Zuko had settled into a routine of attending rehearsals and coming home to practice. Now that they were a month and a half in, he was at the dance studio at least twice a week. That meant Katara was also there more often and he couldn't be more nervous and excited about that fact.
He vividly remembered the day he'd driven her home after her car broke down. She'd seemed down and he'd gone back and forth about whether or not he should ask how she was. At the end of it all, he chose to just say something, anything, and see what happened. She hadn't offered much about what was bothering her, but she seemed pleased that he voiced his concern. Her response to his text later that night confirmed that.
And speaking of texts, the way she'd asked for his number still brought a smile to his face. They probably should have already exchanged information based on how closely they were working together but he liked how covertly bold she was. It made him feel wanted… even needed.
If she'd only known how delighted he was to have her ask and just to have her in his car that night.
But he knew he had to maintain his focus. Maybe after all of this was over, he could ask her out properly. For now, he would just settle for her presence in the studio and the way her smile lit up the room. If that's all he got for the time being, that was fine with him.
He'd been lost in his own thoughts when a loud knock sounded at his door. He peered through the peephole and instantly his eyes narrowed and his entire body tensed. What was she doing here?
He hesitated. Maybe he shouldn't do this. It would be easy to pretend he wasn't home. She would probably get pissed and deface his property but at least he wouldn't have to hear her droning voice.
But that was such a cowardly move. It was time he faced her. Maybe he could even get the closure he needed.
He pulled open the door and the scowl on his face couldn't have been any deeper.
"Mai, how did you find this address?" His voice was dangerously quiet and she rolled her eyes as she sighed loudly. Her long black ponytail swayed in time with her head movement and he grimaced. He had seen that motion too many times and it brought back painful memories.
"Nice to see you too, Zuko." She tapped the cardboard box she was holding. "Are you going to let me in?"
"No, actually. I'm not. Now answer me. How did you find me and why are you here?"
"Your address is considered a part of the public record, genius. If you want to stay hidden, then try a little harder next time," she replied dryly. "And, I'm dropping off some of the crap you left at my old apartment. I have one more box so let me bring this one in and then I'll go get the other one."
He stood still, motioning for her to give it to him. "Just hand them over."
She glared at him, then suddenly snapped, "Oh, my God. Move!" She pushed past him and walked through the doorway. He shook his head, simmering. He almost couldn't believe she was still acting like this.
He wasn't about to put his hands on her so he decided to let her have this moment. But it would most certainly be the last time she got away with this kind of behavior. She sauntered in and proceeded to drop the box on the floor. He cringed and then balled his fists at his sides.
"Really?! This is my house, Mai. You can't just do what you want all the time. You have to consider how your actions affect others!"
"Chill with all the drama, Zuko. I was kind enough to bring your stuff, wasn't I? Don't be an ass."
He threw his hands up in frustration. "What is your problem? You don't even need to be in here! Just get the other box and go. In fact, you can keep it. Just leave!"
Mai ignored him as she walked around his home, checking out the living room, dining room, and kitchen.
"Nice place. Nicer than the one you had when we were together."
Zuko shook his head. There was no point continuing to ask her to go. She never listened to him anyway...why would she start now?
"Why are you really here?" he asked tiredly.
She turned then and walked toward him.
"I wanted to see you."
"Why?"
"Why do you think? Because I missed you."
Zuko snorted in disbelief. "Yeah, right."
She came closer to him, sliding her fingers along the collar of his shirt and he leaned away. "You don't miss me?"
"No. I tend to not want to be around people who lie to me and try to hurt me on purpose."
"I didn't have a choice."
"There is always a choice."
He glared down at her as she continued to infringe on his personal space.
"Look, I made some mistakes but I've moved on. It's been six months, Zuko. Isn't that enough time for you to forgive me?"
Zuko gently grasped her wrists and removed her hands from his shirt.
"It doesn't really matter, because the bottom line is, I don't trust you. I will never trust you again."
Surprisingly, she had the nerve to look appalled but it didn't faze him. "Mai, it's over. We will never be together. I suggest you go find someone else to screw around with and leave me alone."
She searched his eyes and for one terrifying moment Zuko thought she might work up some fake tears. Instead her eyebrows drew together.
"You've met someone else. You've got a new little toy to play with, don't you?"
Zuko's jaw clenched and anger flashed in his eyes. She had no right to talk to him that way. And even though what he had with Katara was still growing and evolving, he refused to let Mai say anything remotely disrespectful about her.
"How dare you! You think you can do and say whatever you want to me but you can't. Not anymore! Now, get the hell out of my house!" The malice in his tone surprised even him and Mai raised an eyebrow.
"Wow, you finally sound like a real man. This girl must be something special if she has you acting this way. Alright, fine. I'll go."
To Zuko's relief, she actually started walking toward the door.
"Either leave the other box on the porch or throw it away. I don't care," he spat out.
"Zuko, there is no other box." She smirked and he felt anger starting to overtake him. Of course it had just been a tactic so she could get inside. Why did he always let her do this to him?
He gripped the door handle as she paused to look at him. "You know, I never meant to hurt you. It was out of my control." She actually sounded like she meant what she was saying and Zuko almost laughed out loud.
"What did you think would happen? That I'd find out the whole story and be okay with it? You knew what you were doing from the start. You knew what it would do to me and you did it anyway."
"I really did love you." Her tone had softened and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Please don't do this."
"I know you loved me, too." She was standing too close to him again. The familiar scent of vanilla on her skin made his stomach turn.
"So? You think a few good months makes up for all the damage?" His anger had shifted to something deeper and more bitter. He didn't care for it.
"No. But it's a start." She squeezed his arm and he gripped the knob even harder. "We could try again."
He looked into her eyes and tried to figure out what he was seeing. He couldn't tell if she was being honest or manipulating him. And that was the problem.
"I did care for you once," he began. "And I'm sure I would have called it love, though I seriously doubt I even know what love is supposed to look like." He looked away briefly before returning his gaze to hers. "All I know is what we had was not...good. Our relationship was based on lies and I can't trust it. I can't trust us."
With that, he pulled open the door, speaking the next words as calmly as he could. "So, goodbye, Mai. Please leave."
For a split second he saw in her eyes the same thing he usually saw in his own through the mirror; pain. Then, just like that, her expression hardened and she shifted back into her normal persona.
"Fine." she quipped. She shrugged as she walked through the door. "Can't say I didn't try. Have a nice life, Zuko." She threw up her hand in a dismissive wave and it took all of his strength not to scream.
As soon as she was across the threshold, he slammed the door and locked it. Then he picked up the box she'd dropped and brought it to the living room. Nothing but junk. He tossed it next to the trash can and plopped down on the sofa. Seeing her always took him to a dark, brooding place. And even when he tried to be honest with her, she ran from it. She was always running from her feelings like a scared child. It was maddening and irritating and it was something he wouldn't tolerate in his life anymore.
He growled in frustration as he grabbed two fistfuls of hair. Why had he ever dated her in the first place? How lonely and lost was he that she seemed like a good person to be with?
He would need to do one last check of all of his things to make sure he had no trace of her left in his home and in his life. Then maybe he could finally feel free of her.
His mind drifted to Katara. How could he tell her about Mai without running her off? He wanted to run away from himself at this point. He shook his head.
No, don't let her do this again. She's not even here and you're letting her control you.
His inner voice was right, but seeing her just now was like a slap in the face. He didn't need a reminder of that mistake.
He paced in his living room, taking in and releasing deep breaths to try to calm down. It was barely working.
In times like this, he would play piano or meditate. But today he needed a more physical outlet for his emotions. He quickly disappeared into his room. After a quick change of clothing, he found himself standing in the garage. The bright red punching bag hung there, listless and waiting. He slipped on his red leather boxing gloves trimmed in gold, took up his stance, and then went to work. Hooks, jabs, uppercuts, roundhouse kicks...he gave it his all. Nearly every ounce of anger in him was symbolically transferred out of his limbs and into the bag.
After several minutes of nonstop activity, he paused, panting and sweating. He leaned against the bag as it swayed lazily and closed his eyes. He was still upset but he felt better.
Now, instead of memories of Mai along with their fights and empty promises and cold touches, he saw something more beautiful. Images of crystal blue eyes, warm smiles, fingertips tenderly brushing his skin, and flowing chocolate locks flooded his mind. He smiled. Those were the kinds of memories he wanted.
And whether he and Katara ended up being friends or something more, he would fight to maintain her presence in his life.