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Akira's nose wrinkles as she steps out of the sunlight and into the small lab Kimi works in. Kimi recently asked several more Great Wheel members to return to help with more ghoul medical research, and Amon's volunteered to lend some of his blood to them to study.
"Hey, Amon!" Kimi calls, setting her coffee down. "And Akira!"
Amon waves. Akira leans back against the wall. She shivers, missing the sun and the chirps and sprouts of spring. A yawn rises up, and she covers her mouth.
"Have some of Kimi's coffee," Amon teases her.
Kimi's lab coat hangs over her—is that a new coat? It's larger than Akira remembers.
Kimi sighs. "It's decaf, so it won't help."
"Decaf?" Akira echoes.
"Trying to cut back on caffeine," Kimi says as she ushers Amon over to her colleagues. She yawns too. "Apparently yawning's contagious."
Or something. Akira bites her lip. Amon looks over his shoulder and gives Akira a pointed look. You promised you'd ask.
Akira sighs. Kimi returns, tapping something into her computer. "How've you been, Kimi? I haven't seen you much lately."
"Oh," Kimi says, flushing scarlet. "Just—busy. Researching, and I'm seeing a few more ghoul patients besides Hinami—just minor things, but it's cool that they can trust me." She beams.
We're both dating ghouls. Akira smiles back at the girl. Her head throbs and she reaches up to rub it.
"Headache?" Kimi asks.
"Yeah—it's probably just because I'm exhausted." Akira's eyes catch Amon's. "Kimi, can you do a blood test to see if I'm anemic?" They had coffee with Mutsuki and Urie last night, and after Akira almost fell asleep into her wine, Mutsuki mentioned how being chronically anemic made him feel, and as a result Amon insisted Akira ask Kimi to test her.
"Huh?" Kimi's eyes widen. "You—you really haven't been feeling well?"
"Exhausted," Akira repeats. "But I haven't been sleeping well either, and I've felt out of breath a few times climbing stairs, and such."
"Sure," Kimi agrees, frowning. "I won't even make you schedule an appointment; I can test you right here and call you with the results."
"Thanks." Akira nods.
Amon wraps his arm around her as they leave the lab. Akira's shoulders relax the moment they're back out in the sunbathed air. Her elbow throbs from where they took blood. Amon's wound is already healing; hers will probably bruise.
He takes care of me, Akira thinks to her long-dead father. She could almost laugh. Her father would be shocked if he were to return to life today: his protégé a half-ghoul, his daughter dating him and working to help the ghouls who saved her life—working to help all ghouls, now. And one of those ghouls is the one whom he tried to kill, the one whose parents he slaughtered, and that ghoul's about to give birth to another ghoul in just over a month now.
The next morning, Akira's phone buzzes. Amon got up early to help Kaneki meet with the prime minister about a drafting for ghoul rights, and while Akira was invited, she plans to help Juuzou examine every single lead that's come in on Furuta instead, to separate the ridiculous from the plausible. She hopes.
"Hey, Kimi," Akira says, grabbing her purse and stuffing her feet inside her shoes. Goat's been set up with their own office building by the government—not that they're allowed to advertise it yet, for fear of retribution. But it's a step.
"I have the results back," Kimi reports. "Maybe you should come in to talk, Akira."
"I can't; I have to meet Juuzou at the office," Akira says as she jogs outside, twisting the lock to their small apartment. "What do they say?"
Kimi's quiet. "I think I should see you in person."
The sunshine suddenly feels brutal, harsh. Akira clutches the rail. "Am I dying or something?"
"No!" Kimi laughs. "It's just—you are mildly anemic, but there's something else too, and—"
"Is it serious?" Akira's glad Amon's not here to overhear this phone call, because he'd be in a tizzy listening to her end of the conversation.
"Depends on your definition—" Kimi mutters something about weird.
"Kimi, I really do need to help Juuzou with this—we need to find Furuta, and I—"
"Fine, Akira. You're pregnant. At least seven weeks, judging by your hCG levels."
"That's not possible." She got her period last month—didn't she? It was light… and she's heard that women can have some bleeding from implantation… Akira's head spins. "There's no way you got a sample mixed up with Hinami's?"
"No. I ran the test twice." Kimi blows out her breath. "Besides, hCG tells me how far along you are, and Hinami's levels would be different."
"Okay," Akira says, swallowing air. Her feet move of their own volition, carrying her down the sidewalk.
"You haven't been nauseated or anything?"
"No."
"Well, I'll stop by the office and give you some iron supplements," Kimi says. "Or, if you want, I can drop off prenatal vitamins—they have iron in them. But if you want to talk to Amon first—"
If I want? Akira turns and crosses the street, passing dozens of people. "I'll take the vitamins."
"Okay." Kimi's voice cracks as if she's about to cry.
"Kimi?" Akira brushes past an elderly couple. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Kimi insists. "There are—there's always a chance that—the baby won't make it. We've never really seen a pregnancy involving a half-ghoul and a human before, but you might need to eat flesh if you want to have the baby."
Akira almost trips in her heels. Dammit! "So are you saying it's pointless to try the vitamins?" The words cut at her throat.
"No," Kimi says. "I think you should try. If you want to, that is."
"I want to." Her mind whirls.
"If you go through with this, I'd like to be able to monitor your blood levels—it could help with our research, immensely—"
"Sure," Akira breathes as she arrives at the office building, in a seedier part of town. Tsukiyama got a gardener to tend to the garden, yanking up weeds and planting actual flowers. Yellow tulip buds peek out, ready to blossom in another week.
"I'll come by around lunchtime?"
"Sounds good." Akira hangs up before Kimi can say another word.
I'm pregnant.
Me.
It sinks into her like teeth, biting her shoulders and numbing her body. She stumbles into the building, where Juuzou waves.
I can't do this now. I need to concentrate.
She tries, but Juuzou can clearly tell that she's not fully there, and so can Shinohara. Kimi comes around noon and passes her the pills; Akira hides them in her purse. She checks her phone to see if Amon's texted her, not that she expects him to have. Tonight. She can tell him tonight.
"Akira?" Juuzou cocks his head. "What're you thinking about this tip?"
"Bull," Akira says. "It's phony."
Shinohara frowns at her.
"Really?" Juuzou frowns. "I think this one is plausible—we don't want to dismiss anything that's even remotely—what makes you think—"
"I'm not feeling well today," Akira cuts in, heart pounding. "I think I'm going to take the afternoon off. Sorry." She gets to her feet. "I'm anemic."
Shinohara studies her. "Okay."
"We can run through these tomorrow," Akira adds, fumbling to turn off her computer.
"Fine." Juuzou turns to Shinohara.
He's like your father, isn't he? Akira has to clench her fists to keep from touching her stomach. She thinks of her own father. Daddy, I love you—would you be proud? Sad? Angry? Disappointed?
Your grandchild going to be a quarter-ghoul.
"Good morning!" sings Hinami as she bursts inside the office, her belly sticking out. Akira feels faint.
"Hinami!" Juuzou pounces. "Is the baby moving?"
She pokes at her stomach. "Wake up, baby." A smile crosses her face. "There she goes."
"Akira's sick," Juuzou announces.
"I'm anemic," Akira shoots back, yanking her purse over her shoulder. "Nothing to worry about, Hinami."
"Want to feel the baby kick?" Hinami asks. "Only another month left."
"Are you ready?" Juuzou asks, the sun drenching them through the windows.
"Not even close," Hinami says. "Yomo says no one's ready, but then again, he's never had kids, so who knows."
"Okay," Akira says, stepping closer. Hinami grabs her hand and presses it over the stomach. Something smacks her palm. How does this feel when it's inside you? she wonders.
Dad, why did you kill her parents?
She thought she wrestled with that, cried in Hinami's arms when the girl told her how sorry she was for what she lost and meant it, because they both knew what it was like to lose their parents, but the lump spreading, sticky and poisoned, in Akira's throat testifies otherwise. We're friends now.
So maybe Dad wouldn't be disappointed in me having a ghoul for a baby.
Am I disappointed? The idea revolts Akira—I am not that cold-hearted! I love Amon, I love—I love this baby.
Kimi's words echo in her mind. I want it to live.
"Akira?" Hinami questions.
"Just tired," Akira repeats, and then she hustles out of the building, making it to the edge of the minuscule garden before she breaks down.
"Are you dying?" Juuzou calls behind her.
"Huh?" Akira spins around. He jogs out.
"You never take time off, and you almost cried in there." He rubs his eyes. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do I need to call Amon?"
"No!" Akira barks. "Do not call him, Juuzou!"
Juuzou snickers as he holds his hands up, fingers spread. "Okay." He links his fingers and places them on the back of his head, whistling.
It takes Akira a moment to realize he's whistling a lullaby. "Are you practicing for Hinami and Ayato's baby?"
He stops and grins at her.
Oh, no.
You are the worst, Juuzou. If she were to run into her father today, would he be able to tell?
She'll never know.
"I just found out today," Akira mutters.
"You telling anyone or is it a secret too?"
"Yeah, my boyfriend. Tonight," Akira snaps.
Juuzou covers his mouth and laughs.
Sorry it took so long, Amon texts Akira as he and Kaneki finally get in a taxi around ten in the evening. Feel free to go to sleep.
I'll stay up, Akira texts. Juuzou brought over donuts. Sorry.
At least you have breakfast for tomorrow, Amon responds. Akira still never eats past nine. Amon misses donuts.
Kaneki leans his head against the window and closes his eyes.
"Could have gone worse," Amon remarks.
"Thanks for helping me out in there," Kaneki mumbles. "I just—to be honest, I still want to retire and live a quiet life."
Amon's not sure that's possible. For either of them. But… "Finding Furuta would be a good first step."
Kaneki nods.
Amon bids Kaneki good night as the taxi drops them off. He fumbles with his keys.
"I've got it," calls Akira from inside. She swings the door open, and Amon grabs her and kisses her. Blond hair trails down her back, and Akira's already in her black, lacy pajamas. "Tell me all about it," she invites, heading to their small living area. She drops onto a couch. A box of donuts sits on the end table. Three are already missing.
"Juuzou help himself?" Amon questions, studying a chocolate glazed one. He remembers how the sweet pastry used to melt onto his tongue. Maybe not ever again.
"I gave him one," Akira admits, reaching for a strawberry frosted. "And I may have eaten two already."
"Two?" Amon's jaw drops. "And you're eating past nine?"
"I'm hungry, and I really want donuts." Akira scowls.
"I thought anemia was supposed to give you cravings for things that aren't food," Amon teases. The lamp glows behind Akira, kissing her hair and making it glow. "Did Kimi get back to you on that?"
"Long meeting, huh?" Akira rolls her eyes, clearly understanding that Amon isn't eager to talk about it. "Yeah. I'm mildly anemic." She sets half the donut down, pressing her lips together. "And—" She picks the donut back up and stuffs it in her mouth.
"And what?"
She finishes cramming it in and chews. Her hands reach for the box, breaking off a teeny piece of a chocolate glazed.
A laugh bubbles in Amon's throat. "Are you that hungry? Did you eat dinner?"
Akira finally swallows. She hesitates, clutching the chunk of chocolate donut, and her unfinished words hang in Amon's ears.
He remembers Ayato joking that Hinami's hungry a lot more than usual, followed by Hinami's mortification because clearly they know she's been eating flesh.
No.
"And what?" Amon repeats, his voice a croak.
"I'm pregnant. Seven weeks." Akira stuffs the piece in.
The words don't compute. "You're—we're—what?"
Akira pulls her hair back, trailing crumbs in it. "I said, I'm pregnant. Or Kimi says so. She ran the test twice, so don't question it. We know Kimi wouldn't say it if she wasn't sure." She swipes the crumbs away.
Amon doubles over. Breathe! His fingers fumble to clutch his cross.
"When you've calmed down," Akira says dryly. "I'll be waiting."
She's pregnant. With my child… oh my God.
Say something, you idiot.
"It's fine," Amon manages. "I'm—fine. Just trying not to picture your father crawling his way back from the afterlife to skewer me."
Akira actually giggles. Amon turns and wraps his arms around her.
"It's okay if you're scared," she mutters into his neck. "I'm—sad, and happy. I don't know—I didn't—our birth control must have failed."
"Will it be a ghoul, or—"
"No idea, but Kimi says it's possible they'd be more like a half-human. Like Hairu or Arima or the 0 Squad kids. But we don't know—it could still not make it, but she gave me prenatal vitamins, and—I might need to eat—what you eat."
Amon gapes at her. "You'd be okay with that?"
Akira shrugs. "I'd have to—try." Her voice breaks. "I think my father would have done it for me. Before he was broken."
I'm going to be a father. Amon lets out a guffaw.
"Huh?" Akira peers up at him with a frown. Blond strands stick to her cheeks, and he brushes them back and leans down to kiss her. His tongue roves deep in her mouth, and her breath comes wet and warm against his cheek. "Is this your way of celebrating?" she rasps. "By doing exactly what we did to get in this position in the first place?"
"Why not?" His arms lift her, carrying her into the bedroom, elation surging through him.
Endorphins lull Amon into sleep, and terror wakes him up. He dreamed about Mado rising out of his grave with a quinque that looks an awful lot like the one Juuzou carried just to chase Amon. "How dare you touch her, you half-ghoul?"
Akira still sleeps, her hair slung out on the pillow. Amon grabs his phone and texts Kaneki and Seidou. I need to talk to you.
The alarm goes off and Akira drags herself up. "No, Amon, I don't feel sick," she tells him, blinking sleep from her eyes. "I should go and finish combing through leads with Juuzou and Shinohara."
"If you're sure," he says. "Also—are we—telling people?"
"Kimi said there's a chance the baby won't make it." Akira bites her lip as she pauses on the edge of the bed. "Yes. We're telling people. Even if—it dies—I don't care who knows."
Amon hauls himself to his feet, closing the distance between them. He pulls Akira against his chest, his hands resting on her stomach. My son or daughter is in there.
You'll make it, baby. I promise you.
Reality slams into Amon as Akira shuts the bathroom door. Do we even have a chance? We were both raised by cruel men.
Who loved us, as flawed as they were.
Amon groans. I want to show my child a better kind of love. I don't want to hurt them.
It's inevitable, isn't it? That I'll hurt them?
What time? Seidou responds.
An hour?
Both Seidou and Kaneki show up after Akira's left.
"What is this about?" Seidou gripes. "If the two of you are trying to rope me into helping more with Goat, isn't me refusing to kill more people good enough, or—"
"Akira's pregnant," Amon blurts out.
The coffee cup in Kaneki's hand plummets to the floor, splashing all over the wood.
"Holy shit," says Seidou, gaping.
Amon scrambles for paper towels. Kaneki apologizes, but still looks up at Amon in shock.
"Did you take the idea from Ayato and Hinami or—" Seidou asks.
"It wasn't planned."
"My God. I can't believe Mado was that careless."
Amon glares at his friend, but Seidou lets out a laugh.
"Is she happy?" Kaneki ventures, no doubt remembering Hinami's words when their secret came out.
Amon nods, words clogging up his throat.
"Congratulations, then," Kaneki offers.
"You know," Seidou says, tapping his foot. "If you're worried about what Mado's old man would think, he's dead."
Amon scowls.
"Just marry her," Seidou says. "You're going to get married anyways, and a kid's a bigger commitment than a piece of paper anyways."
Amon claps his hands together, pressing his fingertips against his nose. "But what if—she—she may not be thinking—" We haven't even discussed that yet!
Seidou laughs again. "Amon, you are a real idiot sometimes." He looks to Kaneki, who glowers at him, Seidou's lips curve into a grin—a real one, one with his eyes alive, the grin Amon's seldom seen since their days as investigators—and he shakes his head. "We all know Mado isn't going to say no."