The wine remained untouched, though the glass was in her hand for 40 minutes now. The darkness outside was giving her an odd kind of comfort, one that she didn't want, but needed anyway. Hide was the only thing she could do these days.
32 days have gone away and she was counting every minute of every hour of every day, trying to fight the intense nothingness that had settled inside her heart unceremoniously. Tears have gone dry, the rare smiles appearing only for Henry and baby Neal.
Work became a scape, a tactic to take her mind away from the sadness that was slowly taking over her life lately. Regina was now spending long hours after work on her own at her office. She craved the undisturbed silence every night because only then she could stop pretending that everything was okay. She could stop hiding herself from her own sorrows, the bitter taste of loss never leaving her.
She would normally grab a glass of wine and sip it until the town was as silent as her battled thoughts, and as tired as her resolve to not show anything to anyone. These moments of silence and utter solitude, these brief moments in which she let the weakness take hold of her heart were devastatingly real because that's when she allowed herself to touch her wounds and feel that everything was still open, fresh and bleeding.
She saw him that afternoon walking hand in hand with his lovely son. The boy chatting away happily, talking about something that probably amused him in this new realm where he's living a happy and complete life with his father and mother. Unlike her, he now had a chance to have a loving mother at his side to support him, love him and raise him like he deserves. It killed her every time she saw him to know that she was the one who deprived him of his mother's presence. In another time line, she had managed to hurt that adorable boy whom she loved so much now.
She sighed and turned her back to the window. Closing the curtains with a flick of her wrist, Regina put the untouched glass of wine down, rubbing her temple, trying to ease the nagging headache that had been bothering her all day long. She looked over to the couch and memories of a happy day long gone assaulted her once again. It was routine, one that she couldn't stop going through. It hurt to remember, but somehow hurting was a comforting feeling when most of the time now she just felt sadness mixed with copious amounts of nothingness.
The world was rather gray, with flicks of color whenever she spent an afternoon with Henry or when he was sleeping over at her house. The weekends he was with her were always the happiest and she usually was full of energy and hope, her heart bursting with love for her son. Then, when he had to cross the threshold of her mansion to go back to Emma's place, everything turned cold and uninteresting again.
32 days, 2 hours and 17 minutes. She was counting every minute of every hour of every day because only then she felt like something was moving forward, once her heart was stubbornly stuck in that blissful moment outside Granny's when she thought that she didn't find happiness instead fought for it, finding herself again in the process, her heart connecting with a person she thought was long gone, buried in the darkness that took hold of her life, a darkness that is now gone for she was now unable to let the light he brought to her life go away.
So, I'm so enjoying this series. I hope I can bring some more to you guys. Meanwhile, thank you for reading. Reviews are much appreciated ;)