Disclaimer: I do not own this show or any of it's characters. And according to the fine print, I don't even own my own interviewers!!! They own themselves! I. Hate. The. Damn. Fine. Print.
Total Drama Interviews
Chapter Three: For Love or Noah
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"Almost there." Auora bit her lip as she placed the last pop cicle stick on their project. "There finished!" The girls had made a giant monument out of Popsicle sticks. The monument, was of Chef holding a giant Popsicle.
"Its...so beautiful!" Adrianna said.
"I know. It's too beautiful for words." Sarah commented.
The loudspeaker overhead buzzed. "Okay girls. Report to the Dock of Shame. Your next victim is here." Chris announced.
"Yipee! Its Noah's turn!" Adrianna squealed and ran towards the dock.
"Your turn to be the interviewer." Auora smirked.
"No! I have to be the boring one this chapter." Sarah pouted. Auora put a hand on her shoulder.
"Eh, you'll live." They walked out to the dock where they saw Adrianna hugging the life out of Noah.
"Help." He chocked out as his face was turning blue. Chef came over there and pried the girl away from the book worm.
"Chef!" she yelled giving him a hug. He put her down, slowly. She then turned to Chris. "Chris!" she yelled running and hugging him as well. She then turned to Auora and Sarah.
"Oh no." Auora whispered.
"FRIENDS!!!" she ran up and glomped the two girls, knocking them down to the ground.
"Adrianna." Auora coughed. "Lungs...crushing. Can't...breathe." Adrianna jumped off her friends and helped them to their feet. She sees a random man on the side of the dock.
"Intern!" She chases and hugs the poor defenseless intern. She then magically appears in front of the camera. "Viewing audience!" She wrestles the camera and the cameraman to the ground. She then stands up and gasps loudly. "Fish!!!!" She jumps into the lake searching for her beloved fish. Auora and Sarah look at her in confusion but then shrug off the feeling.
"Shall we get started?" Sarah said casually.
"Okay, lets get this show on the road." Chris said clapping his hands together. The girls and Noah walked towards the trailer. They waited outside for Adrianna until they finally see her walk towards them dripping wet. She had the captured fish in her hand. The girls started giggling at her friends.
"Umm are you just going to keep it like that?" Auora asked.
"Uh huh!" Adrianna said nodding her head frantically. She saw Sarah shaking her head. "Oh please Sarah can I keep it!" She gave her the puppy dog eyes.
"Oh you know I can't resist the puppy dog eyes! Shew fine! Just leave it outside."
"Yay! Now you stay there Mr. Fishy and don't move." she said to the fish who was flopping on the grass.
When they walk through the door they to see a machine like thing laying on the couch.
"Umm, what is that?" Auora asked.
"Its a lie detector. As long as I'm interviewing, there will be no lies!" Sarah announced. Sarah ran out of the trailer to get something out of the cabin. Auora and Adrianna hooked Noah up to the lie detector and started to test it out.
"What is your name?" Adrianna asked.
"Noah." A single 'ding' signified that he was telling the truth.
"Were you on TDI?"
"Yes." ding
"What is the square root of pi?" Auora asked.
"1.7725" ding
"Wow, the kids good." Auora said impressed. Sarah returned holding two large toy guns. She tossed them to her friends.
"If he answers a question and it beeps three times, shoot him with those Nerf guns." Sarah said.
"Wait a minute. I get shot if I lie!?! Thats not fair."
"It is cuz I'm the author and I can do what I want. Nah nah!" She sat on the armchair while her friends sat on the armrests. "Hmm this chair is comfy. Our first set of questions are from Ishiko Hinano. I feel so Asian when I say his name! Anyways before we ask you these questions he wanted me to tell you that it is a pity you and your smarts didn't make it far on TDI. And that he still thinks your the best out of the twenty-two."
"Glad to be appreciated!" he smirked.
"Okay, here is his first question. You are very intelligent. So why didn't you know that not playing dodgeball could get you eliminated? I mean, those people didn't know you so you should have made a better first impression."
"Well sports aren't my forte. And I thought those morons would see that they needed at least one smart person on their team, but I guess I was wrong."
"Can you please say something to the yaoi fangirls who pair you up with Cody? A message that makes it clear how you feel on the issue."
"Gladly. To set the record straight I am NOT, in any form or fashion, homosexual. I like women, okay. Not men. WOMEN!" He said. The lie detector gave a ding.
"Wow, so he really isn't gay." Auora said.
"Or he's a good liar." Adrianna pointed out.
"Okay, next he asks when your birthday is."
"February 23."
"How important is romance in your life and why?"
"I don't really feel it's that important. Why should I have to worry about whether girls like me or not?"
Adrianna raised her hand as if she were in class. "I like you Noah!" she said softly.
"Oookay then. What's your favorite book?"
"Pride and Prejudice." beep beep beep. Auora pulled the trigger and shot a little Nerf ball and hit him in the head. "Ow! Okay then. My favorite book is The Prince and the Pauper." beep beep beep. Both girls shot this time. One ball hit him in the ear and the other hit him in the stomach. "Your stupid machine is broke!"
"Hmm, I wonder." Adrianna thought aloud. "Is your favorite book The Cat in the Hat?"
"Absolutely not! Thats a children's book." beep beep beep. The girls irrupted in laughter.
"So Mr. Einstein's favorite book is a Dr. Seuss book? Thats...interesting. Anyways, moving on, what do you think about being paired mostly with Cody, Izzy, Eva, Katie, and Heather?"
"I think it's completely ridiculous. I mean: A. I'm not gay. B. Izzy is a crazy lunatic. C. Eva is a scary beast. D. I have never even had an intelligent conversation with Katie. E. Why would anyone want to date that bitch?"
"FGHIJKLMNOPQR..." Sarah stopped when everyone in the room was looking at her. She grinned.
"STUVWXYZ! You can't start the alphabet and not finish!" Auora said.
"Okay next question. What do you look for in a potential crush?"
"Someone who actually has a brain and is not a bimbo. Oh and I prefer for them not to have been on TDI."
"Well that eliminates about half of America and Canada. Our next questions are from Coldstone288. Why are you such a smartass, smartass?"
"I am not a smartass. I was just an intellectual human being surrounded by idiots."
"Is it true that you had a shrine to Cody?"
"For the millionth time, I'm not gay!"
"You don't have to be gay to have a shrine of another guy." Auora pointed out.
"Yea, I could have a shrine to both of them, and not be gay at all!" Adrianna said. Sarah and Auora looked at her strangely. "What? It's not like I actually have a shrine to you guys!"
"Sure you don't, Adrianna. Do you think your smart enough to build the first flying car?"
"It would take years to build a flying car. First you would have to find something with enough fuel and mass tendency to actually hold an automobile, not including the passengers. And then you would have to find a device that would..."
"It's a yes or no question!" Sarah yelled getting aggravated.
"Yes." he said smartassidly and crossed his arms.
"Would you let Sarah drive?"
"Who's Sarah?"
"Me!" She grinned.
"Oh, in that case, god no!"
She gasped. "I'm offended. Why wouldn't you let me drive it?"
"Because you are not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer."
She laughed and cracked her fingers. "Okay here we go. I was on the honors list, I got a perfect score on my pre-ACT in English, I have a 4.0 GPA, I get Distinguished on the state finals every year since third grade, and I took Algebra in grade school." She sat back in her seat satisfied. Auora and Adrianna looked at her in horror. "What?"
"How?!?" Auora exclaimed.
"You don't act smart." Adrianna said dazed.
"It's like, you're two different people!" Auora said.
"Hey! I'm a complexed person okay! Moving on, did you beat the impossible quiz?"
"I've heard of it, and I know its a bunch of trick questions."
"It's hard, man. My friend Tierra memorized it and got to question ninety-eight! Anywhoz, What girl (or Cody) did you think was hot?"
"For the last time, no one. I don't have enough time for romance, and I AM NOT GAY!!!!"
"Take a pill." Auora muttered.
****************************Confession Cam****************************
Auora sat here playing with a slinky. She looked up to the camera, as if just noticing it was there. "So me and Sarah have a little plan for Noah. I wanted to stick him in a pit of fire and then feed him to the man eating woodpeckers, but she had a better idea. And it's going to be fun!"
**********************************************************************
"Next. What question are we on? I've got this one." She looks at the camera and smiles. "We are on question fourteen, Coldstone288. Okay, if you're so smart, why did you sign up for the show?"
"I wanted to prove that intelligence overpowers backstabbing and manipulation."
"And how did that work out for you?" Sarah asked.
"Shut it." he said between gritted teeth.
"Okay okay jeez. Whats the smartest thing you have ever done?"
"Well, theres so many, it's hard to pick just one."
"The smartest thing I ever did was agree to be in this story." Adrianna said. "I got to meet Noah." she said winking at him. He gulped nervously.
"What would you do for a Klondike bar?" Sarah asked.
"Umm... what kind of question is that?" He was then hit on the head with a nerf ball.
"It's a question that you will answer!" Auora yelled holding the gun.
"Ow, fine. I guess I would..... run ten laps, I don't know." Auora and Sarah looked at each other evilly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A Few Short Minutes Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Noah was huffing and puffing while running past the girls for the fourth time. "I didn't mean ten laps around the island!" he yelled, stopping to catch his breath.
"Well thats how we took it, now run!" Auora yelled in her scary voice. Noah began making his way around the island again. He finished his lap and collapsed in front of the girls.
"Okay, this is taking way too long." Sarah grabbed a flame torch and shot a flame at Noah. He took off running. Sarah then hopped on her "not stolen" golf cart and chased after him, flame thrower in hand. Adrianna and Auora stared after them.
"That is one interesting child, don't ya think? Adrianna?" she looked over at her friend was was starring at the sky.
"Have you ever noticed that clouds look like cotton candy?" she said looking at the clouds above. Auora shook her head.
"Come on, it's time you sit down." They went inside and sat down. After a few minutes of coloring, Noah and Sarah walked back in. Noah was covered in ash and some of his hair was scorched. He was slowly gnawing on a Klondike bar. Sarah walked in, giddy as always and took her rightful seat.
"Look, Noah, I drew you a picture!" Adrianna said handing Noah and sheet of paper. The paper had a picture of a wedding and two people standing in the center. At the top it said Noah and Adrianna 4-ever.
"Umm, okay?" he backed away slowly.
"Don't you think we should maybe get at least half way through this interview before all life ends?" Auora asked Sarah.
She sighed. "Sure, why not. Our next question is from MusicLover48. How did you get so boring, fun-sucking, and sarcastic?"
He just smirked. "It's a gift."
"A stupid gift if you ask me. Our next reviewer is Jewelz. Their first question is, is your name really Noah?" He pulled out a sheet of paper and reached it to Sarah. "Umm, what is this?"
"I heard that a reviewer asked repetitive questions about ones personal information, so I brought my birth certificate." He crossed his arms and smirked.
"Umm, okay then? Talk about coming prepared." She looked over the document. "Okay so his name is Noah Christopher Sanchez. Niceness, dude. Anyways, what does your name mean?"
"It doesn't really mean anything. But then again I haven't particularly researched the subject."
"What is your favorite TV show?"
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Jeopardy."
"Do you consider yourself to be notorious?"
"Umm, I guess?"
"Is it true your nickname is Notorious Noah?"
"No it is not, what is with these random questions?"
"Oh you haven't seen random questions yet. When did you first start reading?"
"When I was about three."
"Let me guess, Cat in the Hat?" Auora smirked.
"Bite me." he grunted. He looked to his left and saw Adrianna gnawing on his finger. "Not literally!" he shouted startling her. She fell backwards. She rubbed her head and grunted.
"Okay then? Who is your idol?"
"Mark Twain."
"Boring."
"Well then who's your idol?" he folded his arms.
All three girls looked at him with a crazy, freakish grin. "Izzy." they all replied slowly and creepily.
"Oh dead lord..."
"Anyways... oh yay my favorite repetitive question! If you were forced to marry someone right this very second against your will and you cannot divorce this person and the people you are forced to choose from are Noah, Heather, Cody, Eva, Justin, Owen, Izzy, Chef (if he was a girl and wore a dress all the time), Alice from Superjail, a bear, Tootie from Fairly Odd Parents (if she were sixteen and obsessed with you instead of Timmy), an underwear model, or a professional female wrestler, who would you marry?"
"Umm, I honestly have to answer that?"
"Yes ma'am." Auora said.
He glared at her. "Well, I'll break it down for you. 1. I cannot marry myself. 2. Heather is a cold hearted bitch. 3. I DO NOT LOVE CODY BECAUSE I AM NOT FREAKING GAY!!!! 4. Eva is a rageaholic beast. 5. He is the anti-me and I AM NOT GAY! 6. He is a ticking time bomb of noctious fumes, he is fat and I am NOT GAY!!!!! 7. She is a crazy bird. 8. Even if Chef were a girl, no. Too weird. 9. I do not know who this Alice is. 10. I would never even imagine marring a bear. 11. Fairly Odd Parents is a stupid, immature show and I never watch it. 12. Professional female wrestlers are mannish and scary. Wait... is it a boy or girl underwear model?"
"Umm... not specified." Sarah said.
"Then I'm going to assume it's a girl and pick her."
"But if it's not, then you are gay." Auora said.
"Don't call him gay!" Adrianna said speaking for the first time in a while. A bird went past the window. "Ooo Frederich!" she screamed running out of the window to retrieve the bird.
"That wasn't creepy or random at all." Noah said. She soon returned with the bird and took her seat.
"Alrighty then? If you lost all your books and decided to buy some new ones, but when you got to the book store you found out that the only books that existed in the whole world were Spongebob books, Where's Waldo?, Dora the Explorer books, Leap Frog Learning to Read books, and an ABC book what would you buy? Nice question Jewelz."
"I wouldn't buy anything. I'd rather have leaches eat away at my brain than be subjected to read those abominations they call books."
"Man, your a kill joy. Here's an off the wall question. If someone was chasing you with a bomb, what would you do?"
"Ummm, probably run, why?" The door to the trailer bursts open and a figure is standing in the doorway. A ticking sound is heard from the devise in their hands. "Oh crap!" He takes off running yet again into the distance. The figure chases after him in a blur.
"Umm, I'm guessing that was Jewelz?" Auora said.
"Don't worry baby! I'll save you!" Adrianna then jumps into the helicopter and chases off after Noah.
"I'm guessing she had a little too much white powder last chapter." Sarah said receiving a glare from Auora. "I have an idea! Let's leave before they get back!"
"Okay!" As soon as they got to their feet they heard a loud explosion. Jewelz came running back into the room half scorched.
"Thanks so much, it was nice meeting you guys, I had fun, BYE!" she said in one breath before taking off like a hurricane. Noah returned, his body more burnt than before. He sat down on the couch glaring at the girls.
"I. Hate. You. All."
"Yay! Anyways our next set of questions are from bluemoon2021b. Do you do other things in your spare time besides reading?"
"I do actually. I work at a coffee shop, I write short stories, I am captain of the Academic Team, I-"
"Woops, don't care. Next! What is your IQ?"
"Last time I checked it was 178." The room was very quiet.
"Is that good?" Auora asked.
"Yes it's good!" he said angrily.
"Okay okay jeez! Have a cow, why don't you." Auora said.
"No fighting unless I start it!" Sarah yelled. "Now, where were we? Oh yea. Who is your favorite author. You know, besides Dr. Seuss."
"Mark Twain." he growled.
"What was the first book you ever read?"
"The Cat in the Hat."
"Oh, so thats why it's your favorite!" Auora said in realization.
"Did you think any of the girls on TDI were hot? And were you crushing on any of them?"
"For the millionth time, romance is pointless and I have not fallen subject to it."
"Wow downer. If you weren't voted off third, do you think you would have made it to the final three?"
"If it were any other game, yes. However, after seeing the rest of the season, I highly doubt it. Since I wasn't backstabbing, manipulative, or scary enough to make it far."
"Who did you vote off?"
"I voted for Lindsay. I've eaten sandwiches with more brains than her."
"There has been a rumor going around that you are dating Katie, while your identical brother is dating Sadie, and that you once dated Heather. Is this true?"
He let out an annoyed sigh. "I did not date anyone from the show, and I do not have a twin. Is this interview over yet?"
"Nope! We aren't even half way through."
"What the f-"
"What do you think of the videos on YouTube that people made about you with what they consider to be your theme song? Do you agree that those would be your theme songs?"
"I do not waste my valuable time watching YouTube videos." he replied snobbishly.
"He's not a Grinch at all!"
"Oh, I bet thats one of his favorite books too!" Auora replied.
"The next question is, if you could choose your own theme song, what would it be?"
"I don't listen to music."
"Downer. Do you have a MP3 player? Well, I guess he doesn't. What's your favorite color?"
"Red."
"Is it true that you failed art class and had to go to summer school for it?"
"Absolutely not! I have never gotten below an A+ on anything in my life!"
"Bologna." Auora coughed.
"What is your favorite subject?"
"Arithmetic." The girls looked at him in a confused silence. "It means math!" he shouted.
"Oh!" All three girls chorused.
"Is it true that you own over 18,9 books?"
"18,9 isn't even a number!" He was become even more furious with every question.
"The reviewer is always right!" Auora said shooting him again with the nerf gun.
"Do you prefer Fiction or Non-Fiction?"
"Fiction."
"What type of books do you like to read?"
"Science Fiction."
"Oh, is that the kind where it shows you how to dissect a frog?"
Auora shot Adrianna with the nerf gun and then shot Sarah in the head. "Ow, what was that for?"
"For giving her the crack last chapter!"
"Crack?" Noah asked looking scared and confused.
Sarah laughed, "Oh yea, haha. Good times. Anyways, did you make any friends at Playa de Losers?"
"Not really, but Izzy pretty much stalked me."
"Who would do such a thing?" Adrianna said. Meanwhile, she was sitting next to Noah, scooting closer and closer to him. Her nose practically touching his cheek.
"Would you sign up for a reality show again if you were given the chance?"
"When hell freezes over."
"I'll take that as a maybe. Okay our next questions are from crazytdifangirll11111000001111. And let me just say, she gets an award from me. She never fails to make me laugh. First question, why are you so boring?"
"I am not boring." he growled.
"Why do you read?"
"For entertainment purposes."
"What is the best and worst book you have ever read?"
"Well we know his favorite is Cat in the Hat." Auora said.
Noah glared at her, "You are never going to let that go are you?"
"Nope!" she smiled.
"Well the worst is Twilight."
"You read Twilight?" Auora asked.
"I read the first one and hated it."
"You know, I want to voice my opinion." Sarah said.
"Oh god." Noah muttered.
Sarah walked up to the camera. "Okay, I have read every Twilight book, so I have an expert opinion. At first I loved Twilight, I had posters and everything. But I am sick of the screaming fangirls. Yes I will go watch the new movie, but I will not wait in line for hours and I will not scream when Robert Pattinson walks on screen. Oh and the fourth book sucked. It was the worst book I have ever read. It was so freakin boring! Oh, and I'm team Edward. I don't see why everyone loves Jacob Black. He annoys the piss out of me." She smiled and sat back down.
"Wow, just, wow." Auora said.
"Anyways, next question. What is your least favorite book?"
"Twilight."
"Is it true you wrote the dictionary?"
He raised an eyebrow. "No, thats absurd."
"What inspired you to write the dictionary?"
"Nothing! I didn't write it."
"Why did you write it?"
"For the millionth time, I did not write it!"
"Why is your name in it?"
"I don't know!"
"Can you put my name in it?"
He sighed. "I can't believe there are actually people on this Earth that are just as idiotic as you three." Sarah was too busy scribbling in a book. "Umm, what are you doing?"
"Just making some minor changes." When she finished she reached the book to Auora. She read the contents out loud.
"crazytdifangirll11111000001111-A dedicated and loyal reviewer to Total Drama Interviews. She has an imaginary friend named Gina who is married to Ezekiel. Synonyms: crazy, fangirl, and the number 1." She looks up from the dictionary and looks at Sarah. "Wow, Sarah. Just, wow."
She grinned. "I know, right. Your welcome crazytdifangirll11111000001111. On with the questioning. What's your favorite number?"
"100."
"What is your sexual orientation?"
"I. Am. Straight." he snarled.
"Are you sure of it?"
"Yes, I am completely, one hundred percent sure of it."
"How long have you been gay?"
"NEVER!"
"How long have you been bi?"
"NEVER!"
"Do you read books about your own species?"
"You mean humans? Of course. Every book I have read contains humans."
"Or giant cats." Auora said.
"Whats it like being a Norkian?"
"A what?"
"A Norkian. Someone who resides on planet Nork." Adrianna said.
"Wow, you haven't talked much in this chapter have you?" Auora said.
"Were you born on Earth or Planet Nork?"
"Of course I was born on Earth. What is this girl smoking?"
"She isn't smoking anything, cuz as we all know, drugs are bad." Auora looked at her suspiciously. "Moving on, what is life like back home on planet Nork?"
"Nork isn't a planet, and I am from Earth!"
"Sure you are, buddy. Is it true you have long make-out sessions with Cody that start on Friday nights and end on Monday mornings?"
Now Noah was fuming. "For the last damn time.... I AM NOT GAY!!!!!"
Everyone gasped. "Watch your language!" Adrianna said.
"Wait, you're not gay?" Auora teased.
Noah groaned. "I hate my life."
"Are you aware of the tracking devise that was injected into your head while you were sleeping that was made to track you down to see what you and Cody are doing?"
"I think I would wake up during such an event and I don't even talk to Cody. I wouldn't even call us friends."
"Oh, so he was kinda like a one night stand right?" Auora said. She ducked quickly to avoid contact with the lamp flying at her head.
"Are your favorite songs really 'I Kissed A Girl' by Katy Perry, 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia' by the Charlie Daniels Band, the Smart Guy Theme Song, 'No Such Thing' by John Mayer, 'I Kissed A Boy' by Cobra Starship, 'Royal Pain' by the Eels, 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' by Panic at the Disco, 'I Need Some Sleep' by Eels, and Pachabells Cannon?"
"Nope."
"Wow, that was an extremely long question with an extremely short reply. Why is your head so big?"
"To cover my enormous brain."
"Is it really that big or is something projecting it to make it look big?"
"Umm, nope. It's just big."
"When did you become an evil mastermind."
"Around the fourth grade."
"What do you want to do later on in life?"
"Win a Nobel Prize and become a college professor at Harvard University."
"How do you feel right now about all these questions you are being asked?"
"I think that the questions have been retarded and that you lousy reviewers need to get it through your thick skulls that I am not gay!"
"Hey! No one insults my reviewers!" Sarah takes Auora's nerf gun and throws it at Noah, making contact with his big egg head.
"Owch!"
"How do you feel about this interview?"
"I think it's been a complete and utter waste of time. I die a little inside with every question."
"Wow, it's a wonder your still living." Auora said.
"How many more questions do you think you will be asked?"
"Knowing my luck? About one hundred more."
"Aww quit being a baby. Our next few questions are from Wowzera. What is your favorite vegetable?"
"Broccoli."
"Eww, health!" Adrianna screamed.
"What is your favorite fruit?"
"Apple."
"I hate apples."
"You do? What is wrong with you?"Auora asked.
"I'm an unique and complex person okay! Do you have a girlfriend and have you ever had a girlfriend?"
"Yes I have had a girlfriend before but I am currently single."
"Yay!" Adrianna screamed. She looked around at all the confused faces starring at her. "Sorry, random spasm."
"Was Cody the first person you kissed? If not who was?"
"I technically did not kiss Cody, and I have never kissed anyone."
"Thats going to change." Auora whispered to Sarah who replied with a wink.
"What were you thinking about in your sleep when you kissed Cody?"
"How should I remember? That was months ago."
"Our next questions are from All4Noah."
"Love the name."
"You would. They ask, if you could have any super power what would it be?"
"Reading minds and telekinesis would be pretty cool."
"I wanna fly!" Adrianna said.
"I wanna have super strength and speed." Auora grinned evilly. They all looked at Sarah.
"What would you wanna do, Pinky?" Adrianna said.
"Pinky?" Auora asked.
"Private joke."
"I would wanna control fire!" Sarah said. Noah looked at her funny. "What? I'm like a pyro. What is your favorite element?"
"Probably wind."
"Like Raimundo! Sorry, I've been making Xiaolin Showdown vids recently. Have you guys ever watched that show? I love it! Anyways, what is your favorite movie?"
"Lord of the Rings."
"Star Wars is better."
"Yeah right."
"I sense a challenge." Adrianna said.
"Not right now, I'm already at 16 pages on this thing and I kinda wanna finish. Do you plan on writing any books?"
"I already have on in the the works. It's called-"
"Sorry, don't care. How many books have you read in your life?"
"Do you want me to count?"
"Nope. How long do you think it would take you to read every single book in the world if you were reading straight one book after another no breaks or anything?"
"I don't know! There are over a million books published daily!"
"How long will it take you to read every book in a book store?"
"In a big one? I'd say about two years."
"How many books do you own?"
"About two hundred."
"What type of music do you listen to?"
"I don't listen to much music."
"What were you in a past life?"
"I don't believe in reincarnation."
"Is that like a religion or something?" Adrianna asked.
"Reincarnation is when you die and come back as something else." Auora explained.
"Oh, I bet I would come back as a squirrel!"
"Of course you would. Do you have feelings for Heather?"
"Of course not, she is a manipulative skank."
"If you could live in any show what would it be?"
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. I could get some major cash."
"What would you do if you were locked in a bookstore and you couldn't get out for twenty days?"
"I would probably read, Einstein."
"What if you were locked in with crazy people like Izzy, Katie, Sadie, and All4Noah? At the same time!"
"Oh, well in that case, I would probably kill myself." he said matter-of-factly.
"If All4Noah saw you in a random area and she wanted to give you a hug would you let her?"
"Why would she want a hug?"
"Isn't it obvious? She's a fangirl. Jeez your dumb." Auora said.
"Then no I wouldn't let her."
"Would you let me, Noah?" Adrianna asked with hopeful eyes.
"No."
Adrianna looked unfased. "You'll see." she whispered.
"Our final reviewed question is from Anne. She asks, what is your greatest fear?"
"I fear nothing." beep beep beep
Auora shot him. "Oh come on! You have to be afraid of something!" she yelled.
Sarah's phone began to ring. "Sweet ringtone, what is it?" Adrianna asked.
"Check Yes Juliet, by We The Kings. Hello? Oh hey bro. Uh huh. Yea." She began laughing histarically. "Thats awesome dude! Okay okay I will. Later."
"What was that about?" Auora asked.
"I have a follow-up question. My little brother Steve wants to know if your worst fear is dancing gophers?"
Noah began to look nervous. "N-no. Thats ridiculous." ding ding ding.
The three girls began laughing histarically. "Oh..my...god! This...is....even better... than... the Cat... in the Hat!" Auora said between laughs.
Adrianna wiped a tear out of her eye and looked at Sarah. "How did your brother come up with that anyways?"
"He's writing a fanfiction about all the campers' fears. Be on the look out for 'Total Drama Freakout' written by The Green Hedgehog."
"Are we done yet?" Noah asked.
"Nope! I have three questions!" Adrianna said.
"Oh brother."
"Okay, number one. Why are you so incredibly hot when you read and cheer for your team sarcastically?"
"I don't know, I guess I just am. It's a gift."
"Why do you carry a picture of your mom in your pocket? Or that Barbie doll that you secretly smooch when you think no one is looking?"
"I do not carry such items!"
"Auora, search him." Sarah said.
"Aye aye Captain!" she saluted. She grabbed Noah's feet and dangled him upside down shaking him violently. Sure enough, a Barbie doll and a photo fell out of his pants.
"Dude! That is messed up!" Sarah laughed.
"Okay time for the final question of the interview. Why did you pick Eva to help you win the million dollars, and not me DAMNITZ!!!!"
Noah was now hiding behind the couch. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't eat me!!! I will pick you next time!"
"Yay!" Adrianna cheered quickly switching moods.
"Now we just have one more thing to do before the closing." Auora smirked.
Sarah and Auora began walking toward Noah. "Umm, whats going on? Oh crap!"
Noah woke up tied to a wooden chair. A metal devise was placed on his head. The whole room was dark except for a sliver of light shinning directly on him. "Why am I tied to a chair? And what the hell is on my head?!?!"
"It's a brain controlling devise." said Auora. Her and Sarah stepped out of the darkness standing next to each other. Sarah held a remote in her hand.
"How the hell did you manage to create a brain controlling devise?"
"Told you I wasn't stupid." Sarah said.
"What are you going to do to me!?"
The both stepped aside to reveal Adrianna grinning madly behind them.
"Oh no..."
Sarah turned a few knobs and pushed a few buttons on the remote. Noah felt a very ticklish feeling in his head. "Okay, Noah, you love Adrianna."
"I love Adrianna."
"You want to kiss Adrianna."
"I want to kiss Adrianna."
"Yipee!" Adrianna screamed. She ran and jumped on Noah's lap and began smooching him. Sarah grabbed the camera from the camera man and her and Auora walked outside.
"Any reason you decided to become the new camera man?" Auora asked.
"I am trying to keep this story at a PG-13 level. Knowing Adrianna, I think it's more safe for both of us out here." Sarah says from behind the camera. "Oh look there's Chris!" The two girls run up and greet the host.
"Whats up girls?"
"Look what we found in Noah's pants!" Sarah screamed excitedly.
"I don't wanna know why you were in his pants, but, what the heck." He takes the Barbie doll and looks at the picture. His face starts to turn red. "Why does that twerp have a picture of my mom!?!?!"
"Your mom?" Sarah asks.
"Wait til I get my hands on that little-" he says while walking towards the trailer.
"Noah carries a picture of Chris' mom? Dude this is sick!" Auora says while bumping fists with Sarah.
"I know, right?" Just then Adrianna came out with her arms crossed.
"Chris ruined my make out session with Noah!"
"Awww." the two girls said in unison.
"Yea, and Mr. Fishy died!" she said holding up a dead fish.
"What a shame." Auora said.
"I have an idea! I'm going to plan a fishy funeral! Stay right here, let me go get my lucky shovel."
"Quick, lets hurry this up before she gets back." Auora whispered.
"Right. Hey can you hold this while I do the ending?"
"Sure." The camera shakes as it is past to Auora. Sarah appears on the screen.
"Okay, this has been a very long chapter. I received 105 questions! Dudes, thats awesome! Thanks to all of you who love reading my stories. Wanna appear in my interviews like Jewelz and crazytdifangirll11111000001111? Well just review review review! Our next victim will be Justin so submit questions for the hunk himself. I leave you now with these thrilling questions. How will we torture Justin? Why does Adrianna call me Pinky? Did Noah get to second base? Which is truly better, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars. Psst, it's Star Wars. And will Auora finally try some of my famous, not tampered with, brownies?"
"Nope!"
"Stay tuned next time, on Total! Drama! Interviews!"
Auora twists the camera so it's facing her. "And cut!"
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Wowza dudes. That was a long 20 pages. Thanks so much for the support and reviews. I love you all specially! Yea, need to work on my vocabulary. Anyways sorry for the late update, I've been at 4-H camp and at my grandma's where Internet seeses to exist. Anywho, review!!!!
Sarah~xTAx
PS: Special thanks to Adrianna and my little brother for some ideas. Love ya bro. Love ya twinie!