Disclaimer: I do not own anything Criminal Minds related. Characters are merely borrowed and will be put back later. ;)

Fair and Foul

Chapter Four-Moments

"Other things may change us- but we start and end with family."

Anthony Brandt

He had been sitting next to her, cramped in that seat, for almost five hours and dawn was just approaching. After sleeping for four of those hours, his neck was sore and his eyes were tired- not to mention the fact that he had done nothing to help heal the damage to his side. The more he thought about, he realised that the doctors had stitched the burnt cut, which he had gotten somewhere inside that house of horrors.

That house. He was still trying to work out exactly how they had gotten the profile so wrong. And in typical Hotchner style, he was sure that it was he who had missed something and made a mistake, though privately he knew that this was untrue. He knew in fact that nobody had made a mistake. The unsub having a bomb didn't fit the profile at all. He had been trying not to think about it. Nathan White was dead now, there was no more of that case to see- but it irked him that White had tricked them into a profile he didn't fit 100 per cent.

He sighed and turned to look at Prentiss again. The doctors had been pretty clear. She was bruised, shaken up and had suffered concussion. The surgery she had had was invasive and she would need weekss to fully convalesce, although she was doing very well given the circumstances. She had some small burns, all superficial and cosmetically damaging only- but the mental scars of the fire and explosion would stay with her for years to come. They had recommended counselling, and normally Hotch would have agreed- but he knew her too well to think that she would give in to that. Counselling was a concession to human frailty- and Emily Prentiss was not exactly what he would term "frail".

He could see that her hand was bruised and burned- not severely, but nonetheless unpleasant- and he reached out to touch it before he had thought it through. Holding her hand between both of his he stroked her fingers lightly and tried not to lose control. There was still a niggling doubt in his head as to whether he had done the right thing.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm sorry I didn't find you first..."

Though he would never say that she was worth more to him than Morgan was, he knew that at that moment, she had needed him more- and he wasn't there.

"Stop pitying yourself."

The words snapped him back to reality and he spun, looking at her sharply as she met his eyes in defiance. "I'm serious Hotch. It's not worth it. We're all fine and I know you did the right thing. Stop pitying and doubting yourself, it's useless."

He said nothing, but simply turned back to look at her injured hand, still lightly stroking her fingers. She surprised him by grasping his hand with her own and sighing softly.

"Hey.." she spoke quietly, "there was nothing you could do. I would have made the same choice in your position. I don't see what you did that was so wrong."

"I left you there", he half mewed. "I took him out and I left you there even though you were closer to the entre and obviously in more danger. I left you there."

"You came back."

"But-"

"Aaron."

He glanced at her again. She was holding his hand now, she was doing the comforting- it was an odd role reversal.

"You came back."

He had nothing to say to that, because it was true. He did go back. He hated to think about it, but he had put himself at huge risk to get them out- and if he was honest, he had expected to be finding remains rather than injuries.

"I know."

"So stop stressing. You're making me feel guilty for getting hurt. We did our jobs and you went beyond the call of duty to get us out."

He nodded sadly, trying to stop his lip from trembling. The last thing he wanted was to break down in front of her. Instead he turned to look at her deliberately. The emotion was clear for her to see, and she assumed that it was because he was in a self bullying state. She said nothing about it, but smiled tiredly at him.

"Have the doctors mentioned when I might get out of here?"

"I'm not sure. I was asleep for a few hours so I've heard nothing. They're keeping us both here overnight at least."

"I hate hospitals. I want to get out of here as soon as possible. Take the drugs and leave."

"And go back to living in your house on your own, with a surgery scar that will prevent you from doing anything excessive? I don't think so. You'll need help."

She sighed huffily, well aware that he would be in the same situation.

She just wanted out of the hospital but common sense told her that he was right. They weren't likely to get out of there anytime soon. She was beginning to wonder where the rest of the team had gone, when JJ came through the door.

"You're awake!", she said happily to Emily, and she smiled at Hotch as she stepped into the room. "I just wanted to tell you both that White's car was in the garage, which was relatively untouched by the explosion. We tore the car out and found journals in there detailing what he had done to each of those girls. His remains have been identified and we definitely had the right guy, so the case is closed."

Emily smiled at the blonde woman in front of her. "That's good news JJ. Means we can all stop focusing on him for a while."

JJ smiled kindly. "And you'll both be glad to hear that there are no more cases coming across my desk at the moment so we have some free time. I talked to the doctor on the way in. He said that you're both free to go tomorrow afternoon- as long as you both take care."

Emily grinned widely and Hotch smiled. He wasn't a big fan of hospitals either.

When JJ was gone, there was s brief silence. Neither of them, again, knew what to say. It was easy for them to remain professional when there was a professional atmosphere. But in the hospital, the two of them having shared something so central to survival, meant that perspectives were changing.

Before he could think it through properly, the door burst open and Hotch was astounded to find that his ex wife was standing in the doorway. He glanced at Emily, who had an eyebrow raised, her eyes fixed on Hotch.

Gaping like a fish, Hotch said nothing whatsoever- he made no efforts to ascertain what was going on.

"Aaron, I- I came here as soon as I could. I was at work, I had to find a sitter and I had to fly out here. I'm sorry it took so long," she stumbled the words out- and they sounded sincere.

Aaron wasn't going to pretend he felt nothing for her. She had come so far to see him and she looked genuinely worried. "Haley... We can take this back to my room. Agent Prentiss needs rest."

He kept his eyes locked into Emily's as he left with Haley. Emily wasn't a profiler for nothing- she had seen the worry and fear in Haley's eyes. She knew that Hotch would do anything for his family, and she figured that she knew what Haley was there to do- talk him out of the BAU again.

Sighing, she lapsed into non concentration and just lay idle.

Thank God she would be out of here tomorrow.

***

"Haley, I don't understand why you're so worried." Hotch said softly. "There's nothing wrong. This is part of the job," he continued.

Ever since they had returned to his room, she had been crying and sobbing and saying that she didn't want to lose him and she didn't want her son to end up without a father.

"You promised that you would be careful; that you would be there for him. And yet you spend your time at the office even more than before. You're isolated and alone, you have no friends, you spend your life caught up in the breeze of danger and you don't care about us at all. I was worried Aaron. I thought you might be dead and-"

"Haley. I'm fine. I don't know what you want me to say... It was a bomb. Two of my people got caught inside. I went to get them out."

"You're being blasé about this Aaron! You could have died! Left me here with a son to rear without you! Jack wouldn't have a father!"

That stopped Aaron in his tracks. He knew what she was getting at.

"What do you want me to do, Haley?"

"Leave the BAU. For Jack. For your son!"

Hotch sat down in the nearest chair and buried his head in his hands. He was still wearing the same bloody shirt from the previous day and he was still tired, worn out and, now that he thought about it, hungry. He didn't have time to play this game with her.

"Haley, I can't leave this job. You always said I was married to my work. I take time off for Jack as often as I can. But my job is my job. We've been through this. There is no way I can leave. My team needs me."

"Yes, obviously. You'll run into a burning building for them, but you're not there for Jack when he needs you." Her tone was acidic, raging and cold. Hotch didn't know what else to say. He didn't want a fight.

"Aaron... If you loved your son, you would have fought for him. You would have dragged me through the courts to keep him with you. Why didn't you do that? Do you not care about him?"

That was the breaking point for Hotch.

"You asked me not to contest the divorce! You asked me to sign those papers- for Jack! You asked me to make it as painless as possible- so I did. I did that for you! For you and Jack, because that's what you said you wanted! What more can I give you? You got what you wanted while I see my son grow up on videos and in pictures because when I'm available to have Jack, you're too bitter to allow me see him."

He stopped, angry and upset. He was standing- though he didn't remember when he had gotten to his feet- and his knuckles were white against his sides.

Haley was looking at him, not saying a word. She didn't look upset. She didn't look angry. She looked indifferent, apathetic and entirely calm now.

"You'll never change Aaron. Never." She got up to leave, but before she walked away from him, she turned with a final remark.

"Jack turns four next week. I don't want to see you on that day."

And she was gone, the door slamming against the wall as she marched out.

***

Emily had gotten bored and wandered from her room. She couldn't help but hear the yelling in the room down the hall- and she knew exactly who was in there and why they were yelling. She sighed and turned to go down another corridor, not wanting to hear anything she didn't need to.

Just as she turned the corner to leave the corridor, the door to that room burst open and Haley walked out, tears streaming down her blotchy, angry face. She didn't seem to see Emily- not that she would have said hello anyway, Emily theorised- but Emily could see Hotch standing inside the door of the room, looking out, saying nothing, doing nothing. Barely moving.

Worried, she walked back to that door and tapped the frame gently.

"Hey. Hotch. Hey!"

His eyes, once focused on the spot where Haley had stood just moments before, re-registered and focused on her instead. The lump in his throat wouldn't go away for some reason- had he just lost his son?- and his eyes were blurring over.

Emily stepped inside and closed the door quietly. "Aaron, sit down."

Without thinking, he did what he was told. She sat in the chair next to his and just as he started to sob, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder and stroked his back for a few moments, pulling him closer to her. When he tried to talk, she shushed him.

She wasn't sure how long she sat with him like that- she suspected no more than a minute or so- but he calmed down pretty quick, the logical side to him taking over.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It doesn't matter. She looked upset and you looked floored. I came to check you were okay."

"I'm fine." His voice was slightly stronger now.

"No, you're not fine. I heard what she said. She doesn't want you to see Jack. I wouldn't be fine."

He smiled to himself. This was a perceptive woman. And if only she knew, that ever since she had joined the team and earned his respect, he had come to like her more and more. Eventually he would have done anything for her, and he knew that it was because he was devastatingly attracted to her.

"I'll work it out with her once she's gotten over the shock of me telling her I won't leave the BAU again." His voice was bittersweet and he sighed. She knew what he had given up for the job- hell, she knew what she had given up for the job- no romance, no social life, no prospective future because she had disobeyed the chain of command. She sighed along with him.

But inside, there was a sense of relief. He was staying with the team- with her.

***

Within a few hours, they were both itching to leave. They had spent pretty much all of that time together, making small talk about books and films, nothing specific- and no mention of the troubles they were each suffering internally.

They each had only the clothes they had when they had made it to the hospital and they were each tired, worn down and sore. Nonetheless, when Morgan came to pick them up, they enthusiastically greeted him and carefully got into the SUV he would drive them to the hangar in.

The jet- and the team- were waiting for them. They were going back to Virginia. Back to the BAU- and to Strauss, who would try to have their heads for this latest disaster.