Ok guise, it's the weekend and guess what? Friday night, I have two hours of badminton. Saturday, I have three hours of consecutive netball matches. Sunday, I have 6 hours (not exaggerating – 10-4PM is SIX FUCKING HOURS) of orchestra rehearsal for a big performance at the big city Casino. It sucks because I was looking forward to days of writing, but I guess this is life getting back at me for having an undisturbed four day weekend last time.

Remember, when God gives you lemons, find a new God. (Apologies to any avid Christians).

Bella POV

Being a newborn which normally would have been the most incredible thing in my entire existence was paled, clouded and all-round dulled by the deaths of our family.

Jasper broodingly taught me to hunt. While he had gotten over our losses, he was still understandably sad. I tried to keep both of us cheerful for the sake of their memories – we being the only ones left meant we had to stick together like hell. Even though I felt guilty for Alice and Edward for discovering such a meaningful bond with Jasper, I wanted us to stay together and safe. If anything happened to Jasper, knowing that he was at a nicer place would not be enough to console me and I inevitably would attempt to take my life.

Jasper glanced at me with what was almost concern for my mood swing, but he couldn't quite muster it. He wasn't ready to be himself again and if truth be told, I was weighed down too.

It's like having a heavy cotton sheet draped over you. There's that little bit of extra weight on your whole body as you move. Losses like this physically affected us, and his being an empath didn't help. I was thoroughly glad that I could block him, because otherwise I'd be a wreck too.

My first hunt was a success in more ways than one.

Jasper grew small glints in his eyes when he was teaching me how to have my stance. I guess it awoke the war-loving side of his personality because he was more alive than he had been ever since he spilled his guts to me about saving me and not Alice...

I still can't believe he did, but I am happy. Is it wrong to be happy that Alice died in my place? I can halfway justify it; she had lived much longer than me, but I felt like a terrible monster when I thought about how I had not only stolen Alice's mate, but her right to live. Sadness overwhelmed me whenever I imagined myself with Edward in Heaven or Hell or limbo... wherever it is we go... and Alice with Jasper alive and grieving, but together.

They never could be now, and I doubted that Jasper and I would ever get into enough trouble to die. We had always been the sensible ones. That thought drove a barb of anguish through my side and I wrenched my mind away from that track to think on. Thinking desperately of never having Emmett bear-hug me, never having Rosalie flick her hair in annoyance... never having Esme fold herself around me with that motherly smell... never having Carlisle poke and prod me as a newborn, trying to figure me out.

Never again would I see my family.

Stop it, brain, stop it! Thinking about them will not bring them back, but it will make you sad!



'Maybe you will get some closure? You know, get over them by remembering them in peace?' Muttered a little voice in my head.

Great. Now I'm certifiably insane. I hear voices in my head. Just like Ed- NO! How did I get back here? Think about something else; think about something else... my first hunt. Yes, that!

We had jogged around in the bush together, holding hands as we flew between the trees and leaped over logs. Running would never get boring; I was shocked at how I didn't trip over molecules and I used that ability to every advantage. If we needed something? I would sprint around until I had found, collected and organised everything to do with it that we could ever possibly need. I was like a bird, hoarding all the junk that caught my eye.

Anyway, we had spotted a family of bears, and it was surprisingly easy to refrain from slaughtering them instantly, but Jasper still needed to wrap one arm around my neck (from his height, my neck was level with his ribcage, so it wasn't too difficult for him. Seriously, Jasper is insanely tall!) and one around my torso... that is, my whole torso... top and bottom, if you get what I mean.

Suffice to say, that was enough to distract me.

He showed me how to crouch properly, low on my haunches with my palms down. You keep your whole hand down but press your weight onto your fingers slightly and it gives you bounce and direction if you want to pounce forward and fast. I tested my balance in that position, and I was shocked to feel electricity in my limbs; like a sudden, extreme urge to leap forwards and hit something. It was fantastic! I felt coiled and ready to spring, and he could tell.

He placed one hand on the small of my back to steady me, and the other pushed lightly on my shoulder to make me go lower.

"The lower you are, the more power you get into a straight, quick leap. If you're against real enemies like werewolves or other vampires, it's better to stay on the verge of a crouch all the time, but crouch upright so you are ready to run at a moment's notice," he murmured into my ear. His voice and words blended together impeccably, and the bears noticed nothing. He had a heavenly voice, and as he spoke, his breath blew lightly into my nostrils. They dilated on their own, the traitors, and he smiled softly as his sweet, gentle aroma swam in my brain.

I made myself focus and dropped down again, feeling the familiar rush of energy to my body.

I was just itching to leap forwards and the electricity was getting hotter and burned my muscles. I gritted my teeth against the urge to crush the bears and waited for his next instruction.

He grinned and gestured for me to go.

I didn't even realise I had moved at all. I was just about to consciously decide to leap when I was flying through the air towards the father bear, arms outstretched as claws and eyes wild. I bared my teeth automatically as I rammed into the bear.

He didn't stand a chance. I crushed most of his bones on impact and he bellowed in rage an agony as he keeled over. I felt a pang of regret behind my eyes, and the red in my vision swam slightly.



Then a breeze knocked its blood's aroma near me. That was all I needed. I fastened my hands frantically around the bear's neck and yanked it out. The bear died instantly, but it had been in pain for a few seconds, and that's a few seconds too long for me. It's bad enough that I have to kill it, but to hurt it so badly first really is monstrous.

Those thoughts came after. What came first was me stretching my jaw and swooping in to gouge away the useless, and tense, muscles of the neck before I hit the main vein through there. I let out a small moan as the warm, sticky, and sugary liquid stuck to my throat and slogged down slowly.

I jumped up, swallowing rapidly, trying to clear my throat of the sticky mess. I ended up having to hack a bit and spit it up before I could breathe properly again. Jasper emerged from the trees, laughing.

"It's all the honey they eat," he explained, smiling softy. I noticed despite myself that he didn't wear a teasing smirk like Ed- um; He would have, but instead had a soft, indulging smile gracing his angel's face. "It makes their blood run thick and very sweet."

"Are all animals' blood affected by their eating habits?" I had the sudden image of anteater blood and shuddered. Ant flavoured blood? I'll pass thanks. Compliments to the chef.

"Yes," he said with a wry grin. "You wait till you try mountain lion. It eats so many different small animals all the time that its blood it completely unique and every one tastes slightly different. Depends how long ago it ate and what it was... there are many factors."

My heart constricted slightly in my chest and I winced, automatically reaching to press down on where my heart should be, but Jasper understood.

"I mentioned mountain lion... it was his favourite. I remember now... sorry," he got quieter and quieter until the end, when he seemed back to his depressed self.

Compulsively and a little idiotically, I ran forwards to hug him. As surprising as said hug was Jasper's reaction. He pushed me away, only to grab my shoulders and swoop in for a kiss.

His icy stone lips no longer felt cold, but vaguely warm and soft. The kiss was a gentle one, but a sad and also happy one. It was forgiving, celebrating, ecstatic and mournful... all those emotions jammed into one surprisingly soft kiss.

Such is the nature of an empath.

It wasn't a passionate, jelly-knees type kiss, but it didn't have to be. He pulled away, smiling again, and took my hand carefully and we walked amiably off to who knows where.

Hey hey hey! I really got into this chapter and I'm glad it ended up longer than the one page failure I usually provide you guys with :D