Day Twelve

The day of Simon's first visit to the hospital. He had assured his dad that he wanted to come, but when they arrived at reception Peter could see his apprehension; he hung back as his dad went to sign them in, needing gentle coaxing as they approached the ward.

"Come on Si, it's really not as scary here as you think it will be. It means a lot to Carla that you want to see her you know."

Simon needed no more encouragement than this, and Peter watched as he straightened his posture, determined not to let on his fears as they headed through the security doors.

Carla was in the lounge area with her back to them, playing cards with another patient. Peter was thrilled with the progress she was making and felt bad disturbing her, she had come on so much in the last couple of days it had taken him by surprise. He had begun to see his Carla, the woman he was worried he had lost forever, re-emerge from the prison her mind had trapped her in. The first time they had sat and just chatted about life back home felt like such a massive step. The saga of Sally's horse had made her smile, and she seemed interested in the gossip Peter relayed from Ken's updates, although she avoided talking about her family or the factory, and Peter was careful not to push her. This was why he had decided it was time for Simon to visit, he really thought she could cope with it and when he'd asked her she had seemed keen, if a little nervous.

A loud scream from a room behind them made both Peter and Simon jump, a stark reminder of where they were and what others were going through. Peter noticed Simon edge closer to him as he turned to see where it originated, and saw various staff rushing to one of the doors at the far end of the ward. The noise had also disturbed Carla, and as he looked back over she was making her way to them, greeting Peter first before turning shyly to his son, both looking at the other unsure how to proceed. It was Simon who broke the tension, stepping forward to hug his stepmom, telling her how glad he was to see her. Peter saw tears well in Carla's eyes at this gesture, it clearly meant a huge deal to her, and she visibly relaxed as they all sat on the nearby sofa; she asked Simon about school and how he was finding life in Carlisle, laughing and joining in as he teased his dad about his snoring. He told her his plans for the afternoon; there was a music event in the town that he was looking forward to, the reason he couldn't visit for long. All too soon it was time for Simon to leave, Carla's disappointment evident as she thanked him for coming and he promised to visit again soon. As he walked Simon back out of the building, Peter asked him if he was glad he'd come.

"I don't know dad. She seems mostly OK. It's just strange seeing her in there like that. I just want her better so she can come home, I'm glad she's got you to help her."

Peter's heart swelled as he ruffled his son's hair affectionately.

"And I'm glad I've got you. Now be off with you, else you'll miss your bus."

Carla was waiting for him as he got back to the ward, a broad smile greeting him as she told him that the nurse on duty had agreed that they could go for a walk in the hospital grounds and make the most of the sunshine. It was easily the happiest he had seen her since the accident, and he couldn't help but share in her excitement. As they reached the door to the gardens a nurse was advising Peter on when they needed to be back but was struggling to concentrate; Carla was practically dragging him forward, impatient to get away. She linked her arm through his as they headed down the path away from the main building, leaning into him as she led him towards a secluded area away from the pavement and into an area of thick shrubbery. He began to panic that this might be a sign of her paranoia, that she was trying to escape some invisible enemy, when she spun around and kissed him passionately, eyes closed, hands caressing his hair, pulling him towards her. His initial shock was replaced by exhilaration, he wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss, their tongues intertwining, both completely caught up in the moment, neither wanting it to end. A sound in the bushes nearby brought them crashing back to earth, and they pulled apart just as a groundsman came into view. Noticing them he shouted for them to stay off the grass, pointing to the nearby sign to make his point clearer. Carla collapsed into giggles as they hurried back to the path, and Peter couldn't stop himself from joining in, struggling to compose himself as he tried to speak.

"I feel like a school kid caught smoking by a teacher or something."

Carla smiled up at him, a twinkle in her eye.

"Well at least I know I've still got it Barlow, even if I am crazy."

She moved forward and kissed his cheek before walking away down the path. Peter stood for a few seconds, watching her, before jogging to catch up, wrapping his arm around her as they continued their walk. They were both silent for a while, Carla clearly relishing the freedom of being outside, both enjoying the others company, before Carla stopped and turned to him, suddenly serious.

""Can I ask you something, will you be honest with me?"

He nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"Was I OK with Simon today? I didn't scare him, did I?"

Back to reality with a bump. He shook his head.

"No of course not, he was just glad to see you. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know, it's just I have been thinking about some of the other patients on the ward, the way they act sometimes, it made me realise that if I'm the same then maybe I don't know how ill I am, not really. I have these flashbacks sometimes, and I don't know if they actually happened or not, but it scares me that I might not know what is real and what isn't anymore, does that make sense?"

He nodded. He could see the self-doubt now in her eyes, he couldn't imagine how she must be feeling, unable to trust what her mind was telling her.

"Being totally honest, you were in a bad way for a while, and it was scary for me and your family. But you are improving every day, the medication is doing its job now and from how you've been today, nobody would know what you had been through."

She smiled at him.

"Thank you for telling me the truth, and for not giving up on me. Come on, we're gonna be late back if we don't hurry, don't you be getting me into trouble."

She grabbed his hand and they started their route back to the hospital entrance, the conversation, and Carla's brief escape from the reality she was facing, evidently over.