And our army will reign victorious! Oh, and since I heard you didn't watch anime-" he tossed her a DVD case,"-Here's one to get you started." He left Ikumoto with all three episodes of Boku No Pico.

All 200 L.O.L.I. Operatives were present in the briefing room. "Moku-chan has brought to our attention," started the pimp doctor,"That Shrek may indeed try to aquire a weapon far more powerful then the one we previously stole, the Orgasm Ray." He turned on a powerpoint presentation, which showed the gun. "Now, this weapon, holds the secret to our victory or our demise. But its location is currently unknown.

"We must steal...Akeno's pantsu!" The room gasped in suprise.

"Yep. General Armin has put me in charge of assembling a five-man cell. In it are... Mikasa; acting as captain-" Mikasa sniffed her scarf and muttered something about smelling Eren, "-Hinata; acting as the scared chick who will probably do nothing-" Hinata blushed about Naruto, "-Shiro; acting as the brains, Sandy Buttcheeks; acting as the furry-" Sandy complained about not going home to Texas, "-and, her very first mission, Ikumoto; acting as Big Boobs Brunete!"

Everyone clapped.

"The squad will move out tomorrow. Meeting dismissed!"

Ikumoto's butt hurt, so she got some ice. Noble-Senpai walked up to her.

"Well hey there, beybeh," he said, "Are you a catgirl, because I will let you play with my balls of yarn. Just remove the yarn."

"Die a horrible and painful death," commanded Ikumoto.

"That's cool, that's cool," he said, "Good luck on your mission then, whore." He left, crying horribly.

Ikumoto slept the night away, dreaming of tomorrow, Itachi, and tentacles.