A/N: Welcome to Chapter 4! Thank you all so much for the great reviews. They mean the absolute world to me! I'm so sorry for the super long wait on this, but... There's an (rather long) explanation at the bottom!

Now, on to the chapter!

Eye Don't Know Who's Crazier

Lucy sighed heavily as they walked away from the Council building. They would have to stay the night in town and leave the next day to head back to the guild, since the final train for the night had already left. She could already tell it was going to be a long night when she also found out that this god forsaken town essentially closed down at nightfall. They could either trek all the way across town to the single bar that was open, and hope to get some halfway decent food, or just head to a hotel and hope they had an available room.

She and Cobra walked in complete silence, which, oddly enough, was rather calming. She had grown so accustomed to Natsu and Gray constantly bickering, Happy's taunts, and Erza's… Erza-ness… that having total silence around her while being in someone's company was strange. Still, Cobra didn't seem to be in the talking mood. Or maybe he didn't talk much in general when he was out in public. He'd been pretty talkative while they were in the interrogation room, but he'd been a prisoner then. It was a possibility that he talked to her simply because there was someone for him to talk to.

Lucy smiled when she saw a hotel that had a vacancy sign up, and her steps quickened as they drew nearer to its entrance. She was starving, and needed a bath to de-stress from the day. All of that paperwork had been a cruel form of torture, and the fact that she was forced to think back on the things that her father had taught her had pain spearing through her heart. She had forced it to the background earlier, and knew that it was only a matter of time before it came rushing back to the forefront of her consciousness. She just hoped that she was actually alone when it happened.

Cobra pulled Lucy to a stop before she was able to open the door to the hotel's lobby. When she turned to look at him in question, without a single fucking ounce of fear in her questioning gaze, he said, "Not this one."

She frowned. "Why?"

"Because there's five different people inside that are bitching about it being overpriced for shitty rooms."

Lucy blinked in surprise and turned to look back up at the building. It looked like every other hotel that she and her team stayed in while they were out on missions. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with it at all. A quick glance around showed her that there weren't any other places they could go.

"There's one three blocks away," Cobra sighed. When she turned to look at him again, he smirked at her. "Unless you feel like paying for a room with no running water."

She blanched and shook her head while backing away from the door. "Hell no. Do you know where this other place is at?" At his nod, she sighed and fell into step beside him while he walked through town. Lucy was tempted to steal a glance at him several times during the walk there, but tamped it down. She'd spent hours with the guy, knew hardly anything about him aside from that one small confession that he'd made when she had backed him into a corner, and now she would be spending the night with him.

'Man. If only I was spending the night with him like that. I bet he's a damn beast in the sack… God, Lucy. You need to get laid. Looks like I'll be adding that to my to-do list in the next week. Operation Dildo Replacement.'

Cobra smirked when the hotel was in view. He hadn't considered the fact that he would actually be spending a night with the busty blonde. Sure, her thoughts were pretty much a nonstop commentary from multiple perspectives - which, he was determined to figure out just how the fuck she pulled that off - but if she gave him any indication that she wanted to get a proper fuck, he wouldn't hesitate to jump her bones. Thoughts were one thing; everyone had that perverted portion of themselves that they tended to ignore. The only way he'd make a move was more than just her thinking about it in passing. Intent was essential. He was a lot of things, and used his Soul Listening magic in plenty of ways to take advantage of people, but that was one line he always refused to cross.

Lucy pulled the door to the modest hotel open and walked right up to the front desk, smiling brightly at the little old woman. "Hello, ma'am. My friend and I would like to get a room. Preferably one with two beds?"

"Just for tonight?"

"Yes, ma'am. We were delayed at the Magic Council, so we missed the train," Lucy said with a small chuckle of embarrassment. "We'll be leaving in the morning to head back to our guild."

The old woman smiled back at the sweet and polite young blonde, then gave her handsome companion a quick once over before turning to get the keys for the room that met her specifications. After receiving the money for the room, she handed the keys over and said, "Checkout is at eleven o'clock, in case you two decide to get a little more rest before leaving."

Lucy grinned and politely thanked the clerk as she took the room keys. 'Room 202,' she thought while reading the small keychain and heading toward the stairs with Cobra right behind her.

'Oh dear. I gave her the wrong key. Oh well, I'm sure they won't mind. They're getting a good deal for that one.'

Cobra followed Lucy up the stairs and bit his lips to hide his amusement. He couldn't wait to see how the blonde would react when she saw where they would be staying for the night. He really didn't give a shit either way, since he knew that this place would be a hell of a lot more comfortable than sleeping in that damn cell. A glance up as they ascended the stairs had him rethinking this shit actually being a good idea. 'Holy fucking hell, her skirt is short...' For the first time in quite a while, Cobra found himself having to contain his drool when he saw her skirt sway to the side, baring the bottoms of her deliciously rounded cheeks for only a moment. And then another when she took her next step. He was torn between hating her choice of clothing for making him have to struggle to control himself, and wishing that they had gotten a room on a higher floor so he could stare at her ass longer.

"Quit staring at my ass, Cobra," Lucy said, never taking her eyes from her path. When he scoffed, she gave him an answering snort. "I'm not an idiot. I know that's what you're doing back there."

"Hate to break it to you, Blondie," Cobra growled, "Not everyone's interested in your ass. Metaphorically or literally."

"Uh-huh." Lucy turned and opened the door for the second floor, then walked over to the room they would be staying in. Sending out a silent prayer that there was nothing wrong with it, she opened the door and turned the lights on. Then came to a crashing halt when she saw that there was only one bed. 'Oh fuck me. Fuck fuck fuck. This can't be happening!'

"You gonna keep goin'?" Cobra asked gruffly, shouldering past the stunned blonde when she just kept standing there. It took everything in him to keep his laughter to himself, and instead he let a small, devious smirk pull up one corner of his lips. "It's the only room they have, so just suck it up." No way in hell was he going to tell her that there were actually several vacant rooms in the hotel that had two beds. Or that one just so happened to be in the room right next to theirs. Not when he could have so much more fun fucking with the little blonde about having to share a bed.

"O-Okay," Lucy said weakly as she shut the door behind her. She walked through the room and sighed when she realized that Cobra had commandeered the bathroom, and that the shower was running. At least it would give her some time to figure out how they would make this single bed situation work. And she needed to find some semblance of food before her stomach decided to start cannibalizing itself. It would probably be best to start with the food. With her plan firmly in place, Lucy walked into the small kitchenette that consisted of a hot plate, a counter, and a mini fridge. There was no food though. "Well, damnit…" she muttered turning back and sprawling out on the king-sized bed with a huff.

For his part, Cobra wanted to get a fucking shower. He vaguely remembered some woman bathing him while he'd been out of it, and getting his ass shocked again while he was still under the shower's spray, but he could still feel some grit in his hair. Or maybe he just mentally needed to clean his own damn body. Regardless of the reason, it gave him a chance to make himself relax a little concerning having to sleep anywhere near someone he didn't know. It had been years since he'd slept by a stranger, not since he was locked in the Tower, and for the first time in his life, he would be next to a woman with a rocking fucking body. Crazy as hell from what he'd already heard during the day, but no less sexy. And damn it all if that didn't piss him right the hell off.

How the hell was he supposed to sleep? Aside from her being physically attractive, he would hear what she was thinking about, even what she was dreaming about. Granted, part of him considered waiting until she was wracked the hell out and then making a break for it. Except, if he did that, then he'd be a wanted man again. It was a better choice to just go along with this probationary shit, pretend to be the good guy, and then get the Seis out of prison as soon as he fucking could. Then they could do whatever the hell they wanted. They would be free. He sighed in resignation, and dare he say contentment, as the steaming water beat down on him. He had never been one for taking long showers, but he was damn well going to enjoy it now that he had access to hot water.

Once he was finished, Cobra spent only another minute in the shower before turning it off and toweling himself off. It wasn't even a question about what he would wear to bed. He'd spent enough time sleeping on the go, so crashing in the clothes the Council had provided him with was fine by him. He'd keep the jacket and shoes off though. Once he was redressed in the black pants and black long sleeve undershirt, he decided that he was covered enough. He quickly rolled up the maroon shirt and black socks inside of his jacket and walked out of the bathroom only to pause when he saw Lucy talking with a pink-haired maid.

"Thank you so much, Virgo," Lucy said with a smile. "Really, you're the best."

"It's no trouble, Princess," Virgo replied with a small bow, her shackles rattling softly in the otherwise silent room. Movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she glanced over to see Lucy's companion placing a rolled up jacket in the corner of the room. 'So he's the one my Princess will be sleeping with tonight. I can see why Leo's so upset over it. I'd let him punish me in an instant.'

Cobra blinked and slowly turned to face Lucy and the spirit, then felt his lip twitch before becoming a full-on sneer when he saw the heavy shackles around the maid's wrists. He fucking hated shackles. Especially ones that rattled like that. It only served to remind him of the times he was locked in solitary with Brain. Still, he knew from experience with Angel that there were certain quirks about celestial spirits. Apparently shackles were this one's. Joy. There were two things warring for her attention: Lucy and being punished in some seriously masochistic shit. Preferably by the blonde, apparently.

"Cobra, this is Virgo," Lucy said softly. "She brought us some food."

'And she brought me a fucking nightgown that I will not be wearing! Honestly, if I was trying to get laid that'd be one thing, but I'm not gonna wear see-through lace to bed with a stranger here! Even though I can already picture him tearing it off of me… Oh god, shut up!'

"Uh-huh." Cobra walked over to the small table and took the open seat, warily eyeing the plates and drinks.

Lucy rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. "It's not poisoned, ass…" Lucy paused and tilted her head to the side. A Poison Dragon Slayer would actually want his food to be poisoned, wouldn't he? That would be his element, and he'd need to consume that on a regular basis. "Virgo?"

Virgo's lips twitched and she disappeared, then reappeared only a moment later with a special cleaning agent she used in her own home. It was harmful to spirits if they ingested it, and downright deadly if a human ever were to get their hands on it. She set the bottle down on the table, then bowed to Lucy. "Punishment, Princess?"

Lucy smiled softly up at her spirit. "No, Virgo."

Cobra shook his head when he saw a small bit of excitement in Virgo's eyes just before she disappeared back to the Spirit World. That one was more than a little fucked in the head. She was a damn masochist through and through, loved physical punishment in the form of canes and bondage, and she actually liked it when Lucy denied her. And from what he could tell, Lucy hadn't a fucking clue that even her denial got the spirit going.

Lucy sighed and looked over at Cobra again, then kicked his leg under the table with a smirk. "Eat. She brought you some poison too. Besides, I still have to tell you about what's gonna happen tomorrow."

Cobra watched as Lucy took a small bite of her food, then just decided to go with the flow. He hadn't found anything in her that would indicate she was going to try and fuck him over. Especially not when she had fought so diligently to make sure he wasn't completely screwed during his probation. He took a small bite of the food that was sitting in front of him, then actually let his eye close when he sighed. This shit was so much fucking better than what he'd been eating lately.

'Wow, a Slayer that can eat with manners. Whodathunkit! Well, I've never seen Laxus eat… I don't think. Then again, he wasn't actually raised by dragons. He just got that lacrima. I'm sure Master would have forced at least some semblance of manners on him though.'

"Just because I'm a criminal doesn't mean I can't control myself."

Lucy jolted in surprise, then flushed when she realized he'd been listening in on her thoughts. "No, that's not it," she said quickly. "I'm just used to Natsu being a slob. Gajeel's better though. He at least uses a napkin."

"Uh-huh. So what's this shit situation I've gotten myself into, Blondie?"

"Right," Lucy said with a nod. She carefully wiped her mouth and took a sip of water. "So, you'll be on parole as a member of Fairy Tail for the next five years. The Council can, at any time, review your case and decide that you've met their requirements to end your parole early, meaning you won't have to go back to prison. At the end of five years, you'll have to go down for a review, and they'll decide whether they're extending it, or setting you free. During the review, you'll have an opportunity to speak for yourself concerning your parole, and they've agreed to take your statement, along with an officiant statement from Fairy Tail, into consideration while deliberating their course of action."

Cobra nodded.

"For the first three months, you'll get a check from the Council to help with living expenses. Your first one should be at the guild when we get there tomorrow. As a member of Fairy Tail, you'll have to go on job requests to make money, but I'm sure Master has something in mind as far as getting you situated in your own place. If not, then I'm willing to help you look for a place and get you settled." Lucy paused and took a bite of her food. "Oh... And you've been assigned to Team Natsu."

Cobra snorted and rolled his eyes. "No fucking way am I working with Salamander."

"There's no getting around it, Cobra," Lucy sighed. "Natsu, Erza, Gray, Happy, and myself make up Team Natsu. You're on our team because the Council needs to have a group that can incapacitate you, should you decide to blow a head gasket and try slaughtering everyone."

"They got lucky," Cobra growled. "It won't fucking happen again."

Lucy's eyes hardened, and she slowly set her fork down on her plate. "Cobra. You said you wanted freedom. And that you wanted to make your own choices in life. No one else was exactly pleased with the situation when we were told about it. Hell, Natsu's just as against you joining the guild, let alone the team, as you are. You're getting this chance, so don't fuck it up by going on a rampage just because you're out of prison now."

"I'm not planning on it, Blondie. I'm just saying that Sriracha Dick and Hammer Time won't win if we end up fighting." Cobra sighed and sat back in his chair, shaking his head while he looked at the half-empty plate in front of him. "Trust me, I'm glad I'm out of prison. And I sure as hell don't wanna get locked up again."

"Then it looks like you'll have to suck it up," Lucy said with a small smile. "Yes, you've still got some orders that you have to follow, because you're on parole, but when your parole is finished, you'll have even fewer restrictions on you. For now, you're stuck with the team. We had just as much say in it as you did. Erza's gonna be keeping an eye on you, but she's Erza. Gray says he doesn't like it, but he's following orders. Happy, Natsu's Exceed, just hopes you won't hurt anyone. Natsu… Well…"

Cobra rolled his eye. "Yeah, I haven't deluded myself into thinking I'll be getting a warm reception, Tits."

"Well, I'm on your side, Cobra," Lucy said softly. "I came down here because I wanted to see for myself what kind of person you really are. I didn't want to just take what Natsu and Erza have said about their fights with you as an indication of who you are. It's why Master made me the deciding factor in all this, I guess. The others might not be too jazzed up about this, but you've got my support. And you've got Master Makarov's."

He didn't really see why either of them would be willing to vouch for him. They didn't know the first thing about him, but they were accepting him as though he hadn't tried to kill all of them. He didn't really know what to say about all of this. He couldn't understand why the guild's master would give a flying fuck about whether or not he was free, or why Lucy would for that matter. "Why?" It was the only response he could come up with, the only thing that wouldn't show just how little he understood about what was happening.

"Because, unlike you," Lucy said with a smirk, "We believe in giving people second chances. Real second chances. You have to be willing to work for it so others can see what I already do, but we'll help you out. You were honest with me when you told me what you really wanted. It showed me that you're capable of opening up, even a little bit, when given the proper motivation. I still have no idea how I got you to admit that about yourself, but you did it. That's what matters most."

'And he didn't try to skin me alive right when I walked into the room… That was a definite plus for his case.'

"Well…" Cobra said slowly, leaning forward and taking another bite of his meal. "Alright then."

"I feel like I should let you know though," Lucy said with a grimace. "The team can get a little… Overly excited?"

Cobra raised an amused eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Is that a statement or a question, Jugs?"

"Both?" Lucy laughed. "They're pretty destructive, so… We don't usually get the full reward for the job. It's an even split though, no matter how much we walk away with."

Dozens of memories flitted through the little blonde, and Cobra's jaw actually dropped open. "That's more than fucking 'overly excited'," he said slowly. "I don't think I'm the one you need to worry about rampaging."

Lucy rolled her eyes and laughed again. "I'm not worried about you rampaging. To be honest, you don't look like the 'rampagey' type."

"Then what do you think I'd do?"

"Poisoning people in their sleep and slipping out the window seems more like your cup of tea."

A wicked smirk played across his face. The first thing that came to mind for her, the most logical choice, and what he'd actually considered doing. Fuck, did he like how her mind worked. "You're sick. I would never do that."

"Hm," Lucy hummed in mock thought. "Maybe not. You're just as likely to poison someone while they're fully conscious. Then you can watch them squirm before you make a break for it." She watched as his smirk turned into a full blown grin filled with malice, his single eye gleaming with sadistic joy. "And on that note, now I know that not only are you capable of doing it, but you like the idea of it."

"You're goddamn right I do. I spent fucking years doing it. Sure hope you Fairies know what you got yourselves into."

"We're scrappy," Lucy shot back. "I'm sure we'll manage." She glanced down to see that both of their plates were empty, then said, "You should really have some of that poison Virgo brought."

Cobra jolted in surprise, then looked down at the bottle the spirit had brought. How the hell had he forgotten about the fucking poison that was sitting right in fucking front of him? He blamed the blonde. It had to be her fault… somehow. Without preamble, he lifted the bottle and took a small sip of it. There was no telling just how potent this shit was, since he'd never smelled anything like it before, and he wasn't going to chance overdoing it when he could make it last longer by being a tad on the reserved side. That is, until he fucking tasted it.

Cobra's mouth burned, his eye watered, and he found himself fighting against the cough that was tickling the back of his throat. It was like he'd just gotten the lacrima put in all over again. Back then, the first few months of ingesting poison had been painful, because his body had yet to adjust to the stuff after it stopped rejecting the lacrima. "What the…" he whispered, slowly putting the bottle back on the table while he stared at it in shock. After that initial acidic burning subsided, he was left with the strangest combination of flavors swirling around in his mouth. Lavender, hemlock, arsenic, and… mint? He could tell it wasn't actually any of those things that were in this weird fucking concoction, just that those were the only things that came to mind that he could compare it to.

"Is it… Is everything alright?" Lucy whispered.

He slowly nodded and took another sip. It didn't burn nearly as much, but damn it all if it wasn't feeding into his deep hunger for poison. The bastard guards only gave him the bare minimum while he was locked up. Just a couple ounces of bleach every other meal. He needed a hell of a lot more than that, had even told them as much, but they didn't give a shit what he needed. "What the hell is this shit?"

Lucy tilted her head to the side, then shrugged. "I dunno. What does the bottle say?"

Cobra took another sip of the poisonous cocktail, then peered at the bottle. "You're shitting me," he whispered. "It's all-purpose cleaner..." His tongue and lips had gone slightly numb, but his body was already thrumming with energy. Much more than he'd had in quite some time. "Where the hell did she get this?"

Lucy stood up and grabbed the empty plates, then peered down at the bottle. She smiled and shook her head while walking to the trash can. "From the Spirit World," she laughed.

"Damn," he whispered. Cobra decided to take one full swig of the stuff before he capped the bottle for later. He didn't know when he would be able to pick up some shit of his own, and he had a feeling that this was going to have him feeling absolutely fucking fabulous soon.

'Ugh. What am I supposed to do about this sleeping situation?!' Lucy definitely didn't want to share a bed with a man she knew almost nothing about. Well, she didn't want to sleep next to one. There had been several nights she'd spent the night with someone she knew next to nothing about, but there had been a severe lack of resting going on. And that was not happening with Cobra, regardless of what her inner man-eating succubus was saying on the matter.

There were only two guys she had ever actually slept next to. Natsu had repeatedly broken into her home and crawled into her bed, much to her eternal annoyance, and Gray had actually fallen asleep with her after their one night of romping in the sack a few weeks after she joined the guild. At least Natsu didn't also try to get into her pants. That was one of the reasons she didn't tell Erza about it. He just wanted someone to cuddle with.

Still, Lucy hadn't a clue what to do in this situation. Finally, she decided that there was absolutely no way she would sleep in the bed with Cobra. She didn't have anything against him, and she didn't necessarily distrust him, she just... Well, she didn't know what her reasoning was.

"Calm your tits," Cobra said as he walked over to his rolled up jacket and took a seat on the floor. "I'll sleep over here. I really don't fucking care." Personally, he would much rather sleep in the bed, but if giving in and letting the blonde take it without any argument would get her mind to stop branching off in twenty different directions, then he was more than happy to fucking do it. That shit was starting to give him a headache.

Lucy blinked in surprise, then promptly closed her gaping maw and locked herself in the bathroom. She still needed that bath, after all. It was while Lucy was soaking in the bath that she started feeling guilty about taking the bed for herself. Sure, Cobra had pretty much made the decision for her when he actually offered to just sleep on the floor, but she was sure they they could figure something out so he didn't have to be uncomfortable.

Lucy spent the entire time in the bathroom mulling over the situation again. Then, when she walked out dressed in her clothes from the day, the sight of Cobra so easily laying on the floor made her pause. And something occurred to her. Cobra had been locked in his cell for months, and she highly doubted that they provided prisoners with a proper bed. His eye was closed, his hands were on his stomach with his fingers laced together, and he was using his jacket as a pillow. She didn't know when the last time was that he would have had a chance to sleep in a bed.

"Carpet is more comfortable than stone. Just go the fuck to sleep already."

Lucy jolted at the sudden sound of his voice, then flushed with embarrassment. That statement alone proved that she needed to just sac up and deal with this. She could be an adult and just get the hell over it. It's not like Cobra was going to take advantage of her. He would have done it already if that was the case, like while she was taking a bath.

Cobra's eye slid open when he heard Lucy's keys jingling softly, and he looked over with a raised brow and a whole slew of insults at the ready when a pink puff of smoke appeared. His mouth clamped shut right away when he saw which spirit came out though.

Lucy smiled gently. "Hi, Aries. Could you do me a favor?"

"I-I'll try my best... I-I'm sorry..."

Great. This one. Cobra remembered when Angel came back with Aries' key. The spirit had been timid before, but after Angel's talons were sunk into her... She had become nothing more than an apologetic blubbering mess more often than not. And that only served to make Angel rip into her twice as often. He hadn't really given a shit at the time, since it was Angel's business to begin with, but he couldn't help but watch curiously as Lucy and the Ram spirit interacted.

"Thank you so much, Aries," Lucy said with a wide grin. "I know you'll do an amazing job."

'Of course I will. I'd do anything for you, Princess. You're so good to me and the others. You have no idea how much we all appreciate what you do for us. Anything to make you smile like this.'

"So, I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle here. There's only one bed, but it's big enough for me and Cobra to-"

Aries froze, a full-body shiver taking over her, and her eyes quickly darted around the room until they landed on the maroon-haired mage lying on the floor. 'No... Not him... Oh stars... Does that mean she's here too?! No... No I don't want to go back to her. Please...' She watched as he scowled and slowly sat up, and Aries swiftly cowered behind Lucy while she tried to keep herself even remotely calm. It didn't work in the slightest. She wanted to just force her gate closed, but Lucy might need her help. She couldn't just abandon Lucy. Not after everything the sweet blonde had done for her and the others.

As the first stirrings of a sob echoed through the room, Lucy whirled around and looked down at Aries' teary and fear-filled eyes. Her arms shot out and wrapped around her spirit, pulling her closer. "Hey, it's okay," she whispered soothingly, her fingers running through the soft pink hair that was so warm and inviting. "I won't let anyone hurt you, Aries."

"I-I'm s-s-sorry, P-Princess," Aries cried, clutching tightly to the blonde. "D-Did I make you m-m-mad? I-I'm sorry..." She remembered very well just how twisted Angel was, and how her friends had simply watched while the mage abused her spirits in any way she saw fit. Karen had been cruel, but Angel... She was an absolute monster. And Cobra had been one of the ones that watched it all unfold, and he hadn't tried to stop her. She had even been forced to spar against him several times, with Angel ordering her to see how potent his poison was by not blocking.

"I'm not mad, Aries," Lucy whispered. "I'm worried. What's wrong? Why are you upset?"

Cobra leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest while he watched Lucy and Aries. The blonde was completely different from Angel when it came to her spirits. She asked for their help, thanked them, and in this particular instance, comforted them. He vaguely remembered the times that he had been forced to use his poison on Aries. Brain had wanted to see how much his magic had progressed, and that meant he had to give it his all. If he didn't, then he would have been locked up as punishment. He hadn't enjoyed hurting her in the slightest, but that was because his poison didn't actually kill her. That, and he hadn't gained a penchant for enjoying suffering nearly as much by then. That hadn't really happened until he lost Cubellios.

"Please, Princess. I-I'll do whatever you w-want!" Aries sobbed. "I-I'm so s-sorry!"

Lucy's brow pushed together while she carefully lowered her spirit to the floor. She couldn't understand what had gotten Aries to this state. Sure, she was timid. She stuttered and apologized after nearly every sentence, but that was slowly disappearing the longer they were together. So what had caused the sweet spirit to break down like this?

"That would be me," Cobra said.

His statement was only confirmed when Aries squeaked and curled herself further into Lucy's embrace. Lucy turned a baleful glare that was tinged with questions at the Slayer. "What happened?"

Cobra shrugged blithely. "Angel was a fucking cunt. I watched her act that way. Had to poison this one a few times."

"You... Poisoned her?" Lucy whispered angrily. "Why-"

"My reasons are my own. She just needed to suffer a bit before she disappeared."

"That's no reason to torture her!"

"Better her than me." Cobra shrugged again. "Angel could have told her it was okay to block instead of standing there and taking it full force, but I was just following orders." By that point in his life, he had realized that listening to what Brain told him to do was a safer bet than trying to be stubborn. The kid he used to be in the Tower was gone, and he'd truly become Cobra. It was either rebel and get tortured himself, or attack a defenseless spirit and listen to her suffering. Obviously, self-preservation was his choice.

Lucy's mouth opened to respond, until his words hit her full force. Cobra didn't sound sorry for what he'd done to Aries, not even remotely apologetic. She wasn't sure what to make of his statement though. It seemed like there was a lot he was leaving out, and it wasn't nearly enough to calm the Ram spirit down. "That's..." she said slowly as she gave him a calculating look. She just couldn't figure him out. "That's not really a good enough reason... Orders or not, you could have refused."

"I could have," Cobra nodded with a smirk. Sure, he could have told Brain to go fuck himself with scores of rusted utensils until Zero's bloodlust was sated. And Cobra would have been thrown on any number of the bastard's 'toys' for disobeying him, locked up in shackles in solitary confinement again, or made to watch him do something even fucking worse Most likely all three. "But I didn't." His single eye bored into her fiery mocha orbs, silently challenging her to do any of the things she was thinking about. Inventive and sadistic, a beautiful combination. Too bad he already knew that she bottled shit like that up and locked it away. He wouldn't get the chance to rip her to pieces when she got too close.

"Why not?"

"Because it's neither the strongest, nor the most intelligent," Cobra replied. "Malleability and adaptability is key."

'Oh, if I didn't actually give a shit about my spirits, you'd be getting several keys right down your damn urethra, you one-eyed snake fucker!' Lucy sighed and turned to look down at Aries again, then slowly lifted her spirit's chin and wiped away her tears. "Aries… Sweetie…" she whispered tenderly. "You know I won't hurt you like Angel did, right?"

Aries nodded meekly.

"Cobra's joined Fairy Tail, and he's a part of my team now," she continued. "He won't be using his poison on you again. Isn't that right, Cobra?"

He lifted a brow at her, and just waited.

'Cobra, please. She's terrified of you. You guys will have to work together in the future, so please. Just say you won't poison her again.'

He sighed and forced himself to meet Aries' timid gaze. "I have no intention of poisoning you again. Pass that shit along to the other ones that Blondie's got. Except those fucking creep-ass dolly twin shits. I fucking hate those things."

"Gemi and Mini are not things," Lucy ground out as she turned to glare at him again. "I don't care what image you've had of celestial spirits up until this point, but they have just as much right to be acknowledged for who they really are as you do. I'm extending you the same courtesy, even though you're making me question my judgment already, so I expect you to do the same. If you want people to see you as more than just some idiotic criminal that got his ass handed to him twice by the same people, then you should probably get over yourself. You're no better than they are, and you'd do well to remember that."

"Or what?" Cobra growled. "Are you gonna have my ass locked up again?"

"No," Lucy answered with a dark chuckle. "I'll have Gemini come out and tell me all your secrets. I've refused to do that with them before on principle, but I'm sure they'd be more than happy to help me."

Aries whimpered when she saw Cobra snarl, but Lucy was putting herself in harm's way. She remembered that look on the Poison Slayer's face, although he had been so much younger the last time she saw him. It was the same look he'd given her every time he'd attacked her. It was the same look that she knew she would have if she fought back when being backed into a corner instead of cowering. 'I'll fight him off if I have to. Anything to protect her.'

Cobra's eye flashed dangerously before he reined himself in. The Ram had hit the nail on the head, which was odd since he'd never heard more than her being scared shitless from the spirit. With a sneer, he turned to the table and opened the bottle Virgo had brought for him, taking a large gulp of the celestial cleaner and sighing when it burned his throat. "Touche, Ethos," he muttered. "They're not things."

"Thank you," Lucy whispered sternly before turning back to Aries, her face instantly softening. "So, like I was saying… Could you maybe make some pillows to go down the middle of the bed? That way Cobra and I can share it without being in each other's bubbles. And he won't have to sleep on the floor."

Aries blinked in surprise, then nodded quickly. Without another word, she got to work creating a fluffy set of pillows that bisected the bed. "All finished," she said with a timid smile and a sniffle. "I'm sorr-"

Lucy threw a hand lightly over Aries mouth and shook her head, smiling gently. "No need to apologize. You did great. Just like I knew you would. Thank you so much." Aries beamed and blushed behind Lucy's hand, ducking her head slightly, and Lucy leaned forward to whisper, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, Aries. I'll make sure to summon Gemini and Scorpio when I'm alone to talk to them, okay?"

Aries nodded, then sighed when Lucy hugged her again. Once the blonde let her go, Aries closed her gate and was pulled into another pair of arms. Her eyes opened to see orange hair, and she sighed while her arms wrapped around Leo's waist. "I'll be fine," she whispered. "He seems nicer than last time…"

Lucy sighed as she stood to her feet. She refused to look at Cobra while she crawled under the covers on one side of the bed, and instead chose to turn off her light and close her eyes. The bed dipped not a moment later as he did the same, and the room was bathed in darkness when he shut off the light on his nightstand. "Cobra?" she whispered softly after a few minutes of silence.

He grunted, his eye open while he stared at the ceiling.

"I don't expect you to be someone you're not, y'know. Just… My spirits are very close to me. I don't like it when people talk about them like that."

"Uh-huh."

"If I said your snake was just a thing, you'd be pissed right?"

His teeth ground together. "Immensely," he growled.

"I'm not saying it-"

"She. Not 'it'."

"Right. I'm not saying she is a thing. She's a snake," Lucy reasoned. "My spirits aren't things either. They're spirits. They mean just as much to me as she does to you, I think…"

Cobra wasn't going to tell her how wrong she was about that. Lucy didn't need to know that Cubellios was the only one in this world that had kept him even remotely sane and safe. She had given him companionship when he had no one to turn to, gave him poison when he got his lacrima, and made sure he could feel some small sense of comfort from her cool scales while she coiled around him at night. Those spirits hadn't done anything like that for Lucy. He didn't even bother listening in to find out what he already knew to be true. "Uh-huh."

"Were you telling the truth though?" Lucy mused. "You won't try to hurt Aries and the others?"

"I said I won't. Take it or leave it," Cobra replied. "Then shut the hell up and go to sleep."

Lucy nodded and rolled over to bury her face in the wall of pink fluffy pillows Aries had made. Just this small reminder of her spirit had her recalling what Cobra had said before. She thought that it hadn't been enough information, that his vague responses didn't warrant even a modicum of attention because he was simply being evasive. Still though…

"Better her than me… I was just following orders… Because it's neither the strongest, nor the most intelligent… Malleability and adaptability is key."

When Lucy put everything together that way, she realized what he'd been trying to tell her. She'd thought he was speaking in riddles, just trying to trip her up. But he was telling her exactly what she wanted to know without saying it outright. It was sneaky as hell, and not everyone would catch onto what he'd actually meant by how he'd phrased it. 'Survival,' she thought, 'Everyone does what's necessary to survive. Self-preservation by following orders. Survival of the fittest by being adaptable. Is that what you meant, Cobra?'

For his part, Cobra smirked while he rolled onto his side, resting his head against the wall of pillows from Aries. He didn't say a single word, instead choosing to keep his breathing completely even as though he'd already fallen asleep. Lucy didn't need to know that she was right, or that he'd phrased it that way to see how long it took for her to come to that conclusion. Sure, he'd told her something about his past with Brain, but it wasn't anything that she couldn't have already figured out on her own. It's not like he had openly said that there was a part of him that had always been terrified of the bastard. No, that shit was something he'd take to his fucking grave. Not a soul in this world or the next would see him as anything other than who he chose to let them see. And for now, he guessed it would be a modified version of Cobra of the Oracion Seis. Starting tomorrow, he would be Cobra of Fairy Tail. 'God, I think I'm gonna be fucking sick...'

Lucy's eyes slid open slowly to reveal a wall of pink fluff, and she found that the room was oddly silent. There was no snoring from the man on the other side of the pillow wall, no mumbling in his sleep. The shower wasn't going, and there weren't any rustling sounds from fabric shifting while he moved. Either Cobra had decided to run while she was passed out, and had taken advantage of the trust she was putting in him... Or he was just eerily silent.

"Eerily silent," Cobra said.

Lucy's head turned quickly only to find a deeply tanned face hovering several inches above hers while one indigo peered down at her. She wasn't sure how much time passed between the realization that Cobra was watching her and the ear-piercing shriek she let out, but it didn't really matter when her terror-and-surprise-induced-falsetto was accompanied by her vaulting from the bed and toppling onto the floor while dragging a good portion of the pillows down with her. Before she had time to come to terms with the sheer amount of ridiculousness that was her morning so far, a deep baritone of belly-bursting laughter came as an answer from the bed. And goddamnit was his voice insanely sexy like that.

Cobra peeked over the edge of the bed, his normal smirk firmly in place while gazing down at the flustered blonde. "That was..."

"Oh, shut it!" Lucy scowled while chucking one of the pillows at him. And missing horribly. He didn't even have to dodge... He just watched as it flew over his head.

"I should say the same to you," Cobra answered coolly while laying his head on his arms. "I'm more partial to reds and purples, but blue lace works too."

"Blue..." Lucy whispered in confusion, watching as the Slayer simply continued smirking and raised an amused eyebrow. And that was when she remembered that she'd slept in her clothes from the day. Just for good measure, Lucy lowered her gaze. Sure enough, she was spread fucking eagle in a goddamn mini skirt, and giving Cobra a perfectly uninhibited view of her blue lace thong. She shrieked and promptly shut her legs, then grabbed a pillow from the floor and put it in her lap.

"Do you have a habit of waking up and screaming your face off?"

"No!" Lucy shouted. At his pointed look, she scowled and then froze. Natsu slept in her bed nearly every night, which resulted in her yelling at him in the morning. If it wasn't her best friend and his blue furball of a foster son sleeping in her bed or eating her food, then they were raiding her drawers to peruse her unmentionables for 'proper Ninja-wear', or pranking her, or trying to burn the place down, or hiding fish in said underwear drawer. "On second thought," she sighed sadly, "I think I do... I blame Natsu."

Cobra nodded sagely. "A wise choice. And this other business of showing strangers your cookies... You should probably cut that down to a minimum. Trust me, I'm flattered that you'd offer me a glimpse of your cookie jar, but really... That was a bit forward."

"Did you just..." Lucy slowly shook her head in disbelief. She had to be dreaming right now. That was the only explanation for what was happening. Then again, if she was dreaming, then she was sure Cobra would be naked, and his face would be between her legs. A deep flush crossed her cheeks when she heard him snickering while he rolled into his back to look at the ceiling. The bastard was listening in on her! "I'm about to suffocate you with a pillow..."

"Liar."

"No," Lucy said slowly. "I really am."

"I'll believe that when I - Mmph!" Cobra's eye went wide when one of the fluffy pink pillows Aries had made was brought down over his mouth and nose. He could still breath through it, but there was a triumphant gleam in Lucy's eyes that he honestly couldn't even be pissed about. She fucking got him.

Lucy laughed smugly and leaned down until she was able to whisper in his pointed ear. "I hate liars, Cobra. But... Do you know what I hate more than that?"

He shook his head minutely, doing everything in his power to keep himself still. Hopefully she would stop breathing right in his fucking ear soon, otherwise that bit of lace wasn't going to be doing a whole lot of anything aside from lying in tatters on the floor.

"Skim milk," Lucy giggled. "It's just water... That's lying about being milk." She slowly lifted the pillow and grinned when he turned his head to look at her. "I can't stand it when liquids lie to me."

"Really... Do they do it often?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Often enough that I've started whispering threats to them on a regular basis."

"And just how the hell do you threaten a liquid?"

"Plenty of ways. Mostly it's by saying I'll be sure to use it in an enema for Master Bob..."

The mental picture that accompanied her statement had Cobra openly blanching. He didn't care that his unflappable mask had shattered. That shit was absolutely terrifying. The worst part of it all though? He couldn't tell if she was being serious about any of it. If she was joking about talking to liquids, she could still be serious about the enema thing. There was just too much ricocheting in her head for him to find out. "You're seriously fucking twisted..."

Lucy winked and stood to her feet, combing her fingers through her hair. She glanced at the clock and frowned. "It's only seven..."

"So it is." Cobra rolled back onto his stomach and watched as Lucy started picking up the few pillows that were strewn across the floor.

"Did you wake up before me?"

"Yep."

"How long have you been up for?"

Cobra tilted his head from one side to the other. "It was still dark out, so... Four thirty?"

Lucy's frown deepened. "Two and a half hours ago?"

"That would be the answer to seven o'clock minus four thirty," Cobra sighed.

'What was he doing for two and a half hours while I slept?'

Cobra groaned in frustration when her mind started running a mile a minute again. "Oi, before you get started on that shit, I was just fucking laying here. Nothing creepy. Fucking hell..."

She crossed her arms under her chest. "That's all?"

Cobra smirked and gave her a half shrug. "Unless it's creepy to watch you while you're sleeping..." That was something he actually had done. He just couldn't help it. Her dreams were fucking terrifying.

"That is fucking creepy!"

"Oh. Well, then what about sniffing you in your sleep?"

"You didn't..."

Cobra's smirk widened slightly. "I might've..." He'd thought about it, but only because he could smell her roses and dew scent wafting through the air, and he wanted more of it. Luckily, Cobra knew the meaning of self-restraint. Sort of.

"Yes, that's also creepy!" Lucy shuddered.

"Damn, then I guess I shouldn't mention that lock of your hair I took..." He hadn't. "Or that I jerked off right next to you..." Again, he'd considered it. "Twice..." Cobra watched as her mouth slowly dropped open and her face went pale. "I might've moved the pillows to do that..."

"Oh Mavis," Lucy whispered in horror, fighting the bile that was swiftly rising in the back of her throat. "That's just..."

"I'd suggest not smelling your hand," Cobra added with a dark chuckle. "Mine was too rough, and I didn't have any lotion, so it's possible that I also spit on your hand and used it to finish up round two."

"Please tell me you're joking..." Lucy whispered weakly.

Cobra chuckled and gave her a noncommittal shrug. "You could smell your hand and find out..." He really hoped she did. Just so he could laugh about this shit.

Lucy stared at her hands in horror, then whirled around and rushed off to the bathroom. She wasn't even going to test it. She threw the taps on the sink to scalding, and scrubbed her hands clean. Only when the skin was red and raw, did she finally shut off the water. It took another minute for her to regain some color in her cheeks, since she had gone white as a ghost, but when she felt a little more normal, Lucy walked back out of the bathroom.

Cobra couldn't help it. He really, truly tried to stop, but he just couldn't. Once he saw Lucy's face, he started laughing hysterically. "You... Holy fuck! You actually... believed me!" he wheezed. "Fuck, you're gullible!"

The look on Cobra's face when he saw a pillow being brought down on his head at the last possible second was more gratifying than it should have been for Lucy. Especially when he rolled off of the bed from the second pillow attack and groaned in discomfort. It was too bad he was still chuckling... Too bad for him...

"I still think it's weird that you don't have motion sickness," Lucy mused while popping a piece of gum into her mouth, then offering Cobra the pack. She and Cobra were mostly through their journey to Magnolia on the train, and they had spent almost the entire time either arguing, making fun of people, or astutely ignoring one another.

He shook his head with a raised brow. "I'm nothing like your piddly shit Slayers, Blondie." Cobra smirked and leaned his back against the window. He refused to tell her that he felt like he was about to upchuck all over the fucking place, and that the only reason he wasn't letting it happen was because of her memories of the countless times she'd witnessed other Slayers doing just that. He'd never been on a train before, and the only form of getting from point A to point B faster that he'd really used was Cubellios when she was still with him. Still, his ability to hear souls was actually coming in handy in this particular instance. He'd tucked himself away into that Logos section of Lucy's soul, listening and picturing in his mind how she would open different cabinets to access information and make connections between things.

"Well, I've heard even Laxus has motion sickness," Lucy mused. "So it's not just the first and third gen Slayers. Then again, he probably just listens to his music and ignores it…" She really couldn't wait to get to the guild. Sure, she was nervous to see how everyone would react to Cobra joining, but she loved her guild mates and missed them already. She was sure that she would be needing a spare set of clothes with the upcoming brawl she would be dragged into though. Honestly, she might as well just start getting naked before she fought people. It seemed her clothing always disappeared or was in tatters within minutes, so she figured it would save quite a bit of money if she just wore her birthday suit. 'Maybe that's why Gray is always stripping… Then again, he spends more money than I do on clothes since he's always losing it in general...'

He had no issues with Lucy getting all kinds of naked. The memories of her clothes being disintegrated, ripped, burnt, and a whole slew of other inventive ways to remove clothes filtered through his head from her soul, and he really had to give it to her. The bitch had one fine body. And apparently some of the worst fucking luck ever. "Wait… a dragon made your clothes disappear?"

"Ugh," Lucy groaned in disgust. "Yes. Zirconis. Apparently, he prefers eating women, and hates the taste of clothing. Rolling around in a bell with Natsu pressed up against me was absolutely mortifying." Lucy looked Cobra dead in the eye and added, "I think I have more nightmares about that than anything else."

"I don't blame you." Cobra sighed and looked out the window at the passing scenery. Lucy kept thinking about the guild he was about to be a part of, and he was getting tons of information on the members so systematically that he almost thought she was intentionally doing it for his sake. Except Pathos was hopping all over that shit and adding her emotions to her memories with them. She was by far, the most fucking ludicrous person he'd ever met. Ordered chaos reigned supreme within her. And to top it all off, she forgave people like no fucking other. "Is there anyone in this shithole that you haven't forgiven for trying to kill you?" he whispered.

Lucy smiled fondly when Cobra looked at her again. "If someone's sincere in their apology, looking for forgiveness, and wants to turn things around… Who am I to deny that to them?"

"Tortured…"

"Gajeel did it. And Edo-Erza. And Minerva… Jury's still out on whether or not she's sorry for it, and I haven't exactly forgiven her yet."

"... Drowned…"

"Juvia, but that wasn't so much drowning as it was knocking me out with a lack of oxygen in a bubble of water… Okay, so I kinda drowned..."

"... Possessed…"

"Bickslow almost did that. Loke and I still beat him."

"... Nearly exploded when you were turned to stone…"

She laughed. "Evergreen apologized right away. Laxus isn't like that now."

"... Burned and blackmailed…"

"Flare's actually really sweet, but she's not in the guild."

"... Locked in prison…"

"The princess apologized for the whole Eclipse thing," Lucy shrugged. "Future Rogue was really to blame for that."

"... Used a sacrifice," he finished in shock. He didn't want her forgiveness, or anyone else's for that matter, but he'd gotten it anyway.

Lucy's smile widened while looking at him. "Cobra's kind of an asshole, but I know there's some good in him somewhere. I've got faith in him."

"Pretty sure you're crazier than I am."

Lucy shrugged. "Maybe. But, I think whatever screws you have loose are gonna wobble right out of that head of yours after being in Fairy Tail for a while. It's contagious. I used to be normal."

"Great…" Cobra kept his gaze trained on the glass. "Tell me something. I still can't figure this one out."

"Sure."

"What the hell is it that makes all you Fairies so fucking gung ho about your guild?"

Lucy smiled and traced her finger over the light pink guild mark on her hand. "Well," she said softly, "Our first master Mavis always says that Fairy Tail was held together with the bond of souls that ran deeper than blood. Even now, after the passage of time, our hearts have inherited that spirit from her and the founding members. It has nothing to do with success or failure, and everything to do with those bonds we create with each other."

"That is some of the most pansy ass bullshit I've ever heard," Cobra sneered. "You're telling me that being all buddy-buddy with each other is what gives you guys any semblance of power?" He scoffed and rolled his eye. He didn't think it was possible to form the kinds of bonds she was talking about with so many people. Bonds that reached all the way down into one's soul. It took vast amounts of trust and time for shit like that to happen. "Gimme a break."

Lucy looked up at him and cocked her head to one side. "If that's the case, then what about the Oracion Seis? Wouldn't you consider them your nakama? Don't you have enough history together to have that sort of bond with them? That's what we are in Fairy Tail. For most of the members, the guild is the only family we've got…"

Cobra refused to answer that line of questioning. Who and what the others were to him was inconsequential. She didn't need to know anything about them. That could only complicate things for him when he started working to get them out of prison.

He didn't have to say anything for Lucy to see that she was right about him, that they were a part of him in some way. "Master Mavis once told us that 'Nakama' is more than just a word. 'Nakama' is heart. And it's believing in your partners unconditionally."

"You'd be stupid to rely on others though," Cobra shot back. "Doing shit like that will only get you stabbed in the back." Literally, in his case. He and the other Seis members had relied on each other long ago, but with everything that happened over the years… They came to realize that they had to look out for themselves, because no one else was going to do it for them. Yeah, he was going to get them out of prison if it was the last thing he did, but he knew that Midnight and the others weren't waiting for him to do it. They were probably trying to figure out how to do it on their own.

Lucy shook her head with a sigh. "Fairy Tail's not like that. We care for each other. I want you to rely on me, Cobra. I'm sure I'll rely on you someday, too."

Cobra watched as some sort of shift took hold on her face. There was that determination of hers again. It was identical to the look she'd given him when he was cornered in that interrogation room, when she had gotten him to admit what he really wanted in life. He steeled himself against the soothing voice that accompanied her penetrating eyes, and found that it actually took a lot more effort than he'd assumed.

"Cobra, even when you're suffering," Lucy said softly, "Even when you're sad… I'll always be at your side. In Fairy Tail, you're never alone. Maybe physically, but we're all part of one another in spirit. We all have as many hopes as there are stars that light up the sky. The wind that brushes your skin and mine is a presentiment of tomorrow. I don't expect you to jump on the Fairy bandwagon straight to Crazy Town right away, but I hope you can at least try to open yourself up to the idea of having people that aren't trying to stab you in the back."

"Not likely," he whispered, although he wouldn't admit that his voice had a slight tremble to it.

She giggled softly. "I think you'll change your mind about that. Pretty soon, you'll be walking in time with the song of the fairies."

"That sounds more like some shit with tutus and tiaras, Jiggly Bits."

Lucy snorted, then downright cracked right the hell up. "That's... That's a new one! Oh my god!" she laughed. Usually the nicknames she was given by people had no sense of originality, and even though the most recent addition was still talking about the size of her chest, it was fucking hilarious.

"What," Cobra asked with a smirk, "Jiggly Bits?" When Lucy nodded, her laughter only increasing, he had to force himself not to at least chuckle a little. Smart, sexy, sadistic inside, and apparently a weird sense of humor. Maybe this Fairy Tail shit wasn't going to be so bad. After all, he was going to see Cubellios again.

"Happy," Natsu whispered, glancing around the guild hall and grinning when he saw that Erza was fully engrossed in her cake. "Let's go find Luce."

"Aye," Happy whispered back. He perched himself on the his foster father's shoulder once Natsu had wrapped his scarf around his head, then the pair snuck out of the guild in complete silence.

Natsu was grinning like crazy while they made their way through town. Lucy's scent was pretty much nonexistent, but he figured he could go to the Council first and blast through every wall until he found where they were keeping her. That was the only explanation he could come up with for Lahar hauling her off the day before. 'I'll save you, Luce. Just wait for me, and I'll-'

"Natsu… Is there somewhere you need to be?" Erza asked slowly once he came to a screeching halt in front of her raised blade, the tip of her sword barely an inch in front of his scarf-covered head.

"Huh?" Natsu asked in feigned innocence. "Nah! Happy and I are gonna go fishing!"

"Y-Yeah, fishing!" Happy chimed in nervously.

"Why are you dressed like a ninja then?"

Natsu froze, then gulped.

Erza's eyes narrowed dangerously. She knew that guilty look on the Fire Dragon Slayer. "You're going to go against Master's orders to leave it be," she whispered. "We are not to pursue her, Natsu. She will be back soon."

"You don't know that, Erza!" Natsu shouted indignantly. When her scowl deepened and the magic surrounding her increased, he let out an agitated huff. "If Luce was here I wouldn't be so worried about her. She's always getting into trouble…"

Lucy was in the middle of reading the latest Sorcerer's Weekly edition during the last leg of their train ride when she sneezed. Violently. The gum she had been chewing was forced out of her mouth, and her head flew forward at just the right time for a portion of it to lodge itself under her eyelid. Never in a million years would she have expected something like that was possible, but it happened. With far more composure than should have been possible in that moment, Lucy slowly set her magazine down on the bench next to her and brushed her hair away from her face.

Cobra actually felt his stomach rolling while he watched her. She gently grasped her eyelashes, her eyes rolled back, and then her other hand came up to pull the offending little mass of spit and sugar from suffocating her eyeball.

Lucy blinked a few times, then frowned at the gum in her hand. She didn't have anywhere to throw it away at the moment, and she had only started chewing it ten minutes prior. 'I wonder...' With an internal shrug, Lucy popped the piece of gum back into her mouth and started chewing again. It didn't taste any different than before, which was - surprisingly - a bit of a disappointment. She was kind of hoping there would be an eyeball aftertaste, just so she would know what it tasted like in the first place. Just before picking her magazine back up, Lucy chanced a glance at Cobra, and found him staring at her with his mouth hanging open and what she could only assume was as close to a look of horror as he could manage. "What? It's still got some flavor!" she said defensively.

"You were curious," he said slowly, "About what your fucking eyeball tastes like…" When the crazy bitch just smiled at him, his own eye somehow widened. "And people call me crazy…"

Lucy shrugged and kept chewing. After another moment of silence, she lifted the pack of gum. "Are you sure you don't want some?"

"I'm sure."

"Really? It tastes pretty good."

"I only have one eye… I don't need that shit trying to take control of it."

"That… is not what happened."

"That's what it looked like from over here…"

"Then you should get your eye checked."

"So should you."

Lucy sighed, and threw the pack at Cobra, then picked up her magazine and studiously ignored him.

Cobra glanced down in his lap at the gum. He shook his head slowly. Strawberry bubble gum. He could smell the sugar through the fucking packaging.

Lucy didn't pull her gaze from the article she was reading as she asked, "Did you know that sugar is considered a poison?"

"Yep."

"You're welcome."

Cobra blinked slowly while he looked from Lucy down to the pack in his lap. With a sigh of resignation, he pulled a piece out and popped it in his mouth. "If I lose my eye because of this shit, I'm taking one of yours."

"Uh-huh. Enjoy your gum, Cobra." Lucy bit her lip to hide her amusement as much as possible when she actually caught Cobra mocking her while he turned to look out the window again. 'Lucy, I think you've won this round...'

'Great… Now she's talking to herself… You're so fucking screwed, man… Goddamnit, now I'm talking to myself!' Maybe being able to see Cubellios again wasn't enough of a reason to join Fairy Tail and think of it as a good thing. Clearly their insanity was rubbing off on him already. 'Fucking kill me now… Shut up.'

Something that Lucy hadn't considered when they had left the Magic Council was that Cobra would be bothered by the sheer amount of people milling about in Magnolia during the day. He hadn't necessarily been pleasant during the entire train ride, but he'd been willing to talk even a little. As soon as they disembarked, he shut down completely. His face was blank, and bordering on downright pissed. Even though he looked utterly relaxed, with his hands in his pockets as they walked to the guild, she did see that he was more tense than he'd been when it was just the two of them. 'If this is bad, I wonder what it'll be like for him in the guild...'

"We'll see."

Lucy's eyes widened at the sound of his voice. Two words, clearly ground out between clenched teeth, had scared the shit out of her. It wasn't because he sounded like he was about to eat someone's face - which, he really fucking did - but it was more that he hadn't spoken a word since they got off the train. And it showed just how difficult this was for him.

"You're wrong on that one," Cobra said softly. He glanced at the curious blonde and shook his head. "It's just annoying. Not painful. That shit hasn't happened in years."

Lucy frowned and cocked her head to the side. "Painful?" Much to her surprise, Cobra nodded. It seemed he was willing to give her some semblance of information about himself. That had to be a good sign, right?

He couldn't explain why he had told her that, or even why he was willing to fucking explain anything to the blonde to begin with. "Don't worry about it." He had to get some serious fucking distance from her, because this shit of him just randomly giving out little Cobra trivia facts was starting to piss him off. She shouldn't be able to get fucking anything out of him, but she had. Several times, in fact. He didn't want to dwell on it, and it seemed that Lucy wasn't going to rub in his face that he had actually opened up to her in any way, shape, or form.

But she was right about one thing. If walking through town was bad, it was going to be worse when they were at the guild hall. Less people, sure. But they would be in a more confined space, and everyone was going to have shit about him on their minds. Their souls were going to be one huge clusterfuck of annoying, bee-buzzing bullshit. He would have to invest in some industrial strength aspirin. Except, he couldn't take the shit. His body registered it as poison, so it didn't do a damn thing to stop any pain he might be in. He could take medication and have it work for him if it wasn't something that inhibited his body from producing shit. Which mean that numbing his pain was a no-fucking-go. Drinking would have been his next choice, but that was the same goddamn thing. Alcohol is a poison, therefore he just got his element absorbed into him instead of enjoying that drunk, numb feeling he'd gotten to experience only once before getting the Dragon Slaying lacrima forcefully shoved in his chest.

Lucy smiled and jumped up onto the canal wall as they got closer to the guild. She could only hope that this first meeting at the guild with Cobra and the others didn't end in complete disaster. 'If only I had a communications lacrima,' she thought, 'Then I could have called Master and told him we were on our way. He could at least be prepared for it then.'

"Be careful, Lucy!" one of the fishermen yelled across the canal. "Don't want to fall in!"

Lucy grinned and waved wildly at the boatmen. "Hey, guys!"

Cobra shook his head as they continued on their way. "That's a common occurrence, huh?"

"Yep," Lucy laughed. "Same thing every day. I haven't fallen in yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time."

"Uh-huh." Cobra had to suppress a wince as they rounded a corner and walked through the entry gate to Fairy Tail's guild hall. The structure itself was magnificent, the architecture something that most would marvel at for ages to come, but the sheer amount of motherfucking noise coming from that place was already starting to hurt his ears. And that wasn't even including their souls. Just the boisterous bullshitting, cacophonous caterwauling, the decimation of at least twenty glasses, splintering wood, and… "Did I just hear someone say 'shoo-bi-doo-bop'?"

Lucy blanched and stopped dead in her tracks. This was the definition of a catch-22 if she ever fucking saw one. "Y-Yeah…" she said weakly. On the one hand, Cobra's arrival would most likely stop Gajeel from performing on stage, which meant none of them would be subjected to whatever the hell it was he called singing. On the other hand, if Gajeel decided that the other Slayer's presence didn't warrant enough of an interruption, he'd simply use it as an interlude to drag her backstage and force her into that bunny costume… again. And then she'd have to dance until he was booed off the stage… again. They could very well just stay outside until he was done performing, but then there was a higher chance of someone walking up and flipping their shit before she had a chance to explain everything. Fairy Tail was exceptionally good at blowing things up first, and asking questions later.

'This is gonna be the day I die… We'll walk in, and I'll get caught right in the middle of it all.'

"I highly doubt they're going to attack you." When he turned around to look at the blonde, he couldn't help but just fucking stare at her as her inner monologue continued.

'Hopefully my corpse will still have some clothing on… That'd be a nice change. Then the whole guild won't be staring at Little Miss Necro-Snatch… Then again, if I'm blown to pieces, there's a chance that my body won't be discernable aside from small bits of viscera and brain matter. And feces. Can't forget the feces… With any luck, it'll land on Happy's fish.'

"There's a higher probability of your cunt landing on someone's plate," Cobra chuckled, "But good luck with that. I'll be sure to use you as a meat shield."

Lucy absently nodded. "Probably for the best…" She sighed heavily and started walking toward the doors of the guild with Cobra falling in step right next to her.

'He's fucking here. I can smell the bastard. I don't smell Lahar though. Luce? She's with him? He better not have hurt her… Why does she smell scared?! SON OF A BITCH!'

Cobra rolled his singular eye as Lucy pushed the doors of the guild open. Of fucking course Natsu was going to blow this shit way out of proportion. The guy was more spastic than a geriatric colon, and had the attention span of a gnat on meth. How he had managed to lose to this fucking prick was still beyond him, and he could only chalk it up to being overly cocky and relying far too much on Cubellios and Brain.

"Natsu! NO!" Mira shouted.

Lucy's eyes went wide when her vision was bathed in a wall of infernal flames and searing heat that was careening toward her and Cobra. The air dried up in an instant, her eyes watered, and the roar of her best friend's flames filled her ears. 'I knew I was gonna die today...'

A portion of what Lucy says to Cobra, while they're on the train, is actually taken straight from the show! In the episode titled Song of the Fairies (Episode 58, 2014), after the close of the Sun Village Arc.