Past squabbles
The wolf was uneasy. She did sit though. That was a win.
The Reverend Mother smiled at her, but it was melancholy. She slowly shook her head. "I remember being taught about you. What happened to you. But seeing you." She took a deep breath. "I am sorry."
"Everyone is sorry!" Kat snapped. "Everyone is always so fricking sorry! I don't want sorry! I want an end! Can you do that?"
"I don't know." The leader of the Clergy replied honestly. Kat stared at her and then forced herself to relax a little. "If you were human or Tenno, the answer would be yes, but you are not." Katerina made a noise of grief and the Reverend Mother shook her head. "She doesn't want pity, Sister Katerina and you know it. Be calm."
"Yes, Reverend Mother." The bound shade said with a nod.
"What were you taught about me?" Kat asked after a moment's thought.
"You were a soldier who had something horrible done to you." The Reverend Mother said with a nod. "It didn't kill you. It made you faster, stronger and far more resilient than a normal human, but in the end, you were still human. Not like Katerina became and I was made to be." She slowly shook her head.
"'Made'?" Kat asked, her face shocked.
"Yeah." The Reverend Mother grimaced. "You missed a lot and very little of it good. Yes. I was made. I don't know if I was cloned originally or rebuilt from a human 'volunteer'…." She made air quotes around that word. "...or whatever. There are no records that anyone can find. But one thing I do know. I know I was made to be a weapon. The original Tenno did not take kindly to the Orokin doing that."
"I bet not." Kat swallowed hard. "Orokin. I remember… some..." Her gaze was far away. "I woke up a few times and tried to run. I never got far before they grabbed me and put me back to sleep. Things didn't make a lot of sense to me. Golden buildings? Golden people?" Both clergywomen nodded. "Talia managed it?" She asked, incredulous.
"Yeah, she did." The Reverend Mother sighed deeply. "It took her a long, long time, but she managed to build a golden society. And like any human built creation, it worked for a while. A long while indeed, but then it did what all human empires eventually do. It came apart at the seams. We call what happened the Collapse and what is left of humanity is still trying to recover."
"Oh." Kat shook her head. "Well, if you can't help me..."
"I didn't say that." The Reverend Mother interrupted her firmly enough that Kat jerked back. "I said I don't know if I can. If we can. Maybe we can't. But we have to try."
"Why?" Kat asked, her tone soft.
"Because leaving you in an electronic limbo is what the Orokin would have done." The leader of the Clergy said with a growl. "I am not Orokin. I am not a self centered, egotistical piece of shit." Kat stared at her, wide eyed and the Reverend Mother slumped a bit. "Orokin destroyed itself but it was helped greatly by the fact that they tried to turn their new weapons, people like me, into slaves." At that, Kat recoiled and the Reverend Mother nodded. "That didn't work out so well for them."
"Ouch." Kat gulped. "I saw what happened when Tenno got pissed a few times. One time when I woke, they tried to undo the change and I was awake for a while. I saw what happened to Nyx, that scum Rasputin tried to enslave her. Did she…? I don't remember if she recovered." Her face was ashen now.
"She did." The Reverend Mother reassured the free shade. Then she grinned. "Recovered enough to have a kid."
"Oh." Kat made a face and both women looked at her. "That was why the people who captured me did what they did to me. They wanted me to be a mother. No matter my own wishes."
"Bastards." Katerina snapped, but subsided when the other clergywoman looked at her. "Sorry."
"Stop saying that." The Reverend Mother said mildly. "She does not want pity."
"That doesn't change the fact that I feel for my friend!" Katerina retorted. "Or must I shut off all of my emotions?"
The Reverend Mother groaned. It was so heartfelt that Kat actually grinned at her. The gray shade relaxed completely but then she shook her head. Both others waited for her to speak.
"I feel uneasy." Kat said after a moment. "Like I need to run. But if I do, he is waiting." She couldn't keep the fear out of her voice.
"What happened to you altered your mind in a number of ways." The Reverend Mother said quietly. "You ceased to be the human woman known as Katherine Keras and became the being known as Kat. From what I was taught, you empathized with wolves, furred predators from Earth." Kat nodded. "No one ever said why. I barely know what a wolf was, just that they had fur, hunted and howled. They went extinct millennia before Orokin fell."
"I don't remember entirely." Kat admitted. "But it was a psychological thing. A way to become stronger. To fight better. To release the shackles of civilization and embrace the animal that lurked in my heart."
"Interesting." The Reverend Mother pursed her lips in though. "You think. You can plan. But deep down, in your heart, you think like an animal, not a woman." Kat nodded again. "And any animal wants to be free. Free to run and hunt or whatever." Kat looked at the floor. "We will not cage you." She promised.
"But..." Kat stammered. "I can't leave. If I do, he will take me back."
"No, you can't." The Reverend Mother said with a grim nod. "But this Convent is not the entirety of our colony." She reassured the other. "Tell me, do you have any problems dealing with others? With humans?"
"Not that I know of." Kat admitted. "The few times I interacted with humans while I was loose were limited. I had to flee."
"Well, now, you don't have to." The Reverend Mother reassured her. She made a face. "I need to get back. I need to-"
"You need to sleep!" Katerina said with a growl so fervent that Kat stared at her in shock. "You are not Tenno anymore! You must not push yourself so hard." She snapped at the Reverend Mother who would not meet her eyes. "And you know it. You know what the docs have told you. You are not energy and if that meat body dies, you do too."
Kat stared from one to the other, hope dawning, and the Reverend Mother nodded, her face grim.
"Thank you for spilling that secret, Katerina. I will work to find an appropriate punishment for you." The Reverend Mother said with a growl and Katerina looked suddenly worried. The Reverend Mother held up a hand when Kat opened her mouth. "I don't know if what was done for me would work for you. I was a special case and they had no idea if it would work. They were rushed and if anything had gone wrong, I could have easily become a ravening monster, killing for its own sake and the need to assuage my bloodlust. I have seen far too many go that way, Kat. I give you my word, that if we can get it to work for you safely, we will. You have suffered enough."
"I know the feeling." Kat said weakly. Both woman stiffened and she nodded. "The wolf inside me wants to hunt, to kill, to feed. But I… I… I don't want to!" She stammered, undone.
"May I touch you?" The Reverend Mother asked. Kat stared at her and the Clergy leader smiled. "I have some tricks." Katerina scoffed at that and the Reverend Mother snarled humorously. "You hush."
Kat stared at her and then nodded slowly. The Reverend Mother reach out and took the gray shade's right hand in both of her own. Kat stared at it and then tears started falling.
"Only shades could touch me and… Most tried to be kind, but..." Kat said through her sobs.
"We will not bind you." The Reverend Mother promised as she pulled the crying shade into an embrace and held her as she sobbed. "Unless you prove yourself a danger to me or mine, I will not cast you out. We offered you sanctuary and we will abide by our oaths. You are a literal lost soul and the Clergy are here to help lost souls. You can leave anytime, but you know what will happen if you do." She gave Kat a squeeze.
"The wolf wants to run." Kat said weakly. "I don't know if I can stop her."
"Is there one mind in your head or two?" The Reverend Mother asked. Kat stared at her, but she was totally serious. "It can be weird, I know. I had two distinct minds in my own head once." She made a face. "Small wonder people thought I was insane." Katerina looked like she had swallowed a bug as she fought to keep from laughing and the Reverend Mother's face turned stern. "Hush!"
"I didn't say a word!" Katerina said quickly. Kat snickered at the look on her face, fear mixed with amusement.
"Good, don't." The Reverend Mother said repressively, but the corners of her mouth were turning up. "Kat, you can stay here for as long as you wish. In that form, you don't use resources. You don't take up space. You don't need much at all. I am the only one who can hold you like this and my time is always short. But you have suffered. It wasn't anything that anyone apparently planned but..." She trailed off as Kat made a sad noise.
"Thank you." Kay said as she slowly reached up and hugged the Clergywoman back. "It has been so long. I forget what a kind touch felt like. Stasia..." She murmured. "I remember the name and a kind voice but no more. She is dead, isn't she?"
"Almost certainly." The Reverend Mother said sadly. "It has been a very long time. I don't know how long. Orokin had its own means of telling time. I could probably find out exactly how long it has been, but frankly? I don't have the guts. With everything else? I don't want to know. After the Collapse, I slept until I was needed again. Then I became the Reverend Mother and my life went totally crazy."
"I feel so alone." Kat said weakly.
"You are not alone!" Katerina said firmly. Why did Kat flinch from that? "Kat?"
"I don't know." Kat frowned, but her face was easing. "That phrase. Something in that phrase. Sad? Kind? Angry? Lonely? I… I don't know."
"Well, if we can help it, you will not be alone." The Reverend Mother said firmly as she squeezed once more and released the shade. "Can you alter your form?" Kat looked at her and the Reverend Mother grinned. "That attire is not the current fashion."
"Reverend Mother!" Katerina protested, but paused as Kat smiled and her form shifted. Suddenly she was wearing a habit like the Reverend Mother's, if gray instead of blue and black.
"Sister Katerina has to stay here." The senior Clergywoman said firmly. "She is both stuck and sick. You don't have to." Katerina wilted and the Reverend Mother's smile turned vicious. "Oh, don't mope, Sister Katerina. You are going to be busy." The bound shade gulped and the mouthpiece of the Clergy nodded. "You were bored. You won't be now. Mural 31, the one in the ladies restroom, is in disrepair. You will bring it in here and fix it."
"We only have 30 murals. And the restroom...?" Katerina broke off and hissed. "No! That isn't a mural! It is graffiti! Pornographic graffiti!"
"It is history." The Reverend Mother smiled grimly as Katerina growled. "If we only preserve the good, if we only remember the good, what does that make us?"
"Stupid." Kat said firmly. The Reverend Mother nodded to her. "I… Even if you cannot help me, thank you. I forgot what kindness was."
"Oh, I am being selfish too." The Reverend Mother said with a grin as she rose and started for the door, beckoning Kat to follow. Kat rose and looked a question as she followed the Elder clergywoman. "We have a couple of problem children in the orphanage at the moment and none of the proctors want to do what is needed to curb their excesses. They have a right to their feelings after their experiences, but they are acting out and they are disrupting everything. Would you mind scaring them a bit for me?" She asked. "We have tried gentle and they ignored it. I don't want to hurt them, and that is the way they are going. The last thing we need here is a mob of bullies."
"Reverend Mother!" Katerina begged as the door opened. "Please!"
"You will refurbish that ancient 'art'." The Reverend Mother paused at the door but did not look back. Her tone was pure command. "You will put it back in better condition than it is. You will refurbish all of the graffiti, protect them and put them all back where they were. The Convent will remain as it is." Katerina's mouth was hanging open and the Clergy leader shook her head. "Or do you want me to come up with something nastier?"
"No!" The bound shade said quickly that Kat had to snicker. Just like a sergeant, she bet the elder clergywoman had all kinds of nasty things for troublemakers to do. "I just… Kat… I hope to talk to you again."
"She is not stuck here." The Reverend Mother said with a shrug. "She can come and go as she wishes." Kat smiled at her and then nodded to Katerina.
"I will be back, my friend." Kat promised.
"I will be cleaning...filth." Katerina said sourly as the door closed.
"She spilled a secret, but that?" Kat asked as the Reverend Mother started off. "That is vicious."
"She is bored and I really don't have a lot else for her to do." The Reverend Mother sighed. "I am working on that, but for now? It will take her awhile. There are thousands of years worth of graffiti in the corners of this place."
"Remind me never to get you mad at me." Kat shuddered dramatically as they approached what had to be an elevator. "So, what do you need me to do?"
"You were a soldier." The Reverend Mother said with a smile. "You dealt with sergeants, no?"
"A bit."
"Angry sergeants?"
"Oh."
Thirty minutes later
The boy obviously didn't have any idea what was going on, but covered his fear with bravado.
"If you are going to hurt me, then hurt me!" The boy snapped as the Reverend Mother glared at him.
"Hurt you?" To all appearances, the Reverend Mother seemed truly shocked at that. "Why, Conner Z-6? Why would I hurt you? If I hurt you, you go to the hospital. The doctors and nurses there take care of you while you laze around. No, I am not going to hurt you. You are going to clean up the mess you made." She could tell the moment that Kat showed herself behind her. The boy's eyes went huge. The gray shade had lots of skill in altering her form. She had shown the Reverend Mother a couple of things that had frankly scared the Clergywoman. "This is Sister Kat. She will be supervising your cleaning of the mess hall."
"What- Uh..." The boy stammered. Then again, seeing a woman in a Clergy habit with a wolf's head in place of her own was terrifying. Which was, of course, the whole point.
"Don't you dare make a mess in the Reverend Mother's office!" Kat's quiet voice was all growls. The Reverend Mother fought hard to keep her face stern. She so wanted to laugh at the arrogant bully's sudden terror. "You threw food on Alina G-90. It was caught by three cameras. Do not deny it." She snapped as the boy opened his mouth to protest. "You are one step away from being sent to re-education."
Neither of the woman wanted that. Conner Z-6 wasn't a bad kid. He had just been dealt a bad hand in life. Bad parents, bad friends. He had been scooped up by Corpus Social Services when he had tried to rob an automated teller machine and the Clergy had gotten involved when the mess that was his family had come to light. His skill with mechanical devices was impressive for a nine year old, but his attitude needed serious adjusting. Good thing Kat remembered a few sergeants.
"Let them." Conner Z-6 said with a grow of his own. "You know that is where I will end up."
"Do I?" Kat stepped forward, and the Reverend Mother felt a wash of fear that she suppressed. When she was trying? Kat was scary as hell. "And is that what you want? To forget who and what you are?"
"Yes!" Conner Z-6 said quickly and then blanched.
"You want the pain to go away." Kat said quietly and her head shifted back to look human. "You want the memories to fade. You want to be yourself, not what someone else wishes you to be." The boy nodded jerkily. "Wiping your mind won't help that boy."
It wouldn't actually. The emotions were deep seated and the chemicals that made up memory were hard coded into his bones. They could fix that, ease him into anew life. But it would take time. A mindwipe might not work and even if it did? He would have emotional problems for the rest of his life. If they could get through to him now? They could help him. If not? He was doomed to a sorry, sad life. At least he would never be like his mom. That woman had been mindwiped for her crimes against her husband and son.
"What do you know?" The boy tried to bluster. A mistake. Kat's head shifted again, back to wolf.
"I know if you don't do exactly what the Reverend Mother tells you when she tells you...Well... " Kat growled again, low and dangerous. "I am hungry."
The boy stared at her and then he fainted.
"Too much?" Kat asked as her head shifted back to human. The Reverend Mother was at the boy's side, checking his vitals and his mind all at once. She smiled.
"No. Just enough to shock him out of his certainty without causing long term harm." The nun smiled wide. "Even if you don't stay, I like your methods."
"You are weird."
"Well, duh."