Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Also, some of you may be wondering why Matt's last name was asterisked when he introduced himself to Tali, but it wasn't when he introduced himself to Shepard. The answer is the perspective. From Matt's POV, it was hidden. From Shepard's POV, it was revealed. Just something I decided to go with.
"Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards; they simply unveil them to the eyes of men. Silently and imperceptibly, as we wake or sleep, we grow strong or weak; and at last some crisis shows what we have become." - Brooke Foss Westcott
Matt
I honestly hadn't expected getting to the Presidium would be this easy. I mean, our team was made up of a human, a turian, a krogan, and a quarian. Wouldn't C-Sec find that just a tiny bit suspicious, especially the scary-looking krogan with the multitude of deadly weapons?
Shit, Garrus was right about Citadel Security sucking ass. I mean, I've seen mall cops more active than these guys. Hell, the only time I saw an officer doing something was on the way to the Embassies, when we actually passed by that hanar and turian officer from the game, arguing about the former's right to preach about the 'Enkindlers' and their teachings. I gotta say, it was quite entertaining to watch the pissed-off turian bark at the calm and collected hanar. While standing there and enjoying the show was a tempting thought, I had some evidence to deliver.
Though I do wonder if they'll still be arguing if we come back later. That would be hilarious.
Anyway, we eventually passed a bunch of areas from the game, like Barla Von's office (which looked the exact fucking same from the outside as it did in ME), before we reached the Embassies.
And then irony kicks in. See, security didn't stop us once for walking around the Presidium armed with deadly weapons, and none of them protested the fact that a quarian or a krogan was wandering around the area that was considered the headquarters of galactic politics and commerce. But as soon as we reach the front desk with the asari sitting behind it (also like the game), we're stopped for not having an appointment or clearance to go into the Embassies.
Go figure, right?
And now, here we are, attempting to reason with this airhead asari, and it's only the knowledge that she probably has centuries on me that prevents me from hitting her with a biotic blow. If I can even do that again, which I'm not sure I can.
"Look, miss," I sigh, rubbing my temples, "can't you just call the human ambassador on the intercom or something and tell him we have evidence against Saren?"
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm not allowed to do that without proper identification," she replied, and I can tell she's losing her patience, trying to talk to us while doing all that crazy typing on her computer. Or holo. Or whatever the fuck you call that thing. Well, that's good, 'cause my patience is about to blow like fucking Mount Vesuvius. Bitch.
"But we have a C-Sec officer with us. Isn't that proper ID?" I ask hopefully, pointing my thuimb at Garrus over my shoulder.
She frowned. "I've already been informed of Officer Vakarian's current unemployment. Executor Pallin figured he would come here, and told me to block off all access."
Oh yeah, Pallin. Cocksucking prick.
I could hear Garrus growl behind me, but the asari seemed not to notice.
"Ma'am, the fate of hundreds of thousands of lives could depend on us getting this knowledge to the ambassador," I plead. Great, now I'm begging. "Can't I just run this to him and back? I can leave my companions here."
She shook her head resolutely. "No, sir." Her eyes narrowed harshly at me. "Please leave before I call C-Sec and have you locked up."
...
In the words of Abraham Lincoln: You have fucked up now!
"Well then," I say, lowering my head. "Guess I have no choice." The asari gave a smug smirk of victory. Big mistake.
"Wrex!" I bark.
The krogan responded immediately, pulling his shotgun from his back and holding the barrel a foot away from the asari's head.
"Now let's try this again," I say in a dangerously quiet tone. "Call up the human ambassador and tell him that we're here to help his investigation, please. Or my krogan friend here can turn your head into a milkshake. Your choice."
Shaking with fear, the asari hits the intercom on her desk and speaks. "Sir?" she manages to squeak.
Then I hear the familiar voice of Ambassador Udina, the spineless asshole. "Yes, what is it?" he snapped. Oh, he's already acting like a giant dick? Shocking!
"Um," she began, glancing back over at me fearfully. While I feel slightly guilty at threatening an innocent like this, she was really pissing me off. And we didn't have time to waste bullshitting with the blond equivalent of an asari. I twitch my head in Wrex's direction, who grins ferally and slightly lifts up the shotgun before lowering it again.
Translation: Keep talking, or boom goes the dynamite. And by 'dynamite', I mean your fucking head.
"There's a group of people here to see you, ambassador," she continues. "They claim they can help in your investigation."
A pause. Okay, so he's considering it at least. That's progress.
"Really?" he said, his voice telling me that he was interested in what we had to say. "Send them in." Then the connection was cut.
"See, was that so hard?" I ask cheerfully. "Now, we would appreciate it if you don't involve C-Sec in this. Especially the big guy," I said, pointing over at Wrex, who had holstered his shotgun. "He would be very unhappy if a bunch of officers showed up to arrest him, okay?"
She nodded instantly. I smirked before turning and walking toward the right hallway, the team following me.
"Was that really necessary?" Tali asked.
"Unfortunately yes. There's never a shortage of idiots in the galaxy, and that one was stopping us from getting this evidence to the right hands. We had to take drastic measures," I responded.
"Did we really need to threaten her after we got what we wanted, though?" she inquired.
"Please. You think C-Sec will treat us fairly if we get arrested. Look at us! A krogan merc, a quarian traveller, a former C-Sec turian,and a biotic human. We'd be harrassed in our cells constantly." I shot back. She lowered her head in resignation.
"I can't argue with that. The galaxy doesn't seem to like us very much," she said quietly.
"The four of us, or quarians?" I ask.
"I guess both," she replied, a tiny bit of humor entering her voice. After that, she was silent once more.
Even if Tali was feeling down in the dumps, I couldn't help but grin at the events happening around me. I had managed to recruit three of Shepard's squad mates and retrieve the evidence against Saren. And now I was going to deliver it, meet Commander Shepard (and finally figure out if it's a male or female in this universe!), and hopefully join his/her team.
Yep, things were looking up. Except for the fact that I was still stuck in the universe of a video game. That was still troubling.
Ah well, take what you can get.
Okay, there's turian embassy. Asari. Salarian. Hanar.
There it is. The human embassy.
Oh man, I can't keep the shit-eating grin off my face!
The door opened as I approached, and five pairs of eyes gazed upon me as I stepped into the room, my stupid smile not faltering a bit. I glance around the room and take in the sights. Looks pretty much the same as in the game. Udina's desk in the middle with a few tables and chairs spread around it. Okay, there's Udina, the asskissing slimeball. There's Anderson, standing there in a badass fashion on the right side of the room, hands held behind his back like the boss that he is.
Seated at one of the tables was Kaidan Alenko, looking as passive as he always did in the game. Bastard was calm, I'll give him that much. Still wasn't one of my favorite Mass Effect characters, though.
Then there was Ashley Williams, brown hair tied in the classic bun and normal slightly-cross look on her face as she leaned against the wall a few feet away from Alenko. Also not one of my favorite characters, though the ME3 picture of her I saw online was pretty hot.
...
Moving on.
And leaning against the railing at the back of the room was the one person I had been waiting to meet above all others. Well would you look at that, it's a FemShep. Thank God for that. I don't have anything against Mark Meer's (infamous) voice acting, but Jennifer Hale is just amazing.
Okay, let's see what I'm working with. Dark red hair to her shoulders, alright. Striking emerald-green eyes. Full red lips. A spray of freckles across the bridge of her nose and her cheeks. Not really lacking in the looks department, I gotta admit...
Oh, shit, am I staring at her? Not good not good not good!
"You guys looking for evidence against Saren?" I asked, hoping to cover my hormone-induced staring. My eyes were still locked on hers, however. Whatever you do Matt, don't glance down. It's a death wish!
"Yes, we are," Shepard responded. Ah, Ms. Hale, your voice is still magnificent, no matter what reality I'm stuck in. I could feel my stupid grin widening.
Guess I'd better make a good first impression.
"Well, my name is Matthew Crowe, and I'm here to help you with your Spectre problem."
And somewhere in the back of my mind, I could've sworn I heard Jack's voice saying "Shit, you sound like a pussy."
An awkward silence began to fill the air. Ah shit, did I fuck this up already?
"You're the ones that shot up Chora's Den, aren't you?" Anderson suddenly spoke up, shattering the uncomfortable quiet. And there's Keith David's epic voice, bringing back some old memories involving the Arbiter and the repetitive yelling of the name 'Ramirez'.
"Oh yeah, that was us," Wrex responded before I could, grinning as he did so.
Okay, while I would love to stay and chat with Keith David and Jennifer Hale, two of my all-time favorite voice actors, we have business to attend to. Business involving audio files and the first human Spectre. Time to move on with this!
"So, let's get the formalities out of the way," I say, clapping my hands together for emphasis. "This is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya and Urdnot Wrex. I believe you already know Officer Vakarian." I made sure to point out each and every one of my squadmates as I said their names.
The three members of Shepard's squad nodded at that. The Commander ceased her casual leaning on the railing to stand up straight and walk a few steps toward us. "I'm Commander Katelyn Shepard. This is Captain David Anderson, Ambassador Donnel Udina, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, and Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams."
Katelyn, eh? Not a bad name. Wonder if she goes by Kate for short.
"Very well. Now that we're acquainted with each other, maybe you'd like to give us the full explanation of why you are here," Udina interjected somewhat snippily. Wow, great manners, asshat.
Alright, let's do this.
"Long story. Shortened version: We found some evidence against Saren, and we're here to deliver it. Simple as that," I explained, standing a little straighter to let them know I was all business right now.
"Really?" Udina asked, raising his hand to his mouth in that thinking gesture he uses in both games. "And how did you come across this evidence?" Was that suspicion in his voice?
I glanced over at Tali, who nodded and stepped forward.
Before she even had a chance to speak, Udina spoke up again. Christ, just listening to him talk makes me wanna shoot him!
"We don't see many quarians on the Citadel. Why did you leave the flotilla?" he asked. I've heard this conversation way too many times before, but I guess I shouldn't screw with the timeline. Tali gets ready to speak before being interrupted.
"She's on her pilgrimage," Garrus said. All eyes went to the turian, who shrugged and continued. "It's a quarian tradition where they leave the Migrant Fleet to find something that can be found useful back on their ships. It's basically a rite of adulthood."
"Yes, that's right," Tali murmured, still staring at Garrus from behind the helmet.
"How'd you know that, Garrus?" I ask, curious as to why the former C-Sec officer knew about the Pilgimage here but not in the game.
"Rookie officers are always running quarians in for vagrancy," the turian says in disgust. "They would tell us about the Pilgrimage in order to explain their lack of living space, but it never mattered to Pallin. Something else those idiots at C-Sec constantly screw up."
Huh. That's actually interesting to note. Just like the whole 'driving while black' issue back home.
Shepard tilted her head and spoke, ending the strange silence that had been caused by Garrus's explanation. "What kind of evidence did you find? And how did you even get it?"
"Well, I began hearing reports of geth beyond the Veil during my travels, which hasn't happened once in the three hundred years since they drove my people into exile." She shrugged. "I was curious. I tracked a geth patrol to an uncharted world and waited for one to separate from the group. Then I disabled it and removed its memory core."
Anderson raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they died. A defense mechanism."
"If that's true, then how did you manage to preserve the memory core?" Shepard asked, seeming intrigued.
"Well, my people did create the geth. Sometimes if you're quick, careful, and lucky, small caches of data can be recovered intact," the quarian girl explained. "While most of the core was deleted, I managed to salvage something from its audio banks."
And with that, Tali activated her omnitool and quickly hit a few buttons before the familiar voice of Fred Tatasciore emanated from the holographic device. "Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit."
"That's Saren's voice!" Anderson exclaimed. "This proves he was behind the attack!"
"Okay, so what the hell is this Conduit thing he's talking about?" I ask, hoping to move this conversation along. I've already heard it dozens of fucking times, might as well spice it up a little.
"Well, it must have something to do with that Prothean beacon from Eden Prime. Maybe it's some kind of weapon?" Alenko asked.
Shepard and Anderson shared worried looks, though they were quick to hide them. Part of me wishes I could just come out and tell them what the fucking Conduit is, but I couldn't. Balance of timelines and all that. I read enough self-insert fics to get that part right. Of course, nine times out of ten the protagonist's secret is blown by someone else and the whole situations goes to hell pretty fast.
Knowing my luck, that was most definitely what was going to happen.
Tali's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Wait, there's more. Saren wasn't operating alone."
Our attention went back to the young quarian, who activated her omnitool once again. There's Saren, Eden Prime, Conduit, blah blah blah.
"And one step closer to the return of the Reapers," a chilling female voice said. And there's Benezia, indoctrinated asari Matriarch and mother of Liara T'Soni.
"I don't recognize that other voice, the one talking about Reapers," Udina stated.
"What the hell are Reapers?" Ashley asked, looking at all of us in confusion. No one answered for a few seconds. Aw fuck, Tali doesn't know either! So not canon! Guess I'm up again.
"I've heard of them before," I said nonchalantly. All eyes are on me for, what? The third time? Fourth? Take a drink every time everybody in the fucking room looks at me!
"Back on Earth there was this crazy-ass guy that lived near my uncle. Said these things called Reapers were 'hyper-advanced mechanical gods' or some shit like that. He claimed that they completely annihilated the Protheans fifty-thousand years ago and then vanished. And that they would be back soon to do the same to us," I explained, cooking up yet another bullshit tale.
"Sounds a little far-fatched," Udina muttered to himself, though we all heard it.
Shepard's eyes seemed to widen a fraction. "The vision on Eden Prime! I get it now. I saw the Protheans being wiped out by the Reapers!"
I glance over at Wrex and Garrus, who shrug in confusion. When I look at Tali, she does the same. Okay, since I have to keep my origins a secret, and it appears I've been made temporary leader of this damn team, I have to be the one to speak up.
"Uh, what vision?" I ask, feigning ignorance.
Udina and Anderson straighten up at that.
Oh, right. The whole mission was top-secret. Great.
As I prepare my newest snarky comment, Shepard lets out an annoyed sigh.
"For the love of God, it's not gonna be a secret for long!" she growls irritably at her superiors before turning to me. "A dig team on Eden Prime uncovered a Prothean beacon, which is why it was attacked in the first place. When we found it, I had some strange vision burned into my brain before the damn beacon exploded in my face."
"Well, your face looks like it came out no worse for wear," I note before blinking in horror. Did I really just say that? Did I just fucking hit on Commander Shepard? Please God, don't let her be Renegade! I like my face intact!
Fortunately, she seems to take it all in stride as she snorts in good humor. "Thanks, but it wasn't literally in front of me. Just a couple of meters away."
Our banter was cut short by Udina, which I suspect will become a usual thing. You know what I wish for right now? I wish for Shepard to go into a Trishka Novak-like rage and start threatening to kill Udina's dick. That would make my fucking day.
"While I'm sure this conversation is very interesting, we should probably be more concerned about what the Council will say to this," he said in his holier-than-thou tone of voice. Oh, wait, that's his normal voice. Never mind.
"The Council deserves to know, ambassador. The Reapers are a threat to every sentient being in the galaxy," Shepard protested.
"If what the boy says is true you mean," came Udina's pompous response. Oh, you wiseass motherfucker!
"The boy has a name, jackass," I snarl, crossing my arms over my chest and allowing my biotics to flare up for a split-second before powering down. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the corner of Shepard's mouth twitch upward. Good, she has a sense of humor in this universe. If she had a pole up her ass like Garrus, or my father for that matter, I would be very disappointed.
Udina narrowed his eyes at me, and I returned the gesture immediately. After a few tense seconds that felt like countless hours, what with everyone in the room having gone silent and watching the two of us carefully, the giant pussy looks away. Yeah, don't fuck with a pissed-off biotic teenager, meatbag. Wait, does an eighteen-year-old still count as a teenager?
The sound of Anderson clearing his throat broke me out of my seething hatred of the politician, if only for a moment. "Whether or not they believe the rest of this, that audio file proves Saren is a traitor!" the Captain said excitedly.
You know what? This is just like the game dialogue. Seriously, little to no dialogue changes at all. Almost disappointing really. Am I just a copy and paste here or something, not here to change much, just provide extra humor? Dammit, I want new dialogue!
Fuck it, I'm speaking up as much as possible from now on.
"Man's got a point," I say. "You might wanna present this to your buddies on the Council. Show them just how far they've had their heads up their asses." I say that last part with a grin, I gotta admit.
I received a few chuckles for that comment.
"So, what do we do with these four?" Ashley asked in a rather blunt manner.
Okay, I worked on this the whole drive here. Come on Matt, present your case and blow them away!
...
Screw the motivational shit, I'm just gonna do this.
"Well, I can't speak for my friends here," I start, gesturing towards Tali, Wrex, and Garrus. "But I want to join you on this mission against Saren."
Everyone in the room seemed stunned by my request. Yep, more awkward silence. Christ, I'm good at that, aren't I?
"You want to join us?" Kaidan asked, sounding slightly amused. "You have any military experience, kid?"
"Before today? Nope," I admit cheerfully. "All I've had is basic hand-to-hand training and a few lessons in firing a pistol. And my biotics, of course."
While Kaidan and Ashley shared confused glances, Shepard's green eyes pierced me with an analyzing gaze, carefully studying me. Guess I need to up the ante here.
"Look, I'll admit I'm not the most dangerous person in this room, and I know jack shit about ship technology or maintenance. But my uncle always told me to put others before myself, and if Saren's looking to start a war, that means he's gonna kill thousands, maybe more. Plus, if this Reaper thing is real, it's gonna be even worse. If I can help in any way to prevent either of those from happening, then sign me up."
Okay, Shepard looks like she's considering it. Oh, dammit, what else can I add?
"If I may, Commander," comes a familiar flanged voice. All eyes turn to look at Garrus Vakarian, the turian standing there looking confident and intimidating. "The boy could be a very powerful addition to your team. I witnessed him rip a krogan's arm off with his bare hands in Chora's Den."
Oh, Garrus, I could kiss you right now!
And all eyes go to me again. Take another drink!
"That was before he ripped the poor bastard's jaw open," Wrex added, throwing me a look of what I really hope is approval. If Urdnot Wrex thinks I'm a true warrior, I have hit the pinnacle of badassery.
"That was you?" Kaidan asked, stunned. I simply nod in response.
Hell, even Udina looks impressed now! Yes, my alien friends came through for me again! Fuck all you xenophobes!
Shepard clears her throat before speaking again.
"Well, we are a little understaffed in regards to the ground team," she admitted. "We're gonna need more than three soldiers if we want to beat Saren..." She tilted her head in thought, her emerald eyes never leaving me. Oh crap, this suspense is a nightmare!
"Alright," she finally relents. "We'll take all the help we can get. All I ask is that you have the ship's medical officer give you a quick physical. If she clears you, I'll see to it you get both combat and biotic training while you're with us."
...
Holy shit on a shit sandwich.
With shit on top.
And a side helping of Jesus H. Christ! I'm on the Normandy crew! Mission accomplished, bitches!
"Thank you, Commander," I say, trying with all of my might to try not to jump for joy. "I won't let you down."
It's a cliche, sure, but it sums up exactly how I feel. I've just been given the chance to save the galaxy from complete and total annihilation. Fuck no I'm not gonna waste this opportunity.
"Count me in, Shepard," Garrus blurted out.
"I would like to go as well," Tali chimed in.
Shepard blinked in surprise. Well, since I had to give my reasons for wanting to join the team, I'm guessing they will too. And the red-headed green-eyed commander doesn't disappoint.
"Why would a turian want to take down Saren?" she inquired.
Garrus snorted. "It's because he's a turian that I want him stopped. He's a traitor to the Council, and a disgrace to my people!"
Ah, hell with it. He helped me out, I'd better return the favor. "Every turian does receive military training at sixteen. And he is a damn good shot with that sniper rifle."
Shepard considered it for a few more seconds before nodding and turning to Tali. "What about you, Miss Zorah? Don't you have to complete your pilgrimage?"
The quarian girl straightened at that. "The pilgrimage proves that we are able to put the needs of others before ourselves. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this?"
Me again: "She's also the closest thing we have to a geth expert. Can you really turn away that kind of help?"
Shepard threw me a glance, then looked over at Garrus and Tali once more. "Alright, welcome aboard, Garrus Vakarian and Tali'Zorah."
"Ah hell, I'm in," came a deep, rumbling voice. I look over at Wrex in surprise.
"You too, Wrex?" I ask, fighting back a smile.
The fearsome krogan shrugged. "I got nowhere else to be. Besides, chasing a rogue turian Spectre around the galaxy, blowing up geth along the way? I can't pass up that kind of action."
"Bullshit. You're just coming along 'cause you'd miss me," I smirk.
"Someone's gotta watch your sorry ass. Can't trust the turian to do it, he can't even save his own," the battlemaster retorted, his comment causing Garrus to roll his eyes and shake his head.
"That'll do, Wrex," Shepard said calmly, though there was no disguising the the power and authority in her voice from the little 'request'. This was a woman you did not wanna fuck with.
The krogan let out a snort, but said nothing. He knew who was in charge here.
"I believe it's time we deliver this evidence to the Council. Shepard, you and your fellow soldiers had better make your way to the Citadel Tower. The others can head for the ship," Udina commanded. Oh, I get it. We deliver the evidence, then get sent away like the ugly stepson that nobody wants to look at. Fuck you, Udina.
Then, to my surprise, Shepard frowned at the dickweed ambassador. "That doesn't sound like a very grateful request," she said in a very low and scary voice. "These people risked their lives to get us this evidence, now you're telling them they can't accompany me to deliver it?"
Udina gulped in fear at Shepard's deadly glare.
I'm not kidding, the bastard literally closed his eyes and gulped.
It didn't take him long to regain his composure, unfortunately. Watching him piss himself would have been entertaining. "Very well, I will make sure they have the proper clearance. But you can't take all of them with you. Some of them must wait at the ship."
With that, Ambassador shit-weasel (yes, that is a Dreamcatcher reference) began walking toward the door, Anderson going with him. The commander's eyes followed him every step until the door closed behind him.
Shepard's glare didn't let up for a few more seconds. "Alright, guess that's the best I'm gonna get," she sighed. Turning, she locked eyes with each of us. "Guess I'm gonna have to ask for a couple of volunteers to head back to the ship."
Ashley raised her hand almost immediately. "I'm not a big fan of politicians, commander. You understand, right?"
Shepard rubbed her temples. "I do, chief. Believe me, I do."
"And I doubt the Council will be eager to see a krogan in their precious Tower. I'll go back to the ship with the female," Wrex added. Ashley didn't look too thrilled about being referred to as 'the female', but wisely kept her peace. Don't wanna piss off a krogan if you can help it.
"I'll go too, commander. I think a migraine's starting to kick in," Kaidan said in a hoarse voice. Yeah, he was looking a little pale around the gills. How did I not notice that?
The commander nodded. "Anyone else wanna head back?"
I look over at Garrus and Tali, who shake their heads.
I shrug in response. "I'll go. Hell, with every other crazy shit that happened to me today, visiting the Citadel Tower oughta wrap it all up rather nicely."
"Alright. Ashley, Kaidan, you can direct our new krogan friend here to the Normandy," Shepard commanded.
The two soldiers saluted before turning and walking away, Wrex following close behind. I can already tell that the biotic krogan is gonna drive Ashley up the wall; their personalities are pretty much destined to clash. And Kaidan will no doubt watch with amusement, not bothering to take a side when they begin arguing about some random subject, most likely about gender equality.
After they left, it was just the four of us.
It was at that moment that the room began spinning, and I felt a strange feeling in my gut. You ever get the blend of apprehension and excitement when you're waiting in line to ride an insanely awesome roller coaster for the first time? This was very similar.
I slowly looked over at Garrus, and then, right in front of my eyes, he changed! While his visor and basic head structure remained the same, a gruesome-looking scar ran up the right side of his face, and his black and blue C-Sec armor was replaced by a more stylish blue, black, and silver. I then glanced at Tali, who was now wearing her ME2 exo-suit, purple visor and all.
Finally, my eyes landed on Shepard. While her armor hadn't changed much, now having different shoulder pauldrons and a smoother look, her face had become full-on Renegade. Glowing scars covered the right side of her once-pretty face, and her hair looked disheveled and dirty. But the worst part was the red eyes, piercing into me. They looked haunted, broken. And somewhere, in the back of my mind, the voice of Malcolm McDowell reverberated throughout my very soul.
"These eyes will deceive you, they will destroy you. They will take from you, your innocence, your pride, and eventually your soul. These eyes do not see what you and I see. Behind these eyes one finds only blackness, the absence of light. These are the eyes of a psychopath."
I mashed my eyes closed, cursing with every fiber of my being the Reaper that had brought me here, and was now screwing with my sanity. I swear to God, if I end up like Isaac Clarke...
"Hey Matt, you okay?" came a flanged voice.
I opened my eyes and noticed a few things. One, the three people in the room with me were all back to their normal ME look. Two, they all had their eyes on me. Three, I was leaning against a nearby wall for support. Four, sweat was running down my forehead.
Shit, make something up!
"Yeah, I'm okay," I manage to say. "Just tired. Never used my biotics so much in one day." Which was actually true.
The commander tilted her head in concern. "Should I have someone take you to the Normandy?"
I shook my head and stood up straight, removing myself from the wall and wiping the sweat from my forehead with my newly-acquired jacket. "Nah, I'll be fine."
Shepard didn't look convinced, but she refrained from arguing. "If you say so. Let's head for the Tower."
I manage to smirk a little. "Right behind you, boss-lady."
Jesus H. Christ, what is wrong with these fucking elevators?
I'm not kidding, they are slower here than in the game, no bullshit! If I ever find the guy who designed these things, I'm shooting him in the knees, elbows, balls, stomach, and head. In that order.
I'm leaning against the wall of the elevator, looking out through the window they so graciously provided as the only source of entertainment on this godforsaken machine.
While I had an enormous fear of heights as a kid, I had managed to move past them in high school. Still, looking out over the horizon at how high we were, it made a twinge of the old phobia come back to send a chill down my spine. If I'm still with the crew by the time the Battle of the Citadel comes around, I'm gonna be walking vertically up this thing. And still moving faster than the elevator.
Meanwhile, Tali, Garrus, and Shepard are having a conversation about their favorite weapons. As one would guess, Garrus is a sniper rifle fan, Tali likes shotguns, and Shepard's in the assault rifle camp.
"What about you, Matt?" Tali's voice snaps me out of my thoughts as I turn to look at them.
"I've never used anything bigger than a pistol in my life. I'm no soldier, guys," I explain, shrugging. "Of course, if they made one-handed machine guns, I wouldn't mind having one of those."
Shepard cracked a smile at that. "The word you're looking for is 'SMG', submachine gun. And we can find one for you onboard the Normandy, as soon as we train you in its usage."
Wait, there are SMGs now, in ME1 time?
Ah, fuck it, I'm not even gonna try to understand this warped reality anymore. Just go with the motherfucking flow.
...
And I just realized I have no idea what class Shepard is. She's most likely a soldier, due to her love of assault rifles, but I refuse to assume anything anymore.
"So, commander, what kind of training did you get in the N7 program?" I ask.
She blinks in confusion at that. "What do you know about the N7 program?"
I shrug. "Only that it supposedly trains the best of the best in the Alliance."
The commander smirks. "Then you heard right. I was taught the basics in weapons in hand-to-hand, obviously. I started as a regular soldier, but the N7 program allowed me to also train as an infiltrator."
...
What the fuck? She's a soldier and an infiltrator? That is so OP!
"So what does an infiltrator do? Is that like a space ranger or something?" I ask, grinning to myself.
"A what?" Shepard frowns. Garrus and Tali share looks of confusion.
"What is a 'space ranger'?" Tali asked, saying the word as if it were in a foreign language.
Shit, nobody in this time period knows Buzz Lightyear. Well that's just great. My humor is outdated by about 200 years.
"Never mind. Old movie from the twenty-first century I watched when I was a little kid," I explain.
Garrus's mandibles twitch a little at that, while Tali cocks her head to the side in confusion.
"Let's just forget about it," I say quickly, turning back to Shepard. "Anyway, what skills did they teach you?"
"Well," she begins, raising her hand to her chin in thought. "I was given even more extensive hand-to-hand combat training, for one thing. And they made sure that I could use a sniper rifle effectively at practically any range. Then they threw in a cloaking mod for my Omni-tool, and I was taught a few tech abilities here and there."
"Like Overload?" I guessed.
She nodded.
Before anyone else could ask another question, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Oh, thank God, that shit is over!
"Ladies first," I offered, gesturing to the opening. Shepard smirked and shook her head as she walked by, followed by Tali. Garrus and I walked out at the same time, and I got my first look at the inside of the Citadel Tower.
And by 'first look', I mean 'high resolution version of the game Citadel Tower'. Seriously, exactly the same. Christ, this is really not impressing me at all. Why can't some things be different? A little variety wouldn't fucking hurt!
We walked down the familiar hallway to the first set of stairs, trees sprouting up on either side of us. Climb up the stairs, there's the fountain where we meet Garrus for the first time. Go around the fountain. Up more stairs.
Now we're at the open area right before we reach the Council Chambers. Looking around, I take in the benches, trees, and different species standing around. Humans, volus, salarian, turian...
Ah, shit. Elcor.
It's not that I hate elcor, I'm no racist. It's just, I can't look at them the same way since Scott and Jacob ruined them for me. Scott sent me a video of what an elcor sounded like during an orgasm.
"In pure ecstacy: Yes, yes, oh God yes."
Fuck, I think I'm gonna start laughing. Don't lose it, Matt...
Then there was the time Jacob asked how elcor move (seeing as how you never see their movements in the first game). Deciding to be funny, he had said they moved around like a South Park character, just sliding over the floor without movement, making a scraping sound as they go.
...
Quickly, I cover my mouth with my hands to prevent my laughter from ringing out around the Tower.
Fuck you Scott, and fuck you Jacob!
Good thing I'm at the back of the group; I'm able to avoid attracting suspicion. I really don't wanna explain my thoughts about elcor sex to Shepard, Garrus, and Tali.
...
What is wrong with me?
Oh, look, there's Anderson. I manage to calm myself down just as we reach him.
"Come on, Udina's submitting the evidence to the Council," he ordered, and the four of us followed him up the stairs without hesitation.
And there's the balcony, with Udina standing on the end of it. Further ahead are the three biggest idiots in the Mass Effect universe, actually managing to make Conrad Verner look like fucking Stephen Hawking. I can't wait for ME3 to come around, if only to walk right up to their fucking faces and do the air quotes.
"Ah yes, 'Reapers'. The immortal race of sentient starships allegedly laying waste to Earth. Dismiss that fucking claim!"
That oughta be interesting.
Anyway, the recording is just wrapping up as we stand at the edge of the balcony behind Udina, looking up at the Council members. Asari in the middle, salarian on the right, fucktard turian on the left. Alright, let's make us a human Spectre!
"You wanted proof? There it is!" Udina declared with a hint of victory in his voice. Oh yeah, why not just tell them you got it yourself, tough guy? Say you shot up Chora's Den and ripped a damn krogan's mouth wide open!
"This evidence is irrefutable, ambassador," the turian says, and I'm really hoping I hear a little defeat when he says that. Yeah, suck it, bitch! "Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status, and all efforts will be made to bring him in for his crimes."
Yeah, bullshit.
"I recognize that other voice, the female one," the asari says. "Matriarch Benezia."
Yep.
"Who's Benezia?" Shepard asked.
"Matriarch's are powerful asari who have entered the final stage of their lives, revered for their wisdom and experience. They serve as guides to my people. Matriarch Benezia is a skilled biotic, and she has many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren," the asari councilor responds.
Uh-huh.
"I'm more interested in these Reapers. What do we know about them?" the salarian asks.
The squad looks at me.
...
Oh, fuck all of you!
I clear my throat and step forward, realizing that I was being stared at by the most politically powerful beings in the galaxy. They were idiots, but they were high-ranking idiots. And I'm an eighteen-year-old wearing casual clothes and carrying a pistol. What a contrast we have here. I make sure to speak loud enough for the Council members to hear me.
"All I know is what some idiot I used to know told me. The Reapers were a highly advanced race of machines that wiped out all sentient life in the galaxy, including the Protheans. Then they just vanished."
There was a moment of silence as the trio took it all in, their eyes still on me. This is making me real uncomfortable...
Fortunately, Shepard steps in here. "The geth worship the Reapers as their gods. They believe Saren is the prophet for their return."
And Anderson is back up to the plate. "We believe this Conduit is the key to their return. Saren's trying to find it, which is why he attacked Eden Prime to get to the Prothean beacon."
"And does the boy know what this Conduit is?" the turian asks, his eyes burrowing into me.
"Don't know. The guy never mentioned a Conduit before. Just went on about our 'inevitable genocide' or something like that," I respond, shrugging.
"Saren thinks it can bring back the Reapers," Shepard interjects. "That's bad enough."
The turian councilor snorts in derision. Prick. "Listen to what you're saying. Saren wants to bring back the race that wiped out the galaxy once already? Impossible, it has to be!"
Oh, wait for it. He's on a roll.
"Where did the Reapers go? Why did they leave? How come we've found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we'd have found something!" he continued.
Well, to answer your questions: Dark space, to wait for the next cycle of extinction, and they're very fucking thorough. Next question?
"I tried to warn you about Saren, and you refused to listen. Don't make the same mistake twice," Shepard warns, sounding like she's getting close to losing her patience. Truthfully, I am too.
"This is different," the asari councilor states. "You proved Saren is a traitor, and that he is using the geth to look for the Conduit, but we're unsure why."
"The Reapers are obviously just a myth, commander. A convenient lie to bend the geth to Saren's will," the salarian says calmly.
I actually heard the smacking sound as Shepard's hands clenched into fists. She stepped forward aggressively as she spoke again in a snarl. "Fifty thousand years ago, the Reapers wiped out all galactic civilization. If Saren finds the Conduit, make no mistake, it will happen again!"
Oh shit, Jennifer Hale's angry voice. I think I'm getting a little turned on...
That's not creepy, right?
"Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life. His Spectre status has been revoked; he no longer has the rights or resources of one of the Council's agents," the turian says, causing me to roll my eyes.
My mouth is moving before I can stop myself.
"You must know that it'll take more than that to stop him. He was one of your best agents, and now he has his own private army. One that doesn't need to worry about sleep or food," I boldly claim.
The turian's eyes narrow, while Udina spoke up. "The boy is right! We know Saren is hiding in the Traverse, send your fleet in!" he roared.
What's with all this 'boy' bullshit, anyway? I'm eighteen for God's sake!
"A fleet cannot track down one man," the salarian retorted.
"A Citadel fleet could lock down the region and prevent the geth from attacking any more of our colonies," Udina explained, having managed to regain his relatively calm demeanor.
"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus systems!" the turian scowled. "We won't be dragged into a galactic conflict for a few dozen human colonies!"
I quickly bite down on my tongue to prevent myself from yelling at the bastard. Yeah, you won't help the humans, but I bet you'd send every damn ship you have to protect turian colonies, wouldn't you, cockbite?
"Send me after him," Shepard's powerful voice rings out, loud and clear. "I'll take Saren down."
The asari cocks her head in thought. "The commander is right. There is a way stop Saren that doesn't require fleets or armies."
Ah, here we go. Spectre time!
"No, it's too soon!" the turian declares. "Humanity isn't ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."
Shut the fuck up, you hypocrite. We're not ready? You're the one who can't get over his anti-human attitude.
"It's a win-win situation. The Council doesn't have to send a fleet into the Traverse, and the Ambassador gets his human Spectre," Shepard says calmly. "And besides, I think I've proven myself ready, don't you?"
The Councilors all look at each other, while I glance over at Garrus and Tali. I lean in quickly and whisper "You may wanna record this!"
The trio type a few commands into the consoles in front of them, while Tali readies her Omni-tool at the exact same time.
"Commander Katelyn Shepard, step forward," the asari commands.
And then, for some reason, Shepard looks over at me and throws a weak smile before doing as she was told, her face becoming serious once more as she faced the Council.
Huh, this situation is less epic without Jack Wall's amazing score playing in the background. Well, I always said the problem with reality is the lack of background music. Guess that applies to video game realities too.
"It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel," the asari began.
And the speech begins.
Salarian Councilor: "Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."
Asari Councilor: "Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."
Turian Councilor (aka Captain Dickhole): "Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."
Damn, I know I've seen this at least a dozen times, but it's so much different in real life than it is watching it from a TV screen.
"You are the first human Spectre, commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species," the asari finishes.
"I'm honored, Councilor," Shepard responds, bowing in gratitude. Ah, such manners. Udina, take notes!
"We know Saren is in the Traverse, and as a Spectre, you are authorized to do whatever it take to bring him to justice," the salarian says.
Shepard smirked confidently. "I'll find him."
With that, the meeting is adjourned, and Shepard turns back the rest of us.
And while the commander chatted with Udina and Anderson about supplies needed for the upcoming hunt for Saren, I turn to talk to Tali and Garrus.
"Did you get all that?" I asked.
The quarian girl nodded. "Yes, the whole thing."
I grin almost evilly. "Upload it to the extranet. See how many hits the first human Spectre gets in a day."
"Hm, that ought to be interesting," Garrus says, his mandibles twitching.
"Alright," Tali says amicably, pushing a few buttons on her 'tool.
I chuckled lightly and turned, only to almost jump back in surprise as I saw Shepard standing there a few inches away from me, arms folded over her chest and her eyebrow raised in amusement.
"So, first human Spectre," I begin teasingly. "Hope you remember to give a little credit to the motley crew who brought you the evidence. You know, make sure you don't forget to put us in your best-selling autobriography."
The commander laughed lightly at that. "Believe me, I don't think I'll ever forget the sight of the four of you walking into the Embassy. One of the weirdest moments of my life."
I couldn't stop myself from grinning. "Well, Spectre, care to lead us to the ship?"
"My pleasure, Mr. Crowe," she responded, just as sardonically, though still smiling.
"Just call me Matt. Everyone else does," I say.
She shrugged. "Alright. Matt it is."
Oh yeah, I think me and Shepard are gonna get along just fine.
Okay, I know I said Matt was gonna be on the Normandy in this chapter, but the word count got away from me. And I know there wasn't really action in this chapter, but that's gonna change soon. So next chapter is the first time on the ship, Matt's check-up with Chakwas (what could happen?), and the beginning of his training. It's gonna be brutal!