WARNING! LEMON! SMUT! SEX! SEX! SEX! & MORE SEX!

What I'm trying to say is, this chapter is RATED M! So, if you don't like it, Skip that part! when you see, _-_-_ that means SMUT! :D
Also,

(BOLD) text means, 'present' This chapter will jump a few times from past to present, So just keep that in mind! :D

PRESENT

"Okay... I don't get it?" Cory said looking at me confused.

I sat on the couch wrapped in my wool blanket, coco in my coffee mug. I had been telling Cory about Sam and I, about our friendship that meant more to me then I ever wanted or meant for it to be.

"It didn't stay like that between us," I shook my head looking away from Cory's eyes. "The bound between us began to pull apart. Little by little till there was nothing holding us together but my- my need to be with him."

"But what started that pull?"

I looked into the fire place, still feeling that reel of emotion like it was yesterday, tears glisten in my eyes "Well..."

---

"Are you serious?" I asked standing in front of Paul, my face was red with anger. "I'm sorry- it just came up." I bit the inside of my cheek to keep me from saying anything I knew I would regret. "Alright, maybe next time." He frowned and looked down, "I am really sorry."

I gave a small smile, "It's not your fault." And it wasn't, how was he going to know that he would be needed in a research study across town the same day I needed him for my photo-shoot.

"I can ask one of the guys…" He trailed off, knowing that I'd say no. I shook my head, "It's fine, I'll find someone." He nodded, "why don't you ask Sam?" My eyes widened in surprised that he would say my best friends name. "Sam?" He gave me a small smile, "Yeah, Sam-" He looked behind me and frowned, "I got to go, sorry again." He took off running before I had a chance to say anything.

Ask Sam?

Before I even knew it I was running towards the Law buildings, praying I caught him before his next class -I glanced at my watched- that started in twenty minutes.

When I spotted him my smile grew, "SAM!" he paused hearing his name called, a smile graced his faces when he saw me.

He took off in my direction, "Rae, what are you doing here?" Out of breath I panted, "I-" I blew a long breath of air out of my lungs. "Wow, I hate running" I said, still slightly exhausted. Sam shook his head and laughed, "Yeah, no kidding."

"I need a favor." I bit my lip nervously, wondering how much begging it would take for him to agree. He cocked his eyebrow, "This sounds dangerous."

"Hey!" I pushed arm, not trying to hide the smile that was on my face. "I'll have you know, It's not dangerous at all." He laughed saying, "I'll believe it when I hear what you want."

I was quiet for a moment, wondering how to ask him. "This must be serious," He said. "Your doing the whole, wont look me in the eyes thing. Along with twirling your ring. Spill Rae."

"I need you to model for me…" I mumbled looking down. A short laugh escaped his lips. "Did I just hear you say, 'model for me?" I looked up at him with a glare, "Yes, Paul backed out, something about a study project or something-"

"And you thought of me?"

"I thought about my best friend who is always there to help me. Because that's who he is, an amazing guy with great morals, who is devilishly handsome-"

"You're laying it on a little thick there don't you think?" He said, a slight smile on his face, showing off his amazing dimples. I smiled at him, "I'm only telling the truth."

He sighed, running his hand threw his hair. "Okay, I'm in-" Before he said more I had my arms around his neck and my head on his chest. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I stood up on my tips of toes and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "Five O'clock at the art departments studio." I said, moving away from him before he could change his mind.

----

"Sam, over here!" I shouted as soon as I seen him lingering in the doorway. He gave me a sheepish smile, with his body slouched I could tell he was uncomfortable doing this. As selfish as it seemed, I felt… grateful, but more so, happy, that he would be doing this for me even though it wasn't something he wanted to do.

He walked over towards me slowly, glancing around the room. "Hey Rae," He said when he stood in front of me. I smiled brightly, "Sam, this Is Jessica, You'll be modeling with her today. Jess, This is Sam."

They gave each other sheepish smiles and hellos, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. They would have to get better chemistry then that if they were going to be playing lovers all day.

-----

Eight months later

Her back hit her dresser with a hard thud, sending the items scattering to the floor. At the sound of glass shattering they pulled apart, her lips hesitantly left his as she glanced down at the broken picture frame.

"Should I?" His voice was husky, rough. Her eyes snapped to his. "Leave it-" Her lips were back on his kissing him with a passion she had never known before. She could feel his hands gripping her hips as he lifted her away from the wobbly dresser and broken glass.

Her legs wrapped around him instinctively, needing, wanting to be closer to him. She knew where the night was going to take them.

Her only short lived worry was what the morning might bring.

Earlier That night.

"Happy birthday!" The crowed screamed as soon as I walked into the small pub near campus. My eyes filled with tears at the sight of all my friends. "Guys…" I wasn't expecting to see them all here. Maybe, one or two… I shook my head laughing. When Sam told me to meet him here tonight…I gave another laughing scanning the crowned for Sam, who really out did himself tonight.

---

"Hey, you okay?" Christy asked me as she sat on the stool next to mine. I glanced from the clock to her, "Yeah…" My eyes drifted back to the clock. The party had been going on for three hours now and there had been no sign of my best friend. "Just-" "Waiting for Sam?" Christy said sadly, her voice soft. I looked over to her and gave a small smile. "That obvious huh?" She gave me a smile, "I'm sure he'll show up. He wouldn't forget your birthday." "I know," And that's why I had a horrible feeling in my gut.

---

"Hey. If anyone ask I'll be right back." Christy looked up frowning, "He still hasn't showed?" I shook my head. "No.. It's-It's not like him.." She nodded her head looking thoughtful. "I get it, I'll cover for you." I gave her a smile, before taking off out the door.

---

I walked towards his dorm, every step gathering speed. I hoped that when I got there his roommate would know where he was, or where he had gone. I had tried calling a dozen of times, with each unanswered ring the hole in my gut grew bigger, darker. It wasn't like him not to pick up.

I didn't wait for an answer after I knocked, I just walked in like I always did. As soon as the door opened wide, I stopped thinking, breathing, feeling.

"Sam?" His name left my mouth before I had time to register what I was seeing. "Jesus Rae" He said getting off his bed pulling on a pair of boxers. I saw behind him Jessica quickly cover herself up with his blanket.

I looked away feeling sick. "Sorry I," I blinked back my emotions. There were too many going swirling around in my head and heart to feel any one thing. Disgust, Hate, Anger, Sadness, Shock, Betrayal, Hurt. "I should go." I didn't wait for an response I just shut the door quickly before taking off down the stairs.

----

I found myself alone, sitting on a bench just outside his dorms. I didn't know why I had stopped walking, I didn't know anything at this moment. It was as if my mind was racing with so many thoughts and feelings, that- that I couldn't tell what I was doing or feeling, like my mind was blank.

I felt a jacket cover my shoulders, I looked up and saw Sam standing there with a frown on his face. "You blew me off Sam." I said softly, bitterly.

"It wasn't like that."

"Then please explain to me what it was like? Cause from where I'm standing it seems like you blew off my birthday party"

"I was with Jess and we were studying and we-" He looked away before turning back, "I'm sorry we didn't make it, we really wanted to come."

"I don't give a damn about 'we' Sam. I care about you, my best friend. I care that YOU weren't there." I got up from the bench, not feeling the need to sit any longer.

"I told you-"

"That you were with Jess. Yeah, I got it," I shook off his jacket and handed it to him before saying, "I can't do this Sam."

"Do what?" He looked at me, desperately trying to figure out what I was saying. I knew I had to tell him, I knew that if I didn't tell him now I would always back out. I would always be the second one in his life. And I couldn't handle that when it comes to this, to him, not now, not ever.

"This pretending that all you are is my best friend-"

"Aur-"

"No, let me finish please." I waited a moment before sitting on the curb, needing the support I knew I wouldn't have by standing. He followed behind, sitting next to me. His leg resting against mine, which did nothing but increase my heart rate.

"I've been in love with you for a long time Sam. And I can't keep playing second fiddle to this relationship you have with Jess." I took an another deep breath, biting my lip for support before turning to look into his eyes. The eyes I have grown to love in the past year. "Sam, It's me or her. You can't have both."I didn't know what he would say to me. I hoped for a lovers embraces, I prayed for the knowledge that he felt the same for me.

"Your kidding right?" His voice was harder then I had ever heard it. It made my stomach uneasy, I shook my head. "No Sam, I'm not."He stood up from the curb. "How can you ask me that?" He looked at me, anger and hurt in his eyes. "You know how much she means too me."

"Sam I-"

"No, you don't get it. She's the one thing that made my life here worth everything I gave up. Can't you see that? She's my home. She's the first thing I have ever had that made everything okay."

I felt as if he had punched me with every words that left his mouth. He felt it too, if the look on his face said anything. It was a look that I grown all to familiar with, a look of his regret. Only this time, I didn't think I could brush it off.

"I didn't-" Standing up I cut him off, "You did" My voice shook as tears ran free from my eyes. "You meant every word of it Sam, and its too late to take it back. It's already been said, already been heard. And that makes me scared, cause, you know, I spent the better part of this year in love with you and obsessing over this friendship , not wanting to do any damage to what we did have. Now after all this time I find out it wasn't even that great to start with. I was just your place holder till you found Jess."

He took a step towards me tears in his eyes, I stepped back not wanting him close to me. "Don't Sam." I laughed without humor, pointing my shaky finger at him. "You did enough damage already."

"Rae, please-"

"No. I just-" I shook my head, tears running down my face. "I need to be alone." I turned around not wanting to see him, "Don't come after me Sam."

----

I took a deep shaky breath before turning back to Cory, "So he's the one that got away." he muttered to himself more then to me, "Why did you tell him not to follow you?"

I looked into my best friends eyes and said the only thing I could, the truth. "Cause' I was scared that he wouldn't follow me. If I left with out saying anything and he didn't come after me-" I shook my head, "I couldn't stand that rejection-"

"So by saying 'don't follow me' you were saving yourself from knowing if he would or not."

"I knew he wouldn't if I told him not too." I whispered softly, brushing away the stray tears that began to fall down my face.

I heard Cory sigh, "I think I need a drink," I laughed with out humor, "You need a drink?"

We were silent for a moment, "So did you see him again that night?" I looked over, "I-" My chest fell, "God, I feel like an idiot." looking up at Cory I told him, "You might want to get those drinks ready."

----

I walked around for hours. Going back to my party seemed like a horrible idea, but getting a drink seemed like, well, like a good one. Before I knew it I was walking to one of the many bar's near the campus, a local dive that seen better days.

My mind was still blank as I walked threw the doors, but I instantly realized that I was overdressed. I had on my 'birthday' dress. I laughed inwardly, remembering picking it out earlier that day thinking that Sam would like it, that he would notice it.

It hung three inches above my knee, it was black and perfect. It showed my curves I did have, while not being sluttish.

I don't think he noticed it.

I looked up at the bar tender, "Wild turkey, double. And a Heineken on the side." He raised he eyebrow, "You got ID?" With out a care I pulled my drivers licenses out of my bra -making sure I didn't flash anyone- handing it too the bartender. He smirked, "Happy Birthday," I looked away, "Thanks." Obviously realizing that my birthday wasn't going the way I wanted he went and got me my whiskey.

It seemed as soon as the shot glass hit the bar top I was taking the shot, with the chaser of the other shot. "Keep 'em coming" I said. The bar tender laughed, "Coming right up,"

"You sure you can handle all that?" I looked over and noticed a man -who I was pretty sure, Wasn't there before- sitting beside me. "I'm about to find out." I said with a smile.

He shook his head clearly amused, "I'm Alex." I raised my eyebrow, "I'm not interested." and I wasn't.

Then.

_-_-_SMUT-_-_-_-

We had barely made it to my apartment, let alone my bedroom. As he walked us backwards into my bedroom, pushing me up against the wall, his rough hands slid up my bare thigh propping me up. The higher his hand got the wetter I became.

His lips along my collarbone sent chills from my toes to my head, a small moan was heard. I wasn't sure who's came from, "Bedroom," I managed to say before my lips were on his, rough and hungry for his taste.

Even as I heard his foot kick up my bedroom door, I didn't care. I didn't worry about the security on the apartment. If anything, it made me want him more.

"Fuck. Me." I panted into his ear, feeling his erection against my body. My arms wrapped around his neck, my body arching into his

"Sweetheart, you keep that up and I wont guarantee we make it to the bed-" I didn't let him finish before my lips were on his once again, My hands griped the hem of his shirt pulling it over his head, stealing heated kisses in between the panting of our breaths.

Even as I heard his foot kick up my bedroom door, I didn't care. I didn't worry about the security on the apartment. If anything, it made me want him more.

My back hit the dresser with a loud thud, it didn't cause us to slow down.

His hands slid to my hips, I gazed into his lust filled eyes knowing that mine mirrored his.

He lifted me up, setting me on the dresser. His hands caressing my naked leg before going to the hem of my dress, my arms lifted up automatically. My dress hit the floor only seconds later, "God, your beautiful" he said before his lips were on mine.

I froze for a moment, my mind racing. I knew this was wrong, I knew in the back of my mind that there was a part of me pretending that it was Sam who's my legs were wrapped around, who had just called me beautiful. I knew it was wrong, but I pushed forward, wanting, needing to be wanted and needed.

I kissed his neck, gently sucking at his pulse point before whispering into his ear, "I. Want. You-" I gently tugged his ear lobe with my teeth, "In. Me. Now."

"God," He said feeling my hands scratch down his chest before stopping at the top of his pants, "These. Off." I mumbled into his mouth. My hand moved over the bulge in his jeans, causing a moan to escaped his mouth. As my fingers began to undo the top button before grabbing the zipper and pulling it down, his jeans fell to his ankles.

Somehow my elbow connected with something on my dresser sending items scattering to the floor. At the sound of glass shattering my lips hesitantly left his, we pulled apart, I glanced down at the broken picture frame.

Sam.

"Should I?" His voice was husky, rough. My eyes snapped to his. "Leave it-" My lips were back on his kissing him with a passion and hunger I had never known before.

I was running from that name, from his thought. I could feel his hands gripping my hips as he lifted me away from the wobbly dresser and broken glass. My legs wrapped around him instinctively, needing, wanting to be closer to him. I knew where the night was going to take us.

I just couldn't worry about what the morning would bring.

He laid me on the bed gently, more so then I wanted. The coldness of my un-slept in bed against the warmth of my heated body was an amazing feeling.

With him on top of me, in nothing but boxers I could feel his erection against the wetness of my panties, I added friction by grinding myself into him, I could see him biting back a moan. I looked at his face, in his lust filled eyes. I caught my breath seeing Sam in his eyes. Closing my eyes I brought my face to the curve of his laying soft kisses, trying to rid myself of the tears that felt like making an appearance.

His hands traveled down my body slowly, softly, as if he was studying me, learning every inch of my body. He was playing my body like an instrument, one that only he knew how to play. His hands tugged at my panties, lifting my hips he was able to slide them off. He kissed the corner of my mouth be he started to nuzzle my neck, sending soft butterfly kisses along my skin as his arm wrapped around me, pulling me away from the bed, his other hand unclasped my bra leaving me completely bare.

His hand began to knead my breast, his lips sucking on my neck. My breathing became more erratic, my body began to tremble with awareness.

I pulled his boxers as far down as I could get them. I gently brushed my fingers over his member, I felt it twitch under my hand. I bit into his shoulders before breathing into his ear, "Fuck Me. Now."

I knew he was trying to go slow, to pleasure me. Which is what most girls wanted, but- I didn't- Couldn't- handle being with him like that. His arm moved around my mind section, flipping me over until my stomach was on the now warm sheets and I was in kneeling position, his hand caressed my stomach, his thumb finding my clit. I was whimper escaped my mouth, "I need you wetter sweetheart," I shut my eyes feeling his thumb moving in circular motions.

His other hand roamed my exposed back, his left soft kisses where his hands left there hidden trail before moving around to my front side, I felt him slip his finger inside of me. One, then two. Our heavy breathing was the only thing you could hear in the room, my body moving in rhythm to his movements.

"That's a good girl" He whispered as his fingers left me. My eyes opened at the sudden loss of him, only to close as the sudden thrust of him inside of me. I screamed out, my body responding immediately, my walls closing in around him, my head tilted back a moan leaving my parted mouth."God, your tight" He panted into my ear, causing me to shiver. "Harder." I gaped, moving my hips into his thrust. He pushed me down further into the mattress, my back pressed against his chest.

As his thrust became quicker and deeper, my body trembling from the force. "Don't stop." I panted, "don't ever fucking stop" He chuckled breathlessly in my ear, "I wound't think of it" I felt my body began to build up, readying itself for the explosion of energy, the release of myself. "Yes, yes, yes…" moaning, clenching the blanket under my hands, "faster, please, god, please, fas-st-ter" I stuttered.

After what seemed like forever, my body finally gave into it's release. Sobbing one finally faster, my body began to spasm around him as I came. As if waiting for me, he came only seconds later.

We fell to the bed, sweat glisten our skin, our breaths hitched and staggered. "Wow." He said rolling over, draping his arm around me. "That was amazing." I shut my eyes, feeling nauseas I wiggled out under his arm, "I'm getting some water, you want anything?" I asked, taking the blanket wrapping it around my body, suddenly self conscious. He frowned at me, "No, I'm good."

By the time I returned he was already asleep, I got into bed next to him, shortly following him into a deep slumber.

-_-_-_-END SMUT-_-_-_

The next morning I woke up hunger over and sore. Every part of my body screaming in protest to moving. Eyes snapping opening I remember the night before, sitting up I looked around my empty room.

My empty room.

He was gone.

I fell back in bed feeling sick to my stomach. Not that I had wanted him here when I woke up. Just- Now, with out a alchol fog in my mind I realized that he shouldn't have been here at all.

I moved out of bed. "FUCK!" I cried, lifting my foot up, Blood dripped out of it. Glass. My eyes snapped to the dresser and floor around it. "It's gone." The picture frame, the glass -except the one I stepped on- was all gone.

"He cleaned up." I limped over to the garbage can where everything that was broken now rested, everything else on the dresser top.

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed, "I FUCKING HATE YOU!" in a swift motion I knocked everything off my dresser once again.

Crying I fell to the floor, unsure of who I was yelling at. Sam? Me? Alex?

All of the above.

---

"So you had the best sex of your life and never heard from him again?" I sighed, "Cory. that's-That's what you get out of that?" I laughed feeling drunk. "I fucked a stranger." He rolled his eyes at me, "Get over it. Your allowed to have fun" I smiled standing up, "You right!"

"I am?" he asked, eyeing me suspiciously. "You are." I walked over to him giving him a kiss. "And he needs to know it!"

"Um."

"I mean who does he think he is?" I slipped on my slippers.

"Um"

"He was dead-" I hiccuped, "I aint talking metaphorically ether. He blew up!"

"Um"

"Now he shows up!! Now?!" I shook my head walking over to my purse, grabbing. "Well, he has another thing coming!"

"Um"

"Who does he think he is coming back from the dead like that?!" I frowned at my statement before stammering on. "Screw him! He needs to know that I'm over him! That I was over him with, erm… erm-"

"Alex?"

I snapped my fingers, smiling. "Yeah, yeah! Alex!"

"Um." I gave Cory a kiss on the cheek, "I'll be back later!"

"Where do you think your going?"

"to the motel?!" duh…

"Why?"

"That's where he is isn't it? I mean, unless he's just passing threw?" I shook my head, "No he's there!"

"And what are you going to do if he is there?"

"Tell him off!" Cory looked at me disbelieving, "Come on'"

"I'm serious!" I said walking out the door,

"Well, you can't drive!" he called out as I shut the door, not letting him catch up with me.

-----

The town was small, only having one motel for the nearest thirty miles. Put in the fact that it was slightly scummy, and no one ever stayed there, I figured the one with the light on and the car parked in front of it was where he was. I paused at the car, it looked slightly familiar too.

I marched up to the door, not caring about the time I pounded on it. "Open up ass hole!" I yelled, not trying to keep calm. I heard movement from inside, "I KNOW YOUR IN THERE WINCHESTER!"

The door flew open, I paused looking up at the face. My stomach dropped, suddenly realizing that this might not have been one of my better ideas.

I felt sick.

I blinked slowly at the man in front of me. "Dean, who-" I looked behind the man too see Sam. He stopped talking as soon as he saw me, "Aurelia?" his voice was low, confused.

"I'm going to be sick!" I said, before throwing up on the man that was standing in front of me. The man, who I knew by Alex.

Okay, Okay, Tell me. Who saw that coming? *raises hand!* hehe. *looks around guiltily* I had to toss in a little twist in there. Don't worry, everything will be explained! :D

btw, I do not under ANY circumstance condone drunk driving!

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