Babe... pls...
Every day I stray further from (Normal and serious storytelling)
Crack all the way. shoot it into my veins boiiis.
I hate my life lol. I'm gonna finish this fic and never look at it ever again.
Notes:
* So my Iori has fallen off the deep end of 'non-canon'. He has this voice in his head called Riot - as in 'Blood Riot'. Normally Riot is all murdery, but some events happened (in progress, March of Skelly) and they sorta became friends. So Riot is literally autistic. Like he's so dumb, which makes sense because he's not even a real person. Yag kinda likes him, he's like a talking dog.
* Problem is, drunk Yag is even dumber than Riot.
* Riot language key. (he speaks in all caps): ORANGE = Kyo; THUNDERBOY = Benimaru; KING = Yag.
* Honestly, this shit is so contrived, it's hardly worth understanding. Why do i keep doing this? shootmedoitdoit
It's really hot in here. I think my collar's too tight. The shot glasses are all lined up, like little soldiers, or chess pieces. Four are filled, four are empty. The light looks really nice bouncing off of them. They're sparkling and-
"Yagami."
...The football girl's talking again? Why is she so mad? She sounds really angry. This is because of her boyfriend, right? I was drunk that time and didn't even mean it! Shit, just let it go already! It's been an entire year since... uh… what the hell was his name? The footballer from the USA sports team that I apparently spent a couple of hours harassing? … shit… Bri-… Brandon was it? No, doesn't sound right. I can't remember.
I heard something in my neck grind when I turned to look at Football girl. The closer I look, the weirder it gets. Her voice is pretty deep. It's a little unsettling actually, but she's really pretty. She smells nice too, and her hair looks soft. Her voice sounded angry, but she actually looks kinda nervous. Her voice is shaking just a little. I think it's cute.
"How did you know about Yuki?"
Haha! She's trying to talk all Authori-... Authoritative-like. Are you trying to boss me around? Nobody bosses me around, you know? Only… uh… Kagura and Mature... sometimes… and Vice. But that's for medical so it doesn't count… and... wait, what's a Yuki?
"ORANGE"
What? No! Kusanagi doesn't boss me around! What are you saying, Riot? Shut up! He's my sworn enemy, okay? You're not allowed to be nice to him, and I sure as hell don't-
"YUKI ORANGE GIRL"
...uh… Girl? Oh yeah! Yuki! Kyo's girlfriend. What about her? She's really nice, but once she tried to beat me up with her handbag. I think she keeps rocks in there or something… I wonder if it'd make a good weapon. Like a mace! You can just swing it round and round and round and-
"Were you stalking my Facebook or something? How did you find out?"
Football girl's at it again. Her voice is low, but I'm getting used to it. She's dressed a bit strange too. Most of the other girls are wearing dresses, but she's wearing this weird pants outfit. Like a low-cut suit?… hmm… I'd wear it, but I'll probably tie-dye it first. Then it'll be really shocking! Hehe.
"Hey! Are you listening? Dammit Yagami!"
Mature will be so mad at me! … she loves fashion so I always do my best to ruin it for her. I wonder where she is. And where's Vice? I bet she's arm-wrestling with Terry and the other muscle dudes. I don't know why they even bother trying to beat her. She's crazy strong. I can lift… barely 700 with Riot's help. But she picked up the Mustang once and didn't even break her nails! I'm so jealous… Agh… my throat itches.
"THUNDERBOY"
What do you want Riot? Can't you see I'm busy? I'm… what am I doing again?
"THUNDERBOY ORANGE ANGRY"
Thunderboy? Who's… oh! You mean Benimaru, that broom-headed asshole! Oh yeah! I remember, Kusanagi was really mad about that. He was so mad he broke down my front door and threw my sheet music everywhere! It was really late too! Like 4am… Then he sat on my couch and started yelling about how Nikaido stalking Yuki… haha, jeez. He's so weird when he's drunk.
"KING IS WEIRD. BAD DRINK."
Shut up Riot. Don't tell me what to do. I drink as much as I want… I'm not crazy, okay? You're the crazy one. Oh fuck… dammit, it spilled… why are these cups so small? What kind of idiot makes cups this small?!
I smacked the cup down on the counter. It made a grating noise and I pressed it into the table. I think it cracked a little bit, but honestly it deserved it for spilling vodka on me. I hope the suit will be okay. It's actually pretty comfy. Mature really knows how to shop… Ugh my throat is burning. I'll have another shot. Maybe it'll help…
"NO DRINK."
A sharp pain suddenly sprouted in my hand. Bright purple flames burst out with a loud crackle. The noise scares me. It's like a gunshot. I hear it a lot, but I never quite get used to it. The shot glass begins to glow orange and deform. The rim of the glass flops over and melts on my thumb. It feels warm on my skin and drips on the dark countertop. but… I'm pretty sure I didn't ignite... why-
"BAD DRINK CUP"
Riot! You moron! The hell are you using fire for? Damn! It hurts! The glass is all goopy now and it's getting everywhere! Fuck!... and look! You scared football girl. What are we gonna do now? She's so pretty too, and you're gonna scare her away. Good going asshole!
"THUNDERBOY"
Thun-… Nikaido isn't even here. The only people here are me and the football guy's girlfriend, so what're you on about? Are you obsessed with him or something? You've been talking about him for a while now... Stop it! It's creepy. Turn off the fire right now or I'm putting you on probation.
"NO YOU! THUNDERBOY"
Shut the fuck up. You're cra-... Hahaha! Wait, do you like Benimaru? Are you gay or something? Okay okay, whatever ...Just go to sleep. We're gonna fight in the tournament soon, so if you want me to let you out, you'd better behave. Turn off the fire.
Jeez. Such an annoying guy. Haha, he's being all pissy. I can hear him grumbling in the back of my head. Does he have an unrequited love or something? Can Riot even… hmm... actually this might be a problem... Well I'll deal with it later.
I turn to look at football girl. She's still here. Good. Riot didn't scare her away. She looks really sad, like she's about to cry. Did Riot say something out loud without me noticing? Why is he trying to sabotage me anyways? He never cares about what I do with girls… but she really looks familiar now. Huh… is she a musician? I know I've seen that face before…
"-fuck?"
She was saying something, but I was too busy arguing with Riot… what does she want?
"NO FUCK"
What? She asked to fuck? No way.
"NO! NO! KING, NO FUCK!"
I thought she's together with Brand-... no… Brian? Brian something? Whatever, the football guy! Isn't he her boyfriend? Is she trying to cheat on him? I thought she was mad because I was messing with him last year! Why does she wanna-
"What are you talking about! Just answer the question, Yagami! Good God!"
Oh… wow she's really… well then, Sure! Seems a bit abrupt, but she's nice enough and she's cute... I'm down. Besides, it's not like I've got anyone else to spend the night with. I kinda want to get away from Vice and Mature. Even though I booked them in a hotel on the other side of Manhattan, they still managed to show up in my hotel room at 6AM yesterday! They dragged me around and made me carry their shopping bags for five straight hours. It was awful. I know they're gonna try to do it again if they know where I slept that ni-
"NO NO NO."
Shit Riot! Why're you trying to cockblock me? Just go to sleep and leave me alone.
"KING STUPID. STOP. THUNDERBOY!"
Say whatever you want. I'm getting laid tonight so fuck off.
TMW your life is so cringe, even the voice in your head can't take it.
Riot is the bae-ist
Kyo next chapter lel.
FD's stands for F-aggot's D-elight. They refer to crazy options that have short expiration dates. For example, if $ABC has been bouncing around 250-270 recently, purchasing a call option with a strike price of 350 and a short time horizon will be pretty cheap b/c the probability of that happening will be really low. (Recall that the price of the stock needs to reach the strike price before you make any money). So people buy these options sorta expecting to lose. It's kind of like a lottery ticket. However, just like the lottery, occasionally you get lucky and make big gains. But generally it's not a good idea. Generally only ppl addicted to gambling buy FDs.
The name comes from the fact you usually lose when you're holding FD's. So, "The only reason you'd buy this option is if you love getting fked by the market." Hence the name, 'Faggot's Delight'. This isn't really an official term ofc lol. I saw it on some subreddit when trying to figure out how best to lose money.