Torturing Fun with Itachi

By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja

AN: Sorry about the wait. I just couldn't work up the energy to write. But now I Present the one and only . . .

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111

"Itachi Uchiha!" Itachi walks onto the stage to the sounds of applause cheers. "Hello and Welcome to another exciting episode of Torturing Fun with Itachi. On this week's show, we have a very special guest, but first I would like to introduce two special guest torturers. First welcome back Uzumaki Naruto, and second a very experienced man in this line of work Ibiki Morino." Naruto walks out still wearing his orange tuxedo, while Ibiki walks out in his usual trenchcoat outfit.

"Welcome to the show guys. Naruto it's good to have you back and Ibiki it is an honor to have you here."Itachi says with the usual cheesy game show host grin. "It's good to be back Itachi-kun.""It is a pleasure to be here Itachi-san. So who are we torturing today?"

"Well I'm glad you asked that. Today our guest is someone I have worked closely with the past few years, my Akatsuki partner Kisame Hoshigake. "The audience boos as Kisame is wheeled out and dumped in the Torture ChairTM. He is unconscious and drooling." Uh isn't he supposed to be awake when we torture him?" Naruto asked. Itachi then sighs and screams,"RYUUUUUUUUU!" "Uh boss, Ryu's still in the mental hospital from when you used Tsukiyomi on him last week." WM the cameraman said nervously. "Well then who caught Kisame then?" "I did sir. I used a tranquilizer gun to catch him." Itachi just sighed and walked up to Kisame's ear and whispered." Kisame. WAKE UP!" Kisame jumps with a jolt. "Itachi what's going on? Where am I? And why is the Kyuubi Brat with you?" He asked.

"Well Kisame it's really quite simple. You are the next contestant on my show." Itachi said with a grin." Now before we use Tsukiyomi let's let our guest torturers show their stuff. "Naruto you can go first." Ibiki said. "Thank you Ibiki. Now let's see. how shall I begin. Oh, I know." He then pulls out a stereo and sets it on the ground." Oh and you guys and the audience might want to put these on." He pulls out a set of earplugs and puts them in his ears. Itachi, Ibiki and the audience all do the same. Naruto then presses play on the stereo and suddenly Britney Spears' song Hit me Baby one more time blasts out of the radio. Now to keep the T rating I cannot put down the lyrics to this song.

Afterwards

Kisame's ears are bleeding and he is crying. "Well I'm impressed Naruto-kun." Itachi and Ibiki were both sweatdropping at the sight. "Well Ibiki think you can top that?" "I can sure try." Ibiki said and disappeared. Kisame is then hoisted upside down into the air. "Hoshigake Kisame. Did you know that when flesh is being burnt that the first thing you will feel is cold and smell burning meat. In your case I guess that's fish. Well let's begin shall we." Ibiki then lights a blowtorch and walks behind Kisame. Kisame then feels something cold on his back and smells grilled salmon. He screams and feels another spot begin to feel cold. He yells, "Stop please stop."He is then let down from the air and put back down 

in the Torture ChairTM. He looks and sees Ibiki With a popsicle and a salmon on a table. "You are not a nice person." Kisame says (AN: I don't own that brilliant piece of torture. That belongs to the creator of the Punisher movie.) Kisame then relaxes thinking it's over.

"Not so fast Kisame. We still have my torture do we not." Itachi says." I have one word for you. Tsukiyomi."

11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

"For the next 72 hours you shall be tortured with your worst fear."

Kisame is then swimming in the ocean peacefully. He thinks' Itachi thinks this is my worst fear ha.' He then looks and sees a juicy steak and swims toward it and bites it. He then realizes there's a hook in the steak and feels a sharp tug. He lands on a fishing boat and is then sent to a place he doesn't recognize called Red Lobster. Next thing he is being wheeled out on a silver platter towards a big table with the Akatsuki all sitting around it. They are all holding knives and forks and tartar sauce is all around the table. He is set on the table and calls out to the leader Pein." Leader-sama you have to get me out of here. They think I'm on the menu." "Oh Kisame. You're not on the menu. We ordered you especially as the main course." Pein says and they all cackle evilly. Kisame screams as their knives and forks descend when he is suddenly back in the Tsukiyomi realm. He breathes a sigh of relief until he hears," 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go."

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later

Kisame is being wheeled out in a straitjacket screaming," No not the tartar sauce! Anything but tartar sauce!" Itachi sweatdrops and says, "Well that was interesting. But alas that was the end of today's episode but fear not we shall return next week with another special guest. So stay tuned."The curtain closes on the set."

Afterwards . . .

Itachi, Naruto, and Ibiki are all sitting backstage talking. "Hey Itachi there's something that's been bothering me?" "Yes Ibiki-san?" "How come you haven't been arrested by anbu? I mean you're having this show in the middle of Konoha." Ibiki asks. "Well that's quite simple. The Hokage herself sanctioned this show. Why do you think our first three victims were Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Sasuke?" "Okay, Kakashi and Jiraiya I can understand, but why Sasuke?" Naruto asks with a clueless expression on his face. "It's simple. His attitude annoyed her and she thought he needed to be taken down a peg." "Oh, okay."

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

Well that's the end of chapter four. Read and review.