Rowan was no hero. Regardless of what anyone believed he knew the truth, he simply did what was needed when someone had to.
Each time he had faced peril for those he loved the experience never left him. The scars did not show on the outside but when Rowan slept he would fight the mountain berry trees and the Zebak, he would run from giant spiders and ice creepers, he would face the dragon and the great sea serpent. He would close his eyes only to see strong John fast asleep as the mountain berry trees prepared to feast, Annad being snatched up by the warrior gratch, and his mother dying as the poison named death sleep slowly took her from him. The fear would not leave him, it seemed only to grow.
It had been years since Rowan had climbed the mountain a second time and he was a growing boy of sixteen. Thankfully the village had not been in danger since then, and he had been allowed to stay with his beloved animals, for guiding the bukshah up the mountain each winter and assuring they reached their destination was not a job for a child, he would continue to herd them until he was too old to make the journey with them each year.
Rowan was tending the bukshah one afternoon, enjoying the tranquil simplicity of the beasts when he heard someone approach. "Ho Rowan!" Strong John called out in greeting.
Rowan looked up at him and smiled an empty smile. "Hello strong John," he replied politely. "What brings you to the bukshah fields today?" The young man asked his guest.
"I have finished my work in the orchard for today and wondered if you would like the company." Rowan was not sure what to think of strong John, everyone had been sure he and Jiller would be married by now, but they were not. After they had returned from the mountain strong John and his mother had certainly grown closer, but neither had admitted any feelings for the other.
"Do you dream of the mountain?" Rowan asked the older man, his eyes on Dawn, the bukshah who's mane he was caressing.
"I do," the broad man replied. "Is that why you cry out at night? Because in your mind you are still there, facing each terror over and over?" Strong John asked and Rowan shuddered.
"Not always," he replied, still not looking at his visitor. "So much has happened since then, so many dangers..." His voice trailed off.
"All of which a boy your age should not have had to face." Strong John added, stepping forward to place his hand on Rowan's shoulder in comfort. "But all that is over now Rowan, and Rin is safe."
Oh how Rowan wanted to throw himself into those strong arms seeking the comfort he had been shown in the past, but such things would not be appropriate and he would only humiliate himself.
"May I asked you something John?" The boy asked, turning to face the older man.
"Ask away Rowan, I will answer as best I can." Strong John assured him, his hand no longer touching Rowan and he missed it already.
"What happened between you and my mother?" Rowan asked and strong John looked taken back, clearly he was not expecting this question. "The whole village was sure you two would marry in time but neither of you seems to hold interest in the other. You did not even bat an eye when she started seeing Timon the teacher."
Strong John swallowed thickly. "Bronden made an assumption about my feelings for Jiller, but she was wrong. I never saw your mother as more than a friend." The older man explained.
"But..." Rowan began in confusion, not sure what he intended to say.
John continued before the younger man could. "It would have made no use for me to challenge Bronden's accusation. I would have needed to provide proof that she was wrong and I did not wish to reveal my true desires and even if I had many would have believed me to be lying." Strong John explained. "At the time I was embarrassed at the thought of revealing the truth and your mother was embarrassed because she believed Bronden but did not return the feelings she thought I had."
They fell into silence for a few moments before Rowan asked. "What are your true desires? If you don't mind," the boy added, not wanting to push him too far.
John hesitated. "I have no interest in women, I am not ashamed of my desires but I would rather they not become public knowledge."
Rowan did not know what to think, he just stared at strong John in shock. The strongest man in the village, someone who fit in with the rest and was not an outcast, and he was one of them? Rowan had heard of people who were not interested in normal relationships, but instead preferred to take to bed with those of the same gender. He knew people like that existed but they were few and far between. They usually kept to themselves and did not fit in with the other people of Rin.
Noticing Rowan's silence John went on. "I have known since I was a boy that I was different and when I discovered why I told very few people. I felt an outcast, as though I did not belong in Rin and sought to prove myself wrong. It was then that I earned the title strong John by proving myself stronger than all the adults of Rin." Rowan looked silently at strong John and listened intently to his tale. In Rowan's mind everyone in Rin fit in but him, it was interesting to hear of other's insecurities. "I accepted long ago that I will never marry for there are so few like me and my chances of meeting a man my age who desires me as I desire him and is the kind of man I could fall in love with is very slim. But I am not alone, I have friends who are like family to me and I spend my time in the orchard, amongst the hoopberry trees for they will never judge me."
Rowan could not help but compare John and his trees to himself and his bukshah. For reasons of his own Rowan did not fit in amongst the rest of the villagers and he took solace amongst the kind gentle beasts who accepted him no matter how strong or brave he was.
Without thinking Rowan threw himself into the older man's arms. "I would never judge you John," he said into the firm toned chest in which his face was buried. "You are a great fighter and a hero of Rin, regardless of who's bed you choose to spend the night in."
Strong John hugged him back and Rowan sunk into the strong warm embrace he had craved since that first night on the mountain.
~SophieAngel69