LUNAR.
Renown for it's activities and Guild Tournaments such as the Heaven Driller Battle, The Turkey Day Fights and the most popular Gemini Tournament which is commonly said to be the one that kickstarted more widespread documentations of guild events.
Today however the usual guild activities were in progress; A group of eight having some friendly spars in the GAT Stadiums, a smaller group half the size taking on a dungeon exploration instructed by the ever-hairy Bafabon, and of course several stragglers chilling in the guildroom chatting the time away. Among them was Funneh, Skepy and Renshin – coincidentally all winners of previous Guild Tournaments hosted by Kironaka.
'Well, well, if it it's the winner's brigade' came a voice a few paces away.
'Eh, who's that?' asked Funneh who had been resting his eyes and squinting under the sunlight. Amatseru had approached the three who were lunging about and leered down at them with his red eyes.
'You fishin' for a fight, brother?' mocked Skepy. Amatseru grinned broadly, which made his red eyes look out of place and silly rather than menacing – he was really just trying to wind the others up.
'Why're you Old Tournament Bats lounging around? Think you've won the game?'
'What game?' said Renshin sitting up; eyes blurry and hair messier than usual
'GetAmped2?' replied Amatseru.
'Are you talking about GetAmped Tournaments or just GAT?' said Skepy 'They're just matches you know, not actual Tournaments.'
'Nevermind…Anyway, why are you guys lying about like this?'
'Oh…Kironaka announced a new guild tournament but said we couldn't join cause we're previous winners.' answered Renshin. Amatseru glanced over at the Guild Bulletin Board,
'This…doesn't look like a typical fighting tournament to me. Why should you guys be excluded, it's run differently.' Renshin, Skepy and Funneh exchanged perplexed looks. 'Did you guys even read it?!' probed Amatseru.
'Well no,' said Funneh but Kiro said she wanted everyone to have a fair chance so excluded the old tournament winners.'
'But there's no fighting involved!' burst Amatseru, baffled by this reasoning 'It's a-'
'It's a Singing Competition!' Kazeru had pounced onto the scene, twirling like a majestic ballerina and appropriately wearing a full dress and tiara like a beautiful princess. Renshin, Skepy and Funneh looked at each other once more, smiling
'Looks like we miss out on nothing after all' said Skepy through his teeth.
'Yeaahh.' Said Funneh 'I'm a Fighter, not a Singer.'
'What are you guys talking about!' piped up Renshin 'I wish I could sing in a competition, I'd be great!'
'You gotta let this underdog shine' beamed Kazeru flicking Renshin's nose.
'I already shine with my golden coat, thank you.' Replied the actual dog Spotpup walking past and overhearing 'But I will be entering too, so see you there.'
'The contest will be in Spin Square after dark,' said Kazeru eying down Spot moodily as he walked away 'Kironaka and Kenshiro are setting up a stage now, don't ask where Laurie is, word is he's hungover or something but they're still gonna try and get him to come and maybe participate.'
'Where are we gonna go in Spin Square to see this?' asked Funneh 'The place is pretty huge after all..'
'Oh! They got Diceman to move for the evening!' cried Kazeru barely containing his excitement 'So it'll be just north of the fountain! Anyone's free to come and watch.' Amatseru, Renshin, Skepy and Funneh nodded to one another, they could be in for a humorous night. As they casually wandered down to the Spin Square Kazeru dashed off, holding the sides of his dress to step further with his heels on.
It wasn't long before the big players all hit the stage; Kazeru with his pretty princess dress, Spot in a scruffy looking sky blue suit and a red bowtie, Laurie who had showed up last minute, blank faced and wearing only a heart-patterned set of boxer briefs, and lastly Renshin – who despite having winning The Heavenly Drill Battle as a previous Guild Event was determined to sing his heart out.
Kironaka as head-honcho guild event organiser and judge sat in the very front row with a desk in front of her, she looked on smiling at the participation for a non-battling guild event.
'Can Renshin even enter..?' whispered Kenshiro who was also one of the event's judges. Kironaka glanced over at Renshin on the far right, who at initial first glance looked perfectly normal, but upon inspection was indeed standing unusually still and straight, his smile a little forced and a dabble of sweat on his forehead. Kironaka gave a positively enthused nod and Kenshiro, shrugging slightly, leant back into his seat.
'How did I get here…' mumbled Laurie as he scratched the crotch of his boxers slowly, unaware of the audience. No one acknowledged this as Shot, the third person behind the judges table, stood up.
'Not the biggest turnout of people wanting to participate, we can't all be singers I guess. But anyway, we'd like to start now, Spot, you're up first…Spot?' Spot was faced away from the judges and audience, trembling slightly. As he turned back it became apparent that he was in fact laughing
'Sorry-' said Spot mid-giggle 'I just find it funny how we have a strict, nice and umm..a black guy as judges.' The judges looked confusingly at one another, and Shot rather offended. 'Like Simon, Paula and Randy from the original American Idol?' Everyone suddenly understood, but no one laughed.
'Thanks for that Spot, you're disqualified,' said Shot politely 'please leave the stage.'
'What?! I didn't even get to sing! C'mon Kironaka, surely you're not in favour of this!' Kironaka gave yet another positively enthused nod. Spot with his body tense from pleading suddenly drooped and he ambled slowly off-stage with his feet dragging and his sad tail between his legs.
With the centre stage now free, Kazeru lifting the corners of his dress to walk stepped forward, beaming with happiness.
'Uh, Kazeru it's not your turn.' said Kenshiro with forced sympathy 'Renshin will be up next.' Kazeru wondered if this had been done just to spite him, but begrudgingly returned to his seat while the nervous shuffling Renshin took his place. As Renshin stepped up to the microphone beads of sweat were now dropping to the ground from his head. His adamant smile remained slightly askew, he took in a deep calming breath to begin singing
'WAIT!' came a loud cry from stage left. Amatseru had rushed on to the stage with Moko short in tow. 'We want to enter too!'
'Amat and Moko…?' said a puzzled Shot with an eyebrow raised 'You two are the last people I would think to enter.'
'We weren't gonna…' said Amatseru shyly – an image very strange in contrast to his blood red eyes
'But with my KDJ skills accompanying Amat's singing,' said Moko taking charge 'we thought we might be able to pull it off, so we'd like to enter as a duo!'
'Are they allowed to do that?' whispered Kenshiro over to Kiro. Kironaka gave yet another positively enthused nod. 'Well…if you say so.' He said with a sigh sinking back into his chair once more.
'HOLD ON!' cried an angry voice from the audience 'If those latecomers get to join then some of us in audience who never signed up should get to as well!' There was apparent unanimous agreement from the rest of the audience behind the judges
'Floof, I'm sure your singing voice is great,' said Shot 'but the contest is already under way, so I'm sorry Amat and Moko..' the two looked aghast 'but if we let you join last minute then everyone else should be allowed as well, and we're not going to do that, are we Kiro?' Kironaka gave yet another positively enthused nod. 'We..We are?!' There was a loud cheer from the crowd and one by one guild members flocked to the stage; Grau fixing his hair, Bladmius clearing his through calmly, as well as Aquila looking neutral and simply blurting noises and speaking in tongues. Several others followed behind, grinning and getting themselves AMPED up.
'NO!' blurted Kazeru, stomping his feet forcefully under his dress and red in the face. 'I won't allow any of these lazy late entries! If they want to join they should've signed up in advance!'
"baaah, c'mon Kaz.' Bargained Shot 'Don't be a fun-hog. Let the others join, it's only a singing contest.'
'What am I doing here…' murmured Laurie, still standing motionless in his underwear.
'I won't allow it! Nah! No way!' continued Kazeru 'I won't let them ruin my chances at winning!' with darkness emitting from his hands, Kazeru spawned two violent looking mutilation discus, contrasting horribly with his elegant dress and tiara. 'THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE FUCKING PRETTY PRINCESS.' And with that proclamation he dived into the mob of newcomers to the stage, singling out the oblivious Aquila, still humming and making noises. At the moment of impact in an instant Aquila leaned fully back, his feet still grounded but his back horizontal. His face was still oblivious but gradually formed surprise. Kazeru was slashed back by a Sacrifice Reaper Scythe which spawned in Aquila's hand the moment he swung into action.
'If this singing contest has fighting then I'm definitely in' grinned Aquila before being blown away by a gigantic laser beam.
'Does a laser from the mouth of my laser blaster count as singing..?' asked Grau in mid-air
'None of it really matters anymore.' whispered a voice from behind him 'Hello.' An Ardent Hammer pummelled Grau down into the ground with full force brandished by Bladimus
'It does matter! I may be nervous but I want to sing!' cried Renshin hastily 'Surprise!' with a fully charged Kung-Fu punch Renshin sent Bladimus soaring from view. The chaos of these single knockouts had sent the other guild members into a frenzy, Moko and Amatseru holding their own against a barrage of bullets and flying daggers, Kenshiro and Shot defending Kiro against people who had forgotten they were supposed to be judges, Spot rushing around wildly slashing people with the gigantic Exodus Power sword.
'THIS IS IT FOR YOU GUYS!' screamed Kazeru at the top of his lungs, his mutilation discs spinning out of control and vibrating madly 'I WILL BE THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS!' with a harsh flick of both his arms discs flew everywhere slicing everything in their path and simultaneously exploding with a massive boom that absorbed the whole section of Spin Square.
When the debris of the explosion had cleared a skeleton of the stage remained, bodies scattered left, right and centre. One solitary, unaffected figure remained as a dim shadow in the dust. Kironaka, Shot and Kenshiro who were still conscious and at their seats leaned forward and squinted their eyes to see the victor of the destruction
'What am I doing here…' the messy haired, blood-shot eyed Laurie remained, now completely naked as his heart-patterned underwear lay as a pile of ripped up ash at his feet. As for the rest of his body not a single urn could be seen. Smiling as she had the entire time Kironaka gave yet another positively enthused nod. Shot and Kenshiro both looked to their left and right at Kiro in the middle of the two, then uncertainly at one another, then back at the wrecked stage.
'Right..uhh..' mumbled Kenshiro
'We have a winner!' blurted out Shot. Laurie's tired eyes blankly stared off into space as he remained emotionless as he slowly grinded his head over to face Shot. The two stared at one another, Shot furrowing his eyebrows in perplexity. Laurie's blank face slowly began to smile, his eyes teared up in possible happiness, until Shot realised the hilt of Spot's enormous Exodus Power sword popping out from Laurie's anus but with Spot nowhere to be seen. In an instant without seeing him fall Laurie was flat on his face, not dead, but merely sleeping and snoring loudly on the ground.
Bodies everywhere, the stage with wooden planks snapped and the curtains tattered, the three judges remained motionless. Kironaka rose wiping her hands together as if signifying a job well done then shuffled past Kenshiro and walked off.
'That's it..?' muttered Kenshiro 'There was no singing at all, just a normal tournament battle...No winner.'
'You're right,' answered Shot 'But we did have fun right? I mean look;' Kenshiro looked around examining all the bodiesclosely, and suddenly it was clear. Everyone; whether unconscious or sleeping, was smiling peacefully. Kenshiro snickered to himself as he realised Shot was right – he couldn't help himself, because he too was smiling.