Disclaimer: The estranged world of -man belongs to Hoshino Katsura, whom I worship for creating Kanda
Warning: Non Con, Cursing and Violence…
CircUs of NIghT
~To Please a Customer~
The hall feels different than before, darker, more unnatural, it makes Allen feel dizzy with worry. He's terrified, fearful of what pleasing a customer means. He chances a look at Ivonne, who's walking before him, leading him back to his room.
He's been allowed to keep his old clothes, his past items, things that connect him to the Order still. Part of him wants to throw the items away though. He hates being reminded of how damn happy he had been there…
Allen feels like he's falling apart the closer he comes to the room that has his name on it.
"Flower," Ivonne's voice cuts into his thoughts, always amazing Allen at how it sounds…
"Understand that if you do not please the customer you will be punished…" The boy can only swallow the lump that is gathering in his throat, that's making it harder for him to breathe.
They stop before his room and Allen walks inside, half expecting the woman to follow. She doesn't though, waits by the door, out of view, not even watching him.
He grabs Tim out of his bag and stuffs the immobile golem into his sleeve.
Allen turns and heads back into the hall, feeling just a tad bit braver now that Tim is with him. He follows the woman back down an endless stretch of halls and corridors, all dimly lit and other worldly feeling. He himself feels like he's no longer apart of the outside world.
The thought is terrifying to him…
Ivonne stops at a door and opens it. The boy hesitates outside the room, knowing that he's delaying the inevitable…
"Flower, move." The woman's voice gives no room for conversation or disobedience. My arm doesn't work here… The thought floats to the forefront of Allen's mind, scaring him more than he feels he should be…
The room's lavish, like all the others he has been to except for his own. The place is decorated in deep reds and dark wood. There's a queen-sized bed towards the back, covered in deep red silk sheets and a black comforter. The bed is sitting atop a dark wood frame, complete with four posts.
Allen tears his eyes away from the bed and back to Ivonne. She's standing near a counter complete with a small sink and what looks like a single burner next to it. The moment the woman notices that Allen has turned his eyes back onto her she turns around and starts to pull a cup and teapot from the cupboard.
"You have to make tea for your customer. You will always make tea for them." The boy nods his head, feeling a small bout of hope form in his chest. If the rest of his tasks where like this then he could handle being there, he could complete his mission without any more problems…
"Don't pour the tea until the customer is in here but do take it off the burner when it's done." Ivonne steps off to the side after pulling the sugar cubes out. She stares at Allen a moment, thinking if she should say anything else before deciding against it.
The boy turns to pour water into the tea kettle. He's trying not to think too much, feels that if he gives the little bit of hope in his chest much thought then it'll grow into something that can only be broken.
"I am going to find a customer for you." The woman states before moving towards the door. "I'll be gone for a few minutes." Allen doesn't look back at her, doesn't show any signs that he's heard her.
"Sit on the white pillow when you're done. And remember it's your job to please your customers, no matter what." He turns at that, looks for the pillow Ivonne spoke of. Allen sees it, sitting by the dark wood coffee table before a small couch, where he assumes the customer is to sit…
The door opens and shuts.
Allen hears the sound of a lock clicking shut and it weighs heavily on his mind.
He ignores the odd hopeful sensation in his chest and continues to make the tea, setting Timcanpy on the counter. He tries to think of why he brought the golem, why he felt the sudden need to switch him on again.
Allen's trying to ignore how his hands are shaking lightly, how he feels nervous, how the small amount of hope in his chest seems to be diminishing itself. The boy turns his attention back to Tim and turns him on. The golem immediately starts to fly around his head.
He waits a minute, watching the golden creature unaware of the look he is giving him, of the pained expression on his face. Timcanpy seems shocked at his appearance and he can't say he blames him.
"I know I look odd…" Allen says before moving to sit on the pillow. He lets the golem fly about him once more before saying anything else. "I can't have you turned on for long right now, though…" Tim stops his movements before him, almost as if asking why.
"If they see you, they'll know that I'm an exorcist, and that would be bad." Allen looks down at his hands, letting Timcanpy fly about the room, recording everything he sees…
That's when he hears it, footsteps, loud and thunderous coming down the hall, in a half hurried manner. The boy can feel his heart beat quicken, can feel his anxiety rise and he begins to panic. He stands in a flash, grabbing the Golem and trying to turn him off…
…Only, Tim is protesting…
"Stop, please," Allen hates how worry is seeping into his voice, how his panic can be heard clearly. The steps are too close now, too close for him to power the golem down properly. "Listen, don't come out until I am completely alone again!" His voice is shaking and he's aware of the expression on his face, of the sheer panic he's displaying.
Allen hurries across the room, to the right side of the bed where there are several pillows piled atop and around one another. He shoves Timcanpy underneath them before hurrying to take his place on the pillow. He can hear the latch on the door click and before he can do anything else, before he can even attempt to calm himself, the door is opened.
Ivonne steps off to the side as a man walks into the room.
There is only silence in the library and it's misplaced for once.
Lavi's staring down at the file he's been given for his next assignment, eyes unfocused. His mind's still buzzing, thoughts still running rampant around his head. He can't push the emotions, the nagging sensations of worry, away. For once, Lavi hates how human he feels…
Bookman's sitting across the table from his student.
He's well aware of the fact that something has happened, something that has affected not only his student but Komui and Linalee as well. He has an idea of what but has long ago stopped coming to conclusions prematurely.
Lavi closes his eye, his head chaotic with all the feelings he's trying to block out, to force back, to pretend don't exist inside of him. It's late and he knows that he should probably try and sleep, after all, he's promised to spend the next day with Linalee.
The redhead closes his eyes. He feels like he's spinning in the dark, drifting away from himself, but before he becomes completely detached from his body Bookman speaks up.
"You have been staring at that piece of paper for almost an hour. If you haven't memorized it yet then I think you have damaged your head." Lavi looks up at the small man. The look he's given says that the other knows something has happened and that it'd be best if he explained it.
The redhead looks back down at the file in front of him, to actually see what's written on it… They were being sent to St. David's in Wales… Bookman stands from the seat he's been occupying for the past hour.
"If you plan on keeping silent, know that I do not appreciate it, as nothing good ever comes from keeping things inside."
"Saying that from a Bookman's point of view…?" The sentence is cruel in words but the redhead's voice sounds empty, almost stoic if it wasn't for the small amount of pain that's leaked into it.
"No, I'm saying that as your mentor." Lavi looks back down at the paper, the expression on Komui's face from earlier is floating into the forefront of his mind.
He's getting a headache from the memories…
"So, what has happened to the boy?" The redhead's eye snaps open and fixes on Bookman as he picks up the papers he has been reading.
"Jeez, Panda, can't I keep anything to myself?" The sentence is given a small smirk at the end, showing the old man that he is still himself. For a second Lavi thinks that Bookman's going to yell at him for his choice in words but when nothing's said he knows that now is not the time to tease.
The library falls back into silence and Lavi decides that he should give up for the night. He closes the file before him and leans back in the seat. His head's throbbing and he's trying to understand the ache he's feeling in his mind. He knows it's an emotion trying to force itself to the forefront of his thoughts.
"Allen's gone missing…" There's a pause in Bookman's movements, a momentary one before he returns to his papers.
"He'll turn up. He's not the kind to disappear for very long." The younger male shakes his head before standing.
"He's with the Circus of Night…" The room gains a sudden tension in the air, one that makes Lavi nervous all over again. He moves over towards the door, fully intent on heading back to their room.
"That's a problem then…"
"I know…" The younger man pauses in his steps, deciding to add another fact, "Komui isn't allowed to officially send anyone to help him…" He doesn't wait for anything more to be said before leaving the room.
The hall is cool feeling for the time of year but he takes no notice to it. Lavi has once again slipped back into his head. He's thinking of Allen, of what the boy might be going through and the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that he will never be the same when he returns.
Lavi can't help but wonder how damaged Allen might become…
Ivonne looks at Allen, her eyes are harsh and for a moment he's transfixed by them, terrified and amazed by the glare. He realizes though as the man moves to sit on the couch that he has to serve him tea.
"H-how much sugar would you like?" The door's shut and Allen assumes that Ivonne has left the room.
"None…" The man's voice is hard to decipher, hard to comprehend.
He has no idea how he's supposed to act…
Allen pours the tea into a small cup before walking over and placing it on the dark wood table. He takes his seat on the white pillow, his legs folded neatly underneath him. The man takes a sip of the tea he's been given and Allen glances at him. He's unsure if he's to look the customer in the eye…
"You know, you are a rather beautiful flower." The boy glances at the man again, at his lightly tanned skin and dark hair. He avoids making eye contact. The sentence has made him uneasy and he feels violated by it.
"Th-thank you…" Allen tries to remain polite, to be courteous but he can't help how his voice shakes, how his mind is screaming at him that something bad is about to happen.
The man sets the tea cup down on the table and leans forward, "Come, sit at my feet, I want to see you a little better…" Allen feels his stomach churn and he's beginning to feel nauseous again. His heart starts to beat faster than before.
His pulse starts to speed up, his anxiety going along with it.
The boy stands after a moment and does as the man has asked – he's been given no reason as to be wary of him, yet. Please your customer… Allen can smell the man now, can smell the cologne he's wearing and the scent that's undeniably wrong to him. He swallows the lump forming in his throat, praying that his heart isn't beating as loud as he thinks it is.
That's when he feels a hand on his face, on his cheek.
The boy jerks back, his hands starting to tremble. His fear's beginning to physically show itself now. Allen can't help but think of one thing though, and it's that the hand was too soft, too unused and well taken care of…
"Don't be like that, Flower…" The last word is stressed and it sends a shiver down Allen's spine, causing him to feel violated again. He gives a sideways glance up at the man and catches his eyes this time, the look in them.
The look alone is enough to scare him, the lecherous stare that's fixed on him…
He suddenly feels disgusted with himself, with the place he's in, with Komui who has sent him there. He's starting to resent the Asian man, to resent even the Order. His thoughts are brought to a halt as he feels that all too soft hand on the back of his neck, forcing his head to tilt back, to make him look at the man.
"I think it's about time that I see what's under that pretty robe of yours…"
Allen pulls back, physically moves himself a few feet from the man. He's feeling violated again and wraps his arms around himself protectively. He knows very well now that he was right to be wary, to worry about his proximity with the other.
For a moment nothing's said and all Allen can do is stare at the other, hoping that his glare has the same intensity that Kanda's always did. The man seems amused at his reaction and even smiles a little before realizing that he's serious and not just playing with him.
His smile quickly falls into a frown.
"You shouldn't look at me like that. I'm not a bad person." Allen can feel his restraint suddenly snap, can feel himself fall back into how he used to be. He can't help but reply.
"You shouldn't look at me like that, it's disgusting!" Within an instant the man is on his feet, towering over Allen a good foot or so. He's glaring at him, clearly hating what's been said. The boy feels like he should say something but his heart is pounding so loud that it's starting to affect his mind.
That's when he feels it…
The sudden hit to his head, hard enough to knock him to the ground in a pathetic heap…
Allen's dazed, his head spinning and he knows that he should move, should do something but his mind's reeling from the blow. He feels his arms being moved, pinned down to his sides. His vision's blurry and he feels like he's going to be sick - the room is spinning.
"You will fucking obey me, you piece of shit." The man's voice is near his ear, growling at him, sending Allen's body into high alert - his mind trying to kick start itself from the all too dizzying hit.
"I paid for you, and you will fucking let me have you!" The boy's head gives a painful throb. His blood's rushing through his system, making it hard for him to hear. He has to do something before anything more happens…
Allen feels a hand slip up his leg, his thigh.
His mind snaps back into order in an instant, telling him that self-preservation has to happen now, that he has to protect himself over the other's life.
He fights the man, shoves him off of his body, using all of his strength to protest the threat that's happening. The man curses, hitting him, but Allen's persistent, shoves and fights more then he feels he has for anything before.
He's given another blow to the head before the man moves away from him, glaring and clearly pissed. The boy feels triumphant for a moment, for a split second before he realizes what's about to happen.
The man's already at the door, already calling out to someone. Allen's head is throbbing, his ears feel deaf and he suddenly can't think. He's close to begging the man to come back into the room. He almost does so except by the time he thinks about it Ivonne is at the door.
"You have a problem?" She asks in that voice that Allen loves and hates.
"He isn't submitting to me!" The man snaps. The boy opens his mouth, about to protest but Ivonne is walking towards him, her eyes are intense and he's suddenly terrified of what's about to happen. She stops just before him and for a moment Allen thinks she's going to say something, only for a moment though because she raises her hand to strike him.
The blow never lands…
Allen opens his eyes and stares at the Circus Master as she holds onto Ivonne's hand.
"Leave the room." The words are demanded at the other woman. The younger female nods, terror flashing upon her face before turning and saying something to the man, something that Allen cannot hear - his ears feel deaf, are still unhearing.
All he can hear is his own heart beating, hammering away at his rib cage. He can't think of anything but the pain he felt when he woke up, of when he was marked. His eyes are large and the expression on his face is of nothing but fear.
Allen realizes now that he's made a mistake in trying to protect himself, has momentarily forgotten that he no longer owns his body, that the woman before him does.
…And that his arm no longer works…
The Circus Master raises her hand and brings it down on Allen with so much force that he's knocked over again. He tries to protect himself this time, covers his head with his arms. The blow still lands, still knocks him over and onto his side.
He starts to cry now, tries to think of some way to protect himself. The woman before him is screaming, her shouts falling on deaf ears. Allen can feel the sound starting up, the sound that woke him up before.
He's kicked in the ribs as the ringing starts in his ears, soft at first but quickly growing in intensity. The pain's starting up causes him to grab his head, to pull at his hair. Tears begin to gather in his eyes, more so than before. Allen's shouting, screaming for the pain to stop.
The Circus Master scoffs at him, her voice the only thing he can hear through the mind-numbing noise, "You brought this upon yourself!" She hits him again and Allen screams, pulls at his hair even more now. He feels like his brain's going to explode, like he's losing his mind.
"Please!" He shouts through his tears, his body twisting in agony. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"
Allen's hit again, the woman's voice breaking through the noise, "Will you obey your customer now?"
"Yes!" The boy sobs, wants nothing more than to never hear that sound again.
The Circus Master leans back, stands up straight. She stares down at Allen, watches him pull his body into a fetal position as the shrill noise starts to fade, as the pressure inside of his skull lessens.
He's left crying on the floor for a moment, only for a moment because the woman drags him towards the bed. He can do nothing to protest, nothing to deny the other of what she's doing. His body's physically drained because of the pain.
She pulls his yukata open, exposing him to the room.
Allen stares up at the ceiling, his head beginning to feel numb, his body heavy. The door opens and he can hear people talking briefly. He doesn't understand what's being said - his head is too numb, his mind too scrambled to concentrate on anything.
He can't help but continue to cry silently, to let his pain show. He doesn't want to be there, to have been given this mission. Allen knows that he'll never complete it, that he's stuck there. He gives another choked sob and sees something in the corner of his eye.
He had forgotten all about Timcanpy…
The door shuts and Allen can hear the man walk towards him, taking heavy steps to make his presence even more apparent. The man stops at the foot of the bed and smirks at him, at how he's got his way, after all he is the customer…
"You know, you have a lovely design on your pelvic bone and naval…" The boy has no clue what the man's talking about. He isn't given time to think though as he feels a finger run across his hip, in an attempt at teasing him. He can only feel disgusted with himself.
Allen says nothing. He turns his head away from the other and catches sight of where Timcanpy's hiding. A sound fills the room, and he knows what it is.
His heart rate jumps again…
The man's undoing his pants.
The bed shifts a moment later as the other climbs onto it. He drags his hands along Allen's torso, down to his hips and past his thighs, spreads his knees. The boy squeezes his eyes shut and looks away from where Tim's hiding, he can feel a fresh set of tears filling his eyes, blurring his vision again.
The man's saying something to him, but he tries to block it out, tries to ignore everything. His tears are free flowing now, spilling from his eyes as he feels something wet enter him.
Allen lays still, limp on the bed, tries to think of something, anything other than the finger that's inside him. The man says something about him being somewhat stretched.
He closes his eyes and imagines the Order, tries to remember what he used to be like, what it felt like to be so naive of the world. His hair's fisted and his head's suddenly tilted back.
"Look at me, Flower." The man hisses angrily, his eyes showing nothing but contempt for the boy. Allen nods and his hair's let go. He continues to stare at the man, not really looking at him, not really seeing anything at all. The fingers that have been inside of him are removed and replaced quickly with something much larger.
Allen can't help but compare the feeling to the illusion of Kanda, he can't deny how he had wanted it that time, no matter what he said in the beginning. The man above him makes a sound, says something more, but he blocks him out, ignores the pulse inside of him as much as possible.
He feels violated, and sickened with himself. He hates how he's unable to fight back, how he feels so utterly helpless. Allen wants to say no, wants to harm the man more than anything he has ever encountered in his life.
But he knows he can't…
That his arm doesn't work there…
The man starts to move, starts to pull out and push back in. Allen gasps at the sudden sensation, in pain, but the man takes it another way, smirks and speeds his pace up. The boy feels like he's being ripped in half. He wants to vomit, wants to hurt the other. He wants to do so many things but he knows he can't, that he can't do anything if he wants to live.
The sensation continues and Allen's trying to count all of the finders in the Order, tries to keep his mind busy, to detach himself from the moment. The man's breathing is growing labored, and despite how nauseating the sound is the boy's glad to hear it, to know that what's happening will be over soon…
There's a grunt that fills the room and something warm and sticky spills inside of him, increasing the nauseating sensation in his stomach. The man sits there for a moment, basking in his release before pulling out. The boy's thankful for no longer being in contact with the other.
The sound of rustling clothes fills the air.
Allen closes his eyes, counts the seconds that it takes for the other to leave the room, the seconds it takes for him to completely break down and cry.
The door opens and shuts.
A silence fills the void only broken by his sobs. He has pulled his body back into a fetal position, facing towards the left side of the room. Allen's wishing that someone would come for him, would come save him before he completely loses himself.
There's a light sound from the other side of the room alerting the boy. He realizes that Timcanpy's still there, has witnessed what he's just gone through. The golem peaks out from beneath the pillows, almost timid-like. Allen covers his body with the open robe and hurries towards Tim. He tries to ignore the pain in his chest, the overwhelming need to cry again.
"I'm so sorry Tim…" His voice is shaking, trembling as much as his hands as he picks the golden creature up. "I'm so sorry!" He fumbles a moment, trying to power the golem off.
Allen's successful after a second and before anything more happens he stuffs the creature into his sleeve. He's left in silence once more, an overpowering silence that makes him wish he was with someone else, makes him wish he was someone else.
The door to the room opens up and Ivonne steps inside. She stares at the boy a moment before speaking in a voice that almost sounds like she cares about his wellbeing.
"That was only your first customer. You will have to learn to keep in line and do whatever they wish from now on." Allen nods his head, reaches up and wipes some of his tears away, wishes he didn't feel so pathetic.
"Up, it's time for you to bathe," The woman's voice has taken on its harsh tone again, causes him to wish someone would come for him already.
And he has no idea when it will happen
Up next: Away from here
~Lafy