As the evening feast wound to a close, Lily was forced to fight the tide of sleepy, glutted students to the front of the hall where she could see James and Professor McGonagall were already waiting for her near the end of the high table. She had managed to hide among the sea of black-clad adolescents until now, using an evasive technique that had served her well throughout her time at Hogwarts, but could no longer avoid the inevitable. Her stomach seemed to be gathering into a hard pit as she approached James, who was regarding her with the look of extreme eagerness that made her feel queasy.
"Hello Miss Evans," McGonagall greeted her with a thin smile. "I hope you're ready for another full year. How have you been?" She asked the question in a concerned, confidential tone that caught both of their attention. In her role as head of Gryffindor house, McGonagall had been the one to counsel her after her father's death, and was therefore genuinely concerned that Lily was still doing well after her first holiday at home without him. This unusually personal question from the notoriously stern McGonagall caused James to glance between the two quizzically, but Lily muttered quickly that she was fine, averting her gaze uncomfortably.
"I'm glad to hear it. Follow me you two," she said briefly, moving off between the tables and leading them in a completely different direction than the other students. As she walked, she began explaining to them their privileges and duties as Head Boy and Girl and reminding them of the behavioral expectations the school had for their joint accommodations this year. Lily was slightly relieved to have learned this on the train; it would have been a nasty shock to hear it for the first time on the way to their new dormitory. She was also a little nervous to be left alone with James as he continued shooting ominous looks in her direction, clearly unwilling to forget her merciless teasing in the carriage. McGonagall's explanation was met with many nods and several blushes, and they shortly reached a stone sculpture of a life-sized lion.
"Well, have you two any questions, then?" McGonagall asked in her usual terse manner. As though they were in class, James's hand shot into the air and she awarded him a thin smile. "Yes, Potter?"
"I was wondering if it would be all right if we had friends come visit occasionally," he said quickly. "Lily does have several friends she likes to spend time with and, as you know, my mates and I work best out of the public eye and our common room would be the perfect place for... homework and stuff."
"Yes, I'm sure you and your mates could get up to a lot of interesting stuff, given a private common room to tinker in," McGonagall replied with the barest glimmer of humor in her stern brown eyes. Finally she sighed and shook her head. "You'll have to work that out between yourself and Miss Evans, I'm afraid. We're granting you two a lot of trust and responsibility with your title, so I assume you'll be able to settle it amicably."
"Let's hope so," Lily grumbled under her breath.
McGonagall didn't appear to have heard her and clapped her hands briskly. "Well, then, that seems to be all. Now, to get into your dormitory, simply tap the lion's right foot with your wand and say Una nos sto."
"Una nostow?" James repeated uncertainly.
Lily cast a scathing look in his direction and shook her head. "Una nos sto. It's Latin."
Their stern teacher gave Lily one of her rare smiles. "Well done, Miss Evans. Were we in class, I'd have awarded you points. Instead, I'll let you go explore your new apartments. I will have the student's schedules ready for you to distribute in the morning before breakfast. Goodnight."
They each bid her goodnight and James tapped the lion and carefully uttered the password, glancing back for Lily's approving nod. In his opinion, she didn't need to know his father had taught him Latin and Greek along with English from a very young age; she might think him bookish and he certainly couldn't have that sort of rumor going around school. They watched as the statue's mouth yawned down improbably until its jaw reached the ground to reveal an opening wide enough for a person to step through. There was a staircase spiraling down and James stepped to the side and held his arm out saying, "After you" with a charming smile.
Lily merely raised an eyebrow at him before preceding him down the steps, uncomfortable leaving her backside so vulnerable. To her relief, James seemed to be enjoying her jumpy discomfiture too much to act just yet. Torches sprang to life as they passed down the stairs until they reached a large circular room. The stone floor was covered with a large blue and red rug and the windows were covered with heavy green curtains. A fire was blazing merrily in the ornate grate, illuminating the squashy leather chairs, overstuffed sofa and work tables. Bookcases lined the walls filled with various books and interesting objects to be later studied. To Lily's surprise, there was an upright piano on the wall across from the fireplace.
James approached the instrument with a small smile, flipping up the cover and tinkling a few notes. It suddenly occurred to Lily how few musical instruments she had seen in the school outside of Professor Flitwick's choir room. "What do you think that's for?"
"It's for playing, Lily," James told her obviously with a wide grin.
She scowled at him. "I know that."
"Dumbledore probably had it brought in," James explained, amused by her irritated tone. "He seemed to enjoy when I played for my parent's Christmas party a few years ago. Or my mum asked him hoping I'd actually practice during school."
"Right, James, you play piano," Lily scoffed openly. The assertion seemed so ludicrous because the only skills he had ever exhibited had to do with quidditch and trouble, not necessarily in that order. Playing an instrument usually meant a person had patience and commitment along with an appreciation of art, attributes she had never witnessed in James.
"I do," he laughed, taking a seat at the instrument and running his hands lightly across the keys. "My dad has always loved music, so he taught me to play. I think it was the only thing in our house that doesn't have some kind of spell on it."
Lily could only stare at him as he began to play a bright happy tune. She felt distinctly uncomfortable being faced with the fact that she actually had something quite personal in common with James Potter. She had always hung her argument for them not having a relationship on the grounds that they had nothing in common. After a moment, she realized James had stopped playing and was looked at her with obvious concern.
"Is something amiss, Lily? I know you don't like being wrong, but-"
"Shut up, Potter," she snapped, spinning on her heel and crossing the room quickly, hoping to escape him.
To her chagrin, James followed at her heels and they trouped up the second staircase to a circular landing that boasted three doors and several windows looking out toward the lake. He watched as Lily opened the center door then moved in to see that it led to an enormous bathroom. They took in a pair of gold sinks below a gigantic mirror and a swimming pool sized bathtub illuminated by a grand stained glass window. There were two doors on either side, presumably leading to a shower room and W. C. It was obvious the room was enchanted to fit it all since the doors in the hallway to either side could be no more than three feet away.
"I suppose that means the other two are our rooms," he commented dryly before stepping back out and going to the door on the left. Lily was surprised that he hadn't tried to take advantage of their close proximity in order to brush up against her, but just shook her head and followed him out into the next room.
It was furnished just like any other dorm room, but with just one full bed instead of 5-7singles. There was a heating grate in the corner, several bookshelves, a desk, and a wardrobe, all of which stood around the three windows. The bed was hung with deep red curtains and a single circular rug spanned the center of the room.
"Not bad," James remarked as he ran an idle hand through his hair. He was standing in the middle of the room turning slowly to take it all in.
"Why do you do that?" Lily asked suddenly in a snappish tone. She was tired and edgy and she couldn't help noticing James' nervous habit.
Startled, James looked at her. "What are you talking about?"
Lily dropped her head and turned to leave the room muttering, "Never mind…"
She entered her own bedroom to find it nearly identical to his, only her own trunk was resting against the wall beside the wardrobe. Removing her wand, she decided to try an unpacking spell she had found over the summer, and was pleased when the trunk lid immediately flipped open and all of her possessions flew gracefully to their appropriate places. She had always been clever at charms, but was still excited that the spell had worked so perfectly on her first attempt.
"What was McGonagall getting at earlier when she asked how you were doing?" Lily started and spun around to find James leaning on the doorframe casually surveying the room. Her stomach lurched uncomfortably at the question, and she looked away evasively. That was all she needed: to break down crying in front of James again so they could have another heartfelt talk.
"Nothing. It doesn't matter," she lied, blushing. "It's none of your business."
James' eyes narrowed and he stepped further into the room. "Well, which is it?" he asked, giving her his full attention.
Lily looked away uncomfortably and muttered, "I don't want you in my room, James."
Moving closer so that he was within arm's reach of her, he leaned in and asked carefully, "What was that, Lily? I didn't quite catch what you said."
Her face reddened even more and she took a step back and bumped the edge of her bed, which forced her to sit down abruptly. Irrational anger spiked through her and she glared up at him. Punching her fist into the mattress, she cried, "Why do you have to make me so uncomfortable all the time?"
James cocked his head to the side and considered her earnestly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize me being in the same room with you having a normal conversation would be enough to make you this uncomfortable. Especially coming from the person who snogged and slapped me in the carriage tonight."
"Oh shut it, Potter," she cried, surging to her feet. She took a single step toward him and pushed ineffectually against his chest. "Get out of my room!"
Gently James caught her wrists and pulled her close. When she struggled, he caught her by her upper arms and lifted her off the floor, startling her into silence. He looked down into her face until he was certain he had her full attention then said, "I don't know why you're so angry with me, Lily, but I'm sorry if I've upset you. I'd really like us to be friends this year." Without waiting for her to respond, he set her down and left the room.
Inside his own room, James quickly unloaded his trunk and stored his things in their proper places. Once finished, he leaned into his trunk and pressed a hidden button in the lining and pulled back the false bottom. Lifting out a small round mirror, he tapped the glass briskly and muttered, "Sirius." The surface quickly changed to reflect the dark inside of a pocket. James rolled his eyes and tapped the glass again, he then was able to view a hand, a dorm room, and finally Sirius's face.
"How'd it go?" Sirius asked with a smirk and a glance around to tell the boys it was James to report. Suddenly two other faces crowded around the glass and James had to grin in spite of himself. They all just looked so eager.
"Operation Head Wars is underway," James informed them all lightly.
"What happened?" Peter asked excitedly, his blue eyes round and laughing. "Did she swoon yet?"
James relayed a brief description of the night's events amidst admittedly girly squeals of glee, most of which came from Sirius. As he finished, more excited babble rang out from the other side of the glass and James found himself grinning irrepressibly at his friends. After promising an update for any further developments, he stowed the mirror and got ready for bed.
Taking off his glasses, James extinguished the light and lay on his back with his arms crossed behind his head and the covers pulled up to his waist. He stared pensively at the ceiling and worked to trace the blurry outline of the rafters. In all honesty, James' interest in Lily was earnest, but he couldn't seem to get her to believe it. He didn't completely understand his fascination with her himself, but she drove him to distraction. It hadn't been until the beginning of their fifth year that he started to notice that Lily Evans was a girl. It had come as quite a shock at first, but in hindsight, he realized it had been coming for quite some time.
Throughout their time at school, she had waged war with them, giving as good as she got though she was often outnumbered four to one. He had always considered her a worthy opponent, but after their fifth year, he had started to realize she had a lot of other good qualities like kindness, intelligence, and loyalty (not to mention a nice body); none of which were as annoying as he had once thought. Not only that, but after what had become known as the infamous scene at the lake, he realized something else about her: she expected more of him. It was a fact that had begun to change his entire perception of himself.
As the months wore on, James felt as though his mind was split into three warring factions. In an unprecedented development, he was caught between what his friends expected of him, what Lily expected of him, and what he expected of himself, something he had never considered before. The main problem was: none of these ideas corresponded exactly with the others. This had been particularly disturbing for him because his expectations had matched up with his friend's. Suddenly, he began questioning himself, something he had never done before. The self-reflection had inevitably led to transformation, which he had done his best to keep quiet.
Having grown privately into a different sort of person, he had done his best to show Lily how he had changed, though he was still uncertain why it was so important for her to understand this. James was well aware there were plenty of girls out there that would do nearly anything for his attention, but he couldn't muster up the interest to engage them. His frequent attempts to gain Lily's notice had been repeatedly misinterpreted, and, if he was honest with himself, not without good reason. Not easily discouraged and with the help of his friends, he had resolved to scheme as deviously as necessary in order to obtain her regard. James was keenly aware that this was their last year at Hogwarts and, quite possibly, his last chance to get her attention.
A soft knock shook James out of his reverie and he stood quickly to cross the room. Opening the door, he peered down into a blurry face surrounded by a mass of dark red hair and smiled solicitously. Since he couldn't see her well, he failed to observe her start of surprise, flushing face, and eyes looking everywhere but at his bare chest.
"I'm sorry I teased you and got so angry," she said softly while staring fixedly at the corner joint of the doorframe. She had been thinking about what he'd said and, as always, felt guilty for the unwarranted burst of temper. She was also feeling distinctly uncomfortable about kissing him in the coach, although hitting him didn't bother her near as much.
James smiled and inadvertently reached up to rumple his hair, drawing her gaze, only to glance swiftly away. "Don't worry about it, Lily, I meant what I said. I'm tired of acting like kids and having this stupid feud standing between us. I think you're a great person and I'd just like to be able to be in the same room with you without it ending in an argument."
Lily smiled in spite of herself and moved a little closer so that he could see her clearly. She saw his eyes light up and his smile broadened just a bit as he focused on her. A faint heat rose in her cheeks as their eyes met and she had to fight the immediate urge to look away.
"I think I'd like us to be friends too, James, but I still don't trust you," she told him quietly. With some definite misgivings, she put out her hand to shake and he took it gently. The touch was almost like an electric current jolting through her arm. Pulling away quickly, she shook her finger in his face and said, "And if you start up that "we were meant to be together" nonsense again, I promise to jinx you into next week!"
James laughed and replied, "Ok deal… I think… Is it all right with you if I still harbor a secret obsession with you?"
Lily rolled her eyes and stepped back. "As long as it doesn't affect our working relationship. Goodnight James."
"Lily," he called quietly as she turned toward her bedroom. He waited until he had the vague idea that she'd turned back, at least he could see she had stopped moving, before continuing. "What was McGonagall on about earlier?"
Sighing, Lily pulled her hair over her shoulder, tangling her fingers in it distractedly, and said wearily, "I don't really want to talk about it, Potter."
"So it's "Potter" again, is it?" he replied sadly. "I wish we could be friends, Lily, but if you're not willing to let me in, I'm afraid that's never going to happen."
Lily took a few steps back toward him until he could see her clearly again and looked up at him with a nervous, pained expression. "I'm sorry, James, but I think you can understand why I'd be hesitant sharing my personal life with you. McGonagall was the one who talked me through a lot of stuff after my dad died, so she was just checking up on me."
Nodding, James touched her cheek and, for the first time, she didn't flinch away, but gave him a watery smile. Emboldened, he said, "Okay, you don't have to tell me any more, but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you should need anything."
Without meaning to, Lily gave him a wide smile that took his breath away. It was the first time she had ever smiled at him like that. "All right, James. I'll keep that in mind. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Lily."
Lily padded back to her bedroom and heard the soft click of James's door as he shut it behind her. She was suspicious, but she was also tired and didn't feel like she had the energy to worry too much about it tonight. Making a snap decision, she gathered her pajamas and headed for the bathroom, intent on having a relaxing soak before bedtime. Locking the door behind her, she filled the enormous tub with water and suds and undressed, her mind turning over the day's strange events. As she sank beneath the bubbles, she thought of James and the way he appeared to have changed. He hadn't even paid her back for slapping him in the carriage, though experience taught her that he could be a very patient person when it came to retribution.
Almost against her will, her fingers drifted to her mouth as she remembered how soft and warm his lips had been against hers. Though it hadn't been the first time he'd kissed her, it was the first time she'd kissed him back like that. Uncomfortably, she noticed an awkward heat between her legs and dove under the surface of the water, doing her best to push the memory of the kiss away as she swam a couple of laps.
She still wasn't quite sure if she could trust him, but she had to admit that he was right: she didn't want to keep fighting him all the time. She fought enough at home. It upset her more than she cared to admit that James could play the piano. Her father had loved music and all of his girls had loved to play for him. Their house was always full of music before he died. Since then, the piano in their parlour had done nothing but collect dust while her mother grew increasingly more listless and pale. Lily forced thoughts of her parents from her mind as she surfaced with a gasp and decided to get out.
She toweled off nervously, feeling exposed in the wide, empty space. Against her will, her eyes kept trailing anxiously to the locked door, as if she expected James to come bursting through with a camera at any second. It wouldn't have been the first time... Mindless of her damp hair, she quickly pulled a light linen nightgown on before shoving her feet into a pair of fluffy slippers. It was a relief to be dressed.
Laughing at her nerves, she left the bathroom and moved into her own room, flicking on the lights and staring in surprise at the small pile of clothing that had appeared on her bed. There was everything from a single green mitten embroidered with snowflakes to a pair of lacy black knickers in the collection. Every scrap of clothing she had ever misplaced in her six years at Hogwarts had been returned to her. It was accompanied by a tiny corner of parchment with a small, laughing face that made Lily smile unconsciously. Apparently, this was James's version of a peace offering, though she noticed one pair of her knickers were still missing. She had a sneaking suspicion these had been used for nefarious purposes, but decided to let it slide.
Feeling uncommonly lighthearted, she turned around and went to knock on James's door once again. She waited patiently as she heard the squeak of the mattress, followed immediately by a loud bump and groan, then the sound of hopping as James came to the door. Had he always been this clumsy, or was it just when he was sleepy? The door finally wrenched open and she smiled up at him, dangling her freshly returned pair of knickers in front of her.
James blinked at them for a moment before reaching up to anxiously rub the back of his neck. "Yeah... thought you might like those back..."
"What will you collect now that you've given up stealing my things?" she asked innocently.
With a mischievous grin, James leaned back against the doorframe, crossed his arms over his chest, and shrugged nonchalantly. "There are lots of people at this school, Lily."
"Lots of opportunities to indulge your kleptomania," she filled in humorously. "I'd like to know how it is that a boy who could buy anything he wants feels the compulsive need to steal from his peers."
"I've never stolen anything without reason," he replied evenly.
Lily eyed him skeptically before looking down at the lacy panties. "And the reason for stealing this would be... as a masturbatory aid?" James gaped at her in surprise. He'd never expected those words to come out of her mouth in his presence, or ever, for that matter, and was speechless for several seconds. The extreme pause was enough to convince her she had hit the mark. "Thought so..."
"No, Lily, no. It's not like I've... wanked off or anything with your..." he stumbled uncomfortably and Lily found herself enjoying the feeling of power that came with upsetting someone so much that they didn't know how to respond. For the first time, she could kind of understand the Marauder's motives.
"You sure you don't want to keep these, James?" she teased smugly, twirling the knickers enticingly around her index finger. "I mean, the average seventeen-year-old male-"
"If I need a sexual release, I don't have to look too far to find one," James interrupted loudly, causing Lily to blush in surprise. After a moment, he realized how the assertion might sound to her and rushed to correct himself. "That's not to say... I don't mean... you know what I mean, right?"
Having recovered slightly, she tilted her head to the side and gave him a small smile. "I don't think you need to explain your reputation or your sexual exploits to me, James. Just so long as no one says I'm part of them."
"Come on, don't you want to see what all the fuss is about?" he teased gamely.
Giving him a sultry look, Lily took a step toward him and ran her hand down his bare chest. She let her eyes travel suggestively over his body before smiling up at him. His throat went suddenly dry as her fingers fiddled with the waistband of his pajamas. "How is it that you say you want me so much, but whenever you get close, you don't follow through?"
In response, James tenderly reached for her, feeling the heat of her skin through the thin fabric of her nightgown as he pulled her directly in front of him. Lily felt her stomach jump and color flood into her cheeks as he ran his fingers in light circles at the curve of her waist and bent tantalizingly close. He stopped with his nose brushing hers and Lily fought the urge to close her eyes, even as her heartbeat sped up in anticipation.
"Because you always hit me or disappear when I get too close," he whispered gently. Immediately he took a step back and released her. Lily's eyes flickered in surprise and he smiled. "See? Two can play at this game. Goodnight, Lily."
Before he could duck in his room, she caught sight of the obvious bulge in his pants and beamed at him. "Well done, Potter. You do have some self-control. I'd say that's lesson one learned. You deserve a reward."
With an unabashed grin, James leaned forward, plucking the knickers out of her hand and kissing her forehead. "Thanks. I try. I guess this is the first step in you realizing I'm a respectable person."
"I guess so," she laughed, taking a step away. "Goodnight, James."
"Goodnight, love," he returned softly, retreating back into his room.
Lily returned to bed, feeling slightly dazed. She couldn't believe she had flirted with him so brazenly. Even more than that, she couldn't believe he had abstained from trying to take advantage of the situation. She extinguished the lights quickly, hoping not to think too closely about her motives for teasing him so blatantly.
As she lay down to sleep, she thought about how nice it would be to end the stupid war between herself and the Marauders. Of course, it wouldn't work since they'd never stop bullying people. Then again, James seemed... different, somehow. He hadn't tried to take advantage of her when she was practically throwing herself at him. And when he was sitting at the piano, he seemed so open and vulnerable. Her last thought as she drifted off to sleep was how nice his eyes were and why she had never noticed before.