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Memories of a Childhood Forgotten

This time when Mary got to Marshall's house, she didn't bother with the bell and instead pounded loudly on the door. She had been hoping Marshall would have gone to lunch with her after their workout where she could have tried to get him to open up about what was going on. It stung when he turned away and walked away from her… In those moments she had literally seen his defense walls going up and she wasn't used to being left stood on the other side, wondering how to get through.

"What?" It was Tom opening the door again and just like before he was leaning against the frame and squinting at the light but when he managed to focus on her, he blinked a couple of times. "Wow, déjà vu…"

Mary rolled her eyes but didn't wait for an invite this time and pushed past him into the house. "Where's Marshall?"

She glanced into the living when she passed it to see it was empty but the coffee table was littered with soda cans, a dirty plate and empty painkiller packets. There was a pillow at one end of the couch and a comforter crumbled up at the other end. With the TV playing cartoons, Mary guessed that Tom was still trying to recover from his hangover.

"He went to gym…" Tom was slower to follower her from the doorway.

"I know I was just with him." Mary stopped in the kitchen and turned to face him. "He didn't come home?"

Tom yawned and ran a hand over his face, leaning back against the wall. "Nope."

"Well, where is he?" She folded her arms.

"I'm his brother not his mother." Tom replied.

"So, he's really not here?" She asked again.

"You can search the house if you want." Tom answered. "Check to see if he's hiding under the bed…"

"Why are you here?" She cut in bluntly.

"In kitchen? I followed you…"

"You know what I mean." She glared at him.

"How about you tell me why you're here." Tom pushed away from the wall to stand up straight. "You said you were just with him…"

"He walked off." Mary told him. "And Marshall never does that…He never walks away from me."

"He's tired and hung-over…" Tom started to suggest.

"Oh cut the crap…Why are you here? What the hell is going on?"

"That's my own business and it has nothing to do with you…"

"You're dragging Marshall into this so it makes it my business…"

"He's my brother and I'm not dragging him into anything!" He said firmly. "I'm here to spend time with him…"

"He's been acting weird since you've got here and I want to know why that is!"

"If he wanted you to know then he would have told you." Tom claimed. "Now if that's all then I'd really like to go back to bed…"

"I swear to god, if anything happens to him…if you do anything to hurt him…" Mary warned.

"He's my brother….I protect him not hurt him." Tom said coolly.

"I know Marshall…I know something is not right." Mary said before moving past him, making sure to bump his shoulder with hers on the way.

"Did you know he has nightmares?"

Mary stopped, taking a second before turning around to face him again. "What?"

"He has nightmares." Tom repeated. "You said earlier that he never stays in bed late…Did you ever think the reason could be because he doesn't sleep well?"

"Why does he have nightmares?" Mary asked quietly but was mostly taking to herself.

"You tell me…" Tom shrugged. "You're the one that knows him so well…"

Mary stared at him as he walked past her. "He's my partner…My best friend."

"So you've said." He pulled open the front door and looked back at her.

"I want to help him." Mary knew that he wanted her to leave but she stayed rooted in the same spot.

"If he wants or needs help, he'll ask for her."

Mary didn't know how to react…she wasn't used to be shutting out of Marshall's life by him and especially not by someone else.

"Was there anything else?"

"Tell Marshall to call me." Mary muttered as she stormed past him out of the house.

Tom closed the door and stayed where he was for a few moments until he heard footsteps coming down the stairs that he turned.

"She's not going to let it go." Tom stated.

"Why did you tell her I have nightmares?" Marshall asked.

"Because you do."

"Tom…"

"Have you spoken to anyone about them?"

"Are you kidding me?" Marshall exclaimed. "You've been suspended from work, kicked out by your wife and hiding from Mom and Dad...All you need to do is see your department shrink to fix it and you're giving me a hard for not sleeping well."

"I know it's a little hypercritical…"

"Yeah, just a bit." Marshall cut in sarcastically turning and heading into the kitchen.

Tom followed him, watching his brother moving around the room, cleaning for a minute before speaking. "Does Nick know?"

"Know what?" Marshall asked shortly, his back still to his brother.

"About the nightmares."

"Does Nick know why you were suspended from work? Why you won't talk to the doctor?" Marshall shot back.

"Yes."

His answered made Marshall turn back to him, not expecting him to say that

"You tell Nick everything." Tom continued.

"Maybe I'm not a little kid anymore… Maybe I've grown up and don't need my big brothers to fix everything for me."

"What do you need fixing?" Tom prompted.

Marshall rolled his eyes and went back to wiping down the counter. "Drop it, Tom."

"Okay." He held up his hands in defeat. "I'll let it go."

"Good."

"Your girl from last night, one of her friends was telling about this party…"

"She's not my girl." Marshall interrupted to correct.

"Whatever…Do you want to go?"

"Not really." Marshall answered. He had enjoyed the night before and spending it with Holly but he wasn't one for partying all night and picking up women… He definitely wasn't the type to do it two nights in a row.

"We can just go out for a drink then." He suggested. "Play a little pool or something…"

Another night of staying out late and drinking was not what Marshall wanted…He wanted to spend the evening cooking a healthy, notorious meal…He wanted to watch a mindless movie…He wanted to call Mary and tell her that he was okay…that he didn't have nightmares…that he wasn't scared… He wasn't weak…That she could still trust him.

Despite all of that he still felt himself agreeing with his brother's plans because that's what his life's goal has always been….To be just like his older brothers.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Great…Well, I'm going to get some more sleep." Tom said.

"I'll make some lunch for later, then."

"Thanks." Tom smiled. "Oh and Marshall?"

"Yeah?"

"It's our job."

Marshall turned to look at him and frowned. "What is?"

"To fix things for you…" Tom shrugged. "It's mine and Nick's job to protect you…always has been."

Marshall stared after his brother as he walked off down the hallway. "Yeah…."

Marshall stayed close to his father as they entered his grandparents' house. They had dropped his mother off at the hospital on the way over and if she had been there, Marshall would have been gripping her hand tightly but Marshall never held his Dad's hand.

"Come on, boys…let's get those coats off." Cecilia Mann fussed over his older brothers, taking their coats so she could hang them up.

"And you, young man." She smiled as she turned to Marshall.

Marshall only moved to stand closer to his Dad, hiding behind his legs slightly.

Seth sighed and looked down at his youngest, wondering if he had been telling the truth back the house about how he felt. "He says he doesn't feel well."

"Oh dear…"

Seth knelt down in front of his son, unzipping his coat and was thankful that Marshall didn't resist him pulling it off but he wasn't surprised…Marshall almost always did what he was told. He made sure to press his palm against the boy's forehead as he removed his hat but there was still no sign of a temperature.

"I'm sure he'll be okay." Seth stood up again, handing the coat to his mother. It wouldn't make a difference even if Marshall was coming down with an illness…He needed to go to work.

"I'll keep an eye on him." Cecilia reassured him and then took his place, knelling down in front of her grandson. "How about you help me cook dinner?"

"Just us?" He questioned quietly.

"Well, I'm sure your brothers would rather play outside." She glanced at the older boys who were already reaching for their coats again at the words granting them permission for the question they were going to ask once they father had left.

"Thanks, Grandma!" Nicky grinned widely at her. "Are you coming, Marshall?"

"It might best if he stay inside if he's not feel well." Cecilia stood up straight and put an arm around her youngest grandson's shoulders. "We'll cook up something nice for dinner, right honey?"

Marshall looked up at her and smiled for the first time since lunch time.

"Right, well I need to get to work…" Seth stated, glancing once more down at Marshall. He trusted his mother to take good care of his sons, even if they were sick but for the first ever he felt uneasy about leaving any of them there. "Marshall?"

Marshall turned back to his Dad when he called his name and was surprised when crouch down in front of him again.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked.

Marshall nodded. "I'll be good, Daddy."

"I know you will." Seth said softly, smiling a little sadly because he knew Marshall had said that because he thought that was what he wanted to hear. "How about in the morning after Mom has finished work we come and get you and your brothers so we can all go for some breakfast?"

His little boy's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah, we'll go to that place that makes those big pancakes." Seth couldn't help but return the smile and then stood up. "Okay, I need to go."

"Honey, why don't you go and wash your hands before you get started on dinner." Cecelia suggested.

"Okay." He nodded.

She waited until he had gone before looking at her son. "He'll be fine once we get started in the kitchen."

"Just watch him." Seth still couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. "Where's Dad?"

"He went to store to get some shopping…He'll be back soon."

"Right, well you have my office number if you need to get hold of me."

"We'll be fine, don't worry." Cecelia smiled reassuring and squeezed his forearm.

Seth nodded and took a few steps into the kitchen, which led out to the backyard. "Thomas, Nicholas."

His older sons immediately appeared from outside.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"I'm leaving now…I'll pick you up early tomorrow for breakfast."

"Okay…" They both turned to go back to their game.

"And look after your brother, okay?" Seth added. "You're older, it's your job."

"Don't worry, Dad…He'll take care of him." Nicky replied, running off to catch up with Tommy.

TBC

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