AN: I went back and forth on this update! This was such struggle to write for the simple fact that I loved episode 6.23 and I was very tempted to try and incorporate it into this story. I probably could have made it work but I wasn't entirely certain so I decided to stick with my original vision. The good news is that I have enough going on in my head to do another one shot! Once again I am going to confess that I am very nervous about posting this. I know some of you have great expectations for insight into Julian's mind and that quite simply terrifies me because I am uncertain of the overall finished product. I never intended to go as deeply with him as I did with Brooke, however since that went over so well with you all; I thought I would try to extend the same creativity with Julian. I have to wonder if I am ever going to stop being nervous about posting a new chapter because I think all of you are so amazing to me! You are extremely generous with your compliments and I want to inspire each of you the way you have inspired me!!! You all deserve nothing but the best I am capable of and so I am going to shut up now, let you read and decide for yourselves if I did Julian justice. Please let me know what you think of it! Thank you so much for reading!!! Thank you so much for all of your reviews and alerts!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything affiliated with OTH, nor do I own the title of the chapter, I am just borrowing the song title from James Morrison. All mistakes are mine for which I apologize for in advance.
***Flashback in Italics***
Chapter 4: Nothing Ever Hurt Like You
Brooke and Sam were not the only ones who had a late night. In fact Julian had only managed to catch a few hours sleep, not being able to finally relax until just before daybreak. It didn't take a genius to figure out that his loss of sleep was caused by the reappearance of Brooke Davis in his life, well not his life specifically; she hadn't come to LA to see him. He was fully aware she had travelled twenty-five hundred miles to spend time with her daughter and he had just crashed the party, even though Sam had invited him. Brooke's reaction made it abundantly clear that she wouldn't have gotten in touch with him had it not been for Sam. As ridiculous as it seemed he couldn't help but be hurt by that fact. He could admit that he often wondered about her, more than he liked and it was also natural for him to have wondered if she ever thought of him. Now he finally had his answer and hopefully that would cease anymore thoughts about that subject because clearly she was just fine without him, just as he had predicted she would be. She harbored no curiosity about him and it was best if he did the same from now on.
Even now he still couldn't believe he actually thought he had been equipped to handle all that would come along with seeing her again. All the constant reassurances that he had plenty of time to prepare for the idea of seeing her again certainly had to give him an edge. How wrong he had been! The idea was nothing compared to the reality. He had entertained hopes that the evening would have been an opportunity to catch up on one another's lives, to create some sort of association where Sam would be able to speak their names with the other and not fear the reaction. He had seriously thought this could perhaps even provide a bit of closure for them without the mess of any emotions involved. Reflecting back on how foolish that sounded made him want to punch his pillow. He really needed to learn to put Brooke in the past and accept that she was never going to be a part of his future, in any capacity, it seemed. Things had been going along just fine and it was imperative that he remember that. He sighed as he thought back to the events of the night before and hoped that he had not compromised all the progress he had made in the past months.
Upon leaving Sam's Julian had one goal in mind and that was to NOT think about Brooke Davis! By his estimation he could accomplish this in one of two ways, the first being to head straight for the nearest crowded bar, with very loud music, where he could proceed to get very drunk. Or perhaps he should seriously consider the lesser destructive diversion which had the potential to be just as effective as hard liquor, if handled properly. Since Julian had not been too thrilled with the idea of suffering the ill effects that followed after a night of consuming large amounts of alcohol, which is what would have been required to drive thoughts of the beautiful fashion designer out of his mind, he opted for picking up his cell before he even left the lobby of Sam's building and dialed a number that was becoming familiar to him. Vanessa answered by the third ring and he immediately asked if she was free for the remainder of the evening. He was not been the least bit surprised when she had no trouble accommodating him on such short notice even though he had told her earlier in the day that he had plans for the night himself and she had previously told him she had plans with some of her girls for a night out. She never asked him why he was suddenly free and that was more than fine with him, as he wouldn't have told her the truth in any case. After telling her that he would be there in fifteen minutes he had hung up.
Vanessa was a girl he had met at one of the Hollywood Parties he often had to attend to generate more contacts and cultivate the ones he already had. Julian usually attended them alone, not because he wanted to randomly hook up with anyone he met who may have caught his interest, though this happened rather frequently, but mostly because he considered the parties work and he didn't want to have to worry about if his date was having a good time or if she was making a good impression on his business associates. Vanessa was an aspiring actress who had just landed a lead role in a pilot for one of the major television networks. One of his associates from the studio had introduced them and he had been seeing her casually for several weeks now. She was the first woman who had come along and was able to keep his interest for more than two dates. He enjoyed her company, they had fun together and while he wasn't looking for anything serious he thought there may be potential between them, which was something that he had not found with anyone else in a very long time. Though sometimes he wondered if had less to do with Vanessa and more of his need to prove he was truly over Brooke Davis and open to the idea of letting someone else in. That was something he needed to figure out but it wouldn't be happening in the wake of seeing his ex.
As soon as Vanessa opened the door, all blonde, beautiful and dressed for a night out, he knew it was a mistake for him to be there. He should have opted for the mind numbing effects of alcohol rather than the hopes that she could provide him with a more pleasant distraction from his thoughts. As he followed her in his mind had immediately wondered off. He quickly realized that he would be lousy company and though he really just wanted to leave he suggested they stay in and watch a movie instead. He rationalized that he would spend a couple hours with her since this particular activity wouldn't require them to converse and he would not feel like a complete ass for bailing on her almost as soon as he arrived considering this had been his idea in the first place and she had obviously adjusted her plans to be with him. After she changed, they settled in to watch a movie she had selected and as she cuddled next to him on the couch he could no longer control his thoughts on how wrong this suddenly felt on every level. She felt wrong in his arms, her scent was all wrong, the texture and color of her hair were all wrong, the sound of her laughter was all wrong, her touch against his skin was all wrong, everything just felt so wrong and it had not been this way before. Not until he had lain eyes on Brooke Davis, the woman who was permanently engraved in his heart. By sheer force of will he was able to finish the movie with his arms around her however as soon as the credits began to roll he made up some pretext as to how he had an early meeting and needed to get home to put some things together last minute. He felt like even more of an ass than he had earlier once he had caught a glimpse of her disappointment that he wouldn't be staying the night as he had done a few times before. No matter how badly he may have felt about that there had been no way he could handle staying the night with her, not tonight. He knew with absolute certainty he could not be with her and NOT think of Brooke, not compare her to Brooke, not wish she was Brooke and most of all not be disappointed that she was NOT Brooke. He had thought Peyton had messed with his head once upon a time but that was nothing compared to the way Brooke Davis twisted him up in such excruciating ways, then and still. Julian escaped with a quick peck on the lips before he rushed out the door with a careless promise to call her tomorrow.
After he had left Vanessa's he made a detour to the nearest liquor store for the best bottle of bourbon he could find and headed straight home where he intended to try plan a since plan b had failed so miserably. While he allowed the drink to dull his mind, he indulged in a dangerous trip down memory lane of all the moments he had shared with Brooke and Sam all the way up to their tearful ending at the airport. The months he had spent in Tree Hill with those two remarkable women were the best in his life! He had never felt such peace or happiness, so much excitement for the future. For the first time he had been completely happy with every aspect of his life and he believed that it would only get better.
Julian sighed as he recalled that he couldn't remember much else about the night after that as he was pretty sure he finished the whole bottle of bourbon off. Luckily he had had the presence of mind to drinking lots of water, a key to avoiding a serious hangover, before he had made his way into bed just before dawn. Fortunately he wasn't in too bad of shape as he gazed at the sunshine pouring through his floor to ceiling bedroom windows that faced the beach. It seemed the water helped keep the worst of the headache away except for the faint throbbing he felt in the back of his head. But then maybe the headache could be attributed to the fact that he was trying to now keep his mind from drifting to some of the darkest and loneliest days he had ever experienced. He did not like to look back and see himself in the first six months of his return to LA because it scared the hell out of him remembering the depths to which he had willingly sunk to. Upon his arrival aback in LA he found himself continually struggling with thoughts of how he could have handled the whole thing differently. He wondered how it would have turned out had he not pushed her so hard, not forced the issue so much. He thought about if only he had had more time in Tree Hill, if only the movie hadn't been canceled, if only she had asked him to stay, if only she had been willing to let him into her heart, if only she had told him she loved him. He lost track of how many times he had rewritten their ending over, though the scenario would constantly change the ending remained the same, he would always gets the girl and they would find their happily ever after. It had been these types of thoughts that constantly consumed him until he felt like he was losing his mind. It was not a period of time that he liked to reflect back on. Those months had been extremely rough for him. His old had life felt empty and insignificant, to the point that he isolated himself. Julian had blown off numerous invitations to party with the Hollywood elite in favor of staying at home, despite how lonely it was, and every night he had stared at his email and blackberry, hoping that Brooke would make some effort to contact him.
Each day that passed seemed to break his heart a little more rather than strengthen his resolve. Thankfully he had buried himself in work, reading many scripts the studio had obtained now that it was being run by someone other than his father. The studio had been anxious to find a new project and Julian was grateful to keep his mind occupied even if it meant he had to read several love stories. Those had torn at his already battered heart. Work had been his only saving grace but even he had to admit he couldn't find his true passion for it. A few of his friends had been quite worried about him but he refused to talk about what was bothering him. They wouldn't understand and he had known their idea of help would be to suggest finding another girl to replace the one who rejected him. Getting involved with someone was the last thing Julian had wanted to do. The wounds were too fresh. He gradually concluded that the best thing he could do was take some time and try to rid his heart of its longing for Brooke Davis. To achieve that objective his brilliant plan had been to embrace the pain thinking it would be the quickest way to get over her and then the healing process could begin.
During those dark days he could finally relate to Peyton in that when you found the one you were meant to be with it was impossible to ever truly move on no matter who came along, or how great the two of you could be if only the heart were not so stubborn and fixated on the unobtainable. If only the heart were not so dead set against settling for great after experiencing the bliss of finding love that changed you and made you a better person even if the love had been unrequited, for him anyway. He was happy that Peyton had found her own happy ending with Lucas considering everyone who had gotten caught in the cross fire of their love.
He had also relate to Brooke on another level than he had before, in the fact that once you experienced the pain of having your heart fractured so completely, not just broken, you were reluctant to expose yourself to those feelings again. While their circumstances may not have been the same it didn't lessen the pain any or make it less real. He had never tried so hard with anyone as he had with Brooke and he swore he would never do it again. He was still open to the idea of love and he hoped he found it someday but he would never permit himself to love to the degree he had with her, he would never permit himself to fall as hard as he had for her and he would never put himself out there for anyone to break him the way she had. It just didn't seem worth it and he had finally understood why Brooke was the way she was. While he was still open to the possibilities he knew he would never give his heart to anyone the way he had with her. That was a once in a lifetime experience for him, just as she had been.
And finally Julian had to admit that he was envious of Lucas Scott and it had nothing to do with Peyton Sawyer. He was jealous of the hold he would always have over Brooke and he wished Lucas knew how lucky he was even if Julian didn't believe he was worthy of it. It practically killed him to know that Brooke loved Lucas as much as Julian loved her while Lucas was living his happily ever after with Peyton completely oblivious to the mass of destruction their love had left behind. It would have been easy to blame Lucas for the mess he and Brooke had made but even at his lowest point Julian knew that was unrealistic. Brooke's pain was her choice just as his was all his own doing. He had been tempted so many times during those dismal days to call Lucas to ask him how he had ever gotten over Brooke Davis and could he please share with him the secret because he was so desperate to feel something other than the agony that constantly shadowed him and threatened his peace of mind.
The only real bright spot in his life at that time had been his conversations with Sam. He never would have thought a smartass teenager could change his life so much. Hell he never thought Brooke could change him so much, but she had. Between the two, he had never desired a family as much as they made him want one, had made him feel like he already had one. In fact until he had met them Julian had never really planned on having kids of his own. Between his hardass father and absent mother he had never really had a traditional family structure and had therefore been unable to realize the importance of family. Being surrounded by Brooke and Sam had made him appreciate what having a real family could mean, what a difference that could make in someone's life. Sam was a brilliant example of how life altering an experience that could be.
The first couple of times that Julian had spoken with Sam after his departure from the small town in North Carolina Sam had filled him in on all he had missed with everyone, constantly mentioning Brooke as much as she could and though he refused to comment, he greedily soaked up all the details she had imparted to him. He recalled clearly a particular instance when Sam had called him really upset about an argument she had just gotten into with Brooke a couple weeks after he had been back in LA. He had teasingly asked her if she was shop lifting again, to which Sam had responded with one of her sarcastic comebacks that had caused him to chuckle. He hadn't been able to help himself though since it was her sarcasm that had endeared her to him from their very first meeting. He had always appreciated her wit and dry sense of humor. After having had his laugh he had inquired about the context of the argument. Sam had confessed that she had just blown up at Brooke for not going to LA with him, since she never had the chance to go with Jack when he had to move away. Secretly he was touched but he had quickly advised Sam that she needed to apologize to Brooke whether she agreed with Brooke's decision or not. Sam had heatedly asked him if he was always going to take Brooke's side and why wasn't he mad at her too since they could have been a family. While her words had echoed his thoughts they only added to the injury he was already suffering from and he had realized that if this was really going to work he had to sever the last connection he had with Brooke. He had firmly explained to Sam that he did not want to be the reason she fought with Brooke and from this point on he would prefer not to know anything more about Brooke, she had made her choice and he and Sam needed to learn to live with it. Much to his shock Sam had not protested his request, mostly because he assumed she knew how much he was still hurting over Brooke and everything that had transpired between them, or more importantly what hadn't happened. He had never said anything to Sam about how he was doing however she was intuitive enough to know how he must have been feeling since she had complied so readily with his wishes. Sam had rarely mentioned Brooke after that and he never asked about her foster mother no matter how the great temptation was at times.
From then on their conversations had been comprised of the details surrounding her life with school, her social activities, her writing and occasionally boys, if she needed the male perspective on things. Julian's answer had always been the same no matter the circumstances; none of them were worth her time, she was out of their league and she should just forget about them. To which she had always asked him if he was EVER going to approve of anyone for her? He had admitted that it was extremely unlikely that he ever would. Sam would then tell him to lower his expectations. His response had never wavered, absolutely not, she deserved the best and she had yet to find that with anyone she talked to him about. After that Sam would change the subject, wisely concluding that she was not going to win that debate with him. He had looked forward to their weekly talks because she never failed to lift his spirits no matter how down he may have been before hearing her voice.
Over the years Sam would send him every piece of work she produced and he would send them back full of encouraging remarks as well as offering some constructive criticisms to help her reach her full potential, which she possessed in abundance as far as he was concerned. He was so confident in her talent that he had even shared some of her pieces with other people in the industry to get some of their feedback for her just in case she doubted his opinion. He was always willing to help her and he loved that she valued what he had to say. He had been thrilled when she had informed him that she had been accepted into UCLA where she planned to study Film and creative writing, as she was interested in both. He had promised her that anything she needed and was in his power to give her she could consider it done. He had even asked her if she wanted to stay with him as he had several spare rooms in his house. Sam had kindly declined his offer, explaining she had wanted to get the full college experience by living in an on campus apartment. He had understood and told her that his home would always open to her even if she just wanted to get away for the weekend. That conversation had also been one of the first times he had almost broken his own rule by asking how Brooke was handling the news that her daughter was moving across the country. But he had thought better of it and never voiced his curiosity to Sam. It had also been one of the only times in recent memory that he had been very tempted to contact her himself. In the end though had he pushed that urge aside rationalizing that it was best to keep things as they were, they had both moved on and he was certain that he was the last person she would confide in, that is what her friends in Tree Hill were for. She had made it clear she hadn't needed him.
When Sam had first invited Julian to Parent's Weekend, he had been extremely affected by the offer and readily agreed. It was only afterwards that he had realized that meant he would have to see Brooke as well and actually spend time with her. The idea had disturbed him greatly to the point where he had already been formulating a strategy to use work as an excuse to cancel last minute. His plans for a sudden business trip out of town that particular weekend became wishful thinking once it registered with him how excited Sam had been at the prospect of having both her mother and father figure present for a school event for the first time in her life and there was no way he was going to disappoint her like that. If she had wanted the illusion of a family for a couple of days he could handle it because that is what a parent did for their child. They sacrificed their own needs for that of their child and Sam was as close to a daughter as he had so he had resigned himself to deal with whatever fallout that may have come from seeing the woman who had once devastated his heart. He had assured himself that he had come a long way since he left that amazing small town and there was no reason why Brooke would have any effect on his life. He had determined things in his mind by thinking he would go to make Sam happy, he would spend a few hours with them, then Brooke would leave and his life would resume as it had since he had resolved to put the pieces of his life back together again. Julian groaned thinking for the second time since he had awoke that morning how foolish that attitude had been. As if he could be in the presence of the woman who tossed his heart away and walk away unscathed. He had practically left a trail of tears between Tree Hill and LA.
Julian could not explain it to himself let alone anyone else about how he had finally been able to get control over his emotions again after feeling so lost for so long. One morning he had woke up exhausted emotionally as well as mentally and he had realized that he couldn't go on this way for much longer. He could not continue to wait for her, which is something he realized he had been doing subconsciously. Something had to give, he had to find the strength to let go before he lost himself entirely. He was beyond tired of missing Brooke. The ache he felt did nothing to change the circumstances. Brooke had not made a single attempt to get in touch with him no matter how hard he had stared at the phone or computer screen willing her to do so. In fact her silence was irrefutable proof that she did not miss him. It had meant that she had no regrets and she was not going to change her mind. She had never seen a future for them and that made what they had forgettable. Faced with those facts he had only two options, to carry on in the depressed way he had been or learn to live without Brooke and rebuild his life, one that would not include her. He had eventually concluded that the heartache would linger for as long as he let it and he could quite possibly drown in despair indefinitely because he suspected that he would not ever fully heal.
It had not been the easiest road but Julian had become intent on making a sincere effort to bury his love for Brooke, to move beyond the pain of dreams unrealized and missing both of the girls who had touched his life so immeasurably. The way he had been carrying on since his returned home had been completely unhealthy and once he had acknowledged that he knew it was a step in the right direction. His recovery from his dejected state of mind had not been an easy one as some days had been worse than others but he managed to make it through them. Even now he could concede he still suffered through the occasional bad day, which he defined as those times when something would happen to trigger a memory, such as when he heard her name spoken among the women in the office about her latest line of clothes, or at a party when he heard girls talking about who designed the dress they were wearing or when he saw her on the cover of a magazine as he walked the streets of LA. Those moments would bring him back and force him to confront the memories he tried to keep locked away. But even then he in turn tried to think about the precious times they had shared instead of the pain that came with losing her, because really he still found beauty in the attempt as he had once told her. He may have regretted the fact that things had ended but he would never regret having fallen in love with her. How could he when she had brought so much happiness into his life for a brief period of time. Loving her had changed him, had inspired him to be more than he thought possible of himself but that wasn't any real surprise considering that seemed to be her gift to those who were blessed enough to know her. There were still bad days but they were not unbearable anymore and fortunately his good days, days that she didn't cross his mind at all, outnumbered the bad. His life may not have been complete but that didn't interfere with his ability to take the necessary steps to continue on in the journey called life.
Once he had made the commitment to slowly salvage the life he had put on hold after his heartbreak Julian had slowly begun to hang out with his buddies, though he never really addressed what had happened to him and they never pushed the issue. He eventually had reclaimed his former passion for work and found the satisfaction he once had for the career that drove chats with Sam remained the best part of any week and that was the one thing he had been unwilling to give loved her too much and while at times it might have made his life less complicated to put her in the past as well, she just mattered too much to him. In time he had started to date again and though it wasn't intentional he rarely saw the same woman more than twice. He could offer no logical explanation for how that patterned developed either other than to say that they had usually failed to keep his attention long enough for more than supposed it might have something to do with the fact that he was not looking for anything serious, not after feeling so intensely and passionately about a particular woman he preferred not to think about. Maybe it was because he was trying to protect his heart or anyone else who was interested knowing that his heart wasn't fully whole and probably never would be again and not for a long time to the pattern represented something deeper that he had yet to figure out the significance of. Truth be told if that was the case he wasn't sure he cared for discovering the answer, though Sam had once offered to share her theory to which he had insisted she keep to were working just fine for him as far as he had been concerned. He was always careful about never leading anyone on and his main goal was to make sure both he and the girl he was with had fun. He was finally content with his life again and he saw nothing wrong with that.
While his life may have been busy currently he always made sure he had time for his favorite girl, Sammy. Now that she was living in LA, they had dinner at least once a week in place of the weekly phone conversations they had spent months engaging in. It amazed him to see how far she had come in the years that had passed. She was still his Samson and yet she had changed so much. He was so proud of her and he thought Brooke had done an exceptional job in raising her. He had hoped to have the chance to tell Brooke that during her visit but that seemed unlikely given how they had left things the previous night.
Brooke's reaction still perplexed him. He wasn't all together sure what he had been expecting upon seeing her again but it certainly hadn't been for Brooke to freak out like that, although he was not completely innocent of adding to the intensity by losing his cool and pushing her for more of reaction to help him solve the mystery her tears had been shed between the two of them he thought that they had ended things amicably enough at the airport. Therefore he saw no reason for there to be any resentment between them, he definitely did not harbor any and since he had been the one who got hurt the most, the scene that had taken place in Sam's apartment confused the hell out of him. Rather than two friendly exes catching up after a long absence, they acted like bitter exes who couldn't stand to be in the same room with one another. Sam had never given him any indication that Brooke hated him and surely if that were the case she would have warned him. It was something he was going to have to ask the young girl about the next time they talked as he was very curious.
He could admit now that he was disappointed with the way things had turned out, mostly for Sam's sake since he knew how excited she had been and how important this weekend was to her. If he were being completely honest he could acknowledge that he was also disappointed that he wouldn't be able to test his resolve and the belief that he was finally over Brooke, that he wouldn't be able to gain the closure he felt was needed to eradicate the feeling that he had left something unfinished. He supposed it didn't really matter since he had survived seeing her and his life was not falling apart. Granted the foundation may have been shaken a bit, hence his need for large quantities of alcohol the night before, but it was not anything he couldn't fix, there would be no permanent damage. He need not fear any relapse that would negate the tremendous progress he had made in the past two years of his determination to get over Brooke. Now he could finally accept things as they were, he was over Brooke Davis as much as he was ever going to be! He could live with that considering that Brooke got over him as soon as he had boarded the plane for LA and he was probably being generous with that assessment since she had never loved him at all and never wanted to, if he were being completely honest.
Realizing that he had spent far too much time thinking about Brooke Davis already between last night and the start of today Julian thought a run on the beach might help clear his head and relax a bit before he figured out how to spend the rest of his day. Though he still felt tired he didn't want to spend the remainder of his day in bed being unproductive. Thos days were long gone and Julian only allowed himself the luxury of a lazy day in bed if he had someone to share it with, which was a rare occurrence since he was not in the habit of bringing girls to his home. Since that wasn't the case this morning he knew he should get up soon and call Vanessa to apologize as he had treated her so unfairly and maybe check in with Sam as well to see if she had made up with Brooke. He knew how much it bothered both girls when they got into disagreements with one another.
Before Julian could make any effort to officially start his day, he heard the sound of his cell phone vibrating against the solid wood of his nightstand. He rolled over in bed and reached for his blackberry, looking at the caller id, already smiling before he accepted the call. "Good morning Samson! I hope you were easy on your mother and the two of you worked things out. It really wasn't fair for you to ambush her like that." He said in way of a greeting.
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Sam is everything okay?" He asked concerned. He was already halfway out of bed when he heard a female voice answer. Only it wasn't Sam's. He would recognize that voice anywhere even if she hadn't identified herself. It was the voice he constantly struggled to forget.
"Hello Julian, it's Brooke. I borrowed Sam's phone, I hope you don't mind my calling. Did I catch you at a bad time?" She asked politely.
Though he was wide awake, he slowly laid back down in his king size bed willing the rate of his heart to slow down now that he knew there was nothing to be concerned with. He refused to believe that the sudden racing of his heart had anything thing to do with talking to Brooke. "It is fine Brooke. Is everything okay with Sam?"
"Yes she is fine and yes she went easy on me. I appreciate your support despite the fact that I was a complete bitch to you yesterday."
"You weren't a bitch and I think it was totally uncool of Sam to surprise you that way. Who knows how I would have reacted had the situation been reversed."
"Now who is being easy on me? Surprised or not, I still owe you a huge apology. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. You were an invited guest in Sam's home and I was terribly rude to both of you. I know how close the two of you are and how much you have done for her over the years. Instead of expressing my gratitude to you, which is what I should have done, I proceeded to attack you for no reason and I am terribly sorry about that. I would like to make it up to you and Sam, if you will let me."
"That is not necessary Brooke. I accept your apology even though I am not convinced the circumstances warrant one. I wasn't exactly friendly to you either," he admitted.
"Only because I provoked you. I really would like to make it up to you, as well as Sam. What do you say?"
Against his better judgment he asked, "what did you have in mind?"
"We all meet for brunch and then take a tour of the school as planned. What do you think?"
Julian realized that what she was suggesting entailed him to spending most of the day with her. The sensible part of him screamed for him to politely decline the offer, tell her to enjoy her time with Sam and wish her well. The masochist in him was shouting to get the hell out of bed and ask what time he should meet them. It was a brief and violent war he waged internally before reaching a conclusion. Was his pride really worth all this? Just mere minutes ago he had been disappointed that he wouldn't be able to find out if he was really over Brooke and now that he had a chance to find out he wondered if that was the wisest course to take. In fact he thought he would be an absolute fool to agree to her proposal considering how fifteen minutes in her presence disrupted his life; he could only imagine the damage she could accomplish given a few hours.
Before he had a chance to respond, she replied in a voice that could only be described as barely above a whisper, "please."
With that one word Julian knew he was willing to suffer the consequences of his decision. "What time were you thinking?"
"How does eleven sound?"
Julian glanced over at his silver watch on the nightstand, it had been a gift from Sam for his birthday last year and he wore it every day. He mentally calculated the time it would take him to get ready and maneuver his way through traffic. "That should work." He would have liked more time to process this latest development but what would be the point. In less than twenty-four hours Brooke Davis had managed to turn his world upside down, just as she had from the moment he had stumbled upon her doing that ridiculous Molly Ringwald dance in the privacy of her store all those years ago.
"Great!" She exclaimed, her voice full of enthusiasm. "Where would you like to go? We could meet you there."
"I know just the place," he replied deliberately keeping his answer vague. "I will pick you and Samson up by eleven."
"That sounds perfect. We will see you then."
"See you then," he agreed.
Just as he was about to hang up he heard her say, "hey Julian."
"Yes?"
"Thank you for allowing me another chance to start over."
Julian frowned at her choice of words, thinking if only she really meant them, but that was impossible since Brooke never thought they had belonged together to begin with. "No problem." He said before he hung up pondering if only they could start over again from the moment he saw her at the airport. That was the day that had changed his life the most. He was aware that some arguments could be made that things seemed to have changed dramatically between him and Brooke the moment he declared his love for her as they laid in her bed after making love one morning. Though he would concede that as the catalyst that set it all in motion, it wasn't the moment that everything changed. That moment occurred in a crowded airport as he realized that she and Sam would not be joining him, where he was forced to say good-bye to her and all of the dreams he had for their future together as a family. A family he had never realized he wanted until he fell for both of them. Shaking off that haunting memory Julian rose from the bed and headed into the bathroom to get ready for his outing with the two girls who would be forever etched into his heart.
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Across town Brooke's hand shook as she passed the phone over to Sam as she informed her, "he will be here by eleven."
"See," she said flashing her mother a triumphant smile. "I told you he wouldn't say no."
"Don't get your hopes up Sam." Brooke cautioned.
Sam rolled her eyes. "So what did you bring that's going to make him want to jump you?"
"Samantha!" Brooke shouted.
"Like you would say no." Sam challenged. "You two were all over each other all the time."
"We were not!" Brooke denied.
"Whatever, guess we will have to blame your failing memory on old age then. I remember clearly because walking in on the two of you making out on the sofa scarred me for life." Sam said as she jumped up off the couch and out of Brooke's reach.
"Hey, I am not OLD!" Brooke shouted as she chased after a giggling Sam. While it warmed her heart to see her daughter so happy it scared her because she wasn't confident she could make it last, too many factors were out of her control, including her own emotions when it came to one Julian Baker.
AN2: So this update was a bit long. I probably should have broken it down into two chapters so I really hope I didn't bore any of you lovely readers. I also hope I didn't confuse you with the switch between present and past tense thoughts. I promise I tried really hard to make it flow as best as I could. If you have any questions please let me know. If I failed in my attempt to avoid creating any confusion I am really sorry. As always I would love to hear your thoughts…good or bad. Did I give Julian enough of a voice and a clear look inside this incredible man's head? Was it too much? Not enough? Any feedback is appreciated. As are suggestions for what you would like to see happen in this story. I have a few ideas but am giving myself room to accommodate what you would like to see happen with these two. And yes Vanessa will be putting in an appearance later on. Though that was never originally part of the story, however since so many of you have requested it, I have worked out an outline for that scene. So now you have heard my thoughts, can I please hear yours? Thank you again for reading!
I would also like to thank you few people who have left reviews that I was unable to respond to in a PM…
Sunshine~ It was my pleasure for the previous note, hope you do not mind another one! That is not dorky at all. I can promise you that I am just as excited when you take the time to leave me such a lovely review. It is such a relief to know that you could understand both Brooke and Sam in the last chapter, as I think it was an extremely important one that sets the stage for the rest of the story. It is really nice to hear that you are siding with Brooke, though I must confess I am sided with Sam. LOL I think it is safe to say that Brooke is going to proceed with caution where Julian is concerned. As for Julian well the guy has been burned badly so we shall see what happens. I do not want to give everything away. Where would be the fun in that? Thank you for your lengthy review, I loved reading all of your thoughts. I hope I didn't disappoint you with Julian's POV.
Sab~ Thank you so much for you awesome review!!! It was so much fun to read! I know I teased around Julian's girl in this latest chapter. She will actually be making a real appearance later on. I promise lots of Brulian interaction now that we know what both characters thoughts are. Your faith in me is amazing! I hope I continue to live up to your hopes. I am glad you are enjoying Sam, she will definitely be a factor on the next couple of chapters. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts. I am humbled by your words of praise and they mean so much to me! Thank you!!!
Lisa~ Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I am so happy that you are enjoying this story!! More Brooke and Julian interaction is coming beginning next chapter and for several more after that! Thanks again!
Jessy~ I am thrilled to know that I have captured your interest with this story! It is a lot of fun to write. As I mentioned before Julian's girl will be seen for a bit, though that was never the plan. Thanks to all of your requests she may play a bigger role. I hope you all are prepared. LOL I am sorry to keep you waiting for updates. Trust me when I say I KNOW that feeling well! I am so flattered that you enjoy this story that much!!! As for the idea of Julian's dad, hmm, I never thought about that for this one. Let me think about it and if not this one, an upcoming one for sure. Okay? As for Brooke and Julian I hope you will read on to see what happens next. Thank you for your wonderful review and sharing your thoughts with me!
Rebecca~ Aw thank you so much!!! I agree I think Julian does deserve to be fought for and I am so glad that you are looking forward to seeing how Brooke goes about that. Julian's girl will be showing up later, I promise. I am surprised so many of you want her to make an appearance. LOL I really never expected that. But I am always up for making my readers happy!! Thank you for taking the time to read and share your feedback with me. I appreciate that!