Chapter 4 The Land of Duckies and Bunnies

After much debate over whether the Robin was a bird or a toaster, Batman and Robin proceeded to the Land of Duckies and Bunnies.

"Batman, where are we frolicking off to now?"Robin asked after Batman asked him to take out a map.

"We are going to the Land of Duckies and Bunnies shopping center to find you a new costume."

Robin looked at his circus costume that was now dirty from three days worth of stains.
"Batman, if you wouldn't mind, could you tell me what you had in mind for my costumes?" Robin asked fearing the worst.

"I already had the costume place put it on hold for you. You shall see it when we get there. It will be a surprise!" Batman squeaked with excitement.

Batman and Robin continued their journey and parked their Batmobile in the section QUACK at the Land of Duckies and Bunnies parking lot.

As Robin walked into the store he noticed that Batman was nowhere in sight. Suddenly the huge, black-caped freak ran past him and into the store as his batmanish theme song completed his grand entrance.

The poor workers cowered in fear as Batman slowly walked past the freaked customers to the layaway area.

"I'm here to pick up my boy's costume."

"It'll be just a minute, sir."

Batman turned around to see Robin hiding behind a rack of Star Trek dresses, trying to blend in with the customers around him.

"Gaw ha ha ha ha!" Batman laughed heartily,"My boy would never wear a dress made from polyester!"

"Batman, if you don't mind, could you please not call me 'your boy'!" Robin asked angrily. Batman began to hum to the tune of the song that was playing and pretended not to hear Robin's request. Soon the man came back and placed a large red bag on the counter.

"That will be $47.50 plus tax. Will you pay with cash or credit?"

"Do you take Casino tokens?" Batman asked as he reached for his pocket.

"Ummmmm…no," replied the clueless clerk.

"Fewwy!" /Also spelled Fooey, though it's not a real word anyway/ Batman grumbled and grabbed his wallet and took out $10 in Monopoly money and slammed it on the counter. As the man tried to explain that Batman had to pay with real money, Batman grabbed the bag with one hand and Robin's right arm with the other and stormed out of the store.

"Batman, do you plan on ever paying for my costume?" Robin asked rubbing the red mark that Batman left on his arm.

"I did pay for it you silly goose," Batman said as he started the engine. Robin felt that it was useless to explain to Batman that it was against the law to take something that wasn't paid for with real money.

"Come hither my young boy and set your eyes on this!" Batman yelled upon arriving back home. Robin walked over and saw that Batman had pulled out a hideous yellow, green, and red spandex suit.

Although he hated the suit, Robin didn't want to anger the slow-witted bat(man), so he thanked Batman and took the clown suit up to his room.

It was then that Robin saw a glass of red wine on the table in the hallway. Robin, thinking quickly, took the wine and poured it on as much of the suit that he could.

The next day Robin showed the monstrous stain to Batman.

"Oh no! Robin! My boy would never wear a suit with a stain on it! Thank god I saw an infomercial on Magocleanstuff! It should clear up that nasty stain right away!" Batman once again squeaked with excitement.

Robin stared in shock as another of his plans were ruined by an infomercial product. /not like any of his other plans had been ruined by infomercials…

"Welcome Robin, to the infomercial hall of fame!" Batman yelled in glory as he opened the doors to a room with every infomercial product ever to be sold on national television. Batman skipped mindlessly to the cleaning product aisle and cleaned the stain.

Robin stared in shock and wondered why the world wanted to torture him. His conclusion was that this whole Batman incident was some kind of test of power and patience.

"Robin, put it on. I want to see how it looks," Batman squeaked.

Robin proceeded to the bathroom and put on the horrid outfit. Robin stepped out and promptly checked to see if any windows were nearby.

"Oh my gosh, you remind me of someone," Batman exclaimed as a tear came to his eye, "You remind of myself as a young boy."

Robin's pupil-less eyes got wide and he found that it was difficult to breathe. Just as Robin gasped for breath, the butler came in.

"Robin, may I offer a word of advice?" the butler asked when he saw that Robin was on the brink of a breakdown. "Robin, just go along with Master Bruce. Soon you will grow accustomed to his interesting thoughts on life."

"I suppose you're right," Robin answered as Batman skipped to the Bathcave.