Kay so most of these are like things that happened with my friends…. Hahaahahahahahahaha good times good times. This is a chapter with Renesmee so it's like after Breaking Dawn. And Bella is like never mentioned in here since she's like THE MAIN CHARACTER of Twilight. This is for the people who don't really get noticed all that much.. kinda. Oh btw I don't own the Cullen llama song! I just know it (:

The Cullens (and ick Jacob) hear the Cullen llama song.

The Cullens and Jacob were sitting in the Cullen's living room when they heard their doorbell. Jasper got up and walked to the door, with Alice swinging on his arm. He opened the door and a short, little looking girl was there.

"Hello…. OH…MY….FUZZ ARE YOU JASPER?!" The girl squeaked.

"Yes…" Jasper answered with his SEXY voice.

"Oh, oh… oh DANG you're sexy! I'm Allie… and I wanna sing you a song! Could you get your whole family here, and Jacob if he's here?" Allie said cheerfully.

"Why don't you just come in?" Alice offered, and grabbed her hand. They walked into the living room where everyone was.

"Kay so here it goes! Here's a Cullen, there's a Cullen and another little Cullen, fuzzy Cullen, funny Cullen, Cullen Cullen, Truck. Cullen Cullen werewolf Cullen, grizzly muffin piano Cullen, Cullen Cullen bracelet Cullen, Cullen Cullen truck. I was once a Volvo, Cedward baked a cake, but I never saw the way the Bella kissed the Jake! I was only just undead, Alice told a tale! And now listen Bella, dear, Jacob wags his tale! Did you ever see a Cullen? Kiss a Cullen on the Cullen? Cullen's Cullen taste of Cullen, Cullen Cullen truck. Half a Cullen twice a Cullen, not a Cullen, Newton Cullen, Cullen in a car alarm a Cullen, Cullen truck. Is that how its told now? Aro is so old. Is it made of venom juice, sparkle marble cold. Alice likes to spend the cash, Jacob's out of luck, and in the final chapter he imprints on a duck!!" Allie sang, ran to Jasper and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then ran out the door. The Cullens and ick Jacob stood there, staring after the girl. Jacob turned to Renesmee.

"You're a duck?! I thought you were a loch ness monster!!!!" Jacob put his hand on his cheek, pointed at Renesmee, and squealed. Renesmee looked up at Jacob.

"I'm not a ducky stupid, stupid Jacob… that song lied! Liar song!" Renesmee pointed in the direction Allie ran with her cute little finger.

"That was mean when they said I wagged my tail…" Jacob said sadly, totally ignoring his Duck ness monster girlfriend thingy.

"Well, you do." Rosalie said jerkishly. (that's not a word? It should be!)

"Very true…" Jacob said, and howled. Then he ran out the door. Mike came in the house randomly.

"It mentioned my last name! Haha!" He said, then ran out the door as Jacob did. Alice giggled.

"Well, it didn't lie for me. I do like to spend the cash! C'mon, Jasper! Let's go… go… to the MALL!!!!" Alice grabbed Jasper's hand.

"Hot Topic?" Jasper asked.

Alice sighed. "Fine."

"Yippee!" And they skipped off to go to the mall on Jasper's sexy motorcycle (which he never uses cept for now cuz I bet he'd look sexy on it…. Especially if he had his SHIRT OFF! Woooo!).

Aaaaaaand it's over! This was an idea from one o' my bestest friends, Jori. I really didn't know how to uh… write it. So I hope it's good!

Review or I will provoke the Volturi and blame you! (hah, Jori!)

That rhymed, TOO!!!