Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If i did then the whole story would be about the Akatuski

Hello - Tally Mai speaking

Hello - Neji/Good Tobi speaking

Hello - Evil Tobi speaking

Me: Hello good readers!

Tobi: Tobi is a good boy!

Neji: Please shot me.

Me: Today's targets are… Zetsu and Kisame!

Tobi: Yay!

Neji: You mean the cannibal and shark dude?

Me: Show some respect Neji!

Evil Tobi: Yeah! (Lightning flashes)

Me and Neji: O.o

Evil Tobi: MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Hurry! Start the story Neji!

Neji: Ok, ok!

Neji was dead tired. He swore that Itachi saw them yesterday for the Uchiha kept glaring at him. With a sigh Neji looked around the room. The Akatsuki may be criminals but they live in style. His room was entirely black and red with white. All the furniture was top grade, all of his clothes-given to him by Tobi-were made by top designers. Neji figured that Kakuzu pulled some strings cuz just one shirt must of cost a fortune. Neji grimaced as someone banged on his door.

"Ji-kun! Are you up yet! Tobi wants' some help making breakfast!" Neji gave a groan in response. "Oh don't be like that Ji-kun!" Tobi burst into his room and jumped up and down on his bed with him still on it.

"Get off my bed Tobi!" Neji yelled angrily at the orange masked man. Tobi stopped jumping and whimpered slightly.

"But Tobi is a good boy."

"Go be a good boy somewhere else." Neji smiled. He just a got a wicked idea. "In fact why don't you be a good boy and go "play" with Deidara? He seemed so sad and lonely the last time I saw him." Tobi gasped.

"Sempai? Lonely! Don't worry sempai! Tobi will play with you all day and make you happy again!" Neji snickered as Tobi ran off to find Deidara.

Now that's not nice.

Back from drinking with Tsunade?

Yep. I'm watching the stuff you got on Hidan and Deidara right now.

Sniff, sniff

What's your problem?

Tenten she's…

Dating Deidara? Yeah I know.

You knew!

Yeah, of curse I knew. I was the one that got them together in the first place… Neji? NEJI!

Neji couldn't respond, his mind and soul had died.

Oh dear… I was hoping that it wouldn't have to come to this… but I must. Sniff, poor Tobi he doesn't know all the evil I had done to him.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the base Tobi was running away from Deidara's clay bombs.

"But sempai is lonely! Tobi just wants' to help!"

"Dangit Tobi! I am NOT lonely! Now get lost!"

"But Tobi wants' to make sempai happy!"

"Do you think I'm gay or something?"

"Well Tobi dose think that you look a little like a-"

"TOBI DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!"

"But you asked Tobi!" At the last second Tobi dogged that last of Deidara's clay bombs.

"Tobi." Deidara glared poison at Tobi. "Leave me alone."

"But-" Tobi was about to say 'But sempai! Tobi wants to be your friend!' But something else happened.

Tobi. Tally Mai's voice came from inside his head.

Tobi EEP'ed out loud. Deidara regarded him for a moment before scowling and stomping off.

Um…

Hey ya Tobi!

Um… why is Tally Mai in Tobi's head?

You went through the same surgery Neji did.

I have cameras in my eyes too?

Yep!

I'm going to kill you.

Ah but you can't

And why not?

You're under a contract.

What contract?

That piece of paper you signed at breakfast three weeks ago.

…

Hey it's not my fault that you don't read these things. And just so you know. You can not kill me even after the contract is over.

…

Don't be that way! Besides Neji is out of commission so you need to finish the mission today.

Who are the targets?

Let's see… um… Zetsu and Kisame.

Ok. I'll start with Zetsu-san. His room is closer.

Tobi is such a good boy!

Oh can it.

Tobi… don't mess with me.

…

Tobi was standing outside of Zetsu's room. Not sure how to continue.

Just peak through the door.

Tobi carefully and slow opened the door.

"Oh my beautiful' Said both sides of Zetsu to an object hidden by shadows. The plant man shifted and the object could now be seem clearly.

Um... Tally

Y-yes T-tobi.

Is th-that Z-Zetsu-san a-and a… a

A rose? Y-yes.

Tobi d-did not think that that was possible.

Neither did I Tobi. Neither did I

I think Tobi is scared for life now.

So am I Tobi, so am I. Just shut the door Tobi. Shut the door

Tobi all too willingly complied.

Why don't you go find Zetsu now.

Tobi was standing in front of Kisame's door.

Don't worry Tobi. I mean the odds of Kisame doing the same thing that Zetsu was doing are 1,000,000 to 0.0000000000000000000000001.

If you say so. Tobi now opened Kisame's door. His eyes closed.

Tobi how can I see if your eyes are closed?

Tobi slowly opened his eyes. His jaw dropped underneath his mask. In Kisame's room was a giant fish tank. Inside the tank was Kisame and three sharks all wearing tutus and doing underwater ballet.

Wow. There actually pretty good... except Kisame in a pink tutu. That's just gross.

And people ask how I'M in Akatsuki.

Well it could have been worse. Now go check up on Neji. I'm worried that something has happened to him.

What can happen? He's in his room.

Still... can you please check up on him for me?

Sigh… fine.

Yay! Tobi is a good boy!

DSL:FH:LSDFKLDSF:LDSFJ

Tobi has a pouty mouth

Dfasdfs

(line)

Oh dear.

Tobi…

Yes

WHERE THE HECK IS NEJI HUH? "WHAT CAN HAPPEN? HE'S IN HIS ROOM" MY (BLEEP)!

Well what do you want me to do?

Go find him!

Maybe he walked out on his own.

No. I would have known if he did. The chip in his brain is telling me that he's still out of it. Someone must have taken him!

Who?

Maybe it was Itachi!

Itachi?

Yeah. Neji thinks that he saw you guys the other day.

No, Itachi is not that kind of person.

If you say so… then who took him? Who would need… oh dear pie

What?

Sasori…

That's a possibility.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! GO FIND SASORI AND RESCUE NEJI!

We still don't eve know if Sasori really took-

Look at your left foot Tobi.

Well yep. It's defiantly Sasori.

On the floor under Tobi's left foot was a piece of red fabric with Sasori's mark on it.

Me: Wow. The very first Neji Files cliff hanger

Evil Tobi: How come I'm doing all of the work?

Me: What the heck? You left Tobi and me when we saw… gah the mental images

Evil Tobi: Well I'm evil so live with it.

Me: (Lightning flashes) you will show me some respect.

Evil Tobi: What the heck! You stole my lightning!

Me: Oh please, your lighting? It was Kakuzu using his thunder jutsu the whole time. I just paid him more money then you did.

Evil Tobi: That fickle miser.

Me: Well people review for Neji! Who knows what horrors will happen to him! I know you wanna read about it!

Evil Tobi: Dang… I need another source for my menacing lightning. Readers! Help me out here! Give ideas! Or else you shall suffer from my wrath (No evil music or lightning) Dangit… It's just not the same.

Me: (lightning flashed and evil music plays) MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA