I'm not quite sure what to make of the Denali's, just as the first time I met them, at my and Edwards wedding. They seem nice enough, but I can't help but feel jealous, knowing that Tanya used to have a thing for Edward. I try to remind myself it's me he married and he promised countless times there is no one else for him, but still, it's odd having someone in the house who you feel like you have to compete with. Especially when they are a stunning strawberry blond vampire and you are a plain, boring, average human.
Alice constantly throws odd glances my way, too, as if I'm missing some part of the puzzle.
And nights remain the same. I try, in every way I can think of, to make Edward let go, to be with me properly, like the married couple we are, but night after night, he kisses me lightly goodnight and leaves me alone in our bed.
Each time he closes the door behind him, I feel more and more like a child. Like my father closing me out for the night so the adults can have their fun. And each time it clicks into place my heart breaks a little bit more.
I should say something, but it's funny, the more hurt you get, the less likely you are to speak up about it, instead hiding more and more in your own self. So every day, when he wakes me up with a passionate kiss that he stops quickly, and some form of breakfast, I smile and try to pretend nothing is the matter. And for the day, things seem as they always do, I laugh, stumble around tripping over my own feet, feeling close to him...until night falls again and he draws away from me once more.
Tonight I watch Tanya as I feel Edward closing off, and I could swear she looks...happy? I'm probably being paranoid.
Tomorrow...tomorrow I will try something completely new.